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Waste-of-time friendships

Summary:
Bella seems to attract every queer person within a ten mile radius. Vampires, werewolves... She's seen it all. But what she's missing is a human friend. And of course, Bella wouldn't be Bella unless that person was strange and possibly dangerous, too. Mythical creature expertise doesn't always help with humans.


Notes:
There are a few things to say about this story : Amelia often thinks about drugs, drinking, suicide, etc. Although the actual act is never shown in my story, I suggest you don't read on if those topics make you uneasy. It's nothing major, though. I would like to thank my beta, bloodredskies for editing my work. She went through each chapter for me, and has been a great help. And lastly, I'd like to remind everyone to review. It's honestly the best gift you can give to any author, and how else could I improve if I don't know what you're thinking? Just spare me a minute once you're done.


10. Calm Disaster

Rating 5/5   Word Count 2783   Review this Chapter

The following weeks passed rapidly.

The dull, gray days were spent with Bella, our ever-growing friendship bringing light into the darkness of even my miserable existence. Life was suddenly not worthless and hollow for me, and soon I found myself looking forward to waking up in the morning and facing another day.

Why Bella had this effect on me, I did not know, though I'd thought about it long and intensely. I liked the girl a lot – her open-mindedness and tolerance for my flaws amazed me time after time; the pleasure for books which we both shared always gave us a new topic to discuss; her understanding of my thoughts and sentiments was new to me. But I had known myself for too long – surely I couldn't be emotionally attached to her? I had never liked anyone; why would this specific girl have caught my attention?

But once a week had passed, I couldn't lie to myself anymore.

Bella was my friend.

No other word could describe the ridiculous longing I had for her presence. When she wasn't around I felt horrible, like the girl I'd used to be before meeting her. I might even go as far as to say I loved her; she was the older sister my mother had failed to bring to life.

Our days were not without difficulties. Every now and then I would fall back to distrusting her – human character was so troublesome to change – and uttered a few cutting words which hurt Bella deeply, try as hard as she might to hide it. No, my own character hadn't changed, but my thoughts caught up with me fairly quickly, and I was able to apologize without further arguments most of the time. Our longest quarrel lasted only a few hours, after which I'd appeared at her doorstep again, begging for forgiveness in the quiet way that was so usual of me. I didn't talk much when I regretted something, but Bella understood what I was wishing to say without needing any words for explanation.

Was that another definition of the word 'friend'? Someone who comprehended the other's feelings and thoughts without needing a guide?

Apart from my occasional mistrust, our friendship was easy, flowing. All in all, I was kind to Bella, nearly as kind as she was to me, but I never had to change my personality while I was at it. When talking to Bella, I let myself chatter freely, and often didn't even recognize my frenzied voice when I came to a topic that particularly interested me.

But as nice as I was to Bella, my behavior around other people hadn't changed much. I'd shocked Bella many times by being unreasonably rude with Charlie, or by suddenly dropping in an inappropriate comment to one of the Cullens. Rosalie was my favorite victim – Edward's older sister was outrageously beautiful, even more so than any other member of their family. Yet her personality was the most flawed, and I never failed to use this weakness against her. It was easy to irritate her – a simple comment about her superficiality always did the job. After hearing me speak, she would leave with a loud "humph" and lock herself up in her room for the rest of the day.

The rest of the Cullens were all right, I guess, though I couldn't help but sense their strange ways while observing them. I spent many hours at the Cullens – much to Bella's and Rosalie's dismay, I should add – and therefore had plenty of opportunities to continue my theorizing. Carlisle was not around a lot, as he spent most of his time at the hospital, but he seemed kind enough. Esme, the woman who had greeted me on the very first day, was absolutely lovable; I couldn't imagine being rude to her. Rosalie's husband Emmett (the Cullens seemed to marry young – must be the money) was endurable, though he didn't approve of my attacks at his admired wife. Alice was… enthusiastic, as I soon found out. She jumped all over the place, and never spoke of anything but the upcoming wedding. I'd snapped at her countless times, mostly because her bubbly nature didn’t fit to mine at all, but always ended up apologizing when I saw the ridiculous puppy-look in her eyes.

Her husband Jasper was an interesting case. I didn’t see him a lot, either, but used whatever excuse I could to see him. He was quiet and reserved, the contrast between him and his wife vast, and seemed to disappear each time I came to visit. The more I observed him, the surer I was of my theory – whatever secret Bella was keeping from me, it definitely involved Jasper. Her expression became immensely apologizing every time she saw him, making me wonder what on earth it was that she was sorry for.

