Everything I Can't Remember
Bella is changed, but something is wrong. The blinding pain that accompanies the change has wiped her memory completely. How will the Cullens catch a spooky newborn who doesn't remember them? How will Edward react? And how in the world is Bella going to handle herself?
2. Chapter 2
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As I extended myself, pushing my body faster, I must have tripped some speed switch, because I was suddenly a bullet, a bird, a rocket.
The speed was so intense, I doubted anyone could detect more than a blur of my form as I flew across the ground.
Even more amazing, I flitted easily over fallen trees, rocks, roots, things that should have sent me sprawling.
Wait, what? Why did I feel like this speed, this grace, was wrong?
That I should be very careful because more than likely I would trip and fall.
Suddenly, something flashed before my mind’s eye, countless times that something caught my foot, and the ground flew up to meet my face.
Then, during one of the flashes, something cold and hard caught me around the middle, saving me from a nasty bump.
A ghostly chuckle sounded in my ears, sweet and gentle.
I turned toward it, but the memory faded.
I realized I hadstopped and was standing alone amongst wide, tall trees that smelled of wet, growing, and even a little mold.
I had memories.
I was unsure where they had come from.
Were they mine? Of, course, they had to be.
They were so short and fleeting. Were there more?
I pondered this, but became more and more aware of the burning pain that was building in my throat and moving to my stomach.
I gasped and doubled over. It was getting worse.
I remembered the world of pain I had just left and dreaded its return.
Suddenly, a scent drifted to my nostrils. It was sweet, not in the way the boy’s was, but sweet and alluring in a way that made my mouth water.
I knew instinctively that if I followed this scent, the burning would abate.
I threw myself forward, running forward faster than ever, driven on by need and instinct.
A deer came into view.
She was standing among a thinning in the trees, head down among the foliage.
With no thought as to why or why not, propelled forward by he terrible burning, I leapt at the deer.
She jerked her head up and began to bound away. No!
Now I was truly all instinct.
I was chasing my prey, and it would not escape.
Suddenly, she darted to the right, throwing me completely.
I had been but ten yards behind her, but now I was shooting in the opposite direction.
Scrambling and clawing with my hand and feet, I struggled to right my path.
Succeeding, I poured on the speed, following that delicious scent.
I saw the doe once more, bounding forward in those quick, leaping deer strides.
Ha, there was no way she would escape me this time. No!
She pulled the same trick, only the opposite direction.
A snarl burst from me, instinctive and feral. No!
I wanted, needed, this deer!
Once again, I hurtled straight ahead, grappling with my momentum.
Once again, I turned, barely, and returned to my frantic pursuit.
As I approached her unprotected back, I tried to be wily this time, anticipate her pivot; however, I felt my thoughts slid away as I anticipated jumping on her back, feeling her struggle beneath me, sinking my teeth into her warm neck …
I didn’t realize it at the time, my feral side being so new and powerful, but a very small, overshadowed part was screaming that there was something desperately wrong.
I should not wish for the death of this deer!
What was going on?
This wasn’t natural, not even close. This was insane!
But all I knew was that I wanted her death.
I wanted this deer’s life.
Spurred on by my all encompassing need, I raced along, trying to get a grip on her, but she kept on dodging and pivoting.
I became more and more frustrated.
How cowardly, to run and flee!
The deer was fast, but I was so much faster!
If she would just flee in a straight line, I would have her in five seconds flat! My snarls grew louder as I missed again and again.
Try as I might, I could not concentrate enough to anticipate her movements.
She was fleeing prey, and I the predator.
Finally, after a few more tries, she stumbled on one of her quick, last second changes in direction.
She had managed to turn enough that I still hurtled past her, my clawing hands just barely brushing her mottled brown fur as she struggled to remain upright.
Her right fore hoof had buckled, and her front legs touched the ground with her knees while her hind legs scrambled in the leaves on the wet forest floor.
For only a second did she fumble, and she was again in full flight mode, but that second was all I needed.
In that second I gathered myself and launched my body onto the doe’s back.
The impact drove her to the ground, throwing me off as she fell.
I flew into a tree, snapping the foot think trunk completely in two.
For a spilt second, I gasped at the ruins of the tree that I had just demolished without even feeling it.
I should not be alive.
A few ribs should be broken and me unconscious and bleeding.
I held my hand up and examined my arms, looking for the deep cuts that should have laced my arms.
Something was wrong.
I was wrong.
But then, that think, compelling scent struck me as I gasp in shock.
The scent flowed over my tongue and drove absolutely every other thought from my mind.
Whipping around, I saw the doe. Our fall had broken two of her legs.
The right front cannon bone was protruding, having pierced the skin.
Blood was seeping out around the bone, wetting her fur.
My eyes found the wound, and all I saw was red. My throat burned and my stomach groaned.
Was it possible to want something so much when it sickened you to your core?
Apparently so. I was on her before she could take another breath, sinking my teeth into the flesh just above the wound.
The most satisfying, delicious liquid flowed over my tongue and dimmed the terrible, grating pain in my abdomen and head.
I drank deeply, a terminal man at the newly found spring of life.
The taste was unbelievable, indescribable.
My eyes closed and I surrendered to it.
It was all I need, all I wanted.
Warm and intoxicating, I stayed in my place until the flow slowed to a trickle, then switched to her throat for the last few mouthfuls.
For a minute I pulled at the bloodless corpse before sitting back, trying to pull myself back into some semblance of a normal state of mind.
However, just at that moment, movement in a low hanging branch caught my eye.
It was a lynx, crouched there, staring with his yellow eyes.
For a full minute, we froze, locked in one another’s gaze, two predators, sizing up the other.
He must have been waiting to ambush a deer foolish enough to pass under his branch.
Suddenly, the cat bolted, leaping form the tree and disappeared into the bushes. Once again, my mind blanked and I leapt up in pursuit without another thought. After a short chase (cats are sprinters not stayers, like the deer), I grabbed one of its back legs, then promptly dropped it as the lynx doubled back on itself, swiping at me which screaming, literally screaming in shrill high pitched tones of furious fear. I jumped away and snarled back. The lynx back itself against a wide tree, steeling himself to defend his life. For some reason, this thrilled me. I felt something like adrenaline surge through me, but ten times as powerful. I settled into a crouch and began to circle him.
This felt so right, like this was my reason for being, fighting one on one for survival.
His yellow-brown fur bristled out at all angels, and I saw it, the opening.
Darting in, I batted at him with a clawed hand, knocking him off balance.
I was at this throat before he could react.
For a moment, I felt disappointed. He hadn’t even been able to fight back.
We might both have been predators, but he could not compete at all. His blood was ten, no a hundred times better than the deer.
If I could never imagine the taste of the deer, then the lynx was pure heaven.
Thicker ... richer... just much much more than the deer. As I sat back, this time I felt regret.
This creature was a worthy opponent.
He had fought back, but had fallen to my need.
I had not wanted to kill this creature, this noble denizen of the forest.
My revulsion for what I had done swelled now that the immediate need was gone.
I did not want to kill. I promised myself I would not let this happen again.
Stroking his fur, I remembered the sheer force of my thirst, whatever it was.
As I gazed into the sightless eyes of my opponent, I knew I had to try, and, if this was the only way to live, then I would try to make it as painless as possible, and as few and far between as I could manage.
I would control myself.
No sooner had I completed my though then another deep leapt through the trees in front of me.
As I sat back after I finished this one, I grimaced. Clearly, this would be much harder than I expected.