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I Need You to Love Me

Summary:
A penny for your thoughts… A picture so it lasts… Let's knock down the walls of immortality Your fingers on my skin… only you can hear my fear… only you can help me heal… i see forever with you here. It's never enough, no matter how many times I try to tell you this is love. If tomorrow never comes, I want you to know right now that I'm gonna love you until the day. I'm gonna love you like it's the last night on Earth. And though I'm undeserving, I need you to love me.


Notes:
All of this belongs to the great stephenie meyer. I am just playing with her fun toys.


19. Epilogue - 50 Reasons They Mean Everything to Each Other

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50 Reasons They Mean Everything to Each Other

Another week had come and gone. Normalcy returned. Gia was home with the vampires, right where she was supposed to be with the Robespierre coven no where in sight. They had hightailed it out of the area as soon as Alec had departed to find Gia. Every time they slipped unbidded into his thoughts, Alec could not repress the guttural snarl that slipped past his lips. If he had not sworn to never be further than an inch away from her to his subordinates- they all agreed to not inform the Masters until the last possible moment- he would have hunted them down and destroyed them in the most painful way he could ever have imagined. Alas, it was not meant to be. But he held Gia as she slept every night, promising himself that he would eventually, kill Hannibal. That he would.

02/Safety

It had been a long time since shad had felt completely at ease. Two years since she had walked around without the feeling that some ominous presence stalked her. He kept her safe, and she loved him for it.

03/Freedom

Before her, Alec remained confined within the stony walls of the castle. Only twice in his six hundred year life had he left its safety. With Gia, he wanted to go everywhere, show her everything: the canals of Venice, the art of Paris, the glory of Niece, the majesty of Val Gardena. Never had the wonders interested him before, but he knew that someone as full of life as Gia would love a world tour.

04/Adventure

Ever since she could remember, all Gia had wanted to do was go on an adventure. To live, to experience the unusual, to do something great. Alec offered her a surreal world, a world beyond anything in her imagination. She never wanted to leave.

05/Plums

It was with her that he had first tasted the succulent berry. Imagine his pleasure when he realized that she tasted like ripe black plums. Suddenly, nothing tasted better than her soft wet mouth. Sometimes, he wondered if he could ever go back to the crimson wine.

06/Impossible Request

After they returned to Volterra, Caius announced that he wanted to do more tests on her. Fearless and fearful, she ran for her life. When Master Aro announced that she should be killed on sight, his dead heart skipped two beats.

07/ Obliged

She was found by Alphonse, whom brought her to him instead of killing her on the spot. He was simply grateful and felt as if he were forever in debt to the crafty vampire, as he held her close for as long as he could.

08/ Fearless

He brought her to their room that night and lay her already sleeping form on the bed. The whole night until she awakened, he watched her sleep, and felt as though all he feared meant nothing.

09/ Protector

He plead with the masters to let her live and was nearly tortured to death for it by his own twin whom thought he was deserving. If it had not been for her, rushing into the session and demanding that she should share the pain as well, the pain would have been all mental. Yet once the masters knew that they could be effected both mentally and physically, the punishments had taken a new turn. Aro had granted this and he had watched her get badly beaten in his place. It felt as though his heart would explode, but he was too weak to move and prevent any of it.

10/ He cares

After that night, he had sworn to her that anybody to touch her again like that was dead. It didn’t matter who it was. He soon after struck her across the face and lectured her about her own safety. She knew it was merely his way of saying he truly and heavily cared.

11/ She cares

She traced his battle scars as they lay together and saw the black bruises Aro’s many beatings and Jane’s sadistic had made on his skin, growling lowly at his stupidity for guarding her life.

12/ Magic

He took her to the Alps, just the two of them. Aro permitted their absence after Gia had threatened to commit suicide if she were forced to live under the same roof as Jane any longer. They were leaving a coffee shop whenever the first snow of the year graced the mountain community. She squealed and as she clutched his arm, laughed. “It’s magic!”

“How is that?” he asked with a small smile.

“Look around!” she gestured with a sweeping arm, “During the first snow, everyone is smiling and happy. There is no sorrow, no pain. For a short while, everyone forgets that we live in a harsh, unforgiving world. We are all just happy. It’s something that man cannot create. Magic,”

Alec looked up at the light gray sky filled with the falling snow then back down at her. The powdery white clung to her thick ebony lashes and realized she was right.

