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I Need You to Love Me

A penny for your thoughts… A picture so it lasts… Let's knock down the walls of immortality Your fingers on my skin… only you can hear my fear… only you can help me heal… i see forever with you here. It's never enough, no matter how many times I try to tell you this is love. If tomorrow never comes, I want you to know right now that I'm gonna love you until the day. I'm gonna love you like it's the last night on Earth. And though I'm undeserving, I need you to love me.

All of this belongs to the great stephenie meyer. I am just playing with her fun toys.

14. Chapter 14- Your Fingers on My Skin

Rating 5/5   Word Count 5510   Review this Chapter

Chapter Fourteen - Your Fingers on My Skin

In case you missed reading the chapter notes- THIS CHAPTER HAS A PG-13 RATING!. That last little bit. If you wanna skip it, feel free. It's just some… well… tonsil hockey.

Alec looked at Gia as she spun around in circles with Gabriel. He should have been jealous, he realized, that it was Gabriel who got to hold Gia in his arms, got to teach her how to dance, but he knew that Gabriel was currently in love with Adrianna. Until he fell out of love with her, his relationship with Gia was totally platonic. Gia laughed as she stumbled slightly though Gabriel caught her with ease. The two did seem to float rather than dance, Alec mused, his eyes dancing as he watched them. He could only imagine what it would feel like to hold Gia in such an intimate way- especially since she would be fully conscious. It must be heavenly for Gabriel, or at least, it would have been if he were teaching Adrianna to dance and not Gia. Adrianna was already fluent in the way of dance and instead, had been teaching Alec. The vampire in him allowed him to master the art at a much faster rate than Gia, leading them to finish a long time before her and Gabriel. That was fine by Alec, it meant that he got to watch Gia.

“She’s beautiful,” Adrianna said, sitting beside him. It was much later in the evening, and she had tried to put their conversation behind them. If it did not disturb Alec, it should not bother her. Oh, but it did. She was worried for her friend, and was suddenly wary yet curious of the girl who brought such changes out in Alec.

Alec did not even try to deny it. “I know,”

“Do you love her?”

Alec paused, thinking. “I don’t know if whatever this new feeling is has developed into such a deep emotion as that,” he decided that that was a fair, truthful answer. He did care for Gia. They had long ago established that. He was doubtful the young affection had blossomed into love though.

“Oh, Alec,” Adrianna sighed, “You are being far too analytical. Love isn’t something you have to think about, it is something that you experience, something that you just know.” She thought he did, otherwise he would not be acting so foolishly. He normally was the first to recognize something that went against the laws of nature and to correct it. Yet he plainly ignored something so obvious right beneath his nose. There had to be more than a simple crush behind that blatant disregard for the rules.

Alec had to mull that one over. Adrianna sat contentedly, patiently waiting to hear his truthful answer. Love was something you just experienced? Not something that you thought about? That boggled Alec’s mind. He had never thought that there was an action in life that did not require thought and deliberation. All of his emotions thus far were reasonable, and could be categorized under a different thought. He cared for Jane because she cared for him. They had stuck together for all those years when they were alone. Of course he would love his sister.

He was loyal to the masters because they saved not only his life, but Jane’s, the most important person in the world to him. That act alone deserved his unwavering faithfulness. On top of it, however, they had offered the twins a life, a home, a family. Families by nature stuck together. He was friends with Heidi, Adrianna, Gabriel, Lucius and others because they shared common interests, and were accepting of Alec and Jane.

All of those reasons were logical and made sense. He could reason out those emotions. Adrianna said that love was unreasonable. For the first time since he met Gia, Alec suddenly found himself afraid of pursuing anything that was a semblance of a relationship if it would be unreasonable.

“I don’t understand,” he finally said, very conscious of Gia’s form spinning across the room and of Alphonse’s eyes leering at her. The dominance within him growled threateningly.

Adrianna had expected that answer. “How does she make you feel? Your body’s response is the best way to tell. What are your thoughts, both around and away from her? You don’t have to think about it, you just know.”

Gia plopped down on the couch beside him, painfully unaware of the conversation that had just been taking place. Her breathing was deep and prolonged, the dancing had made her tired. “Whoo! That was fun!” she laughed.

