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Return Again

Summary:
Written from Edward's point of view, we explore the depth of the rabbit hole. They are back in Forks, and a thought crosses Edward's mind. Can he really promise to never leave again? Will he make the right decision to condemn Bella to an eternity of night? Then tragedy strikes. Bella is gone. Edward begins the cross country trek that will bring his angel back to him... We leave off when Edward and Bella return from England... This installement IS over... Keep up for the next saga in this Bella and Edward lovefest... Named: Renaissance DISCLAIMER: All characters, real or fake, content taken from the Twilight series belong to Stephenie Meyer. This story is a result of my STILL untamed imagination. Please don't sue me.


Notes:
I wrote a lot of this based on what I think Edward thinks like, so if the information is incorrect or I missed one major Edward detail, I apologize...


7. Chapter 7

Rating 0/5   Word Count 1740   Review this Chapter

Bella Swan. I was sitting on a bus bench in Toronto, reading minds, trying to find Bella. Then, a young man in a white ski jacket and jeans took a seat next to me. I didn’t pay much attention to his thoughts until one caught my attention.

I wonder what Bella wants to have for dinner tonight. I wonder if she likes roses? Is it three o’clock yet? Better get my suit back from the dry cleaners before I pick up Bella tonight. I wonder when she’ll introduce me to Charlie. Fool! I resisted the urge to yell this at the young man. Bella liked lilies, not roses. But then the truth dawned on me. The young man who sat next to me on the bench knew Bella. The bus finally came and I followed him onto it, paying my bus fare and then proceeding to take a seat as close to him as possible.

I found out a lot about that young man. His name was Alan Leroy. He was twenty-one years old and in his third year in law school. He had three sisters and a dog named Peanut. And worst of all, he was dating Bella. I couldn’t tell how serious he and Bella were; they had just started dating. I fought back shudders as the pain erupted through my body and I broke down moments after I got off the bus. But at least I had received major information. Bella had moved on. Just like I should’ve. But how can one get over once-in-a-lifetime true love? Emphasis on the lifetime.

I hailed a taxi and went back to my hotel, where I sat on the bed for hours, rethinking my hurried decision to high-tail it to Toronto. Bella was probably a lot happier with Alan than she ever was with me. He was normal. He was human. And from the looks of it, he had a pretty decent personality. I was happy for Bella. I was happy she could move on so easily. But I resented her ability to do so. I did not want Bella to forget me. I hated Alan for a moment because he showed up and stole my true love. I had to fae the facts. Bella had moved on.

The next day, after the umpteenth dreamless night, with the exception of the first one I had as a vampire, I debated with myself whether or not to go see Bella. She was staying with a friend; Alan’s thoughts had told me so. I finally pulled on a chest-hugging cashmere sweater and a black leather jacket and went out to face my angel. The taxi ride was like a roller coaster for me; I fought with my nerves the whole way there. The cab driver asked me several times if I was okay. I was okay. Just not in the technical terms. I was not going to have a seizure just yet. Not until I saw my Bella.

Bella had taken residence in a pleasant neighborhood. The house was pained white, with light blue shutters. I paid the cab fare and got out of the car, staring at the door as it approached me. My hand quivered above the doorbell for a few seconds before I mustered up the courage to ring it. The sound echoed through the house as I held my breath. The door finally opened. And there she stood, five foot-four, staring at me with shock and confusion.

“Edward,” She whispered, her hands tightening into fists. I could tell she was not pleased to see me; I would do whatever I could to force my way back into her life.

“Hello, Bella.” I said, my voice unnaturally smooth. “How are you?”

“What are you doing here? In Toronto, I mean.” She ignored my question.

“I was just in town…” I said, rocking back on my heels. Bella raised an eyebrow. I debated with myself whether or not to tell Bella the truth. It was true, I was in town, but not for any reason besides wanting to see Bella before my conscience snapped and I turned into a bawling sack. Bella interrupted my thoughts as she nodded her head, her scent wafting around me. I did my best to not breath, but it was so tempting. I could practically see the aromatic lines that lingered in the air. I finally gave in and sucked in a mouthful of air. Her scent was better than that in my dream. It had not done her justice.

