Text Size Large SizeMedium SizeSmall Size    Color Scheme Black SchemeWhite SchemeGrey SchemePaper Scheme        

Goodbye

Summary:
Alternate ending to New Moon. As the months continue Bella continues to slowly heal. But tragedy strikes again, creating a domino affect with everything in her life. With Edward gone, who will save her? New chapters finally added!


Notes:


4. Chapter 4: Time

Rating 5/5   Word Count 1259   Review this Chapter

I hated Sam. For so long I had blamed him for the weeks that Jacob had gone missing from my life. For forcing him into what I thought was a cult of some sort. Even when Jacob had finally explained everything to me, I still held a little bitterness for him. But as the weeks past and they let me into their secret world, their werewolf bond, after listening to Emily, and after seeing him treat her with such love and care, my feelings changed to like, or at least tolerance.

But now, suddenly my world had changed. Now with the devastating death of Emily, I felt oddly connected with him. Not the way Jacob and I were connected, never like that. It was different. Like me his heart was now missing. He had the person he loved most ripped from his fingers, leaving nothing but emptiness in it’s place. His pain was different - Edward had not been killed - but it felt too close, too alike. I felt so sorry for him. The pain that consumed him must be intolerable. I tried to imagine how he felt, but couldn’t touch it. It was the same, but so entirely different. At least I knew that some where he still existed, but Sam didn’t have that comfort.

I wanted to comfort him. To tell him that it will be ok, that he would eventually heal, that he would be whole again some day. I wanted to be a rock for him, as Jacob has been for me. But I also knew that no matter what I said that no matter all the words I spoke, nothing would make him feel better. He would just need time.

None of the boys wanted to connect with Sam. They all tried to steer away from his thoughts, wanting to give him privacy, because he was so miserable. They didn’t want to feel that pain. They didn’t want to even come close to understanding his pain. They already had seen to much of his thoughts, and didn’t want to know anymore. As soon Sam had done what he did, they all instantly blocked Sam’s thoughts from their minds. Sam instantly was filled with such agony, guilt and self hate, they couldn’t bare it.

Sam also was able to block himself from his brothers. Even if they wanted to speak to him, they could never reach them, it was always just a black void.

The last time anyone had seen Sam was at the funeral, which was almost two week ago. They looked for him, but never could quite reach him. Sam always found a way to disappear. Everyone was getting worried that he might do something…thoughtless, and no one would be able to live with that much loss in such a short time.

* * *

I sat on Jacob's couch, surrounded by the four boys that had in so many ways become my family. As time continued to move forward and my wounds slowly healed, my affection for them grew. Jacob, I would always love, maybe never the way he wanted me to, but he would always hold a very special place in my heart. Paul, Embry and Jared, had become my brothers. They joked and played around with me, and being around all of them had really helped me with becoming an actual person again. But these past two weeks seemed as though there was a constant black cloud over all our heads.

They stood in the kitchen arguing over what to do about Sam. Everyone was a little on edge, they all felt it. The pressure of having to keep a constant eye, on me - was I'm sure getting to them. Not only did they have Sam to worry about, but they still had Victoria out there searching for me, and now the newest thing to worry about was Quil. They all knew it would be soon. His father called and told Jacob that his temperature had suddenly shot up, and it would be any day. Now they needed Sam more than ever.

I worried about Jacob, with Sam gone he had taken on more responsibilities. He sort of took on the role of leader. The others fought with him - they didn't just listen as they would Sam - they argued with Jacob, but in the end followed his instructions.

“We need to find him!”

My head shot up to see Paul shaking with waves of fury.

“Come on Paul, just calm down.” Jacob said trying to ensure he didn’t lose control. “We’ll find him, he just needs time.”

“Well he can’t just forget about the rest of us. I know he’s going through some stuff right now, but he has a lot of responsibilities that he can’t just leave behind.” He was staring at his three remaining brothers. He wasn’t shaking anymore, but he was definitely angry, but he had it under control.

“Paul,” Jacob started.

“No Jacob,” Paul interrupted. “He needs to come back, even if we have to drag him here by the fur on his back!”

I stood up, with my hands on my hips. I had no idea what I was doing, but I couldn’t control myself. “Just butt out Paul! Do you have any idea what he’s going through? No, you can’t even begin to imagine what’s it’s like to be responsible for killing the person you absolutely love most in the world. So just let him have his time!”

They all stood there frozen staring at me wide eyed, in astonishment no doubt. I froze as well, did that really just come out of my mouth? Was I really trying to protect Sam?

“You tell um’ Bella.” I heard Jared say, but couldn’t see his face.

My eyes were fixated on Jacob. His head was cocked to one side, his eyes looking at me with some unknown expression, I wasn’t sure what he was thinking right now, but I wish I knew.

Suddenly all four boys heads turned to the door. I turned my head, but nothing happened. A few seconds later, Sam burst through the doors.

He wore only a pair of pants, that the rain had soaked through. He was completely drenched. He wiped away the rain from his eyes and walked into the house. The room had suddenly become significantly smaller, and I felt considerably tiny.

No one said anything. I looked at Paul, he looked like he had something smart to say, but kept it to himself. He knew his place.

Sam closed the door, and looked at Jacob, they exchanged a look and then Sam walked into Jacobs room. He returned wearing a dry t-shirt and jeans, and was drying off his head with a towel.

“So boys,” he said in a dead tone. “I think it’s time for you all to get out there. Paul and Jared together, and Jacob and Embry. While I was out I came across the scent of that damn bloodsucker a couple times, but she was able to get away. It probably wouldn’t have been too smart to go after her alone anyway. Quil will be joining us soon, so we have to prepare for that. But for now just worry about the leech.”

He put the damp towel around his neck, and was holding each end with his hands. The four boys continued to look at Sam, without moving. What was wrong with them?

Finally Jacob broke the short silence. “Come on guys, we better get going.”

They finally moved towards the door, and then they were gone.