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The Lonely Wolf

Summary:
To phase the first time: disorienting. Horrible. Terrifying. Painful. To become a monster: sickening. Strange. Agonizing. Estranging. This we know from Jacob. Must it not have been so much worse to be Sam? He did it all... and he did it all alone. A story in the perspective of the first of our beloved werewolves, Sam Uley. From shortly before the time of his first phase to his marriage to Emily Young.


Notes:
I disclaim. Add the story to your favorites! Just do it, people.


36. Chapter 36

Rating 5/5   Word Count 536   Review this Chapter

“Do you mean that?” she whispers.

I shake my head, but keep my eyes fixed on hers. “Emily, dearest Emily. How could you doubt me? Doubt this?” I take her hand, the unmarked one. Maybe someday her skin will turn to scars, but for now she’s still bleeding and in pain. If I touch the places I’ve marked, it will hurt her, and God knows I’ve done enough for that.

She closes her eyes and pulls her hand from mine, and that’s when I realize it, looking at the half of her face that I haven’t destroyed.

“You don’t feel this like I do. You don’t believe when I tell you the truth because you can’t tell how much I love you. You can’t feel it, can you?”

She shakes her head.

“Look into my eyes, Emily. Look at me. Please.”

It only goes one way. That’s why she’s so insecure. She doesn’t realize what I feel for her, the intensity, the pure overwhelming power of it. She doesn’t know how completely I worship her, or the sheer volume of the love. “Emily, why do you think I left Leah?”

“You had to. Because of the imprint.”

I sigh deeply. Yes, in a way she’s very right. Without that sudden, desperate pull I never would have torn myself away from Leah to find where I belong. Who I belong to. But there’s so much more than that. The imprinting was a clue, a gift, a helping hand along the way. Emily is my perfect match. The imprinting didn’t fit us together like two pieces to a puzzle, it simply whacked me over the head with that fact until I couldn’t ignore it anymore.

And it’s only one way. I imprinted on her. She’s what I see instead of darkness when I close my eyes. She’s the light in the midst of everything. She’s the center of the world, a gravity that pulls me where it will and I willingly follow.

This is all unrequited.

I wouldn’t have it any other way. I wouldn’t want such a perfect being bound so deeply and eternally to a monster like myself. She deserves better. She deserves choice.

I don’t need it. I know what I need, and that is to make her happy.

“No. Emily, all imprinting does is show you what’s already there. If it weren’t for it, yeah, I probably would never have acknowledged how I felt. How I feel. You’re looking at me? What do you see?”

I stare at her, drinking in every detail of her face, every mark, every line, every curve and angle and… scar. But it, to me, is simply part of the way she is beautiful.

I let the love in my eyes show.

“I see… you love me.”

“Yes,” I whisper triumphantly. “Yes. I love you. More than life itself. More than I ever thought I could love. I learned what that word meant the moment I met you.” I press my lips to one corner of her mouth, gently.

The door opens suddenly, and I hear a single wrenching sob before it slams back closed.

“What…”

“I asked Leah to come over. While you were out running.”

Oh, no.