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Return Again

Summary:
Written from Edward's point of view, we explore the depth of the rabbit hole. They are back in Forks, and a thought crosses Edward's mind. Can he really promise to never leave again? Will he make the right decision to condemn Bella to an eternity of night? Then tragedy strikes. Bella is gone. Edward begins the cross country trek that will bring his angel back to him... We leave off when Edward and Bella return from England... This installement IS over... Keep up for the next saga in this Bella and Edward lovefest... Named: Renaissance DISCLAIMER: All characters, real or fake, content taken from the Twilight series belong to Stephenie Meyer. This story is a result of my STILL untamed imagination. Please don't sue me.


Notes:
I wrote a lot of this based on what I think Edward thinks like, so if the information is incorrect or I missed one major Edward detail, I apologize...


9. Chapter 9

Rating 0/5   Word Count 1176   Review this Chapter

I dreamt again that night.

I was in the meadow, waiting. It was ‘our’ meadow, but something was off. Where was Bella? I glanced over my shoulder and saw a figure that resembled that of Bella’s, standing at the edge of the shadows. The sun glinted off my skin as I ran forth to meet Bella. She would not turn to see me. For some reason, my heart thumped in my chest as I ran around in circles, trying to catch a glimpse of her face. My pulse increased as I anticipated the horrifying, blank slate of a face.

My hand slipped on her shoulder. Why weren’t my legs obeying? Bella turned around to look at me. I screamed.

Bella stared at me with her big brown eye.

I shuddered awake, nearly falling to the ground. When I opened my eyes, everything was upside down and the venom in my veins was rushing to my head. I looked to my legs. Sometime during the night, I had wound up hanging upside down from the rafters on the roof. I jumped down lithely and recalled my dream. I wanted to scream again when I remembered the face of my angel, horribly disfigured. That solitaire eye would haunt me for eternity. Not to mention that I could not for the life of me figure out what my dream meant. What did the solitary eye represent? And what about the dream before? Why was Bella’s face blank as a board?

I lay my head down on the hardwood and stared up at the ceiling tiles, trying to piece together my life. Bella had mentioned that it was ‘too late’ when she opened the blue velvet box. But what was it too late for? I tried to seem optimistic about the whole situation, but it’s easier said than done. I was losing the love of my life to a human. A fleshy pink human with blood in his veins. Why had I had not so many issues with the other human boys who pursued Bella back in Forks? I answered my own question. It was because Bella had never come as close to loving Mike or Eric or Tyler or that wretched Jacob Black as she did Alan Leroy.

Then I wondered if Bella had loved me as much as she had claimed to have. It was a stupid thing to wonder about when she had already left me and moved on. But in a way, I was glad that Bella did not endanger her life by living around ‘blood thirsty’ monsters for the rest of her life. But I was endangering her by living only next door to Bella.

My phone rang in my pocket; I could almost feel the anger that was pulsing on the other line. I pressed the phone eagerly to my ear as soon as I saw the caller ID.

“Hello?” I said, doing my best to sound unnerved.

“Bella collapsed this afternoon.” To my surprise, it was Alan. I had gotten worked up over nothing when I saw Bella’s name flash across the caller ID. Then his words began take effect. “Bella’s in the hospital, and she’s asking for you. Please come right away.” His voice was worn out and I could tell he had been crying for a long time. I knew I would get no more explanations until I arrived at the hospital.

I ran out the door.

They had her hooked up to a mass of IVs and life support at the hospital. It was almost identical to the scene in Phoenix. I itched to hold her hand and tell her that she was going to be fine, but there was already someone in my place. Alan was, in fact, already holding her hand and telling her that she was going to be fine by the time I walked into that room.

“What - happened?” I managed to choke out, staring at the back of Alan’s head, trying to calm myself.

“They said Bella’s heart is failing. And that she doesn’t have much time left.” Alan said, his thumb moving in circles against the back of Bella’s unresponsive hand.

“How can that be? She had a heart transplant only a few months ago…” I said, my hand twitching to hit something, or rather, someone. I remembered back to a few months, when Bella had been hospitalized for an aortic dissection; a flaw of the heart. I remembered the pain I caused her when I pretended that our paths had never crossed. Then I remembered the pain that she unintentionally caused me when she woke up from a coma and did not remember me. I debated these issues with myself as I strained to pay attention to Alan’s words.

Alan shook his head remorsefully. “The doctors said that her body is rejecting the heart. There’s nothing much we can do.” He turned his head and looked remorsefully at Bella. I wanted very much at that moment to break down and cry, but an issue stuck in my mind. The fact that Bella was going to leave me again in a short time caused me a lot of pain. I collapsed in a chair in the corner, my eyes on Bella’s face.

I had promised myself that I was not going to let the thought come close to my mind, but it had found a way to creep back into my head. Before, Bella had brought up the topic of her ‘pending’ immortality by saying that she was going to die someday. Never before had I expected her death to come so soon, or that the topic of changing her would come so soon. On one hand, I loved Bella and wanted her to be with me until the end of eternity; but that was mathematically impossible seeing as she no longer loved me, Edward Cullen, and she loved him, Alan Leroy. On the other hand, I did not want to take Bella’s soul; I did not want her to roam the surface of the earth soulless and searching for something she would never find, much like me.

I nearly choked at the scent of Bella’s overwhelming, mouthwatering scent that filled every corner of that tiny room. I could hardly think straight with the incessant truth poking me in the back of the head, and the tempting smell wafting around my face. And it only made it worse that Bella was dying. But I did not want to leave Bella alone in the room with Alan. I did not want him to be the first one she saw when she woke up. I wanted to be there for her, with her until the very end. Though I had never verbally promised Bella that I would never leave her, I felt an obligation to see my unsaid promise through.