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Goodbye

Summary:
Alternate ending to New Moon. As the months continue Bella continues to slowly heal. But tragedy strikes again, creating a domino affect with everything in her life. With Edward gone, who will save her? New chapters finally added!


Notes:


3. Chapter 3: Losing Control

Rating 5/5   Word Count 1643   Review this Chapter

Charlie was home when I arrived. He was sitting in front of the TV watching some sport.

“Bella?” he called out, standing up and heading towards the kitchen.

“Hi Dad.” I said, not trying to fake happiness.

I went straight to the kitchen. He had ordered pizza, which was fine by me I didn’t feel like cooking.

“I wasn’t sure when you were going to be home, so I ordered pizza.” he said, picking up another piece out of the box. “So…how was it?” he asked warily.

I chose my words carefully. “It was fine.” What did you say when someone asked how a funeral was?

“Are you okay?” he asked, studying my face.

“I’m fine. It’s been along day I just want to go to sleep.” I didn’t feel like talking. I already was walking away, making my way up the stairs.

“Alright, goodnight Bells.” he said sadly.

“Goodnight Dad.”

I left him standing in the kitchen. I headed to the bathroom. The warm water felt great, helping relieve me from my horrible daydreams. I finished and put on sweatpants and a old t-shirt. I slowly combed through my knotted hair, then brushed my teeth. Then I headed back to my empty room. I crawled into bed, not quite tired, but was to lazy to do anything else.

I stared at the ceiling, hoping that sleep would just suck me in, but I still had some energy. I looked at the clock, it was still early only 7:30. I stared back at the ceiling. The memorizes crept back up and fully pulled me under.

The day Emily had died, I was at her house, helping her cook breakfast. Sam and the rest of the boys were out tracking Victoria. Emily was in a bad mood. She never spoke, only when instructing me what to do next, even then it was brief.

We had gone to the store earlier to pick up some needed essentials for breakfast. We were in the produce isle, when a short, stocky women stopped directly in front of us. Emily was looking at the apples, trying to find the best ones. The women wasn’t examining any fruit, she stopped to stare at Emily. I stayed by the cart and stared at the women who obviously had no manners.

She had short brown hair, that was styled into a bob. She must have been only 5’0”. She was a husky women who sort of waddled when she walked. She obviously wasn’t from around here, probably a tourist. She had her cart parked in front of ours. Her hands gripping the handle, as her eyes curiously looked at Emily.

My eyebrows furrowed together, as I watched her blatantly stare at Emily. Her eyes moved slowly over Emily’s scarred face, then her eyes moved down seeing as the scars continued down her arm. I couldn’t believe this women. She was probably the rudest person I had ever seen in my entire life. How could she consciously stand there and stare at Emily as if she was a freak show? How could anyone be that heartless?

I looked at Emily her fingers moving across each apple examining which one would most likely taste the best. She looked at ease, not even noticing the women’s intense gaze. Maybe she was used to this. Or maybe she really was just caught up in her own world that she hadn’t even noticed the women.

Finally Emily finished and turned to put the package of apples into the cart. I watched as her eyes finally met the women’s. It must of caught the short women off guard, cause as soon as Emily met her gaze the women flinched and started rummaging her through her purse, as if she was looking for something. I obviously was standing right in front of her, and had watched as she stared, but she didn’t even notice me. She stopped going through her bag. She kept her face low, her eyes peeked through her eyelashes and started staring again. Emily hadn’t moved, she kept her eyes fixated on the women.

The women didn’t back down this time, she just continued making faces of horror every time she saw the scars. “Oh, what happened, that looks horrible?” she said, pointing at Emily.

“Excuse me?!” I answered before Emily could. This ignorant women was pushing me to the edge. I hated the look she had in her eyes, as she stared.

“Well I just mean…” she said sensing my anger.

“Do you do this often? Go around deliberately pointing out peoples flaws.” The courage that my voice held surprised me. Emily didn’t deserve this.

“Well no…it’ just…” she stumbled over her words, realizing her rude manner. “I mean…” We stood waiting for an answer, but she never finished her sentence. She simple turned her head away, and pushed along her cart.

