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I Need You to Love Me

Summary:
A penny for your thoughts… A picture so it lasts… Let's knock down the walls of immortality Your fingers on my skin… only you can hear my fear… only you can help me heal… i see forever with you here. It's never enough, no matter how many times I try to tell you this is love. If tomorrow never comes, I want you to know right now that I'm gonna love you until the day. I'm gonna love you like it's the last night on Earth. And though I'm undeserving, I need you to love me.


Notes:
All of this belongs to the great stephenie meyer. I am just playing with her fun toys.


15. Chapter 15 - Only You Can Heal My Fear

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Chapter Fifteen- Only You Can Heal My Fear

Alec was groggy that night. He fought sleep, afraid that something would happen in the middle of the night, that he would somehow offend her. So despite the fact that sleep was the only thing he could think about fourteen hours earlier, he now valiantly struggled against the growing heaviness on his eyes.

“…Mmhumm,”

Washed over in that blissful fog somewhere between slumber and consciousness, Alec stretched lazily against the human in her bed. She was always so warm. Her skin radiated heat like a rock in the sun. With her head nestled against his shoulder, and her left limbs splayed out possessively over his body, she blinked against the darkness of the room.

“Alec?” she mumbled,

“Morning, Gia,” he whispered, pulling her even closer to him.

“What time is it?” she yawned.

“A little after six,” he answered.

“Did you sleep?” she inquired as she nestled her head into his chest.

“I tried not to,”

“Why not? You certainly need it,” she softly chastised him.

He had slept. He had not understood why Gia would murmur in protest as he lay her down all those nights before, saying that she was not tired until now. The unaware bliss of sleep left one completely out of control of his body. During those brief minutes before dawn that the heaviness of his eyes became too much, he had succumbed to his internal need to hold her. As such, when he had awaken- slightly before her- his careful barrier around her had been broken as they lie in a tangled mass. She didn’t seem to mind, Alec realized with a smug grin. In fact, he heard her sigh contentedly as he thought that.

“How was your rest?” he asked, wanting to keep them talking.

She shrugged, “Can’t complain.”

“That’s good… I suppose,”

She nodded, keeping her head on his chest. Her silky hair was just as soft as he had imagined it. The way her tresses caressed his skin, like silken gold, gentle and fine, made him groan in the back of his throat. She had no idea of the way she made him feel, of what she reduced him to.

Grinning wildly when her stomach rumbled loudly, Gia growled- or tried to at least- in frustration with her normal human needs. “Are you hungry?” he asked.

She shook her head negatively. He was too amused by her antics to press the matter any further. Yet, they had not lay in silence for two minutes before her stomach called out even louder for food. He chuckled, the vibration in his chest violently pushing her up and down. She smacked his stomach in a warning way, only to hurt her own hand.

“Owww!” she cried.

“I have told you countless times that I am as hard as a thousand diamonds,” he bemusedly reminded her.

“I keep hoping that you will get softer,” she muttered in a disgruntled tone. “So far you can eat, and sleep, and not sparkle, so I figure that getting soft will eventually fall into place.”

“I hope not,”

“Well, I am afraid that I have to tell you this my dear, but the world does not revolve around you,”

“Correct as usual,” he agreed, “It seems to revolve around you,” His carefully worded teasing was rewarded as her entire body grew very hot and turned the most delectable shade of pink. It somehow matched her hair perfectly and complimented her eyes.

“Whatever,” she muttered so quietly that even he had to strain to hear it. He looked down at her around his shoulder then, and did something that caught her completely off guard.

Alec smiled.

Eyes creasing with warmth, the rising sunlight coming in from the open window reflected off of his pretty, white teeth while the tips of his canine teeth rested pleasantly against his lower lip. A breathtaking expression for his stunning features- and for none other than her…

Oh, Gia thought as the blood rushed to her face. Do that again…

It elicited such a response in her that even after he turned back to watch the ceiling, she still stared at his profile in stupefied longing. It was the first time she'd experienced a wave of spontaneous sensuality since that day with Scipio, only this time, it was unexpectedly stronger.

Much stronger.

His ridiculous prettiness had always been untouchable- like the meadows in spring, or the Alps in winter. But masculine allure? She had found him no more desirable than Heidi- a renowned beauty. Hadn't even occurred to her the vampire had that kind of appeal.

Until now.

All of a sudden she noticed the strong, broad shoulders that filled out his shirt (when he was wearing one), and the heavy arms folded in his lap… and around her… Gia tried to look away, but in the process her eyes fixed on the swell of his chest masked until now by her hand… And then the sun's heat combined with her power let him completely normal. For a moment, she quieted her mind and focused on something- anything really- just something in the expanses of her mind that did this to him. She wanted to see him again as he truly was, not this half-creature that she unwillingly made him. Cracking her eyes open for just a second as she grasped the silvery threads of some mist in her mind, she was rewarded to see him shine in the Dawn for just a moment, looking more beautiful and magnificent than any creature had the right to. She bit back a startled gasp as her concentration slipped and she lost sight of him in all of his beauty.

