Text Size Large SizeMedium SizeSmall Size    Color Scheme Black SchemeWhite SchemeGrey SchemePaper Scheme        

Goodbye

Summary:
Alternate ending to New Moon. As the months continue Bella continues to slowly heal. But tragedy strikes again, creating a domino affect with everything in her life. With Edward gone, who will save her? New chapters finally added!


Notes:


9. Chapter 9: Fixing What's Already Done

Rating 5/5   Word Count 1336   Review this Chapter

I never said I'd lie and wait forever,
If I did we'd be together,
I can't always just forget her
But she could try..

My Chemical Romance - Ghost of You

* * *

(Edward’s POV)

There was a full moon out, casting shadows in my dark empty room.

What have I done? Why did I leave her?

Bella. She was the best thing I had in my life. Without her what did this all mean? I had spent decades alone, believing that I was whole, then she walked into my life. And now…I can never go back.

Then what are you doing here? I had asked myself that question too many times.

There was a small tap on the door.

“Edward?” Esme called to me.

Ughh…I loved my family, but I didn’t want to be bothered. They haven’t been bugging me. All were angry with me. Mad at me for breaking Bella’s heart. For making us leave Forks, our home. Alice was angry at me for making us leave her behind. For making them break up as well. Bella was her best friend, and when I broke up with her it meant severing all ties with us. They all were thinking the same thing, “Edward you are such an idiot. How could you be so selfish, so stupid.” After a few days, I tuned them all out. Rosalie was the only one that wasn’t really angry at me for leaving Bella. She just hated me for making us all move.

“Edward?” Esme called again.

Esme. She was the only one that had not said hurtful things in her mind. She was concerned for me and Bella. She deserved my kindness.

“Yes.” I said dryly.

“Can I come in?” she asked warily.

“Yeah.”

The door swung open and she stood in the door way. She was wearing khaki pants, and a white blouse. Her hair pulled back into a pony tail.

“Hi there.”

“Hi.”

She came and sat next to me on the black leather couch. It was just like the one I had back in Forks, in my other room.

“How are you?”

I shrugged. I was miserable, but wouldn’t say it out loud.

“Why did you do it Edward?”

No one had asked me that. No one had even thought it. Why was she doing this to me?
“What do you mean?” I tried to play stupid. She looked at me eyes filled with sorrow for whom I’m not sure. Whether it was for me or Bella.

“Edward.” she said sternly.

“I had to.”

“No you didn’t. Not like that.”

“There was no other way. I had to.”

She reached over and took my hand in hers. She looked deep into my eyes.

“Edward Anthony Masen Cullen.” She only said my name in full when she was upset with me, which wasn’t often.

My head instantly fell. I had disappointed her. I knew that I had, but she never voiced it until now.

“You have to give me a better reason than that.”

“Esme…” I said kindly. I wasn’t sure what to say. There were no right words for this conversation. “I had to do it to protect her.”

“Oh…” She said as if she understood. But her voice quickly turned mockingly. “So breaking her heart was protecting her.”

“No. You don’t understand. I had to do, it was for the best. If I stayed it would have been doing more bad than any real good.”

She shook her head, disagreeing with my words. “Edward can’t you see.” She took my face with her hands. “A love like the one Bella and you shared is so rare. When you have something like that you can’t just throw it away because your scared.”

I whipped my head out of her hands. “I’m not scared.”

“I can see what she’s done to you.” She placed her hands in her lap. “What the two of you had was real. A love like that you can’t just push it aside as if it’s nothing. People go there whole lives searching, waiting for a love like the one you shared with her. Most people never even get to taste something so true. But you just gave it away…”

“Esme…please.” I begged her to stop.

“No Edward.” Her voice had turned firm, her face serious. “She is the best thing in decades that you have had. You have to make this right. I won’t let you give her up. You’ll regret this for the rest of your existence. You will never come across another being like her, and if you don’t make this right you will always wonder ‘why?’ You’ll always suffer, and you will spend the rest of eternity alone.” Her voice had grown loud with the last sentence. “You make this right. I won’t sit around for the next hundred years watching you wither away because you made a stupid choice. You fix this, Edward.”

It was times like this that I was reminded that Esme was in every meaning of the word, my mother. I stared into her wise eyes. She was technically younger than me. But her age and years that she had been on this earth exceeded my own. It was lectures like this, where she bestowed her knowledge upon me, that I could see her ageless wisdom.

She was right, but I wouldn’t give in. I had done this for a reason, and they all didn’t stop me. They would live with the decision I made…the decision we made.

I wouldn’t fight with her on this. Instead I would let this die, and once she was gone, would continue wallowing. “Yes…mother.”

She smiled, and kissed me on the forehead. “I love you Edward. If anything please just think about what I said.”

I nodded. I would at least give her that. I already knew that I wouldn’t go back to Bella. I had chose this, and would stand by my decision. Bella would be fine, and live a longer life than if I was there complicating it.

She smiled one last time, then left the room, closing the door behind her.

I sighed loudly, no doubt she could here that. Finally alone again. I can’t stay here. I needed to leave, before more of them wanted to give me advice.

“NO!”

Alice suddenly yelled from her room. I quickly searched for her in my mind, but she was blocking me. What was she doing? She never blocked me. I ran to her room to see what was wrong.

“Alice?!”

She was laying on the ground, her head in Jasper’s lap, her eyes closed tightly.

“Jasper what’s wrong?”

He just shrugged, with a panic look in his eyes. I read his mind. She was in pain, but it had subsided, and now she was claming down.

“Alice?” Jasper asked warily.

Her eyes slowly opened. “I’m fine.” She sat up and glanced at me, then stared at Jasper. “I’m fine.”

“What did you see?” Jasper asked, his eyes still wide with the remaining pain that he felt throughout.

“Nothing of importance.” She got up and went to sit at her vanity.

“Nothing of importance!” I yelled. “You were just in so much pain, I saw it in Jasper’s head! Alice what did you see?!”

She continued looking at me through the reflection in the mirror. “It was nothing. Something that doesn’t concern us any time soon.”

“What?!” Why was she playing these games with me? “Alice what does that even mean? And why are you blocking me from seeing it if it’s not important?”

Something was wrong and she was going to tell me. She instantly unblocked her mind. But it was filled with thoughts of make-up and shopping. She quickly jumped from picking out an outfit, thinking about every detail.

What was she doing? I glared at her, then stormed out of the room frustrated, slamming the door behind me. Even out of the room I tried to listen to her thoughts, but she was still thinking about stupid things. Then I tried to listen to all of Jasper and Alice’s conversation for the rest of the night, but they never spoke about it.