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A Change in Monsters

Summary:
When Bella comes back from Renee's after Edward leaves in New Moon, she has trouble coping. Will she ever find love again? Sam/Bella


Notes:
NO EMILY! Just so you know! She's not in this story, never will be...


14. Thoughts

Rating 5/5   Word Count 1098   Review this Chapter

The rare sun in Forks woke me up; it’s bright, slithery rays casting eerie shadows on the wall. Sam was asleep next to me, his muscular arm resting around my waist.

I had called Charlie to tell him where I was, and he told me that it was best that I just stay with Sam for the night. According to him, there was too much rain to see the road and he wouldn’t be home till later anyway. After that, he gave me a brief talk. I told him that I was not planning on doing anything like that. He eventually let me go, and Sam and I crawled up to his bed, trying to forget about what had happened. Although, we both knew that that would never leave either of our minds.

I stared at the walls, having lost all hopes of falling into a deep sleep. I knew that that was close to impossible right now. I kept trying to focus on one thing so I would not have to think about anything else: the shadows, my fingernails, the design on my pajamas, and the design on Sam’s boxers. None of it seemed to catch me into its grasps, so I ended up concentrating on Sam’s breathing, trying to move my chest with his.

I snuggled in closer so I could feel his chest rising and falling against my back. I sighed as his arm unconsciously pulled me closer. This brought me back to think of how I used to lay in bed with Edward almost every night.

“Shoot!” I muttered to myself. I had gotten to thoughts that I didn’t—nay, could not think about. I swiveled around in Sam’s arms and buried my face in his shoulder. I brought my knees up to my chest and wrapped my arms around them.

I took in long, soothing lung fulls of his scent. My brain became dizzy from the overwhelming amount of the smell. Great, I was becoming an addict to his smell. I breathed it in deeply again. I came to the conclusion that there was nothing whatsoever wrong with being an addict to his smell.

I snuggled my nose in closer so I could get a stronger scent. Sam shifted under the slight pressure and slowly I saw him open his eyes. I smiled up at him until he finally came to his senses and looked down at me, blinking slowly. Finally, his lips curved into a lopsided smile. I reached up daringly and put my index finger on the side that had not gone up. I pushed it up jokingly.

“Hmm,” Sam hummed. He caught my hand in his and pulled it down to his neck. He moved his hands to the back of my head and pulled me into him. Our lips brushed against each other’s. I could tell that we both were holding back, not wanting to push the other too far.

After a few seconds, I pushed back so I could look at Sam in the eyes. “We need to talk about something,” I said, attempting to keep my voice calm.

I could feel Sam stiffen quickly, so I moved my hand to the back of his neck and then back the side, and then back to the back. I was trying to sooth him, and eventually it worked. He arched his back, stretching it out. Then, he smiled and gestured for me to continue.

“I wanted to talk to you,” I started again, “about something from yesterday.” He did not flinch this time, just motioned again for me to continue when I stopped.

“When you were on the phone with Alice, you said something about Tanya…and Edward. What did you mean?” I asked earnestly.

“Bella,” he pleaded. “Please, not now. Some other time. I mean, it’s like two in the morning. Let’s try and get more sleep.”

“I don’t see how now is not as good as any other time. We are both awake, and I really really want to know. Please, Sam… I need to know. He’s…dead, it shouldn’t matter too much now if we talk. We need to talk, get it all past us and out of our systems.”

Sam nodded and pulled me closer into him so my face was pressed against his chest, and made circle motions on my back. He breathed into my ear for a couple of minutes and I let him. I was letting him take his time, he obviously needed to work up to what he was going to say to me; he needed to choose the right words to say.

“Well, as you heard when I was talking to Alice, I said that we had sources in Alaska. We sort of caught Tanya and Edward together. I was planning on using that against him if he ever came back. I guess I never got a chance to though, seeing as how he’s dead now.” I gasped; surprised that he was willing using that word. I let it pass though.

“Okay, so when Edward left, he went around the world. Y’know, a little bit here, a little bit there, and then somehow he ended up in Alaska with the Denali clan. He got too close to Tanya. Then he told her he was going back to Forks. Ripping out two girls hearts. Wow! I just cannot believe him.”

I was surprisingly not shocked. I somehow seemed to be able to expect that sort of thing out of the new Edward that had come back.

“Thanks for telling me,” I said. Then, I kissed him, kissed him like there was no tomorrow. And, thankfully, he kissed back, equally enthusiastic. I pressed my palms against his chest and pushed him down flat onto the bed. I saw him smiling underneath me, and I couldn’t help, but bring my lips down to his smiling ones. He immediately stopped smiling and starting kissing me again.

His fingers found the hem of my shirt and started pulling it up and over my head. We broke apart so he could get the shirt all the way off of me. Then, we were connected at the lips once again.

My own fingers found their way to the buttons of Sam’s shirt. I fumbled with them one by one until his full chest was exposed. I slid the shirt off of him and threw it on the floor.

Still kissing, Sam and I eventually got our pants off and Sam was working on my bra. He tried to flip me over so he was on top, but we had been too close to the edge of the bed and we fell off the bed onto our clothes, but still kept kissing.