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No Longer Deserving

Summary:
Rosalie was wrong about Bella's death. She had caused her family all the pain in thinking she was dead. Now Rosalie can't come to terms of what to do now,because as she sees it she is a monster. What will she do now?


Notes:
Everything belongs to Stephanie Meyer


2. Love And Lies

Rating 4.5/5   Word Count 991   Review this Chapter

My head was hung low as I walked down the stairs. I was hoping that no one was home,so no one could stop me. My head swam with emotion and thoughts of everything I had done,I just wanted it to be over. I was so deep in my thoughts that I didn't notice a hand on my shoulder. It made me jump. I was afraid to turn around to see who it was,so I kept my back turned.

"Rosalie?" It was Jasper who was behind me."Rosalie are you ok?"

I really did not want to answer. No of course I wasn't ok! Would you be ok if you found out you ruined lives?

"Rose?" His voice seemed concerned. Thats not what I wanted to hear,I wanted him to be angry not worried."Rose?"

He grabbed my wrist and turned me around. He grabbed my shoulders and looked me in the eye. I decided it was time to answer,or at the very least lie my butt off.

"Oh um, sorry Jasper." I tried to chuckle, but it sounded more like a choke." I'm just a bit wrapped up in my thoughts right now."

"Anything you want to talk about?" He asked still seeming worried."I could feel your emotions going crazy,and I wanted to make sure you were ok."

"Yeah I'm...perfect."I smiled a small smile.

"Don't you lie to me Rosalie,I can feel that you are." He said seriously.

Oh no! Was I going to crack? I could feel that he was trying to calm me at that moment. I needed a lie....a Rosalie Hale lie, something that would make it seem like my feeling at the moment was unimportant..

"Ok well, I was just reading a fashion magazine and I found out that ponchos were back in." I was supprised that my lie kinda sounded like a me lie.

"Oh."He sounded kinda taken back.I felt the calm that had been going threw me disappear."Thats it?"

"Jasper! That is very important. Maybe if you knew about style you would understand! Now please move aside, I'm going to go and get some air."

I than walked away. I was actually kinda proud of myself that I could lie like that even though Jasper could feel it. I felt bad about being mean like that,but I needed to get away before anyone found my notes. So with Jasper still standing at the foot of the stairs, I had to make a dramatic leave,so that it wouldn't seem suspicious. I opened the door and flipped back my hair. And walked straight out huffing and trying not to break down while Jasper was watching.

Finally I was out of the house. My heart seemed like it sank in my chest and If I could cry I would. I took one last look at the house. I saw the light in Emmett and I's room flick on...I waited a few moments than I heard a loud angry growl. Emmett had saw the notes and the ring. I knew now that Alice, Jasper,Esme and Carlisle would be there reading the note as well. I quickly made a leave to the forest. There was not much more I could do now that they had found it......

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It had been a day or two. I was good at covering my track so no one could find me, and I was also moving around alot so Alice would not be able to see me. I did feel horrible when I thought about Esme. She was so kind and gentle. And Carlisle was understanding and caring. I was starting to wonder if I had made another mistake- No I couldn't affored to make another mistake in life. My limit was exceeded....Still I thought about Emmett. How he was feeling. Was he thinking about me? Or has he already moved on and was now begging to smile and laugh again. But my thoughts were interrupted by a noise near by. Maybe it was a deer? I was beginnings to get thirsty and a deer would hold me over for now. But the more I heard it,that was no animal, if it was than It would be larger and more angry than any animal out there. It was getting closer. I closed my eyes hoping that It was going to leave....but it just came closer to me. Than I heard it speak.

"Rosalie." The voice was low and relived. I knew the voice. Emmett had found me."Rosalie?"

My eyes still didn't open because I was afraid that it was really him. Maybe it was my imagination...

"Rosalie Hale open your eyes now." Emmett commanded. I reuctently did. He looked relived and angry at the same time.

Emmett watched me for a moment than flung his arms around me. Boy was I shocked!

"Emmett Stop!" I quickly relized that I had ran away,and he was hugging me for it?

Emmett stopped and looked into my eyes.

"Rosalie you have to come home."He said like he was talking to a small child getting a shot."Esme and Carlisle are a wreck."

A wreck? I thought they would be happy? One less person to care about.

"Emmett why are you here?" I asked

"Rose."He chuckled." I'm here to bring you back."

"No."I stood my ground.

"Rose, we all need to talk this out."He sounded upset again." Everyone is waiting."

He grabbed my wrist and tried to pull me with him. I pulled away.

"Leave me alone Emmett!" I said turning away."Please,I don't want to come back and ruin anyone else."

"Rosalie, I'm sorry but I came to get you and thats what I'm doing. whether you wanted to come or not."

Before I knew it he had me in his iron grip. He was stronger than I and I couldn't move.

Emmett carried me slowly and didn't look down. But we were at the house in a matter of minutes. He opened the door and set me down. I than saw the faces of 4 people who looked pleased to see me.