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The Lonely Wolf

To phase the first time: disorienting. Horrible. Terrifying. Painful. To become a monster: sickening. Strange. Agonizing. Estranging. This we know from Jacob. Must it not have been so much worse to be Sam? He did it all... and he did it all alone. A story in the perspective of the first of our beloved werewolves, Sam Uley. From shortly before the time of his first phase to his marriage to Emily Young.

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12. Chapter 12

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Fantastic. Absolutely fantastic! Three weeks ago, this would have been good news. Both of us know it, and it only makes this worse. We could just have moved the wedding up a little, gotten married, been happy… we still will, of course. It’s just so much harder now. “Oh.”

She balls her hands into fists and whirls around to glare at me. “That all you have to say for yourself? Very coherent, Sam. That’s reassuring. Now I’m not terrified that I’m going to have to raise this child all by myself because its father is running around doing God-knows-what!”

I close my eyes. I can’t be happy about this, because I have too much to worry about, my own life is so totally chaotic. But I know I won’t do what she’s suggesting. “Of course I’ll be here for you, Leah. And for our baby. You know that, no matter what happens, you’re my priority.”


She sounds desolate, lonely. Her voice is small and weak, as though she’s speaking from a vast distance.

“Really,” I assure her. “Now, I think maybe we need to talk about this. Just, seriously, discuss what we’re going to do. Why don’t we move to a more comfortable venue?”

“Yeah. I’ve spent plenty of time in this bathroom.” She follows me to the couch in our living room, where she promptly sprawls out, taking up three quarters of the space. I squish into a corner and wisely don’t complain. A little bit of passive-aggressive discomfort-induction can’t be held to the account of a woman in Leah’s situation, after all.

“So we’re having a baby,” I say, somewhat anti-climactically.

“Yes. We are.” She sounds aggressive, as usual.

“Do you want to get married… sooner? We should probably set a date. I mean, it would be better if we had a little time to get used to it before the kid’s born.”

Her eyes pop out of her head. “You still plan on getting hitched?”

“When did the plans change?”

“I thought, with everything… you’ve been slipping away, Sam. And I didn’t think you still planned to spend the rest of your life with me.”

I smile at her and affectionately rub a hand over her feet, the only part of her within arm’s length. “Of course I do. What would I do without you?”

“I think we should get married, then, in about two months. Enough time to yank a wedding together- we can get Emily to do it. She’s into that sorta thing. Hey, have you met Emily?”

“No. She’s your cousin, right?” She is always talking about her.

“More like a sister. She’d love to plan my wedding. She used to tease me, when I was little, that I’d never get married, because… well, you know how I am. And Emily’s so sweet. The kind of girl everyone wants to be like,” Leah says, and I sense some childhood insecurity here.

“I’m glad to prove her wrong,” I tease.

“We’re going to have to both keep working, since you… didn’t go to college.”

“Yeah.” She was pretty mad about that, too. But I can’t leave the reservation. I have a duty, a job to do, after all. There are vampires here. “But we’ll make it work.”

“Of course we will.”