“Really?” Adrianna asked bemused. She watched Gia with one eye and Alec with the other. It was crucial to determine if the human had the level of affection that Alec most certainly had for her. Adrianna did not have to wait for his answer to know the truth. She already knew it, even if he didn’t.

“Oh yeah! Gabriel is an amazing dancer! It’s hard to keep up with him, sometimes!” Gia delicately panted.

“Hmm,” Adrianna pursed her lips and raised an eyebrow. “Don’t let him hear you say that. It’ll go straight to his head,”

“And it doesn’t need to swell anymore!” Gia laughed merrily.

Meanwhile, Alec tried his best to ignore so that he could deliberate on Adrianna’s question. All he had to do was concentrate on his emotions, label them, and then he would know. That sounded easy in theory, though Alec learned the hard way many times that things were easier said than done.

Let’s see… feelings, feelings. All he could think about was the fact that his task was ridiculous. How was he supposed to know if he loved her? Logically, he shouldn’t. He had know her for a few weeks. He did not believe in love at first sight and felt that this situation could not be labeled as such. After all, he did not like her at all at first, finding her presence rather annoying.

Could Gia have been any more intrusive! he though with a snarl. She sat there, completely ignoring him, but her every movement distracted him! If she kept at it, he would never be able to focus long enough to determine whether or not he loved her!

Gia… the name sounded beautiful even in his mind. Her hand clasped his, she was just as ever aware of his presence as he was of hers. Her hair fell down around her waist; static pulled it every which way, most of it coming on to him. He did not mind. It was a lustrous orange red, like fire and thet ips were an icy blue; an incredible contrast. He wanted to touch it, stroke it. It looked like it was just as soft of her olive skin, so dark compared to his. Her gorgeous eyes danced as she quipped with Adrianna. They were her most endearing quality, unique and perfect, just like her. They took his breath away but he did not know that on a conscious level.

He could not help but sit and stare as she thoughtfully thumbed through her hair. She pursed her pink lips and batted those damn eyes while she played with Adrianna, leaving Alec to sit there slack-jawed with nothing to say again. It was a good thing that he had nothing to say. It was likely that his voice would have shook, just as his hands did. Gia’s thumb casually stroked the top of his hand soothingly, subconsciously doing so. He couldn’t take his eyes off of her, only able to see her, despite the presence of the others in the room. She was laughed like bells and Alec had a sense that he was out of his league.

“Alec,” she said his name, turning it into a masterful melody. She spoke to Adrianna and not him, thankfully, for Alec would have found himself unable to reply. The world seemed to spin around her as she laughed and rolled her eyes at the face Adrianna made, unaware of it all. It felt like he was falling, but it was in a pleasant way, because he was falling in love with her more and more every day.

There, he paused, ecstatic. He understood what Adrianna meant. This was love. Not sibling love or friendship love, but romantic love. It might not be deep enough to be true love yet, and it might only be a one way thing, but Alec knew that he was beginning to fall in love with her.

Alec looked at Adrianna and nodded his head once. Just once. She instantly saw it and quickly took her leave, pulling Alphonse and Gabriel by the ears to make them comply. Gia watched amused, oblivious to the effect that she was having on him.

“Gia,” he whispered, suddenly very afraid. Somehow, this pathetic little human held his very core in her palms, and had no idea just how vulnerable she made him. That was probably a good thing, he realized, she couldn’t hurt him on purpose if she didn’t know. He had no idea how he came to care for her in such a way, but that couldn’t be helped now. “Can I tell you something?”

Gia turned to face him, smiling brightly. Her navy eyes shone in anticipation as she greedily awaited his confidences. “Of course, Alec! You’re now my best friend! You can tell me anything you want to,”

Damn… she had no idea what she was saying! No idea at all! So lighthearted and carefree, holding no trace of seriousness- she was obtuse about the level of feelings that he was ready to admit. He should have known that she would not return his feelings. She wasn’t emotionally mature enough yet to handle the idea of someone falling in love with her. Yet, his body forced him to tell her, the words swelling up inside him until it was painful. He had no choice, even if his mind did not want to confess these blasted feelings; his body was determined to. “Never mind,” he muttered, casting his eyes down and looking away.

