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She crashed Life with a Broken Heart

Rated for a death. Charlie's death spins Bella out of control. She leaves everything behind.. but sometimes it's just not enough. "Sometimes a wolf runs and hides." R&R. The end will make you grip your seat in anticipation.

Oh! Before I forget... There’s this song that helped me with this fic… listen to it while you read, it’s so sad. You can let go – Crystal Shawanda

1. Chapter 1

Rating 5/5   Word Count 6794   Review this Chapter

It was not unnatural to see an overcast sky. For the past few months, the weather had been mimicking Bella’s mood, which was completely dead. No glimpse of the sun in sight. Bella didn’t even look towards the sky anymore; it was too depressing to look into that global mirror. As she came out of the school, students were rushing past her. They took notice of her now, as she did to them. She had seen a pigment of the sun in her best friend, but today it was different. She had no reason to feel this hollow.

Climbing into the cab of her truck, Bella threw her book bag on the seat next to her. Taking in a long breath, she turned the truck into reverse and left the parking lot. Her mind was at ease; she was glad she didn’t have to work that evening. She could use the entire afternoon to be with Jacob. She didn’t even go home. Her thoughts were on La Push as she drove the 12 miles to Jacob’s house.

Jacob was there as she pulled up in front of the small home. Bella noticed something hiding behind his smile. Jumping out of her truck, Bella walked towards him. She had to look up at his face when she asked.

“What’s wrong, Jake?” Her voice wavered. Jacob’s eyes were bloodshot. “Jake?” Jacob opened his mouth, but nothing came out. He tried again.

“It’s Charlie…” His voice was barely more than a whisper. He continued to talk, but Bella didn’t hear anything. She already knew. The rest of her heart broke and she fell to the ground.

Eight months later – August

Jacksonville, Florida

The sand was the perfect temperature on her bare feet. Bella had taken off her sandals and threw them to the side. She stood watching the ocean as it calmly shifted its direction. Bella took in calm breaths. The sun had set, and she was the only one around for about a half mile – Some kids were having a bonfire along the beach, but they paid no attention to her.

A red Volkswagen Jetta sat about a quarter mile behind her. She had pulled over on her way home from the library; a decision she made at the exact moment she drove by. The way the moon glinted off the water made her think of Forks. The ocean looked the exact same back home. Here in

Florida, it welcomed her with a cool caress, as she slipped her feet into the water. Her head fell back as the memories came back to her. She wished she could go back to before she even moved to Washington. She would have been somewhat happier. She would have been safe and happy knowing that her father was still alive, not lying in a casket in the ground of Forks Memorial Graveyard. If she had never left to Washington, she would have never met him, and she wouldn’t have her heart shattered and unable to correct itself. Now he was gone, probably happy knowing she was ‘happy’. Did he even know what had happened? Was Alice still watching her?

Sighing lightly, Bella straitened her back and slid her shirt off. Throwing it on the sand with her sandals, she unzipped her shorts and let them fall as well. Standing in just a bikini – it was much to hot to wear a one piece- she waded deeper into the water. Bella groaned in pleasure as the water enveloped her. She couldn’t stop herself from going completely under, and she stayed under until her lungs felt ready to explode. Bella came up for air. She smiled as she pushed back her hair away from her face. Looking towards the beach, her skin leaped when she saw two figures standing on the shore.

“Bella?” A familiar voice asked.

“I came to be alone.” She called. She swam closer. Justin and Matt stood there watching with fascination in their faces. “So you can leave.” She smiled, but they couldn’t see. Matt bounced on the balls of his feet.

“Watcha doing, baby?” His voice was seductive. Bella didn’t answer. “Are you…” He looked at her pile of clothes and then back to Bella.

“Maybe.” Bella couldn’t help but toy with his mind, if she didn’t act like herself, her past wouldn’t haunt her as much. Matt’s answering growl was playful. He threw his shirt on the sand, kicked off his sandals, and leapt into the water. Bella looked into the depths of the water, waiting for him to come up.

“Why are you here?” she asked Justin.

“We thought you might be here, so we came to check. We thought we’d have a little bonfire, that alright?” He didn’t make any move to join them in the water.

