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The Lonely Wolf

To phase the first time: disorienting. Horrible. Terrifying. Painful. To become a monster: sickening. Strange. Agonizing. Estranging. This we know from Jacob. Must it not have been so much worse to be Sam? He did it all... and he did it all alone. A story in the perspective of the first of our beloved werewolves, Sam Uley. From shortly before the time of his first phase to his marriage to Emily Young.

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39. Chapter 39

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Jared bows his head when he knocks on the door. I let him in and smile. “Hey, man.”

“Hey. This Emily’s place?”

“Yeah.” I nod.

He moves as if to come in. I put a hand on his chest to stop him. “Wait a sec, Jared. Okay? I gotta talk to you about something. Serious, for a sec.”


I take a deep breath and look him in the eye. He looks mildly confused, not angry, like I probably would have been when I was that new. Either he doesn’t have a temper at all, or… it’s probably because there’s me, to teach him control, to show him the mask I’ve found to wear, to help him put it on.

“Jared, you gotta have control, okay? Focus.”


“No, this is really deadly serious. If you phase, you could kill her. I almost did.”


“Did I not tell you about that?” I take a deep breath. “I lost control. She told me to go away, to never bother her again. She said she hated me. Hated me. It… I… I just snapped. I phased with her standing two feet away and took half her face off. It took everything I had to phase back. I carried her twelve miles into the Forks hospital. She almost bled to death in my arms… it was all over me.”

He doesn’t have to be able to read my mind to hear the horror in my voice. “So that’s why you were so guilty, before. I thought it was just because of Leah.”

I shake my head. “I… it’s this. This is the worst thing possible. I nearly took her life. She could have died… and it would have been my fault. Even as it is… so, yeah, when you meet her… don’t stare, okay? She’s pretty insecure right now. It wasn’t that long ago.”


I hold out my hand, extended like a claw, and slash it through the air slowly. A demonstration. “When I phased… it… it left scars.”

“Oh.” Then he shrugs. “No big, my grandpa’s a war vet. He’s got scars all over, it won’t weird me out.”

I’m sure it’s nothing compared to what I did to Emily, but I don’t bother arguing. “All right. Come on in.”

He follows me into the warm little house. Emily steps out front, holding a plate of blueberry muffins, which I’ve gathered are her traditional gift for… well, for any time a gift is required, really.

“Emily,” I whisper. My heart leaps as I catch proper sight of her, then turn to her, just brushing my hand across her perfect cheek. Her skin is as soft as a cloud.

Jared coughs.

“Em, this is Jared… my…”

“Fellow werewolf?” he suggests. “Presumable distant cousin?”

I settle for, “New brother.”

He grins and ruffles my cropped short hair. “Always wanted a brother.”

I fix him with a grim look and he drops his hands to his sides, still smiling, teasing. “Jared, my imprint Emily.”

He nods. “Nice to meet you.”

“Nice to meet you too.” She turns, carefully, towards me. Jared has a perfect view of the right side of her face.

He doesn’t flinch, doesn’t wince, just says, “Hey, those muffins smell great.”

Em rolls her eyes and hands one over. “Crazy boys. You eat like wolves.”

Then we all crack up.