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The Lonely Wolf

Summary:
To phase the first time: disorienting. Horrible. Terrifying. Painful. To become a monster: sickening. Strange. Agonizing. Estranging. This we know from Jacob. Must it not have been so much worse to be Sam? He did it all... and he did it all alone. A story in the perspective of the first of our beloved werewolves, Sam Uley. From shortly before the time of his first phase to his marriage to Emily Young.


Notes:
I disclaim. Add the story to your favorites! Just do it, people.


34. Chapter 34

Rating 0/5   Word Count 656   Review this Chapter

Imprinting. It’s like… how do I describe this? The pure power of it?

I can hear everything you say, you know. Like, not just when you’re actually talking to me. Everything you think, I can listen to.

Oh. Thanks for telling me. That’s useful. Now I know what to avoid thinking about. So anyway, let me show you. You know I was Leah’s boyfriend. All through high school, pretty much.

Was? She broke…

I broke up with her.

Why, man? he whines. She’s gorgeous. And you two were totally in love.

Are. One of us, at least. It’s a little personal, sure, but this guy’s going to be sharing my every thought for god knows how long.

Weren’t you two getting married and all?

I hadn’t thought we’d made it that public. Yeah. And… I picture Leah, on her knees in front of the toilet, the horror in her eyes.

She was pregnant? Wow, you’re an asshole.

The last part isn’t directed at me, but I still hear it. And deserve it. Thus, nasty. I didn’t have a choice, Jared. You don’t understand.

He shrugs. I’m the first to admit that, Sam. Explain. Spill the good stuff, bud.

I loved Leah, I begin carefully. I show him that it’s the truth through my mind, not that I could lie to him like this. I really meant this- holding her hand gently, fingers weaving through mine- and this- “I love you, Leah,”- and this- just a simple, chaste kiss, but my heart burning as I press my lips to hers- I didn’t plan it this way, Jared. I thought I was going to get all of that, what I showed you. Sure, I was phasing, I was gonna loose the other things, the scholarship, the decent job, but we were going to make it work. We were. She even invited her cousin up to help us plan the wedding.

Look anything like her? he teases.

I growl. Yeah. My Emily. With a picture of her face, before the scars.

Oh my God. I take that asshole comment back. That would be an insult to assholes everywhere.

Damn it! I snap, breaking down. I know he doesn’t mean to direct this at me, but I can’t listen to it. I never asked for this, any of this. I’d rather be human, trust me! But I never had a choice.

Being a wolf doesn’t excuse… he begins.

I close my eyes. I know. I know. There’s no excuse for what I did to Leah. But there is a reason… imprinting.

What’s that?

I’m trying to explain. I think I have to show you… I picture the moment I met Emily. It may be my clearest memory. Her face shines, her eyes aglow. The rumble is in my ears as the rest of the world ceases to be in the wake of her presence.

Oh. Wow. Wow.

Yeah.

I take back the asshole thing, he offers. You’re right.

Thanks.

Does that happen to…

Old Quil says it was rare. You have to see her for it to happen, I explain. If I’d never met Emily… none of this would have happened. I’m not sure whether to bless my good fortune or curse my bad luck.

Think I will? His thought sounds wistful. My eyes snap open in disbelief.

You want to imprint?

Yeah. It looks… you know. This doesn’t sound real manly, but… beautiful. Powerful. I’d like it. He tosses his head. And you’re happy. I can see it. Scared, guilty, yeah. But happy.

I hadn’t thought about that. But he’s right. As long as Emily has incomprehensibly come to forgive me, I’m happy. I guess… you’re right.

Huh. So you’re not totally insufferable.

And you’re not a complete idiot.

Glad to earn so high an opinion, Mr. Uley.

This could be the start of a beautiful friendship.

He snorts, and takes off after me into the woods. Let’s run.