“Alec,” Gia gripped his chin and gently pulled his head around. Her eyes stared deeply into his, as if she were trying to read his very thoughts. But she wasn’t Edward Cullen or Master Aro, and she couldn’t. “Please, tell me,” she pleaded.

“I don’t want to… scare you,” Alec whispered, his body turning hot from the combined heat that her talent brought from him, and the much more intense heat that radiated from her.

Still holding his chin, she forced him to meet her eyes. “I promise, you won’t,” she declared fervently but softly.

“I’ve… you… this… I…” Alec stuttered out, trying to think of where to begin. It was impossible for him to just come out and say it when part of himself still doubted the sincerity of it.

“Just say it, Alec. Trust me,” Gia said softly, giving him a reassuring half-smile for support.

Alec took a deep steadying breath. “Okay, but once I start, you have to promise to not interrupt. I won’t be able to finish if you stop me in the middle,”

Fear knotted inside Gia’s stomach. Resolute with anticipation, she squeezed Alec’s hot hand. “I promise. Not a word,”

Alec took another breath and then began. “It’s so mysterious, and yet… wonderful. You have changed me completely. Now, I can eat, and I sleep, and I feel these things that I never imagined I could. You keep me in this constant flux of emotions and thoughts and beings. I am not human, nor am I a complete vampire. I am something that only you could create, a being caught between two races forever, and I don’t mind it in the least. I crave every damn second of it. And it is all because of you.

“And not just my physical changes. My emotions, my feelings, they are all new. You make my heart beat faster than any other girl ever could- both literally and figuratively. I don’t mind. All I know is that you are everywhere to me. You are all I see, all I hear, all I think about. Your very presence intoxicates me and I have never been so happy in my life to be drunk. It feels like I have known you all of my life, not just a short few weeks.

“You are perfect, an angel sent from Heaven by God Himself. Every time I get to see you, I am thankful for that brief moment. I don’t know if this is love or if it is something much smaller, but it doesn’t feel small. It feels grand and large, all-encompassing, great enough for every one to see it. It frightens me, makes me feel small and insignificant, but I can’t ignore it. I love you, Gia. I don’t know if I love you with all of my heart, or if I am in the process of falling in love with you. All I know is that, at least part of my heart- if not all of it- loves you,”

Gia’s eyes widened. Her eyelids grew heavy so she blinked, pushing the warm tears that welled up in her eyes out. They rolled down the curve of her cheek, dropping onto her hands, alerting her to the fact that she still grasped Alec’s hand. She yanked it out of his grasp as quickly as she could, seething in rage.

“How could you say that? Do you think I’m stupid? That I would believe those lies? You just pity me!” Betrayal and rage flowed through her body. She shook in anger, never having been cut so deep by someone who she loved so much. How could he love her? Impossible! Never had she felt such excruciating pain. The thought of someone loving her was too much. Gia stood up and ran out of the room. She barreled past an enraged Adrianna, sobbing all the way to her room. Throwing herself on her bed, she sobbed until she passed out from exhaustion.

“What did you say to her?” Adrianna screeched at Alec.

“Oh like you don’t know!” Alec yelled back. “All of you were standing outside the door, listening to every word that I said!”

“I was praying to God that I missed something!” Adrianna threw her hands up in the air, “Why did she react like that? I was sure that she liked you back.”

Alec’s dead heart skipped a beat in hope, which was quickly crushed by reality. Gia hated him.

Adrianna looked at him shrewdly. “You know,” she accused.

Alec nodded. “I do, and no, I won’t betray her trust by telling you,”

Adrianna stomped her foot. “I wished I had known before setting all of this up! I would have taken it into consideration! Dammit! Dammit! Dammit! Dammit all!” she screamed loudly.

Alec collapsed onto the sofa as he threw his head into his hands, letting it rest there. If he could, he would have cried. He truly was miserable. Even from his spot, he heard Gia’ sobs echo throughout the chateaux. He truly was cursed.

Day soon faded to night as Gia tossed and turned in her bed. She had passed out from crying so hard, something she had not even thought possible let alone done. Her sore eyes took their time to open, slowly adjusting to the darkness of the room. She was acutely aware of the fact that Alec was not beside her. After having become so accustomed to his continuous presence, it felt like a part of her physical being was missing.