“That’s alright, Justin, I suppose.” She laughed. The laugh ended when she felt Matt’s fingers sliding up her hips. She slid under the water.

Justin stood on the sand waiting, he had his long blonde hair tied back in a ponytail, and he was sweating badly, but the thought of joining those two again made him think twice. She heard them laughing as they both came up for air. Bella was holding on to him as if she thought he would turn into someone else. Justin always knew she hid something, but it was hard to dig deep into her true thoughts.

“Those stay on!” Bella screeched. Justin rolled his eyes and turned his head away. None of them saw who watched from the trees back behind the beach.

Bella smiled at Matt, he had been a huge asset to her survival in the past eight months. Of course she didn’t love him, because she did not have the ability to love, but she cared and was thankful to him. So, in turn she let him be with her. She had begun to actually like him, and could see him maybe – just maybe- help to tie her heart back together again. Bella reached out and wiped a smudge off of Matt’s tanned face. His dirty blonde hair fell in his eyes, which were staring at her intently. He leaned in and kissed her.

Two of the people who were at the bonfire down the beach had started to make their way towards the three of them. Bella noticed and began to swim back towards the shore, Matt following close behind. She smiled when she recognized the newcomers.

“Anne!” Bella grinned, standing up and wading back onto the beach. She shivered and bounced on the balls of her feet as the cool air prickled her wet skin.

“Hey, Bella!” Anne bounced up and hugged her. Two cold hands rested on her shoulders and Bella looked up.

“I’ll get you a blanket.” Matt whispered in her ear from behind. Bella nodded.

“You guys didn’t tell us you were having a party.” Anne pouted. Michelle came up behind her, smiling.

“Well. It didn’t really start off with anyone but me.” Bella smiled sheepishly. “Then Justin and Matt showed up, and now you.”

“Well, it’s a party now!” Michelle giggled, pulling out her cell phone. Bella knew that it wouldn’t be long before the entire senior class showed up. She groaned on the inside. Bella guessed it didn’t really matter; Bella would be off at college in less than a month and would never see any of these people again. This had its upside and downside, of course. These two girls were the most popular girls at school, and they had taken Bella under their wings the first day there. At this time Bella was still completely beat up about past events, but Anne was there; she had lost both her parents in a car crash 5 years ago. And, because Bella became friends with Anne and Michelle, she had become friends with the entire class. Bella knew the reasons behind their friendship-- it was the same back in Forks—but she liked the feeling of people looking at her. She had never felt this way. Usually the idea of being alone pleased her, but not this time.

A warm, fuzzy blanket wrapped itself around her and she smiled. She bent down and picked up her clothes in one hand. In the other, she wrapped her arm around Matt’s waist.

“Let’s go sit down.” She smiled. Matt followed her to the tree logs that had been left behind by other parties like this. Someone from a while back had sawed off the top half, making a bench-like structure. Pulling on her pants and throwing the rest of her clothes on the ground, Bella curled up on top of the log. Matt sat down beside her.


I sat kneeling on the moist leaves that had fallen from the branches above us. This is not what I had pictured seeing when we came here. I wasn’t even sure what I had seen, but I had a blinding feeling that Bella needed me. From what I could see, hidden in the trees as I was, she looked pretty happy to me. But, I had played the same tricks before. Bella was hiding it inside. She had changed her entire being just so that she could wrap that barbed wire fence around her soul—keeping everything that had happened in the late months from attacking her.

Jasper placed his hand on my forearm.

“Should we go and talk to her or just watch?” His voice was low and solid. I looked at him, but I made no expression with my face.

“She looks happy…” I started to say.

“Yes, but she doesn’t look like Bella.”

“I know.” I took in an unneeded breath. “Let’s wait a while longer, though.” I leaned my forehead against Jaspers and we sat there –hands entwined—watching what would happen to Bella next.


