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The Lonely Wolf

Summary:
To phase the first time: disorienting. Horrible. Terrifying. Painful. To become a monster: sickening. Strange. Agonizing. Estranging. This we know from Jacob. Must it not have been so much worse to be Sam? He did it all... and he did it all alone. A story in the perspective of the first of our beloved werewolves, Sam Uley. From shortly before the time of his first phase to his marriage to Emily Young.


Notes:
I disclaim. Add the story to your favorites! Just do it, people.


8. Chapter 8

Rating 5/5   Word Count 562   Review this Chapter

“Absolutely not. Don’t be stupid, Quil. I am in love with Leah, and that’s not going to change.”

He sighs and looks at me. “It is the law, Sam. You may not tell her. You may not reveal the secrets of the tribe to any outsider.”

“She’s got the blood, hasn’t she…” I guess. After all, the Clearwaters were one of the oldest families on the reservation, like the Uleys and the Blacks. And the Atearas, for that matter. Leah and I are related, to one degree or another, but not closely enough that our marriage would be in any way incestuous. We’d discussed it.

“Yes. But that doesn’t make a difference. Women do not phase. She may be a descendant, but she is not your mate.”

“No, she’s my fiancée,” I state flatly. I don’t want a mate. I am not a wolf. I’m a man, and I want a woman- no, I want Leah. I want the one I love, not some beast, some stranger, some relationship driven by the strange urges of my monstrous new form.

“That is a human word, Sam Uley.”

“And I’m a human.”

“Not entirely. Not anymore. And this is one part of your life you must let the wolf rule.”

“I don’t have to let it do anything!” I protest furiously. I am trying very hard to control the shaking in my arms.

“No, you don’t. It will simply do whatever it pleases. The wolf inside you will not ask for your permission, Sam Uley. It will do what it wants, when it wants. And when it finds the one it wants, you will break Leah’s heart- like this.” He snaps his fingers, and I growl.

“Get the hell out of my house. I’m not leaving the woman I love because of your stupid superstitions.”

He stands and walks out. “You don’t have to take my warning. And I promise not to say I told you so.”

“How generous of you.”

“Sam… just consider it.”

“No.”

His eyes are warm and soft, like he really believes this, like he’s totally determined. “Sam…”

“Out.”
“I’m an elder of the tribe. I don’t have to leave, do I?”

“It’s my house. You’re on my property. I have every right to call the police on you for trespassing.”
“No one’s going to arrest a nice old man for paying a nice young man a visit. Sam…”

“No. Leave. Go away. Let me be. Let me deal with this on my own, Quil. I can do it.”

He sighs. “Sam, you need help. No one can bear this burden alone. It’s not any kind of shame, Sam…”

Okay, excessive use of my name. Disturbing. “Out.”

He leaves without further protest. I watch him leave and then, without bothering to think over what he’s said, run upstairs. I keep my mind blank as I take off my clothes, changing into soft pajamas, and pulling the covers over myself. I fall asleep. I can’t think about this.

Maybe because I know he’s right.

But I love Leah. And that is what matters. Quil doesn’t understand that, or he wouldn’t ask me to leave her. Nothing could make me do that.