Damn… Gia shuddered, and forced her wide-eyed stare to the wall. She pulled away from him as she sat up and wrapped her arms around her calves and rested her chin on her knees, as though closing her body off like that might somehow hide the tempest of feelings raging inside her head. She blinked several times as the thumping of her heart became embarrassingly loud, and she became achingly aware of his close proximity. Lying down next to her as he was, the usual heated chill that radiated off his body suddenly triggered all sorts of hormonal responses.

Agh. Get a grip, Gia, she silently berated herself, praying that his heightened senses wouldn't catch what was happening to her. He's your friend. Nothing more. No. Last night, he proved that he had wanted to be something more- something Gia had not realized she wanted until now. How the hell would she tell him?

"Gia…"

She gasped, and her head jerked up to see him staring at her with the slightest crease in his brow.

"What is it?" he asked.

She swore under her breath. Damn vampire senses… "Nothing," she blurted out, trying to smile.

He frowned, and his eyes trickled from the top of her crown to the tips of her toes. She could almost see him going down the mental checklist of her unusual ailments. Short, rapid breathing, flushed cheeks, trembling fingers…and a heartbeat so loud, one can barely hear his own thoughts… After a moment, his lips pursed in a set line, and he searched her face. "You're lying."

Gia’s flush grew even more. “I’m just hungry. That’s all,” Hungry for something completely different from food, albeit, but he didn’t have to know it. A part of her acknowledged the fact that he craved it just as badly as she did. It was just too embarrassing for her to be so brazen. She would not kiss him until a relationship had been established. She could tell by the way her heart thumped loudly as he looked at her with his deep beautiful eyes, that he was thinking along the same lines.

Alec leaned forward to rest his forehead against hers. He closed his eyes to listen more carefully to her erratic heartbeat. It warmed him to simply stay put and listen to its comforting rhythm. Not sure how much time had elapsed since he first touched their foreheads, he finally pulled back. Almost twenty minutes. How time did fly…

“I’m hungry,” she whimpered. Wow. What a mood killer… Gia grimaced at her words. Alec seemed to find her expression amusing for he let out a small laugh before tossing back the bed covers. Gia let out a squeal as the chilly morning air hit her bare skin. “Alec!” she yelled in protest.

Alec grinned apologetically, “Sorry, Gia. I forget that you get cold. Just like you forget that I’m hard,”

Gia blushed bright red as she stared at him, mouth hanging open in a loss of words. Alec quirked his head to the side and wondered why she reacted in such an odd way.

“Is everything all right?” he asked.

Gia could only nod. “I’ll be fine,”

“Perhaps food will make you feel better,” Alec mused out loud, silently terrified as to why she would react to whatever he said in such a violent way. Her heart beat so furiously against her ribs that Alec wondered if it might rupture.

Gia suddenly jumped out of the bed and ran out of the room. Worried that she might be trying to foolishly escape again, Alec bound after her, aware at his vampire-enhanced abilities returned instantly. He slowed down as soon as he heard her rampant giggling and realized that she was playing. She turned a corner quickly- him less than an inch behind her though she did not realize it. He stopped curious when she ducked into a wardrobe. What in the name of all that was holy was she doing? She had to know that he would easily find her. It wasn’t as if her hiding spot was even that good!

Alec pulled open the door, staring down at her questioningly. Gia sat crouched in the corner for the wardrobe was devoid of everything, her face covered by her hands. She grinned wildly at him even though she could not see him.

“What are you doing?” he asked, slightly exasperated.

“Hiding, Alec,” she sang out.

“From whom are you hiding?”

“You, silly,” she teased. Holding out her hands, she said, “Help me up,”

“Fine.” He tried to sound annoyed, but he was more amused than annoyed. She had been more withdrawn ever since they had come to France, and he had missed her spontaneity. Only just. She grinned as he helped her to her as if she weighed nothing- to him, she did.

“Thankya Alec,”

“Your welcome,” he said gruffly.

Gia grinned and kissed his cheek. If he could have, he would have flushed. She tried to walk away, but he wasn’t letting her go that easily. Grabbing onto her wrist, he pulled her against his chest. There was a slight thumping noise as she hit his chest hard. Alec paid her no mind for he was too preoccupied by capturing her lips. He expected her to fight him, to pull away. After all, they still had not discussed the course of events that had lead them to this point.