Bella’s hand gripped my sleeve. She was rocking back and forth, taking in short jagged breaths. Her eyes were closed in deep concentration and pain. I wanted to reach out and wrap my arms around her, but for some reason I just sat there, my back straight, looking ahead of me. I couldn’t believe this was happening. I turned to look at Bella again, her tears had turned her face a red yellow colour, but it made her look even more beautiful. UGH I wanted to hit myself. I was thinking about Bella’s beauty when Charlie Swan, her father, was dying in the other room.

“I can’t… I can’t…” Bella kept chanting over and over.

“It’s going to be okay, Bella.” I whispered, rubbing her back.

“I can’t live without him, Jake.” She whimpered.

“I know…” I whispered, pulling her towards me. She leaned into my chest, but her entire body was tense and shaking. She sucked in gasps of air.

“I don’t understand… I just don’t… I can’t.” she moaned between breaths. “Why would he do this to me now?”

“I’m sure Charlie doesn’t mean to… I mean… he… it was so sudden…” I wanted to just choke myself. I was making it worse. For the first time since Bella had been around me, I had absolutely no idea what to say to make it better.

“Not my dad…” She sucked in a long and painful breath. “God! Why would God do this to me? Does He not see what’s happening? Everyone I love leaves me… GASP… I don’t know what I did wrong…” Bella looked at her open hands as if they were covered in blood. I had no idea what to say. I didn’t even believe in God. I just patted her back and cried with her.

“You didn’t do anything wrong…” I whispered to her as she fell into a nightmare filled slumber in my arms.


Five more people showed up in the expanse of 10 minutes. They were juniors, so I didn’t know their names, but they knew mine. Each of them greeted me when they arrived. I nodded at them in turn.

I took in a breath. It was hot under the blanket now that I had dried off, so I let it fall around me. Justin stood up from where he sat on the sand.

“I’m going to get logs to start the fire, anyone wanna help?” He hinted to the group. I smiled and stood up to join him. A couple other people did as well. Justin smiled down at me.

“Let’s go then.” I joked, heading away from the group. I could hardly see in the dark, but Justin came up beside me with a flashlight. I nudged him as I walked, and he laughed. He tilted his head towards the trees and I followed him towards a rather large log. I noticed the driftwood as we approached and it made me think of Jacob. No, I told myself, this isn’t the time to think of old memories. It’s time to make new ones. I fixed a smile on my face and walked around the large branch. I started to reach down to pick it up from one end.

“Watch out!” Justin warned. “There could be spiders under there.” I dropped the branch and checked my hands for eight-legged creatures. I felt like they were crawling all over me. I heard Justin chuckling and looked up at him. I glared, but he couldn’t see.

“You idiot!” I pouted. “Throw me the flashlight.” He did as I asked. I pointed the light at the log, looking for my foes. I was relieved only to see plants growing on it, and not spiders crawling. I let out a breath of air and threw the flashlight back. Justin caught it in one hand. We both picked up an end and made our way back towards the others. It was heavier than I thought. We had barely gotten very far before I heard cackling in the trees right behind me. I looked back, but didn’t see anything.

“What?” Justin asked.

“I heard something…” I started. I shook my head and looked back at Justin. “Let’s go”. We started moving again. When we got back, I noticed that Anne had taken my place beside Matt on the bench. She looked up as we arrived, whispered something to Matt, and then got up to talk to Michelle. I didn’t think any of it. Anne had been friends with Matt before I even arrived in Jacksonville. Justin led me to a clear spot of sand and we dropped the branch. Some of the other people had brought some more over. We had a pretty sizable pile. Justin bent down and started to light a match. I looked around and noticed that the group had grown since. I made my way back to Matt, and cuddled up next to him. Someone had brought a keg with them, and Matt passed me a plastic cup full of beer. He kissed me on the cheek. I smiled and took a sip—it hadn’t been the first time I drank, but I hadn’t before I came here. I immediately spat it out.

“What the hell?!”

“What?” Matt asked, coming up from where he was kissing my neck.

“This tastes disgusting…” I said. “Whose is it?”

“Mine.” Andrew said, coming to stand in front of me. “I got it in Canada. It’s better up there.” He smiled down at me, making me feel uncomfortable.

“When did you go up to Canada?” I asked, raising my eyebrows. Andrew laughed.

