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Goodbye

Summary:
Alternate ending to New Moon. As the months continue Bella continues to slowly heal. But tragedy strikes again, creating a domino affect with everything in her life. With Edward gone, who will save her? New chapters finally added!


Notes:


2. Chapter 2: Hurting the Ones We Love

Rating 5/5   Word Count 738   Review this Chapter

I was unaware of time, the people around, where I was. I knew that I was sitting, but didn’t know where. My eyes were open but I saw nothing. I welcomed the silence. My head filled with the chaos of the past few days. I wanted to block it all out, but somehow the memories of the look in Emily’s eyes kept resurfacing. And then there were the memories of him that kept pulling me under.

“Are you okay?” His familiar husky comforting voice brought me to back reality. The haze dissipated as I realized where I was.

Jacob and I sat on his couch, there was no one around. The only sounds were the rain falling against the roof, and beating against the windows. It was dark outside, and looked like it could be around six o’clock, but that could just be an illusion of the clouds. I turned to see Jacobs face. I blinked as his familiar features triggered something in my mind.

“Bella?” he asked again, confused.

I could feel the blank expression that my face held. What was wrong with me?

I gulped, finding my voice. “I’m fine.” I smiled, hoping he believed me…he didn’t.

I turned away from him, and fell back into my own thoughts. It wasn’t safe here in this part of my mind, but I couldn’t find a way out. His words filled my head again “You don’t realize how incredibly breakable you are. I can never, never afford to lose any kind of control when I’m with you.” I could feel my chest crumbling, it was getting harder to breathe. I was painfully aware that Jacob sat right next to me, watching carefully as my insanity took over. He watched warily as I gasped for air. My arms automatically wrapped around my torso, keeping me from completely curling over into a ball.

“Bella?” Jacob asked again.

“I’m fine.” I said this time with anger. I didn’t want him to see me like this, I didn’t want him asking me if I was ok. I wasn’t.

He looked at me hurt by the hint of resentment in my voice. I loved Jacob like a brother, he was my absolute best friend. He was the only person I felt entirely comfortable with. No one was able to make me feel this human in so long. He had in so many ways saved me. He was helping put back what pieces of my heart he could find, and for that I was eternally grateful. But right now, his intense gaze locked on my face, watching me fall to pieces sent waves of frustration throughout my failing body. I loved being around him, but there was a sudden hint of irritation I felt towards him. The very last person that could ever annoy me was suddenly on my very last nerve. He was only concerned for me, but with the sudden death of Emily my mind had been totally turned upside down, and I wasn’t thinking clearly.

“Are you sure?”

“Yes Jacob I’m fine.” I said irritated. “I just need time to think.”

“Okay.” he said shyly, but with a trace of anger.

I didn’t want to hurt him, but I couldn’t control myself. I needed to leave before I said anything that I would regret.

“I better go home, Charlie’s probably wondering where’s dinner.” I stood up and headed to the door.

“Bella are you sure your okay, you look…” he paused, searching for the right words. “Well maybe you just shouldn’t drive, I’ll drive you home.” He stood and met me at the door.

“I’m fine, Jacob. I can drive myself home.” I wanted to leave, before the anger spilled out , and I said something horrible.

I grabbed my jacket, and pulled it over my shoulders. I opened the door, shoving past Jacob, and headed to my car in the rain. I put the keys in the ignition and the engine roared to life. I stared back at Jacob standing in the door way. He was hurt and confused. A wave of guilt washed over me. I didn’t like hurting him and didn’t understand why I was. But suddenly the world look different to me, and I was taking it out on him. The only person that really understood me. I wiped away the tears of guilt that had unknowingly reached my cheeks, and drove away, leaving him standing in the door hurt beyond my knowing.