13/ Eternity

He had never been so nervous in his entire life. His hands shook and he had to stop breathing only to get control over his treacherous body. He knew what he was doing was ridiculous. She wasn’t even a vampire yet for goodness sake! Yet still, he found himself kneeling in the snow, heart in his hands in the form of a two carat pink diamond ring. He asked her to be his mate, a commitment she could not comprehend. Yet she laughed and cried, and promised him her heart for eternity. If only she knew…

14/ Taste

He was correct in thinking that human blood would never sate his pallet. When she said yes, he had picked her up and spun her around in wide circles before pinning her against the mountain side, kissing her senseless. He had accidentally hit her so hard that as he kissed her, the delicious taste of the fresh plums was highlighted by her tantalizing blood. For a human who smelled so ordinary, her blood was the best thing he had ever tasted.

15/ Well Wishes

Never before had anyone congratulated him. There was never a reason to. When Gia walked back into the castle, every one slapped his back in a cordial manner or hugged him tightly. Heidi would have cried if she could. She must have crushed Alec against her ten times. Jane could only scowl.

16/ Problematic

She was always causing him problems. It was as if she truly enjoyed it. He now was faced with the problem of changing her into a vampire before their relationship could progress any further.

17/ Patience

After receiving his orders to go to check up on the Cullens in America- more specifically, their freak child- he had been enraged. The masters were perfectly aware of his plight to change Gia. He had to do it. No one else seemed to be looking for a way to do it. It was only Gia’s soft touch and promise to accompany him that pacified Alec enough to actually obey.

18/ Tension

Whenever Alec, Demetri, Gia, Felix and Jane showed up on the Cullen’s doorstep, their reception had been less then warm. It was only the presence of Gia- a human among vampires- that spared them the fight.

19/ Age

It had been almost three years since the half-vampire had been born. She looked like nine and almost matched Gia in height. But since Renesmee had the maturity of a young teenager, the two acted like twins.

20/ Peanut Butter

Gia loved peanut butter like Alec did plums. She lamented the fact that that did not sell it in Europe. It tasted well enough, but he preferred to watch Gia eat it. She scooped it out with her forefinger and licked it off in a very provocative way.

21/ Walks

Gia swished her hips as she walked. She walked barefoot on the soggy ground. The damp ground moistened her toes, squished into the crevices of her toes, warming them slightly. She was getting dirty but she did not care. She was tired of all of the mythological creatures. Who knew Forks was brimming with them. Werewolves. Now there was a scary thought. She supposed that she should not walk around alone- those stupid creatures were still running around. She did not think that they would be a problem though. Nothing had happened during their stay in the dreary town.

She walked around, not paying attention to anything. She was obsessed with her summer dress. It was white with purple and green flowers on it. It hung down to the middle of her shins and fell like a bell over her hips. She adored it, absolutely adored it. Her painted toes pointed as she walked- like those of a ballerina, as she baretted down the unseeable path. The wind blew, chilling her. She wrapped her arms around herself, trying to warm her skin up a little bit.

Something rustled in the bushes. Gia stopped. She turned slowly, afraid of what it could be. She did not know why she froze. Logic said to run away. Whatever it was could see her plainly. Standing still would not change her fate. Slowly, for some stupid reason, she turned around. Logic should have screamed to her that she did not need to see the threat to know that there was one- she needed to run. The only problem was- she couldn’t. It felt like her body was frozen there- cold and stiff, immune to the senses of touch and smell, unable to recognize fear. She only thought of those rustling leaves and what dark creature could be lurking behind them.

22/ I Can Save Myself

Slowly- achingly so, a paw stepped out. A russet brown, it was a beautiful color- the shade of Irene’s hair almost, Gia realized with a pang. However, she could not focus on that because what was attached to that paw appeared. An enormous wolf walked out. Its head was high so it could look at her with piercing black eyes. It took a step towards her as three others revealed themselves. They sniffed the air around them and all turned at once to face her, teeth slightly bared. She squeaked loudly and took off running.

You are not supposed to look at the ground when you run. It only slows you down. No, you move faster whenever you look straight ahead and pump your arms. Gia was well aware of this- but she also knew that she could fall if she did not look out for protuberant roots or sharp rocks. One fall- one stumble into the useless heroine of a movie, and she could die. There was no hero this time. There was nothing except her and the hot pants behind her. This time, she resolved, she would save herself. She could do this. She did not need anyone to rescue her. She was strong and determined. She could do this alone.