Finally able to see in the darkness, she glanced at the clock on the night stand. It was a little bit after two in the morning. Staying in her room was boring. Growing antsy, she sat up and left the room, pushing her bombarding thoughts about Alec’s confession out of her mind. She craved serenity and quiet, her thoughts were screamingly loud and antagonistic in her direction. She made her way to the kitchen- the only room in the chateau that the vampires would not hang out- a piece of chocolate comfort cake from Auberge’s occupying her thoughts.

She wasted no time stabbing her fork viscously into the creamy center, acting as if she did not have a care in the world.

“You should slow down before you die,”

Gia just rolled her eyes. She had sensed Alec walk into the kitchen, but had studiously ignored him in the hopes that he would leave her be. “I will eat however I want,” she snapped, finally acknowledging him. “Why should you care anyways?” Her bitterness expressed itself eloquently through her voice. Her chest throbbed, still hurt from before. She intently stared at the cake, hoping he would take the hint.

“Can I have some?” he asked. Ever since Gia had first enabled him to eat the wondrous thing that was chocolate, he found himself having the strangest cravings for it and other foods- foods that he had never eaten before. He really wanted to try something called pizza. Gia had eaten before and had declared it to be the best tasting thing out of Italy. He was now very very curious.

Gia shook her head no in a defensive manner. Her arm wrapped around her plate as if she were shielding the heavenly desert from his view. His lips pouted in disappointment, knowing that she always failed when facing his pitiful pout face.

“Fine, one bite,” she sighed in accession. She warily warned, “That’s all,”

He nodded in a way that gave Gia the urge to suddenly tackle him. Containing herself quite nicely, Gia held out the fork to him. There was no way that she was going to watch him stick his nasty fingers in the middle of her beautiful piece of cake. His eyes never left her as his lips touched the fork. Gia felt her entire body heat up, a mutual feeling when they were together. She never even felt her mouth drop slightly until he was finished. She snapped it shut quickly as he swallowed. She could have been mean and tried to turn her power off- she wasn’t even sure if she could do that, but it did seem logical. All coherent thought had left her brain, however and she did not think of that option until after the encounter.

“Are you still mad at me, Gia?” The tone in his voice turned serious and concerned, different from the slightly playful tone that had laced his words. Gia’s heart began to beat at an irregular pace.

“Don’t know.” She really did not want to say anything else, not knowing what else to say.

“I didn’t know you would react like that. I never meant to hurt you,” he whispered fiercely, begging her to believe him. He needed her more than anything else and he had driven her away whenever he confessed those thoughts to her. That was entirely the last thing that he wanted to do. Now, Alec knew that he would have to do anything and everything in his power to remedy the mistake, even if it meant giving up any type of relationship with her. He needed her in his life, even if was just friendship- God forbid, he would even take a passing acquaintanceship.

Her eyes broke away from his. Her confidence sunk to an all time low, as did her head from the way he was acting. Her head stayed down until Alec gently gripped her chin, tilting it upwards as her great eyes widened just enough so his lips grazed against hers, slowly deepening the kiss for he did not want her to break away. His hand left her chin with ease so that he could embrace her body by cradling her lower back, pulling her off of her stool, closer to him. Her mind was fuzzy from not only his actions but the heat and adrenaline rushing through her. Throwing caution and reason to the wind, she let go of her anger to Alec, and gripping his hair and the back of his head, she kissed him with all of her might.

She pulled away, tensing when his hands gripped her back even tighter, panting as if she had just run a marathon. Alec did not seem to have the problem she did with air. He continued to kiss her face, her neck, her ear, flicking his tongue gently across her exposed skin. Goosebumps rose up, making Gia shiver. “Alec,” she groaned, “We need to talk,”

His smile only grew even bigger. “You’re right, as usual. We do need to talk,”

He did not see to truly believe that statement. He stopped Gia from speaking anymore by capturing her lips with his, feasting upon her mouth. “You don’t know how much I’ve wanted this,” he whispered into her mouth, “For how long…”

Instinctively, Gia knew he was not looking for an answer. She could only think to wrap her arms tightly around his neck. He grinned into her neck, his tongue grazed across the sensitive flesh beneath her ear. Suddenly, he stopped kissing her neck and Gia moaned in frustration. It had felt so good!