“Spring break.” He laughed harder at my reaction. “It’s still good. If you don’t want it, give it back.” He reached out for the drink. I moved my hand away.

“I didn’t say I wasn’t going to drink it.” I said, smiling. He broke out in a huge grin and started to sit down on the other side of me. Uh oh... I thought. Just in time, Justin came up from behind and plopped himself down beside me. I looked up at Andrew, he looked pretty taken aback, but he went away. “Thanks.” I mouthed to Justin. He smiled. I took a large swallow from my drink. I noticed that Justin was only drinking water, and I wondered why. I didn’t ask, though. “I see you got the fire going.” I looked towards the flames.

“Yea. Pretty isn’t it?” He said. I nodded. We sat in silence. I watched as more and more people came. So much for alone time. Each of them smiled at me as they came. It made me wonder if I was talked about more than I should be.


This was definitely not our Bella. Since when did she drink? I watched as she finished her first drink and asked for another. She must be trying to keep something down, to forget about something terrible.

“Who’s the blonde?” Jasper asked from beside me. I squeezed his fingers.

“A new love perhaps.” I whispered. “What do you think we should do?” I looked into his eyes, the shadows from the trees made them look darker than they truly were.

“I’m not sure. I don’t think it’s a good idea to go over there, what would her reaction be?” Jasper said. I raised my fingers to my forehead and tried to think, to see anything. I couldn’t see—it was like a cloud of thick smoke covered my vision. I told this to Jasper. “It will come to you.”

“We’re not going over there, though.” I whispered, digging into my pockets.

“What are we going to do then?” Jaspers face was close to mine, filled with concern for Bella. I pulled the cell phone out of my pocket.

“We’re going to call Edward.”

8 months before…

Forks Memorial Hospital

A large machine beeps in the corner, measuring heart beats. A nurse stands at the foot of the bed, staring at the man. There’s no way he could still be alive, but he was holding himself conscious, alive.

Chief Charlie Swan had gotten into an accident that morning…

The rain came down like sleet as he chased the Ford pickup truck down the highway. Charlie had been on his way to the station when he saw the truck run a red light – the only light in town. At first he wasn’t going to bother, but he knew that duty called. He turned on his siren and headed up behind the truck. Believing that the truck would stop, Charlie was surprised when it sped up. Rolling his eyes, Charlie headed after it. Picking up his radio, Charlie said “Base, I’ve got a runner… A blue ’96 Ford pick-up.”

Okay Chief, do you think you can handle it?”

Oh yeah, he’s gotta run out of gas… or give up sometime. I’ll report if I need backup.”

Charlie followed the truck out onto the highway, but it wasn’t giving up. Instead, it picked up speed.

Jones, check if there have been any reports of stolen vehicles in the past while.”

Yes, Sir.”

The truck took them around a bend. Pieces of small cliffs were on either side of them, and at random intervals there were spaces where you could see the ocean. At any other time, Charlie would have noticed the sheer beauty of what the view, but he kept his face on the truck. He could see two people inside the cab.

Come on.” Charlie drummed his fingers on the steering wheel. Someone on a red motorcycle flew by them going the other direction. Charlie shook his head. “Stupid kids these day- gonna get himself killed.” Charlie was starting to get annoyed. All he could think about was getting this over with so he could go back to the station.

They went around another curve and the truck swerved quickly. There was a car stalled in the middle of the lane. The truck got into the opposite lane to get out of the way, but Charlie had his mind on home and didn’t notice as quickly. He swerved his wheels to the side; the wet road took his skidding

to the other side of the road. He couldn’t take control of the wheel and the front end of the cruiser hit full speed into the cliff.

Chief, I’ve got a missing blue Ford… Chief... Sir?”

The chief was taken to the hospital, pretty beat up, but they were sure he was going to be 100 percent okay. They just needed to wait until he woke up to be sure. Two hours later and there was still no response. Chief Swan’s daughter and friends were already waiting out in the waiting room. The doctor ordered a cat-scan and left the room. The test was taken, and 3 hours later, Charlie Swan still hadn’t woken up.

The nurse had gone out and told Isabella, his daughter, what was happening. She was almost in hysterics, and her friend was trying to calm her down.

