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Jasper and the Goose

Summary:
Well, it's pretty obvious. Jasper is out hunting when he encounters... surprise, surprise, a goose.


Notes:
Yeah, well... Looney requested it, and I can't be bothered with the rest of my stories at the moment. They bore me desperately, but I've promised to finish them. This is an idea I've had for a while... just ask Looney! (speaking of whom, you should totally read her new story - eight days. It's fabulous, if a little... unfinished ISN'T THAT RIGHT LOONEY?!?!? See ya at the bottom! You will have the final vote in this! When you get to the bottom, pretty please leave me a little review saying who you think should... Well, I'll finish that thought at the bottom...


3. III ~ Rescue Version 1, Part 2

Rating 5/5   Word Count 682   Review this Chapter

“Oh. My. Edward! Please, Carlisle, do not tell me you are scared of geese too!” I squeaked.

“What, geese? No, of course not don’t be silly… Their commander in chief however… Well, he’s a very scary swan…”

“A SWAN!!! HOLY MACKREL, PLEASE DON’T TELL ME THERE IS A *@#?$*£ SWAN OUT THERE NOW TOO!!!” I looked at Mike curiously. Oddly enough, he seemed close to tears. Far below, on the ground, Bella began to giggle.

“Wait, wait, wait! Let me get this straight. You, you, you and you” She pointed at Me, Emmet, Edward and Carlisle in turn, “Are four fearsomely terrifying vampires, who have fought werewolves, revenge seeking obsessive vampire widows and an army of newborns, and you are afraid of GEESE?!?!? Well stone a crow, what is the world coming to?”

“Bella. Love.” Edward’s voice was soft, insistent, and strangely frantic. He looked at me and whispered: “They’re coming. And they have marshmallows.” Emmet screamed and fell backwards out of the tree, landing on the floor unconscious. Carlisle trembled like a leaf in an autumn breeze. Bella giggled.

“Edward, just say the magic word and I’ll scare those geese off for you.” I saw her slip her hand into her pocket surreptitiously, but I didn’t mention it. Edward was too preoccupied by his fiancée to notice anything.

“Bella, my love, my life, my soul. I would do anything for you. I have put my life, and my family’s lives, at risk for you many times over, and you know I would do it all over again to protect you. Please, Bella. Help me and my family in the only way you can, at present, and chase the geese away?” Bella sighed happily, and pulling a gigantic rifle from her pocket, skipped off into the forest, humming cheerfully. I heard several shots, and then Bella returned, holding the smoking gun loosely in her hand.

“All gone now Edward!” she giggled “Birdie all dead! Me go bang-bang-bang and birdies go bye-byes!” Edward sighed in relief, and we jumped from the tree, landing softly on our feet. Carlisle and I grabbed Emmet (it took the two of us because he was so goddamn heavy!), and Edward picked up Bella and placed her tenderly on his back. We sprinted off in the direction of home, ignoring the feathery white corpses lying her and there, and forgetting all about the tubby blonde human still stuck in the tree.

“Hey! Hey guys? Cullen? Um… Hale? Guys? I'm uh… I'm kind of stuck up here! Um… Guys? Err… Anyone?”

“Hello little boy…” a soft voice that was not obviously male or female whispered seductively.

“Hello? Who’s there? Um… I'm not exactly a little boy. I'm eighteen…”

“I know Mike… I know everything about you.” A tall, unusually pale man with long-ish, jet black hair stepped out from behind a tree. Mike gasped in fear and astonishment. Dang, that guy was HOT! Even hotter than Cullen, and that was saying something...

“Who – who are you?”

“Well, some know me by one name but others… Well enough about me. Would you like to come back to my funhouse with me?” Mike nodded, too astounded at the possibility that this vision of perfection wanted to spend time with him that he didn’t grasp the danger until it was too late.

“What should I call you?”

“You can call me… Well, my name’s Michael too, but we don’t want to get confused now do we?” Mike shook his head, mouth agape as he gazed at the man. “Tell you what, you can call me Mr. Jackson. Now let’s go have fun!”

“Yeah!” grinned Mike happily, not knowing that his ‘fun’ evening with Mr. Michael Jackson would end with his death…

Alice grimaced as she finished watching yet another vision of Mike being tortured by 'Mr. Jackson', or Aro of the Volturi.

"Edward" She called warily "Aren't we going to go save Mike from the evil clutches of Michael Jackson, A.K.A. Aro Volturi?"

"In a minute..." Answered Edward as he battled Emmet on his new game: 'The Lamb that Saved the Lion froom the Clutches of the Evil Vampire/Teddy-Bear Eating Geese'.