But while I found most of the Cullen family fairly manageable, I couldn't erase the repulsion I felt towards Edward.

This was my secret from Bella – I never told her how annoyed I was by his constant presence and over-protectiveness. In a way, I envied him, for whenever he was around Bella devoted her full attention to him, and momentarily forgot my existence while smiling one of her dreamy smiles. Each time it reminded me of how I was not a priority in her life, the way she was for me. My days revolved around Bella Swan; her thoughts were constantly with him.

No, I never told Bella how much I despised him. But I never particularly hid it, either.

Edward and I led a constant, silent battle – we communicated through looks, through gestures… through thoughts? I nearly believed in my own telepathic abilities when sometimes my hate filled thoughts seemed to reach him. It was irrational, in a way, but the streams of profanities I shot at him through my body language were too satisfying to give up on.

We tolerated each other for Bella's sake. She was the only reason for our truce.

Only one week was left before the wedding when I started worrying again. I was anxious that Bella might forget me, as she was leaving straight for college once she returned from her honeymoon. Who knew how long our separation would be – A few months? A year?

An eternity?

Yes, that was what I was afraid of. Something about Bella's manner whenever I mentioned it gave her lie away – there was more to her entering college than publicly known. Was her departure more permanent than she'd revealed?

I didn't dare to think of it.

But with only a few days left until our possibly final goodbye, I couldn't handle the insecurity anymore. I simply had to know. She just had to tell me.

So one day, I ambushed her as soon as we arrived at her home. "Are you excited about college?"

Apart from the usual startle, there was another emotion in her eyes – worry? My changed tone had obviously tipped her off. She knew what I was getting at before I'd even spoken.

"I suppose I am."

She didn't even bother hanging a casual 'Why?' to the end.

The first raindrops of the day started falling, indicating that the weather predictions might just be right for the day – a thunderstorm was approaching Forks.

While I prepared myself for the cross-examination, Edward shifted closer to his fiancée and wrapped an arm around her shoulders. The position annoyed me – his stance was just about screaming at me to let the matter drop.

This, of course, only encouraged me.

"So… What college are you going to, again?"

Bella didn't even have time to open her mouth before Edward answered for her. "Alaska."

His voice was firm, definite.

"I'm sorry, but I believe I asked Bella, didn't I?" I used the politest, yet most venomous tone I had, a voice which I reserved particularly for the gorgeous man before me. His now dark golden eyes – Did they shift color with his moods? – stared deep into mine, daring me to venture further into the subject.

But intense looks couldn't scare me. Oh no, he'd have to do much more than that.

Bella glanced from me to him and back again, evaluating the suddenly tense atmosphere in the room. I met her gaze with mine, and smiled in a way that probably didn't convince her that everything was well. "Where in Alaska, exactly?"

"Um..," Bella began, but was rudely interrupted by Edward again.

"It's a small town. I doubt you'd like to visit."

That was the last straw.

I stood up swiftly, nearly knocking Bella off the couch as I did. "I wasn't speaking to you."

Edward, who had caught Bella before she could fall down, gently set her down again and rose to meet my glare.

His face was composed, but his fierce, dark eyes revealed his prominent emotions – annoyance, even rage. I must admit – in his current state, he was the most bloodcurdling creature I'd ever seen.

"Her answer would have been the same as mine." His tone was more tranquil and polite than his eyes suggested, but I could still hear the temper boiling beneath all the tiresome covers.

It seemed to have alarmed Bella too, for she quickly stood up and placed her tiny hand on Edward's forearm. "Please."

He leaned back slightly, but didn't take his eyes off mine while softly pushing Bella behind him protectively. "I'm sorry, love. It was very rude of me to speak to your friend like that. I apologize."

I could only snort at his civil words.

Please, who did he think I was? Was he stuck in the 19th century or something?

To my great surprise, a tiny smile lightened up Edward's cold features for a split second before the familiar coldness returned.

"Maybe you should leave, Amelia," Bella spoke from behind Edward's back, trying to lean over his shoulder while addressing me.

But though her words were clear as day, I couldn't comprehend them.

"Me? Why should I leave? He started it!"

I didn't care that I sounded like a five-year-old. I didn't care that Edward was staring at me with his frosty eyes, naturally agreeing with everything Bella said.

Once again, Bella had picked him over me. Once again, she had shown me to whom her heart really belonged.

"I-I… I didn't mean it like that, Amelia! You can come over later. But you two obviously don't get along so I thought…”

"But why me?!"