“I’m sorry. We have found a blood clot in his brain. We’re prepping him for surgery now.” The nurse said. Isabella just nodded. She didn’t speak.

The surgery wasn’t a success, they had gotten the clot out, but he had so many injuries and lost so much blood in the accident that they were sure he wasn’t going to make it. There just wasn’t enough blood at Forks Memorial to save him, especially with his blood type. He was conscious now, but he wouldn’t last more than a few minutes. He shouldn’t even be alive now. He could only be holding on for one reason.

The nurse walked around the bed and stood next to Mr. Swan. He opened his eyes and looked at her. He groaned…


Bella came rushing into the room when the nurse told her what had happened. Tears poured down her cheeks. She stood beside his pillow and took his hand in hers.

“Bella...” He breathed.

“I’m here, Dad. I’m here.” She choked between sobs. She squeezed his hand and she breathed in a loud sob. She bent down and crawled onto the bed with him. “I love you so much, Dad.” He didn’t answer, his heart beat slowed. She wiped at her eyes.

“… too, Bel-“He whispered. She laughed between sobs and kissed his cheeks. She could see how fragile he looked. She remembered as a child how she thought of him as the strongest man alive. Of course that changed when she met Edward. He was in so much pain.

“Uh-hg. Dad... “She whispered. He lightly squeezed her hand- it was all the strength he had left. Bella said the only thing she could. “Its okay, Daddy…” She whispered in his ear. “It’s okay… You can let go now…”She was shaking with sadness. “Thank you, Daddy. For being here for me all this time. You never left me. You always wanted me since the day I was born. I’m so sorry I held back, because… daddy… I needed you bad. Thank you for loving me.” Bella held back the heartbreaking scream of anguish. She looked into her fathers eyes, they were so far away, but he managed a smile. She leaned in and kissed him again. “You can let go now, Dad. Your little girl is ready to do this on her own.” Bella whispered in his ear again. “It’s gonna be a little bit scary, but I want you to know. I’ll be okay… You can let go.”



Drinking had made me tired, so I leaned my back up against Andrew’s shoulder; he had sat down where Matt had been. I turned my head to see where Matt had gone, and he was up by the keg talking to some other students. Justin was still on the other side of me. He reached down and lifted my bare feet into his lap. They were covered in sand. Twisting off the lid of his water bottle, he began to pour water on my feet, washing the sand off. I curled up my toes.

“That’s cold.” I giggled. He smiled without turning to look at me. Drying my feet with his sleeve, he dug into his pocket and pulled out a pen, beginning to doodle on the tops of my feet.


Matt stood staring into his cup of beer. He glanced up to where Bella sat giggling as Justin drew on her feet. He wasn’t that jealous.

“Hey.” Anne came up beside him and refilled her cup. She turned towards him, taking a sip. Matt nodded towards her. “So… Bella sure can get friendly with the guys don’t you think?”

“Friendly being the key word. I know they’re just friends…” Matt said, looking at Anne. She moved a bit closer.

“Uh huh, and you feel in no way suspicious that she might be cheating…” She raised her eye brows at the last word.

“Of all the things she could be doing, I know for a fact that she’s not cheating. I trust her. And I would never cheat on her. Never.”

“I know.” Anne smiled. “That’s why you’re so great.” She placed her hand on his shoulder. She leaned in and whispered in his ear. “Just keep an eye out… you know…” She breathed. Matt shrugged his shoulders. Turning his head he saw Bella looking at him, she smiled. He made his way back to her side, pushing Andrew out of the way, and sat down. He pulled Bella up into his lap. Bella leaned into him.


“What is it?” I asked when Justin let my foot free. Justin looked at her. He lifted his hand up and pulled the elastic out of his hair. His shoulder-length blonde hair fell into his face. Pushing it out of the way, he said

“A wolf… Because you seem like the kind of person who wants to run free.”

I turned by foot, and saw it. He had done an amazing job. I found it astonishing that he would draw such a thing. I smiled.

“Where did you get that idea?”

“I don’t know.” He said. He started to sit up. I reached out and grabbed his arm.