Determination increased ten-fold, Gia’s pace quickened. Her steps grew longer and her knees rose higher, arms pumping as fast as she could make them. I will save myself, was her mantra. She chanted it over and over again, each word only increasing her resolve. Her dress flew about her like a morning lily, the bell-like skirt. She wasn’t sure if it was tearing on branches and shrubbery- she did not care. All she had to do was run.

23/ But You Don’t Have To

He always was there when she needed him the most. She ran through the woods, terrified. Without warning, Alec leapt out of a clump of bushes with a feral snarl. He made Gia scream in surprise and relief. The wolves behind them holed malignantly. Alec looked around. With Gia’s negating powers, he was not sure enough in his abilities to get them away from the fight fast enough.

Even though she didn’t recognize them, he most certainly did. The shape-shifters. He knew them from the Cullen incident a few years ago. The only thing he could do was fight. He would fight to the death for her.

24/ Guardian Angel

He had always been there, had always protected her. Without a doubt, he was her guardian angel. So when he told her to run, she froze. Her hands grew sweaty and her brain stopped working. It was an out of body experience. She saw everything: her own body included, and heard everything. Still, she could not move an inch. Everything was so surreal.

The russet wolf seemed to be the leader. It bared its teeth threateningly, and snapped its jaws. Snow white drool rushed out of its mouth in waves. Oh God, it was rabid.

“Gia! Run!” Alec screamed. There was no authority in his voice, no demands. Jut pure desperation. Desperation and fear.

The wolf crouched down low, squared its shoulders as it made ready to attack. “Gia, please!” Alec cried. He was begging her to run.

She knew that he presence was hurting him. As long as she stood near him, he was not a vampire. He could not fight. He didn’t stand a chance against the feral beast. But she couldn’t bear to tear herself away from the tree that she had to prop herself against. Her eyes could not leave the horrifying scene.

The wolf lunged.

25/ Death

“NOOOOOOOOoooooooooooooooooooooooo!” Gia screamed. She threw her arm around Alec, effectively spinning them so her back faced the mongrel. Alec had saved her life many times. He was her personal angel. Now, it was time to return the favor. She could not leave him there to die, but she could at least give him a quick and painless death. She braced herself, ready for the pain and to meet God.

26/ Miracle

It was Divine Providence that saved her life, Alec was sure of it. For as soon as the beast’s claws touched her smooth back, the fur vanished and the claws retracted. It was a human hand that touched her, leaving no marks. Gia was stunned as were the other shape-shifters to see the wolf-man hybrid lying before her feet, as if it were paying homage to her.

27/ Anger

No one had ever been angry on his behalf before. He found himself enjoying her protectiveness. The idiotic wolf appeared to be dumbstruck. No one had ever told him off before.

“You conniving son of a bitch!” she screamed. They were standing in the Cullen’s kitchen. Once they had returned from fleeing the startled wolves, they were met by the pack and the Cullens. All was explained. Gia, the only human in a house full of monsters, was ready to draw blood. “What the hell were you thinking?”

“What the hell was I thinking?” Jacob Black roared, “What about you? What were you thinking?”

I was taking a peaceful and supposedly relaxing walk through the woods whenever you attacked me! That’s what!” Gia screamed.

“You shouldn’t have been on our land!” Black snorted defensively.

Gia scoffed. “I was on the Cullen’s property, you idiot! Alec showed me where it ended so I made sure not to go there! It’s not like I wanted to get eaten!”

“Hah! You’re more likely to get eaten by anyone here as opposed to my pack!”

“I don’t think so! Thus far, I have never felt threatened by a vampire! It’s your gaggle of freaks that tried to eat me!” Gia informed them at the top of her lungs.

The female wolf snarled.

“Shut up, bitch,” Gia snapped.

“Leah!” Black warned, “We were not going to eat you.” He tried to keep his voice even. “We just picked up the scent of several new vampires and feared for the Cullens.”

“You thought I was a vampire?” Gia asked skeptically.

“Yes. It is our duty to destroy any vampire that may cross our paths,” the young alpha said solemnly.

“Hah!” Gia barked. “What about the Cullens? You’re a liar, Jacob Black, and liars go to Hell.”

“The Cullens are different!” Black snarled. “They do not harm humans! We only destroy those who are abominations!”

“Abominations?” Gia asked for clarification.