The silence was deafening once the women was gone. Neither Emily nor I broke the silence. I didn’t know what to say, and I knew my words wouldn’t comfort her.

We left the store and returned back to Emily’s house. She immediately started stirring up a gigantic bowl of eggs - the boys appetites had grown, and so did the amount of eggs used. The boys arrived only minutes after.

Jacob came directly came to my side. “You okay?”

“Yeah.” I simply said. I wasn’t paying attention to him, I was watching as Sam went to say hello to Emily.

She never took her eyes away from the eggs she pushed around in a huge pan. Sam was the last to come through the door. He put his hand at the small of her back, and leaned into her ear. I couldn’t hear what he said, but watched as he mouthed something, then kissed her cheek. She pushed away from him. My eyes widened as I saw her reaction.

“Emily?” he spoke loud enough for everyone to hear. Every pair of eyes looked in there direction, as Sam looked at Emily confused. “What’s wrong?”

She ignored him and continued cooking the eggs.

“Emily?!” He was growing impatient. The long silence stretching on. He grabbed her arm, forcing her to turn and face him. “Emily, what’s the matter?” His eyes were fierce. But Emily turned away from him.

It felt wrong to stare at them while they fought, but it was like a car crash that you couldn’t look away from.

“You want to know what’s wrong?” She faced him, the anger that had been festering finally finding it’s way out. “This is what’s wrong.” She pointed to her scarred face, her eyes filling with tears.

Everyone stared at them as they continued to fight as though no one was around.

“What?!”

“You wanted to know. Well this.” She continued to point to her face. “Because of you people look at me like I’m a freak.” Her voice was pained with resentment.

She quickly looked at me. “Bella can you please finish the eggs?” She asked nicely, but her face was dripping with tears.

“Yeah.” I simply said and quickly went to the stove.

The eggs were already finished. I plated them and put them on the table. No one moved to touch the food they’re eyes fixated on Sam and Emily.

“Emily, where is this coming from?” Sam voice wasn’t angry, just confused and heartbroken by her words.

“That stupid women in the store today. She just stared and stared like I was some kind a freak. And why?” She was moving away from everyone and heading into her room. The door slammed, but it didn’t silence there voices at all. “BECAUSE OF YOU!”

I didn’t want to hear them. There love made me sick, but them fighting brought on a totally different sickness. Their love was so true, that even when they fought it hurt me. I sat on a chair, pulled my legs up to my chest, and covered my ears. Paul, Embry and Jared started eating, but Jacob came to sit next to me. He put his arm around my shoulder and held me closely.

I jumped at the sound of the door swinging open, and then suddenly slamming shut. I couldn’t drown out there screams anymore they were to close.

Sam was shaking uncontrollably. The waves of anger flowing through his body. He was so upset. I had never seen him like this.

“I’m sorry. I’m going to spend the rest of my life making this up to you.” he pleaded with her, but he couldn’t stop shaking, the anger threatening to take him over.

Jacob saw this, and went to his side.
“Sam calm down. It’ll be ok, calm down.”

Sam simply pushed Jake back, not hearing a word he said. Jacob didn’t leave his side.

“That’s not good enough! People will always look at me and point and why?! Why?!” She was yelling at the top of her lungs, putting so much anger and hate into each word she spoke. Intentionally putting as much hurt on him as possible.

“Well then what do you want me to do?! Nothing I’ve said seems to mean anything!” he yelled shaking his hands over his head. His eyes wide, his nostrils flaring, as he moved closer to Emily’s face.

“Nothing. I don’t want you to do anything.” she screamed through gritted teeth.

There was a sudden rip, of Sam losing control. Emily’s face suddenly turned from anger and resentment, to fear, fear for her own life. Her eyes held such an indescribable panic. She knew that she had gone way to far. Pushing Sam - who had such control over himself, who was always calm and collected - way to far, past even his own limits.

I shook my head coming back to the present. Emily’s eyes permanently imbedded into my memory. I wish that I hadn’t been there to witness it all first hand. This was sure to bring more nightmares.