“Justin?” I said. He looked down at me.

“Wolves don’t always run free, Bella. Sometimes they run and hide. They scare easily. But, when they want to… they can be the strongest animal in the forest.” I let go of his arm. I wanted to cry. He was much more observant than I gave him credit for. His eyebrows came together, half of his mouth came

up in a smile and he walked away. I looked back down at my foot and made a mental note to get it done permanently tomorrow. It made me think of Jacob, but as quickly as the vision came, the wolf turned into a vampire. Vampires run free. That’s why they never choose to stay in one place; to become civil. It was in their nature to run, and damn they were the strongest creatures in the forest. Everywhere.

“Cryptic…” Matt whispered in my ear. He slid his fingers along my collarbone. I nodded. “He’s a strange guy isn’t he?”

“One of a kind.” I smiled; he bent down and kissed me. I turned my head and leaned my ear against his chest. He tightened his hold on me. We sat like this for a while. It gave me time to think. Someone was playing music full blast. I hadn’t listened to music in so long before I moved here that I barely recognized the band. If I had to guess I would say Simple Plan. I closed my eyes and let the memories of the past 8 months catch up with me. Who was I? What had I become? Is this the best for me? Questions came at me from every direction and I could feel them ripping me apart. I wrapped my arms around myself. I hadn’t done so in a long time. Matt squeezed my shoulder.

“I’ve got to use the washroom, baby.” He whispered in my ear. I sat up so he could go. He let me go and stood up. I watched him as he walked the distance to the outdoor washrooms down the beach. I rolled the blanket from before into a pillow and laid down on the bench. I could see the stars above me, mixed with the smoke coming from the fire. I took the time to listen to my breathing. In and out. My eyes drifted closed.


Emmett came up behind us, he didn’t bother sitting down.

“Is Edward coming?” Jasper asked, standing up. Emmett smiled.

“Yes. But, he’s in Brazil so it’s going to take him a while to catch a plane here. He told me to make sure nothing happened to Bella in that time period. He’d be here in an hour.” I looked up at the two of them.

“Did anyone else come with you?” I stood up and brushed the dirt off my jeans. Emmett rolled his lips.

“All of us, Carlisle said that we needed a change of scenery anyways. I hope we don’t stay here, because I can’t do the whole night crawling thing.” I smiled slightly and then turned to look at Bella’s group. Her new playmate had gone to the washroom a little ways away. I wondered what she saw in him. He was nothing like Edward. Maybe that was the point. “What’s up with her anyways?” Emmett asked. “She looks kind of drunk…”

“She is.” I said. I closed my eyes, letting my mind tell me what was going to happen. I felt Jasper grasp my hand.

“What is it?” His voice enveloped me. I sighed.

“It’s still all cloudy... Like water keeping it back from me. A daze almost.” I hit my fist against my forehead. “I don’t understand.”

“Maybe there’s a problem with your wires.” Emmett said. I opened my eyes and glared at him. I bit my lower lip.

“Carlisle has something to tell us, and I should tell him what’s happening” I said. “We better go… Emmett you should stay here and watch.” I said.

“She’ll be okay.” He huffed. “Look she fell asleep.” He pointed to the fire. “You’ll see if anything bad happens.”

I contemplated his words. “No… You should stay.” Emmett groaned but he nodded. He knew when to be sensible. “I don’t know what I’m going to see.”

“I could say the same thing… I should have brought Rose with me.”

JACOB POV Forks Washington 8 months prior

I stood there in the doorway, unable to move. I heard the heart monitor slow and then stop altogether. Just one long screeching sound in my ear. Bella still lay on the bed holding onto her father. He cheek was on his chest and it almost seemed as if she had fallen asleep. Events flashed before my eyes. Hospital attendants and doctors came rushing past me and into the room. They managed to talk Bella into releasing her father’s body. She just stood there watching them. She no longer cried. I walked forward and took her into my arms. She held onto me so tightly that it amazed me.

