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Goodbye

Summary:
Alternate ending to New Moon. As the months continue Bella continues to slowly heal. But tragedy strikes again, creating a domino affect with everything in her life. With Edward gone, who will save her? New chapters finally added!


Notes:


6. Chapter 6: Charred Remains

Rating 5/5   Word Count 1140   Review this Chapter

After the night I stormed out of Jacobs house I begged for his forgiveness. I knew that I was wrong for being so harsh to him for really no reason. He forgave me without question. I was so grateful that he did. I was so worried that he would be angry with me. He let it go as if nothing happened, and things went back to normal.

“Why are we doing this again?” I asked Jacob who was holding my hand while he drove my truck.

“Sam said it was for the best.” he said looking down at my sullen face.

I let it go. Jacob had explained it to me a million times but I still didn’t think that we should do it.

We slowly pulled up to the small painfully familiar faded grey house. The bright orange and yellow marigolds that once filled the window box had died. Emily’s house looked scary. As if some senile old witch lady would live here. It was obvious that it was no longer occupied my anyone. It was painful to be here. All the memories that I had put away hoping they would never resurface came flooding back.

Jacob stopped the truck. I looked down at our hands. Why did he make me come?

“Come on Bella. The faster we do this the faster we can leave.”

I was almost glued to the chair. I didn’t want to see the house or smell that familiar scent that surrounded it. It all brought back her fear stricken eyes.

“I’ll just stay and watch from the car.”

“Are you sure?”

Of course I was sure. It was safe here. “Yes.”

“Fine. It’ll be fast. I’ll be right back.”

Jacob shut the door, and grabbed the gas can from the bed of my truck. The only reason we were here at all was because Sam had asked Jacob to burn Emily’s house. Jacob asked me to go along cause he didn’t want to do it alone. I agreed, but didn’t think about how excruciating it would be.

Sam wanted the house to burn because he hated being reminded of what he did. The house held beautiful memories of their time together, but the agonizing memory of what he did out weighed any of the good. He couldn’t do it himself, and I understood that, no explanation was needed. He emptied out anything he wanted, pictures and some other things. But most of the things would burn with the house.

I watched as Jacob ran around the outside of the house pouring gasoline every where. Then he disappeared into the house for a few seconds and was back outside. He looked back at me with a grave face. I gave him a weak smile encouraging him to go forward with it. He turned away and stroke a match, and flicked into a trail of gas. The flames quickly followed the trail of gasoline and the tiny house instantly caught fire.

Jacob was already next to me, holding me closely. I felt so small and fragile. I glanced up at his face, the flames from the huge fire dancing in his eyes. He was so beautiful, why couldn’t I love him. He was the only reason I was here, alive. He sensed my gaze and looked down at me. I quickly turned back to the fire.

I saw a shadow in the forest. A huge bear like animal. I squinted my eyes to make out what it was. I noticed the grey fur, it was Sam. He sat still as the flames engulfed the house, collapsing the structure. It was quick and didn’t take much time at all. The flames were dying down. Soon the house was just some charred pieces of wood and ashes.

I looked over to see Sam again, but he was already gone. I looked down at my hand that was twined with Jacobs. I was lost. I wasn’t sure what to do anymore. Jacob and I were just friends, he was my brother. But how long would he play along with this game I kept playing. He wouldn’t want to just be friends for very much longer. Shouldn’t I cherish everything we have? Couldn’t I just give him whatever was left of me?

With Emily suddenly dying, my relationship with Jacob was constantly on my mind. What if suddenly he was no longer apart of my life? I would never be able to handle that kind of pain. I don’t know what would happen to him, but what if?

“Ready to go?” Jacob interrupted my train of thought.

I looked up at his tanned face, his deep brown eyes staring at me. “Yeah.” I simply said.

He started the car and we were gone. Never to return to that place again.

“Are you okay?” I’m sure he could sense my distress.

“I’m fine. Maybe I’m just tired or something.”

I wasn’t tired. I was strained by the decision of just leaving things the way they were, or taking it just a little further. But I would never tell him that. I would lie to his brown eyes, and let him think I was ok. Even though he probably already knew that I wasn’t feeling very good. He always knew.

“I’ll take you home. It’s been a long day, you should get some rest.”

“That’s probably a good idea.”

The real reason I wanted to go home was because I was worried that I would make a decision I would regret. I wanted to give him more of me but knew I couldn’t exactly do that. The pressure that his handsome face unintentionally put on me was boring down on me. Making me feel like I was carry around a ton on my shoulder. I wasn’t strong enough to make such a decision. I would simply leave things the way they are. As long as neither of us took it a step further then we would be ok.

We were at my house in no time. Charlie wasn’t home, probably fishing. Jacob got out of the car and walked me to my door.

“You really should get some rest, you look tense.” He brushed his hand against my cheek.

He had no idea how tense I really was.

“Don’t worry I will.”

He leaned forward and kissed me on my forehead. My face instantly fell. His warmth always felt great, and always had a way of comforting me. But tonight it just reminded me of how much he wanted to go past this friendship phase.

“Bye Bells. I’ll see you tomorrow.” He was walking away, ready to leap into the forest and change into a wolf.

“Bye Jake.” Then he was gone.

I sighed as I went up stairs and laid down. I didn’t want to think about Emily, Jacob or anyone else that wasn’t suppose to be in my daydreams. I summoned sleep, and it took me entirely.