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The Lonely Wolf

Summary:
To phase the first time: disorienting. Horrible. Terrifying. Painful. To become a monster: sickening. Strange. Agonizing. Estranging. This we know from Jacob. Must it not have been so much worse to be Sam? He did it all... and he did it all alone. A story in the perspective of the first of our beloved werewolves, Sam Uley. From shortly before the time of his first phase to his marriage to Emily Young.


Notes:
I disclaim. Add the story to your favorites! Just do it, people.


41. Chapter 41

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Jared goes to school the next day. I worry, of course. He’s so new… his control can’t be good enough. I’m really not sure he should be in that building with a bunch of defenseless kids… but then again, he needs to go to school. I’m not going to let this interfere with his education.

The werewolf gene has destroyed one life. It’s not getting another. I’ve given into it, forfeited what I wanted for what it gave me, and I’m actually pretty happy.

Yet I don’t want this to take his entire future over. Jared’s options are going to remain open, even if it means I have to spend the entire day phased and lurking in the trees around the school so I can hear it if someone starts to scream.

I don’t, fortunately.

I also don’t hear Jared come out of school and phase like I told him too. I start to worry when I see the last of the teachers leave the building. Where is he?

Uh-oh. Maybe he phased and hurt someone during the day and now he’s somewhere in the woods, thinking wolf. I can see that happening.

No, he’s nowhere in my thoughts.

I run along the road, as close as I can get without revealing my presence, and sniff.

I catch a whiff of Jared by a random house, and then all of a sudden I’m hearing his thoughts in a jumble.

Oh God angel love how could I have missed it for so long everything changed gravity moves I love her my God I love her Kim how could I not even have known her name when it’s perfect Kim I love you Kim and two days, just two days until our date our first date the first out of forever oh…

Jared, where were you?

I had to walk Kim home.

You… I freeze. I’d been running towards the direction of his frazzled mind, but when the realization hits me, of course, I become a statue. You imprinted.

Yeah. Oh, Sam, she’s so beautiful.

I see her face, through his eyes. Although her features are somewhat plain, her eyes too small and her nose too big, her skin sparkles in his memories. The tiny smile she’s wearing is perfect, makes him happier than anything else in the world.

I’m ashamed of it, especially since Jared can see, but jealousy lances through me. I will never make Emily smile like that.

It’s all right, Sam. I understand why you’re so… Now I know why you did what you did. Now… I’m sorry, that you’ll never have this.

I’m… I’m glad you’re happy. Just be very careful, all right?

His thoughts are resigned and sure as he says, Yes. I will be. I promise.

Thanks. I wouldn’t want you to…

Yeah.

So what went on?

Well, I stared at her like an imbecile for a couple of seconds, and then the teacher yelled at us. I got… mad. But Kim told me to sit down, so I sat. Good thing, too.

I can see his arms shake in the memory. Yeah.

After class, I asked her for her name. I… she knows who I am, but I didn’t know her. I was so ashamed. But she didn’t seem too hurt. I was glad about that… and then I asked her if she wanted to go out on Friday. She said she’d love to.

My jaw stretches into a grin. Congratulations!

I can have patrol off, right?

Of course.

Thanks, man.

Good luck.