“Yes. We destroy those who hunt humans. It is our duty to erase them from the earth.” As he said this, he looked directly at Alec. Neither had forgotten their first encounter.

“How dare you, you son of a bitch! What gives you the right to do that?”

“Excuse me?” Black tried to interrupt but Gia did not stop her tirade.

“NOTHING! That’s what. Nothing gives you the right to kill someone! They are people just the same as you and me, and every time you kill a vampire, you are committing murder. YOU ARE A FUCKING MURDERER!

“MURDERER!” she screamed.

“You high and might pompous ass! You have no right! You have no right! Damn you! To say that you are the righteous and that vampires are evil is the most tight assed thing I have ever heard. You cannot elevate yourself to the position of saviors of the human race! You are not a messiah, Jacob Black! You are a sinner, just like me! You are not good enough to redeem your own life, let alone anyone else’s!

“By killing an innocent vampire, you are solidifying your own place in Hell! You cannot do that! They are God’s children too! Each one has a precious life and to destroy it is the ultimate sin!”

“GOD!?!” Black roared. His entire body started to shake. He was going to change. Alec stepped forward, ready to intervene, but Demetri placed a hand on his shoulder. The respected vampire shook his head no and Alec was forced to watch. He was rip Black apart piece by piece if anything hurt his Gia. “GOD DID NOT CREATE VAMPIRES! They are the work of the devil and they all need to be exterminated from the world!”

“Then you need to go along with them!” Gia screamed. Her face was blood red and the blue veins bulged violently out of her neck. “If God did not create vampires, he did not create you shape-shifters! I have heard about your legends! Your transforming came about as some type of voodoo tribal magic, something not of God! If Alec is a create of the devil than so are you, you filthy mongrel! You are just as bad, just as evil as any vampire, maybe even more! There is no way on earth, in Heaven or Hell that you have even the tiniest right to destroy them. There is nothing righteous about it! You do it because deep down, you are EVIL!”

28/ Winning

Just like Alec, she always won. The wolf couldn’t challenge her claim.

29/ Horror Movies

She later commented to Bella Cullen that werewolves were more frequently the culprit in horror movies than vampires. This made him curious. As she slept, he watched movie after movie; she was correct. Werewolves were often the villain in human cinema. Who knew that even ignorant humans had bias?

30/ Nightmares

Sometimes, she would watch the movies with him. Before Alec had met her, she always got nightmares from them. He kept them away. Plain and simple.

31/ Compassion

After introducing him to horror movies, Gia showed him action/adventure movies, romances, comedies, every genre available and more it seemed. She always shut her eyes tight and plugged her ears with her fingers during a particularly embarrassing moment for the protagonist. Later, she told him that she felt what they were feeling, and she didn’t want them to feel bad. The depth of her caring always astounded him.

32/ Knee Socks

Gia always had a particularly odd fashion sense. She absolutely adored knee socks. Heidi or Adrianna, it seemed, brought her a new pair each day. She squealed and spun around, and never seemed to take them off. Her favorite outfit was her lime green knee socks with light blue polka dots on them, a pair of blue plaid boxer shorts and a tight blue camisole. Heidi would cringe whenever she walked into the room, but Alec thought it was adorable.

33/ Metamorphosis

Alec gripped Gia’s hand as her breathing turned shallow. He had never heard anyone breath so little. Unconsciously, his breaths became deeper and deeper. It was almost of if he was trying to breathe for her, he realized. Watching her beautiful eyes be hidden by her large dinner plate sized pupils. She stared at the ceiling, transfixed with its image, as if she stared at something holy. He spoke to her, but she did not answer. Her body was on fire with clammy chills. She shivered, despite the fire that raged inside her, no doubt. He covered her with blankets and hped that she would stop looking like she was dying. But she was, he reminded himself. Caius had finally found a way to bypass her unnatural defense ability. He had the weakest vampire in the Guard bite her. All he could do was sit back and watch her suffer. And that hurt more than anything he had ever endured.

34/ Butterfly

She was just as peculiar as a vampire as she was a human. Her eyes snapped open after her brutal transformation. Immediately, she searched for Alec and he lowered his head to hers, worry etched firmly onto his face. His hand clasped hers tightly.

“What’s wrong?” she asked, as her chest rose up and down, her shirt clinging to her like a second skin because of her salty sweat.

All he could do was stare. Stare into her same pair of navy eyes. Her skin was still a deep olive color, and she was still somewhat warm to the touch. She did not look like she was having any trouble with the burning of the thirst. She looked completely the same. Smelled the same. The only way he knew that the transformation had worked was because she moved with the swiftness and the grace of a vampire.

