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Old Existence

FOURTH IN THE FATE'S COURSE SERIES. How are we supposed to go back to living as if she had never touched our hearts, and our lives? oldexistancebannersmall.tiff

Surprisingly, I actually have a plot planned out. Weird! I understand every song is Linkin Park... I'm OBSESSED! <3 LP

8. Chapter 8

Rating 3.9/5   Word Count 1436   Review this Chapter

Bella's POV

I wanted to see my mother, but I wasn't sure where she was now. Had Phil switched teams? I couldn't call her; she thought I was dead. Gone.

I was at a motel in Phoenix, after searching the towns I knew she had resided in. Apparently she and Phil had returned to the Valley of the Sun after my death.

I was standing in front of the bathroom mirror, gazing at my washed out reflection, due to the fluorescent lights.

"Mom," I whispered, biting my lip.

Lizzie had told me right after I left my family's house, to go to my mom, and even if I was a little late, I was coming to see her. That wouldn't change anything right?

I grabbed my small bag and checked out, pacing across the black pavement towards my car, eager to see my mother. I had a light jacket on, and sweats, not exposing my skin but keeping to the shadows anyways.

A sweet breeze wafted across the parking lot and I stopped short. I rocked back on my heels and turned slowly around. There was nothing amiss that my sharp eyes could spot and I narrowed them menacingly, at whatever was watching.

Be warned, I thought, before slipping silently into my car and feeling the engine purr to life.


I was at the hospital. When my mother hadn't been at the house, I had asked the neighbors. Apparently, the day I would have been here if I had decided to drive to my mother like Lizzie recommended, my mother and Phil were in a car accident.

So here I stood, as the automatic doors thrummed and opened to me, letting me step through them and another pair of automatic doors. The hot air of Phoenix was soon left behind as I stepped into the lobby. I walked quickly across the flecked tiles and leaned over the counter to talk quietly to the large lady with her thin brown hair pulled back.

"I'm looking for Renee and Phil Dwyer please." I said in my glorious voice.

The heavy-set woman lifted her wrinkly eyelids to peer up at me through the mascara caked lashes.

"Renee and Phil Dwyer?" She pronounced slowly, her fake, long nails taping annoyingly on the keys.

"Yes, ma'am."

As she waited for the computer to load -- the thing was wheezing terribly hard and I feared it would implode -- her sneering face appraised me, and a mole above her lip twitched.

I felt like vomiting and looked away focusing on the faux leather, sea-green chairs arranged in front of a tv that was showing the news, the volume turned down. Nothing on the news was very interesting. Just comments on the upcoming election.

My acute ears heard the computer finally stop it's strangled breathing, and I feared it had finally passed on.

I turned back to the lady and leaned in slightly, my body angled away from hers while my head was tilted towards her. An awkward position.

"Dwyer?" I reminded her and she turned to the computer, a snooty look on her face. She scratched her sagging cheek with one of her long talons, and hen spoke.

"Third Floor. The receptionist up there will have their room numbers."

I thanked her and she just sniffed.

Giving up on this woman, I floated towards the elevators, pressing the plastic 3 button gently, as not to jam it all the way through the wall. It lit up happily, and I smiled, thinking of Alice. Then I stiffened. Alice.

Would they be furious? Oh god. I covered my face in my hands and growled softly.

My phone vibrated and I tugged it out of my pocket regretfully.

Edward. I flipped it open.

"Hello?" I squeaked.

A sigh that I recognized oh so well.

"Bella, we're not mad. I just wanted to say I'm so sorry," Edward said softly. Gently.

"Thanks," I whispered, relief in my voice.

"Call me later.... If you want to talk," He added, not wanting to force me.

"'Kay." My own answer surprised me.

See? You can get over this. Lizzie urged faintly. I smiled.

"I love you."

"I miss you so much."


"I love you. Bye."

I flipped my phone closed as the ding filled the small elevator and the doors rolled open slowly.

Walking towards the desk, I noted this woman sat in a nurse's uniform, looking as though she were filling in.

"Hello?" I sounded confused.

The nurse laughed lightly. "I'm filling in..." she paused and her face fell slightly. "Our employee was in a car reck with her husband. We're filling in for her when we have a break." She shook herself slightly. "Who are you visiting?"

"Renee Dwyer?"

"Ah," the lady took her hands from the keyboard, and stood up. "Renee is who works here."

"Renee?" I was amazed my mother was able to stay in a job in a desk like this.

The lady smiled understandingly. "Yes, she wouldn't have stayed satisfied here, if she hadn't felt the need to comfort the grieving. You see..." The nurse lowered her voice and tilted her head towards me. Her scent was quite sweet, just like her personality. I suddenly realized how long it had been since I had been this close to a human. "Renee had a daughter who died at eighteen, and she's very good at comforting others who have lost loved ones."

My face felt oddly blank, and I blinked, then filled it with sorrow. It wasn't hard, remembering how I had caused her pain.

"Here we are." The nurse turned the handle to a room and beckoned me in.

"You're awake, Ren, darling?"

"Oh, thank you, Heidi," My mother's soft voice, gentle as wind murmured.

"Visitor, hon." She informed my mother before stepping out the door and closing it behind her.

I turned to my mother, not wanting to excite her. I decided to not speak at first.

I watched her wide eyes, as confusion filled them.

"Be---" she cut off, not wanting to say the name and feel the hurt. I knew what that was like.

"Sweetheart?" she settled on.

"Yes," I moved to her bedside and took her hand.

She asked no questions, and I answered none. I just held her hand, and watched her watch me.

"You look beautiful," she said once. I laughed softly, but offered nothing more.

She mentioned she loved the color of my eyes, and while I thought whether to tell her or not, I saw the answer in her eyes. She didn't want one. No explanation. Just the moment.

Her eyelids had been closed for several minutes, but I knew she wasn't sleeping.

Several more passed, and I felt her heartbeat and breathing slow. I watched calmly as I felt her hand slack in mine.

"Bella," she breathed before she drifted.

I sat there for awhile before my stomach clenched at something I hadn't noticed before. I could smell the blood, on the inside. But not on the right inside. Something was wrong. My stomach proceeded to nosedive to the floor, then bounce up into my throat, making it feel tight. Internal bleeding.

I kissed her forehead, and slipped out of the room, leaving her in peace.

Heidi informed me of my mother's condition, which was actually better than Phil's. Phil hadn't regained consciousness since the crash. I felt horrible. If I had been here like Lizzie had told me.... I would listen to her from now on, no matter what.

Thanking Heidi, I made my way out of the hospital, so stressed that when the rude lady threw a sour glance my way, I returned it vampire style, leaving her cowering.

Before I knew where I was going, I found myself climbing Camelback mountain, and a minute later I was on the top, far off the trail, watching the city in the shade of one of the large boulders.

I sat there sobbing, dry sobs desperately coaxing tears to show.

My eyes suddenly felt wet, and before I knew it, foreign but so desperately needed tears were flowing down my cheeks. They froze slightly on my cold cheeks, at first trickling until enough of the moisture built up to caress my skin flowing right from the inside of my eye to my chin, and sometimes dripping off my nose.

A cold body slid up behind me and wrapped her arms around my waist. Their blonde hair stuck to my wet cheek and I turned, to meet gold eyes. Friend. I sighed and hugged her back.

"Thanks," I murmured shakily.

"California." She whispered.