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Through Edward's Eyes

Summary:
What was Edward feeling? Thinking? Seeing? When he was in Italy intending to take his own life? Through Edwards eyes. His thoughts and actions on the day of his attempted suicide.


Notes:
Disclaimer: I don’t own twilight, (please dont sue me)


3. Bella

Rating 5/5   Word Count 1695   Review this Chapter

The sky shone in a fire, dancing and lighting everything in brilliant light. Bella’s face still filled my mind and I found myself stalling just before the curtain that separated fire and darkness, allowing her face to swirl in front of me, waiting for the final stroke of the clock that would claim my life.

It’s as if time slowed down again. Everything moved in the tiniest fractions of a millisecond, allowing the last seconds of my extended life to wane and cling to the last image of her.

I anticipated the final stroke, letting the sound waves fill me in their magnitude of finality. The sound that would guide me and fulfill my desire, my death.

And then her voice rang in the air as another stroke dosed across the square. It was more distinct, almost hard, which made sense. She would never want me to take my own life. But I deserved far worse. I didn’t heed attention to her obvious panic that was etched in every surface of the syllables she formed. I just allowed the feel of her voice, the sound of her heart, to capture my mind and finally serve me the tiniest peace. Her words didn’t matter and I didn’t notice the fractured hurt and appalling sense of realization stinging in the depths of her tone.

I allowed the smile that was pulling at the corners of my lips to stretch and play across my mouth. Another wave of sound broke across the world striking me to my very core. I opened my mouth whispering my final goodbye to her. Blissful as I said I was sorry, my final time, and took the last step that would put me directly in the burning sun.

The air around me heightened. The flavor and smells of the square all dispensed immediately as a much stronger and amazingly distinct, familiar, scent saturated my head, filling my mouth in venom.

And then I knew that I had died.

My sense all tightened, and simultaneously even before I opened my eyes to greet the light, I knew she was there.

Every cell in my body coiled as the stroke I had been expecting made contact with my solid chest. But it wasn’t the blow of death that would attack and tackle me out of the light and away from everyone’s horrified eyes. It wasn’t nearly strong enough; it was almost the slightest tickle. It was the full force as a body came in contact with me.

My muscles and instincts didn’t tighten out of natural threat but in a way that picked up my breathing and allowed all the insufferable pain to break through me in intense ecstasy as it finally deceased and ruptured out of my soul.

This all happened within a shadow of a second, I had no time to question or criticize the release of the pain. Let alone the impossible reality that Bella was the one who inflicted that stroke against my chest.

When her body slammed into mine, she arrested every practical sense I’ve ever accumulated, making my mind melt in tranquility. My hands involuntarily ensnared around her waist, capturing her. I intended to never let her go. She was solid, this wasn’t another memory and as completely as impossible as it was, even before I opened my eyes I knew she was there, entirely real. Every cell in my body reacted to her, responding automatically to her scent that played in the air, as familiar as her heartbeat that was thumping fast and strong, causing adrenaline to spike and skip across her skin. I slowly opened my eyelids, my pupils quickly dilated into slits that perfectly repressed the sunlight that had momentarily blinded me.

There she stood; her hands fasted on my chest. Her heart thumped so hard and fast I could feel the vibrations radiating at me. My pupils quickly dilated wider as I tried to take in her entire perfect face, so familiar but so different. I let my eyes roam her greedily trying to dissect the change, it didn’t matter.

Every thing was right. Even though we were both dead, we were together and heaven could be no more complete. Everything that I could ever want was now clutched in my unrelenting arms. It’s as if everything clicked into place and the pain that was held within me vanquished, leaving a large whole that filled with Bella’s scent.

“Amazing” I barely whispered, allowing myself to intake another gulp of the air perfumed with her scent. “Carlisle was right.” I mused.

The second finally passed. And I still stood holding her, allowing every pore of her perfect skin to rememorize themselves back into my desolate brain. Her eyes were still the deep dark chocolate they always were and fire and passion burned in their centers. Her voice was barely a whisper but I allowed her words to penetrate my core, not heeding her words but basking in the perfect silkiness of her tone.