35/ Hunting

The first time he took her out to hunt was amazing. She flew across the rooftops of Voltera, her eyes scanning for the unwary human. Beware world, Gia hunted for the first time. She suddenly let out a desperate cry and dropped six stories to land in front of a pregnant woman. Before he could stop her, she sank her teeth into the woman’s jugular and succumbed to the darker side of her new nature. He watched, entranced by her behavior, and curious to her response once her head cleared.

36/ Disgusted

When she realized what she had done, she screamed and cried and ranted. She locked herself in her room and told Alec that she hated him: that she never wanted to see him again.

37/ Blame

She tried to tell herself that it wasn’t her fault, that he should have stopped her. She knew it was a lie.

38/ Punishment

He had inflicted several cuts on his arms when she told him that she hated him. Too bad it did nothing to alleviate the pain he felt.

39/ Regret

She cried the entire night that she told him she hated him. Sadly, she was the only vampire who could ever cry.

40/ Apology

It was a week before she left their room. Another before she could look him in the eye. And it was only in front of the entire coven could she confess her sins and as his forgiveness. He could never withhold it from her. He had missed her far too much to ever judge her. His apology was much more private.

41/ Carnal

He quickly realized just how carnal of a creature Gia was. One would have thought that with her past, she would have been incredibly to pursue a physical relationship. In reality, it was the other way around.

42/ Acceptance

Gia was alone in the hallway whenever a shadow fell upon her. She turned to see Jane standing not three feet away from her, glaring at her. For a long time, they did nothing but look at each other. Without warning, Jane said, “Welcome to our family, sister.”

She then turned and walked away, leaving a stunned Gia in her wake.

43/ Talent

She was uniquely gifted. Gia appeared human to any eye. Yet she could project her humanity onto any being at any time. Only then, did she appear to fully be a vampire. She looked magnificent with her snow white skin, dominating ruby eyes, and dangerous whenever she flicked out her tongue piercing.

44/ Warning

“Be careful with her,” Demetri warned. It was just the two of them in the foyer. Night was quickly coming. Alec had promised to take Gia out to look at the town. She had not seen it in almost a year. The search for her had died down and it was safe again for her to leave. Demetri had offered to wait with Alec while she got ready.

“What do you mean?” Alec looked at his mentor, questioning him and angry with him.

“She might truly love you, Alec. But she had an indominantable spirit. Nothing will ever fully control her. She will run again, Alec. Maybe in a year, maybe in a hundred years, but she will try to. You best be sure that you have your priorities straight, for it very well may be you who must punish her disobedience.”

Alec never gave Demetri an answer. He walked out with Gia arm in arm, and did not look back. But secretly, his friend’s advice troubled him more than he ever wanted to admit.

45/ The Truth

The only reason Jane spoke to Gia was because Alec was secretly watching. Jane still hated her twin’s mate with a burning passion. She let Gia know this several times when it was just the two of them. Jane had once swore to herself that Gia would be her plaything. She was now keeping up on that promise. It pleased her even more that Gia did not speak of it to anyone. She suffered in silence, and Jane had to respect her for that.

46/ Eating Habits

Though she could still eat human food and enjoy it, she partook in the coven feeding feasts to please the masters and her mate. No one never knew if she enjoyed it. She too kept silent on that matter. Jane, again, was forced to respect her silent strength.

47/ Home

Aro sent him and Heidi to check on her family, make sure that they were suspicious of nothing. When he told her, the happy smile on her face fell into a cold frown. Leaning forward, he whispered seductively in her ear, “This is your home now.”

48/ Pain

Being away from her for any duration of time caused him more pain than Jane could ever hope to inflict.

Being away from him, she only could think about her family, and wondered who she missed more.

49/ Happy

She had been kidnapped from her home, her world, and had been taken into his. So why was she happy?

50/ Peace

They often lay together, bodies intertwined. No words were ever spoken. They were just happy to be alive, and be together. He would stroke her bare stomach softly, or kiss her neck gently. She would lean into him, finding comfort in his touch. She was the most beautiful thing that he had ever seen…until she stared at him with ruby eyes unlike any other.

Though she never spoke it, he knew it: Gia truly needed Alec to survive. That thought comforted him. Just like his perfect mate, he never told her that he felt the exact same way.