Three days later…

All of us showed up to the funeral. Sam, Jared, Quil, Embry, Seth, Paul and all the girls. Bella stood with Leah, her arm was wrapped tightly around her. I stood behind them. I knew that Leah was good as any other, better because she had gone through the same thing. Angela, Bella’s friend from school, was at her other side. Bella didn’t lean on either of them. She stood tall. The entire town of Forks and La push showed up for the funeral. Everyone was affected by Charlie’s passing. There was only one group of people missing. I couldn’t see them, but I could smell them all around me. They had been in town a couple of days. All of them. The pack and I had made sure that they wouldn’t make a surprise appearance. The Cullens had agreed. They were here, somewhere in the graveyard. I shifted my gaze around me. I could make out the shadow of two of them near a cluster of trees. The psychic and her mate. They looked sad and I knew deep down that they had every right to be here. The others must have been near by.

I watched as they lowered the coffin into the ground. He was really gone.



I opened my eyes when I felt someone staring at me. Justin was leaning over, blocking my vision. I sat up, rubbing my forehead.

“Almost thought you passed out from alcohol poisoning or something…” He sad, sitting down beside me. I smiled. I noticed the Matt wasn’t back yet.

“How long have I been out?”

“I don’t know. Maybe 20 minutes… at least.” Justin looked at me closely. I bit the inside of my mouth. Matt should have been back by now. I got worried. Standing up, I wrapped the blanket around me because of the chill, I looked around. He wasn’t here. Sliding on my sandals, I started to walk towards the bathrooms… I had to use them anyways. I shivered as I approached the building. Something was wrong. Maybe he got hurt or something. I leaned my ear against the door. I could hear people inside. I smiled when I heard his voice. I opened the door.

“Matt, I—“I couldn’t speak. I couldn’t breathe. This was not happening. I dropped the blanket and started running back to the fire. Tears disobeyed my protest and began falling down my cheeks.

“Bella!” Matt’s voice screamed from behind me. I didn’t stop I kept running. Justin came up to me as I approached the fire.

“What’s wrong?” He said, grabbing my shoulders. I tried to speak but I couldn’t. I turned my head, pulling myself out of his grip. I went to the log and picked up my shirt. “Bella?” Justin said from behind me.

“Matt…Anne…” was all I could say. He still didn’t figure it out. I sucked in a breath through my nose and began running to my car. I struggled with the keys in the lock.

“Bella… Bella… It’s not what you think.” Matt said coming to stand in front of the car. He leaned over to catch his breath. “She…I…” His face was beat red from running.

“I don’t want to hear it.” I said, unlocking the door and opening it. I threw my shirt into the passenger seat. Tear still came pouring down my face.

“I would never hurt you, Bella.” He said, coming towards me. He pulled me away from the car and wrapped his arms around me.

“Let go… Matt!” He let go… a little bit too quickly. I looked up to see that he was on the ground, Justin standing over him. I searched Justin’s eyes, and they were full of knowledge. He knew what I had seen. I saw Matt start to cry, but I didn’t care. He had completely turned my heart, my soul, to sand in an instant. I started to climb into my car.

“You can’t drive Bella!” Justin said, breathless.

“Yes I can... “I said. I knew what I was going to do. “I can’t stay here any longer…” Justin blocked my way from the open car door.

“It’s him!” Matt said. “You get away from my girlfriend!” Matt stood up and threw a punch, hitting Justin in the side of the head. He buckled over. “You love her, don’t you?” Matt screamed, angry tears replaced the hurt.

Justin stood up. “So what?” Matt leaped at Justin. They both started to fight. I could have stopped them, I could have. But I just wanted to get out of there. I want to get away. I climbed into my car, shifted it into drive and sped off.

8 months before… Forks Washington.

2 weeks after the funeral…

Bella sat on the front steps of her empty house. Everything was in boxes already. Angela, Mike, and a bunch of kids from school had helped her pack everything up.

“You know you don’t have to leave… You can finish the year.” Angela whispered in her ear when they hugged a final goodbye.

“I need this.” Was all Bella could say. She didn’t cry. She hadn’t cried.

Since she felt him leave in that hospital room.

She hugged Mike, and everyone… and they had left promising that they would be there if she needed them. She was grateful for their sympathy, but she just wanted to be alone.