“Right. Well, would you like to come in?” Bella stepped aside and let me into the house. It was dimly lit, and smelled faintly of cigarettes. The smell did not bother me; I was too busy inhaling Bella’s. She led me into a living room decorated with printouts of famous paintings. “Would you like to tell me why you’re really here?” Bella asked after moments of silence. I realized how stiff I must’ve looked, sitting on the sofa, back straight and staring at Van Gogh’s ‘The Potato Eaters’.

“I had a dream.” I replied after a moment’s hesitation.

Bella seemed genuinely taken back by my answer. “H-How?” She stammered, her hands twisting around the necklace she wore around her neck. No doubt a gift from Alan. I would’ve picked out something much more unique than a plain onyx bead on a floss-thin silver chain. Then I realized that my opinion was much too biased and I pushed the thought to the back of my mind.

“I don’t know really.” That was the truth. I didn’t know how I could have nearly a hundred years of sleepless nights and then one day, out of the blue, have a dream. “Remember when you admitted to having countless dreams about me?” I asked, hoping that reminding Bella of a memory past would spark the flame she had for me deep in her heart. Bella answered yes. “And remember when I told you that if I could dream, it would be of you?” Again, she answered yes. There was an undertone to her voice that I tried to ignore. “Well, my dream was about you.”

Bella seemed flattered. Her face flushed red, and she rubbed the onyx bead vigorously. “In my dream, I was chasing you. But you would not look at me.” I continued. Bella did not respond. “And when you finally did turn around, you had no face.” I didn’t know what I expected out of telling Bella my dream. She had no knowledge about dreams, so therefore, she could tell me of no hidden reason behind my nightmare. And besides, Bella loved Alan now. The last thing I wanted to do was interfere with her happiness.

Bella surprised me by speaking. “I had a dream like that as well. But in my dream, the roles were reversed.” Suddenly, I was struck with the thought that maybe the bond between Bella and I had been there all along, never broken, but somehow invisible. “I don’t know what to think anymore, Edward.” She whispered. This I did not understand. Bella continued. “It’s like someone else is controlling everything I do. I’m not like myself at all.”

I stared at Bella, wondering what the hell she was talking about. “Controlling you?” I asked finally.

“Yeah… It’s like I’m someone’s puppet. But it’s strange because it only occurs around six o’clock in the morning and evening.” Then she shook her head. “I guess it’s nothing. Maybe just my imagination.” Her cheery response to her frightening problem did not make me feel any less confused. I still wanted to know why Bella was feeling the way that she was. I had so many questions.

And then the doorbell rang, interrupting all my thoughts. Bella got up to answer it, and what I heard next made the venom in my veins freeze.

“Hey, honey.” The voice unmistakably belonged to Bella. I could hear the shuffling of shoes and the sound of lips pressing against skin. My muscles tightened. Even when she and I were together, never once did she call me ‘honey’. I was only Edward to her. “Come in.”

“Who’s this?” Alan asked as he walked into the room. He stared at me curiously. I got a good look at him. He would be considered handsome in anyone else’s standards. Alan’s sandy hair fell in his eyes and he had icy blue eyes that sparkled as he smiled at me. I understood why Bella would go out with someone like Alan. He was warm from the inside out. I was warm, but more lukewarm compared to Alan. My skin was a different story.

“Oh.” I stood up, towering over Alan. I stuck my hand out for him to shake. “I’m Edward. Bella’s cousin.” I managed to throw a glance in Bella’s direction. She looked absolutely mortified.

“Bella, you didn’t tell me your cousin was visiting,” Alan said.

“I didn’t tell you because….” Bella began.

“I just flew in today. Unexpectedly.” I finished the sentence for her. So much for forcing my way back into Bella’s life. I was practically telling Alan that I was Bella’s family.

“Well, it’s nice to meet you, Edward. Would you like to join us for dinner?” I saw the expression on Bella’s face. It was a mixture of mockery and pity; pity for the monster that flew over six states to see her face, only to introduce himself as her cousin to her boyfriend. I declined as politely as I could. I knew Alan wanted me to have dinner with them about as much as he wanted me to stab him with a fork. I said my goodbyes and was out the door, doing my best not to break down.

I knew Bella did not want me anymore. She had not put it in words, but I could tell, by the life decisions that she had made, that she no longer wanted me in her life. On the way home, I could not help but rub the golden wedding band that I still wore around my ring finger and think of Bella as I returned to the dark, dormant hotel room, alone.