“Do you… Do you want me to stop?” His words blew lukewarm air against her as he exhaled.

Gia’s pretty head cleared in an instant. Did she want him to stop? Of course she did, dammit! Why would she want to be molested again? Even as she thought it, Gia winced. What Alec was doing to her was far from what Scipio did. She could tell just by the way her body responded. She also knew by the way her heart erratically beat whenever he pulled away to look her in the eyes. He was a brave boy- or, a brave man trapped inside a boy’s body, she supposed. Unwrapping her clinched fingers from his neck, she hugged his waist.

“I don’t know,” she muttered under her breath, knowing he would have no trouble hearing it.

Well, he mused, that was not what he expected. Alec couldn’t help the tiny grin that crossed his youthful face. He was a man after all. “I do not understand,” he honestly answered, confused. He thought it would be a simply yes or no question.

Gia sighed. “It’s complicated. I think that we need to talk some things over before we proceed any further,”

Alec bobbed his head in compliance. So far, it sounded like things were going his way. Gia then yawned and he knew that their talk would have to wait until the rising of the sun. “Come on,” he said, pulling away. “We need to get you to bed. The human needs her sleep,”

“I’m not the only one who can sleep now,” Gia reminded him as she clutched onto his hand, extremely careful to not break the contact between them. Alec noticed and felt elated.

“Again, you are correct,”

“You would make a good boyfriend,” Gia commented, “You know that I am always right. Even if I’m wrong, I’m right.”

“You’re right,” he answered.

“And,” she grinned, “I have you whipped already. That saves me half the trouble,”

Alec did not find that statement as amusing as the previous one. He glared and pouted a little. Gia smiled at him and he felt all better. He wanted to tell her that he loved her, but Alec knew that that would be pushing things too far for just then. For the time being, he had to be content with holding hands and maybe pecks on the cheek.

They arrived at their room. Gia sent Alec into the closet to change into the pajamas that Adrianna had lovingly purchased for him. Did that girl love to shop, Alec thought, shaking his head. It seemed like every day, she was out in town, buying either him or Gia something. She claimed to have already been out running errands for Gabriel- Alec really didn’t want to know- and had just happened across whatever miscellaneous item that she brought back for them. It also always seemed to be exactly what they needed. The latest of her shopping sprees included a pair of p.j. pants made of navy silk. She explained to him that the store had been out of smalls for the tops and that she would try again next time. Alec counted to one hundred as usual before slipping his right leg into the pants, and then down from one hundred before doing his left leg.

“Are you decent?” he called out to Gia.

“Yes, Alec!” she replied, sounding suddenly perky.

Slightly apprehensive, Alec opened the door. Gia sat waiting on the bed for him. She wore a lacy pink cami and a pair of plaid boxer shorts- thankfully, not his. They had been purchased for her during Adrianna’s acquirement of Alec’s pajamas. The little outfit showed a lot more skin than he was used to seeing, and he really liked it. Normally, she slept in boxer shorts and a hoodie- she loved the warmth and he was cold. Tonight, she had opted for just the cami and Alec wondered why. He let out a breath that he did not realize he had been holding. He supposed that a part of him hoped he would walk in on her still changing.

Rising to her feet, she looked at him more fully with a mixture of confusion and concern in her eyes; Gia’s eyes quickly changed, widening as she took in the look in the vampire's own eyes as the man silently watched her. Feeling a chill running down her spine, Gia felt her own heart rate speed up, her pulse jumping and becoming as erratic as it had been earlier. She'd never had a man look at her like this. The closest thing she could compare it to was Scipio. But this was completely different.

She was feeling uneasy, but this wasn't fear or pity she was feeling. It was..unlike anything she'd ever known. Her body reacted to it in ways that Gia had never imagined she would feel. It was like when he had first kissed her, only this was so much more intense, her reactions intensifying without even the need for physical contact.

Gia stood, looking at his bare chest. She rapidly blinked several times. All coherent thought left her brain. She could only think to close her mouth and not drool. She had never seen him shirtless. But she definitely wanted to see more of it from now own. She never realized that he was so developed, so muscled. It made her muscles churn just to think about it.