I was shaking from the anger. Waves of every emotion possible washed through me; fury, disappointment, mistrust, sadness, all demanding some sort of action from me. My head swelled from endless thoughts; I heard the screaming voices that emerged whenever I was enraged.

And I was enraged.

Edward reacted by pushing Bella onto the couch and taking a step towards me. "Calm down."

Wrong move, darling.

I backed away from the suddenly intimidating man, and ran out of the room.

Was I heading home? Was I taking Bella's advice and leaving?

No. My mind only revolved around one single thing. And that thing was labeled "Eliminate Edward".

If my memory served me correctly, Charlie had left his gun home while visiting the Indian reservation a few miles from here. How unwise of him.

Bella gasped as I entered the room with the weapon in my hand.

Edward had clearly already made all necessary steps to keep Bella from harm's way. He was positioned in front of her in a more tense position than ever, and monitored my every move as I stepped further into the room. I kept the pipe firmly aimed at his chest.

"Amelia, put the gun down." His voice was commanding, yet careful. To my great disappointment, no panic was visible in his eyes, though the fury was overflowing. But he seemed to have only one goal – to keep Bella safe. Too bad he didn't think of himself while he protected her.

My breaths were ragged as I stepped closer to my target. "I've had enough of you and your revolting manners."

"I know you have. But we can settle this peacefully. Please, Amelia. Think about Bella."

The lastly mentioned was covering behind Edward, clearly trying to think of something to say, but not finding the right words to utter.

"I think about her a lot, you know. She's my best friend. But she'll never quite be mine, though, will she? Because she'll always have you." The new feeling that I'd recognized as envy flared up in me again.

I continued in a shriller voice. "You don't deserve to be chosen over me! Only because you're handsome, and rich, and gentlemanlike, and… and perfect!!"

Edward never lost his calm as I spoke, in a way that made me think thathe had heard this all before. Heck, he probably had. Every girl he met most likely either completely idolized him or thought the same way as I did.

A flash of light illuminated the room for an instant, casting a fierce glow over Edward's flawless face. His now nearly black eyes almost pierced through my skin.

The world wasn't just! Men like him – perfect, attractive men – ruled the world. I had always stepped aside for them, Alex had moved out of the way for them, and this was the result? The one good thing that had happened to me in such a long time was going to be ripped away over another one of those filthy, useless liars

Thunder echoed through the still house, replacing the sound of my and Bella's frantic breathing for a second.

"Put the gun down."

His orders were futile.

I closed my eyes before pulling down the trigger.

For Bella. For Alex. For myself.

Click.

My eyes flashed open. Why "click"?

I'd been expecting a "Bum" or a "Paff" or a "Rat-tat-tat" for all I cared, but a "click"?

My eyes met Edward's. His gaze had never left my face.

The rain outside eased for a moment, and the intervals between the thunder grew longer. All was still for the moment.

Edward stared at me with his pitch-black eyes.

Bella quivered behind his back.

And I struggled for breath as I realized what I'd almost done.

"Put the gun down, Amelia," Edward repeated his request, and this time, I obeyed him. I placed the handgun carefully on the floor and took a step back.

Before my foot was firmly on the ground, Edward snatched the weapon. For a fleet second, I feared he was intending to hurt me now that my own attack had failed, but before my fears could plant themselves in my head, he hid the gun behind his back and released his grip on Bella.

The latter glanced at me. The expression on her face scared me to the core.

"I-I'm sorry… I didn't mean to… I just…"

"Go."

Never before had I seen her this angry. Never before had she been so cold.

"Bella… please… I-I truly am sorry. I don't know what happened…"

"Go."

The usually so vivid, deep eyes stared at me hard and cold. Edward's threatening features meant nothing next to the remoteness that I saw there.

I gulped, but didn't budge.

"What can I do to…"

"Nothing."

"There must be…"

"Nothing."

"But…"

"You attempted to kill the reason of my existence. That is not something I consider pardonable. I thought you were my friend, but apparently, I was wrong. Now leave."

I looked at Bella for one last time and fled.

My legs had never run faster than they did then. I was out of the house in a matter of seconds, and darting down the wet road soon afterwards. The storm hadn't entirely passed yet; the last flashes of lightning lit up the sky at random intervals, casting an eerie light over the trees. My boots splattered the puddles of water as they hit them with full force.

And for the first time in weeks, my other "voice" got its say. Its tone was mocking while it spoke, but the theme of its short speech had changed. There were no more spiteful comments about my environment. No more hate filled insults.

This time, it accused me.

Congratulations. You drove away the only good thing that ever happened to you. You lost your friend.