Surprising him once more, Gia snaked her arms around his neck, and locked her fingers in his hair. She responded, her lips matching his movements, fighting him for control. In a very un-Gia-like way, she surrendered as soon as the battle grew intense, allowing him to dominate the kiss. This could have been a mistake on her part for he was very inexperienced when it came to courtship things like kissing- she was his first but he would never tell her that. She might get cocky.

Gia broke the kiss off. She pulled back, face flushed and panting for air. Alec mentally slapped himself again. He kept forgetting the simplest things of being a living human- thins like breathing and eating. Despite having been in her continuous presence for the last two weeks, he still forgot occasionally to feed her and now he was forgetting the most important thing- oxygen.

“Come on,” she took his hand, “I’m starving,”

Alec chuckled. “All right,”

Gia pranced out of the room, this time clutching tightly to Alec. They made their way to the kitchen in a silence where no words were needed. For Alec, the prominent smile on Gia’s face was more than enough. For once, Alec mused as he watched Gia pour milk into her cereal- he had declined human food that morning- life was going perfect.

“Alec,” Gia whispered, looking up at him from her cereal, “About us-”

Alec sighed. This was one conversation that he had hoped to avoid. He knew that his Gia would not let it drop. She was far too tenacious for that. “Yes, my Gia?” he asked, valiantly keeping his voice pleasant.

Gia flushed bright pink. Without knowing it, Alec had endowed his first endearment on her. “Uhmm… listen, do you mind if we take this kind of slow? I mean, like, we just don’t delve straight into the physical part of the relationship? Take our time and what not?”

Alec blinked at her for a second. She looked at him expectantly, waiting for him to say something epic and reassuring. He could not grasp his conscious around the fact that all she wanted was reassurance that the relationship would not progress too rapidly into areas where she was uncomfortable? Really? That was it? He would have thought that was a give. He still was not entirely sure what making love was- he had never had a use for it and, since he was born and reared in an era where it was a well guarded secret until two were married, he had never inquired. It quickly dawned on him that he might have to do so and quickly. If Gia ever decided that she was ready and wanted to make love, he supposed that he should at least understand her request.

Meanwhile, Gia took Alec’ silence as disagreement. “Oh, you jerk,” she snapped.

“Why?” he asked.

“You didn’t answer me!” she nearly yelled. Snarled, to be exact.

“Oh, I was just thinking,” he replied honestly.

He had her curious. “About what?”

“I was afraid that the conversation would be longer, more drawn out. But if that is it, then I assure you, it is no problem.”

“Really?” she sounded relieved.

“Really,”

“Thanks, Alec. You really are the best,”

“Is it just taking you now to realize that?” he mused dryly, not even an ounce of humor in his voice.

“Oh, shut up!” He knew that she wasn’t mad. No. She was giggling too hard to be mad.

“Well, well well, what do we have hear?” Alphonse said from the doorway.

Both teenagers turned to stare dispassionately at the annoyance. Alec sat up a little straighter and glared at the younger vampire. Alphonse could not fail to notice the dominant pose and the hanging threat in the room. The little human had no idea of the silent war going on between the two vampire. Why would she? Hadn’t Alec gone to all sorts of lengths to protect her from the fiercer, more feral side of the vampire lifestyle? He had most undoubtedly left out how ferocious they fought when it came to dominance, how power was in a continuous shift. Currently, Alec was the most dominant out of the Guard, having replaced Demitri who couldn’t have cared less. It was common knowledge that Alec respected Demitri enough to respect his decisions and his word, taking it as law, and perhaps even feared the powerful vampire.

“So the mighty Alec has fallen from his lofty perch? Hn, that is rather… interesting,”

Gia looked at Alphonse with so much malice he was surprised that a little human could possess such a potent glare. The possibility that she would become the next dominant head of the Guard suddenly presented itself. He doubted that she would be easily manipulated- certainly not, he disregarded the idea as soon as he though of it, she had, after all, enchanted Alec. He had to admit that she was beautiful, one of the most beautiful humans that he had ever seen. He sighed, forcing himself from that particular line of thought. Arianna had sent him to deliver a message after all.

“We received some visitors during the night,” he informed the twosome. The human looked at him with mildly feigned interest. Alec blanched, and boy oh boy did he had good reason to. Sadistically grinning, Alphonse continued, “And they wish to barter for the girl,”

Two Days Later…

She glared up at the moonlight. Naturally, on the one night that she craved darkness, the moon decided to shed an unearthly glow on the world, illuminating the French countryside in a beautiful but eerie way. Her eyes tightly shut, she opened the balcony doors. Her room was on the second story- she had made worse jumps and not broken anything. She tried to reassure herself but the only thing that she could think of was the fact that she was going to miss Alec.

He was busy with the Robespierre coven, keeping them away from her. But, he had not thought to keep her away from them. She had heard every vile thing that they had said about Alec. If this was what would protect his status among the vampires worldwide then she was more than willing to go through with it.