I gently lifted a hand to brush her cheek, lingering near the corner of her lips. Her lips were so close I could almost taste them, my mouth watered at the thought. Her face was blood stained. I filled my lungs relishing in the scent, quickly exhaling to inhale another fill. I’d never be able to get enough of her. I tightened my arms possessively around her, pulling her close to touch the soft skin of her forehead with my lips.

“I can’t believe how quick it was. I didn’t feel a thing—they’re very good,” I said civilly allowing some sort of penance for my harsh thoughts against the Volturi who had given me this heaven.

Death, that hath sucked thy honey of thy breath, hath had no power yet upon thy beauty,” I murmured the words against her skin. A smile played on my lips tingling with the scent that came off her. I closed my eyes filling my lungs with her in a sense of marvelation and a slight undertone of speculation. My throat burned with the tiniest desire to bend my lips to her throat and greet the thirst that I hadn’t met in nearly five months, or was it longer then that? But the desire held no expectation of fulfillment and the usual painful sensation at my elapsed restraint was nonexistent.

“You smell just exactly the same as always,” I mused softly but coherently enough for her ears to hear. “So maybe this is hell. I don’t care. I’ll take it.”

I dragged my lips along her forehead tightening my hold firmer around her, the tightest I could possibly hold without causing her injury, refusing to ever let her go. And that’s when the realization hit. I was still a vampire and judging from the shortness of breath emitting from Bella and the way her heart was pounding hard and fast in my ears, she was still human. But his could never be hell, in fact, it was perfect and all the exquisite detail that loomed before me captured in my hold. Bella could never be in my personal hell, because my hell was our separation…

“I’m not dead,” Bella said interrupting my reverie, confusion in her tone. Her breath catching for a second as if in comprehension. “And neither are you!” her eyes burned and my melted brain could barely make her quick words into a junction. “Please Edward, we have to move. They can’t be far away!”

She struggled, her arms moving across my chest to hold feebly onto my arms trying to move my solid grip around her waist.

I felt my eyebrows furrow, her words didn’t make sense. A tiny pull at my gut sent a short and obvious jolt of trepidation up my spine. “What was that?” I asked as politely as I could, trying not to be rude or contradicting.

“We’re not dead, not yet! But we have to get out of here before the Volturi—”

Simultaneously as Bella spoke my muscles coiled, the sense of apprehension tightening and causing all my instincts to stand up on end. Bella’s words transferred through my brain and as she spoke, another vibrantly clear thought rang across the alleyway, echoing off the walls as the voice hauntingly swirled in my face. The voice of the guard, finally making themselves known, expectantly waiting for my life.

My instincts guided me as I grabbed Bella’s arm and swung her farther into the shadows of the alley. I placed her against the brick of the alley wall and secured her there, before spinning to put myself before her and the two vampires that began to creep up the passage of the ally. I stretched my arms out in a clear protective stance; there was no way I would allow Bella to die.

Bella’s hot breath bathed the back of my neck her heart beat so loud and hard that it echoed around the alley walls.

I could taste the adrenaline emitting from her. How could I do this to her? I barely had a chance to understand the inconceivable circumstances that placed us in this horrifying situation. But I knew without a doubt that it was my fault. Bella was clearly not dead and out of my selfish melodramatic episode, put her in the middle of the Volturi’s very interested eyes.

The guard slowly crept towards us, their presence causing Bella’s heart to throttle. I could feel my newly elapsed pain begin to seethe back over me. I may not have had a chance to kill Bella in the first place, but judging from the current hopeless situation, I knew that we’d have no chance of survival.

No! The pain seared unbearably, as this thought lingered in my head, so hopeless and final.

I would do everything in my power; I would not forfeit her as I had in Forks. I would never make that decision again. Bella would live, even if it meant I had to die, that was meaningless. I did not care about me, but the human that breathed and shuddered behind me. Maybe this time I’ll get a chance to say goodbye.

Felix’s face slowly melded in the darkness revealing his smug expression and amused eyes.

Ahh, this must be Bella.

The thought swirled in the desolate bleak air.

The end.

(Or just really page 453 of New moon.)