And, he had abs. She groaned. She had never fallen for a guy who did not have abs. But man… Alec had the best by far. They looked so natural and beautiful. His flawless diamond skin sparkled in moonlight. He was so freaking hot, she realized. She had never thought to think of him like that before.

“Alec…” she murmured his name. Her best friend stood stock still, unable to move as she walked closer, her eyes never leaving his chiseled torso. She could not help herself. She reached one finger out and began to trace up and down his chest, slowly moving towards his abs. Those abs fascinated her. She wanted to trace them with her finger for a long time. She had had abs once upon a time. And she had loved them. Doing endless core exercises though got tiring and she let them go. They were so much hotter on a guy anyway.

Alec wanted to move, but it was as if her gaze had pinned him to the spot, his body too heavy to move without her permission. His body was coming alive though, with feelings similar to those of first waking up after the transformation. Heightened awareness and incredible sensitivity. “Gia,” he whispered, unsure of why she was acting like this. Then it dawned on him. She wanted him, Alec realized with a sort of giddy delight he had never experienced before. That was what this was, that was what was in her eyes now.

In the back of his mind he was perfectly aware that he was physically superior to her, that he could break away from her and perhaps should. Her touch was eating him alive, enslaving him with every move of her finger upon his quivering flesh. As much as he wanted to be able to think, to analyze, he didn't want to know as badly as he wanted to feel, to ride this torrent of events with her. Calling up his superior lower body control, he did not move a centimeter as Gia traced along his abdomen. He even stopped breathing. He had to or else he knew that he would pounce. Then, she groaned; he lost control.

All Gia could say was that Alec knew how to move when he wanted to. He had her pinned up against her bare bedroom wall in the blink of an eye, her wrists bracketed by his hands as Alec forced her arms above her head, arching her into him so that she automatically went on tip toes to compensate for their height difference. Head swooping down to capture her lips the kiss was intense, electrifying, a no holding back experience. There was no playfulness or gentleness; this was a feasting on her mouth, a branding of ownership and mastery over her. She was his prize, the spoils of his own personal war. He was taking no prisoners.

Allowing her no means of escape Alec continued his assault on her mouth until her lips were blood red and bruised from his own, her breathing erratic and her body strung and quivering as tight as an arrow's bow against him. Shifting his right hand so that he could hold her arms with one hand, Alec moved said hand down and sliding it under her rear used it to jerk her further up the wall, pulling her even closer to himself. Taking a moment to briefly meet her wild, dark eyes Alec gave her a quick, sexy as hell smile before lowering his head. He was going to kiss every part of her that he could, he thought, returning to her swollen lips. And then he was going to do it all over again. Mine.

Fingers quirking under his hold, her whole body shook under his restraint. Gia’s mind ran wild, unable to process, much less deal with the stimulations her body produced. Her heart clenched as new feelings swept through her, taking control of her entirety. She was sweating, her whole body damp and achy in a way that was both drugging and exhilarating at the same time.

Gia shifted on the tips of her bare feet and lifted one leg to wrap around his slight hip, using that as a spring board to wrap the other around his waist so that she could encase him between her legs, shifting their bodies so that they could get as close as their current positions would allow. She wished that she could have held onto him in some way, but his grip was like iron and there was no way that his possession of her mouth allowed her any room to speak. No, she had to suffer in silence, detached in a way from him, wanting very much to be closer to him.

Her heart beat erratically. She shook against his lithe form, struggling for air. No. Seriously. She needed to breathe or else she was going to pass out before they got to the good part.

When Gia went limp in his arms, candor forced him to admit that he was more than just a little freaked out. Then he remembered: air. He forgot to let her breathe! Dammit! “Gia?” he called out softly but frantically! “Gia?”

“I sweepy,” she muttered, coming to as Alec sighed in relief.

“Then let’s get you to bed.” He carefully lay her down in the bed. Pulling the covers up all around her to make sure she was warm, he lie down beside her, careful to keep a proper distance between them. Tonight especially of all nights, he needed to make sure that all was right within the bounds of propriety. That is, he had to if he wanted Gia to kiss him like that again.