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Through Edward's Eyes

What was Edward feeling? Thinking? Seeing? When he was in Italy intending to take his own life? Through Edwards eyes. His thoughts and actions on the day of his attempted suicide.

Disclaimer: I don’t own twilight, (please dont sue me)

1. Faceless Determination

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The cobbled streets echoed as my lithe feet touched against the ground. The sun was just rising over the horizon, the orange rays touching my face and warming my cold skin. The colour’s of the sky slowly eroded from light yellow and faded pinks to the brilliant light blue that dominated the sky. I cringed, turning from the light and ran in the other direction.

The streets were just beginning to fill with life, the ancient sienna walls were dotted with red flags that look like flecks of blood that lined the street walls. People began to vaguely litter the roads. I retreated into the sanctuary of the dark. The shadows greeted me, wrapping me in a cloak of disguise hiding me for what I truly am.

I buried my head in my arms, picturing her was the only thing getting me through. Her face was blurred and distorted around the edges, her eyes a meek brown her face a pallid white. I blinked trying to clear the disturbing image, her eyes were glazed over and her mouth was opened, she was dead. I flinched clenching my head tighter, the pain scorched and burned at my insides.

I watched as a small car swerved cutting past a family as they were just about to cross the farther street. I vaguely debated if I should lift the car over my head, attracting as much attention as possible. I’d do it in the middle of a large crowd in the main square, where there was sure to be a crowd of innocent by-standers.

I filled my lungs; the warm blood of the family was dangerously close now. I could always take the easy way out and greet my thirst. That was sure to cause a sufficient amount of horrified reactions.

The mother furrowed her brow, tightening her grip on her daughter’s hand; she bent down and pulled up her hood. The wind whipped viciously at them. The mother’s concerned thoughts had her rushing her daughter to safety. The little girl looked back at me; her large eyes were a deep brown, her cheeks were chapped and red from the wind. She was wearing a red hood; two strings tightened the hood shut, creating a bow under her chin. Her long dark hair framed her face. She smiled waving her arm in greeting.

I averted my eyes. “I can’t,” I whispered to myself.

I could sense Demetri, his smell lingered and dosed the shadows I had taken cover in. They were conspicuously close, watching my every move and stalking my next turns.

I ignored him, glad that he had given me a wide enough berth so that I wouldn’t be subjected to his tedious thoughts.

My plans changed, this automatically pulled my thoughts to Alice. She knew what I was doing; I hoped she was smart enough to stay away. She knew how much I loved Bella, she unquestionably doesn’t agree with my decision, but she may just let it be, knowing that I could never exist in a world where Bella doesn’t exist.

I watched a patch of light play on the walls, dancing in the dust and flickering from light to shadow. I remembered how much Bella loved the sun, her hair would turn a dark ember in the light, her eyes would transform, becoming brighter. Her entire face changed, her eyes would always flicker completely animated as she’d watch the rainbows that my skin formed. Her small touch tracing the glitter on my skin, her eyes wide and intrigued, no fear ever touched her perfect face.

The momentary heaven vanished, replaced with Bella’s lifeless face, her eyes darker then I’ve ever seen. Sheathed in a dark blue dress that would usually bring out the pink undertones of her skin. But the colour clashed with her porcelain skin, managing to make her even more lifeless. Freesia dosed the atmosphere from where the tiny white flowers stacked around the casket where she lay. My stomach quenched turning from her, turning from everything.

A piece of paper skittered in front of me, twisting and jerking in the wind. I caught it in a fist pulling it to my face looking for anything to distract me. The Italian script twisted a smile on my distorted face. Today was the 19th the date completely slipped my mind, it didn’t matter, but it was perfectly ironic.

The sun seemed to have brightened and the wind lashed at me ears. Today was Saint Marcus day, a festival to celebrate a Christian Missionary. The story claims that Farther Marcus drove all the vampires from Voltura nearly 15 hundred years ago.

The celebration was a foolish mockery, the Volturi took honor in this trivial affair, and it was their own personal victory. I wonder how mad they’d be if someone were to spoil there much anticipated accomplishment?

Demetir’s smell heightened as the sun started to creep towards me. It was so simple. I smiled as I brought myself to my feet and retreated farther into the walls of the city, hiding from the light.

I needed the dramatic, to show people the supernatural without causing bloodshed or dishonor to my family. I’d keep it simple; I’d walk out into the sun. People would be horrified with the display. I knew how much Bella loved me in the sun; it would be a tribute for her, my last and final act.