“Hey.” Jacob said. Bella looked up from the ground and into his face. It was sunken.

“Hi.” She whispered. He sat down beside her and wrapped his arm around her shoulder. “Aren’t you going to ask me to stay?” She whispered into his shoulder.

“Do you want me to? Would it make a difference?”

“I don’t think so, no.” I murmured. He didn’t answer, but his arm tightened around me.

“Don’t make any friends better than me.” He whispered.

“I never could.”

“Good. I want you to know that you’re coming home this summer.” He said. Home. Was this home? It was. It always would be. This is where she was meant to end up. “Or else.” Bella didn’t answer. “I love you, Bella.” He whispered, kissing her forehead.

“I know.”

Bella left that night and she didn’t come home during the summer. She had half expected him to show up. Actually she had hoped it… but he never came. He never called… He had forgotten.

Trees hit the side of her car, but Bella didn’t drive the car to the centre of the lane. She wasn’t paying attention. Her eyes were clouded over and her stomach hurt so badly. Memories of her entire life flooded her vision.

She was five years old and Charlie was trying to teach her how to ride a bike. He kept saying that the only way she was going to learn was if he let go. She had screamed at the thought. He had never let go, and it took all summer to teach her. But he had never grown impatient.

She was twelve and Renee had asked her to babysit the next door neighbour’s toddler. She had agreed, and half an hour later had lost the child. It took her almost an hour to find her playing in the upstairs closet. She had found one of Bella’s old ragdolls.

She was sixteen and one of the boys from school asked her out. She had accepted, but he had stood her up at the movie theatre… showing up with another girl.

She walked into that biology class and seen him sitting there, seen his eyes fill with hatred—what she had thought at the time--. She had fallen in love with him the second she saw him in that cafeteria.

They were in the meadow. They were in her bedroom. “You are my life now”. He held her as he realized what he had to do to save her. He was there at the hospital, holding her tight. He kissed her. His hands were cold. They were at prom. They were swimming in the ocean. She watched as Emmett and Edward joked around; play fighting. I love you. She cut herself. “It would be as if I never existed”. She was lying on the forest floor. You do love me. You lied. You lied. You do love me. She was smiling up at Jacob. She was with Jacob working on the motorcycles. They were riding. She crashed.

She crashed. Throwing her arms up in the air, her head flew back against the seat. Then forward against the steering wheel. She couldn’t see. Her legs went numb. Cold. Everything was cold. Why

was it cold? The water rushing around her. Into her mouth, up her nose. Everywhere. Everything went grey. Then it went black.


I returned back to the fire. It was just a small animal but it had filled me up enough until I could leave. I looked at the group of people. Something was happening. Two guys were going at each other. One of them was Bella’s new love interest. Uh oh. Where was Bella? Edward was going to kill me. I ran to the group of people.

“Where’s Bella?” I asked. They all looked at me as if I were an alien.

“Who are you?” A blonde boy asked.

“A friend! Where is she?!” I shouted. One of them pointed down the highway and I ran. I don’t think I’ve ever run this fast before… I could smell her. Floral… mixed with alcohol.

And blood.

Oh no. I saw the wheel marks as I arrived at a bridge. Her car had gone right over. A bunch of cars and people were parked around. The humans were looking over the ledge.

I jumped.

I found the car. I found Bella. I checked her. She wasn’t breathing. Come on Bella. I swam back to the surface. There was already an ambulance there. At least someone had enough brains to do that.

“How long has she been under?” I screamed.

“A few minutes…” Someone said. An EMT came forward and started checking her vitals. While he did so I took out my cell phone and called Alice.

“The vision you had...” I screamed when she picked up. “You couldn’t see because she was drowning. She…” Alice had hung up. They had started doing CPR but nothing was working. The kids from the fire were arriving in groups.

“Bella! Oh my god!” Someone screamed. I didn’t pay attention. It was all my fault. I had gotten hungry. I had stopped watching Bella. It was all my fault.

It didn’t take long.

“We’ve lost her.” One of the EMT’s said.

“No!!” The voice was familiar. It was Edward who had picked up Alice’s phone.