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Without Her

Do you ever wonder just what the Cullens' were thinking of throughout New Moon? Here's my interpetation of what I would think they thought.

As you should all know by now, I do not know Stephanie Meyer, nor am I her.

1. Breaking The News

Rating 5/5   Word Count 1133   Review this Chapter


I walked into the front room, calling each of my family members down for a meeting. I had left Bella at her home, she was asleep when I came to my decision. But it was for the best, I had to remind that as I broke the news that had broken my heart making.

They walked in, Jasper with a confused expression, obviously having just sensed my thoughts. Alice, on the other hand, was glaring, her eyes full of pain, of betrayal. She knew what was going to happen, but I didn't want to know.

"Esme, Carlisle, Emmet, Jasper, Rosalie, Alice . . . " I paused, as I nodded to them, thinking of how I should phrase what I was about to say to them, something that would brake their heart, but not as badly as mine.

"Yes, dear?" Esme asked. They all seemed concerned.

Jasper's expression was full of guilt, obviously thinking of what he had done."I'm sorry-" he started to say, but I cut him off.

"It wasn't your fault Jasper, it wasn't her's either. But it's made me think-" I was cut off, this time by a furious Alice.

"You can't! You don't know what she'll be like! You don't know what you'll be like! Do you even know what this will do to the family?! It will do to me, she's my best friend!

""What?" came the confused mumble from the rest of my families' lips.

"I think . . . it's time, to move again, without Bella." the gasps, the shocked expressions soon turned to pain, or in Rosalie's case, smugness.

"I told you he didn't love her." she said triumphantly, holding up a hand for Emmet to high-five. Emmet on the other hand, looked as if were he human he would be crying. He turned to give Rosalie a disgusted look.

"Edward, you love her." came Jasper's voice, full of disbelief.

"She is your soul-mate, your only love Edward. You can't leave her." Esme told me.

"Rosalie, how can you say that? Bella has been more than pleasant to us, happy, she wants to even join our family and Edward has been coming to terms with that fact. If he didn't love her, and strongly, why would he want her in his life, why would he even have spoken to her in the first place? And as for you Edward, I can't believe you. You think just because she's a human means her love for you isn't as strong, as potent as yours but it must be stronger, seeing as she's not the one that's leaving you. I hate you!" she screamed at me, before running up the stairs, up to her room, with Jasper following, before he said,

"She's right." and with that, he followed Alice, because he loved her, he would stick with her forever, he would stand by her every decision, he would never leave her, like I was going to do with Bella.

But she move on, the human mind is like a sieve, she'd marry, have children, grow old with someone who could be old and she'd have a normal life with no interference from us, the unnatural evils in the world.Rosalie was just sitting their, staring at her nails.

"I think I need a manicure, one of my nails is slightly chipped."Carlisle scowled at her, Emmet frowned, Esme did too.

"Edward, you love her, and you said you liked her as much as I do Rose, if that's true, why are you leaving her. I've thought you were smarter than me, you've proved it, said it, but I have my doubts, especially now."

And with that he left, Rosalie by his side. Like I wanted to be by Bella's, but wouldn't because I was leaving her. I wondered whether this was really the right thing to do, but dismissed the thought, knowing that if I did what I truly wanted, I'd be sprinting to my Bella, but she wouldn't be mine for long.

And I was left with Esme and Carlisle, another couple, one that would never break because of how strong their love was. Together, they were making a united front. Together, rang in my head, something me and Bella wouldn't be for long."

Edward, are you sure you're making the right decision?"

"You love her, don't break that love."

"Look, Esme, Carlisle. I know what a disappointment I'm being, but its for the best. Tonight, with Jasper, it just proved it. We're dangerous, even when we try our hardest to protect her, we still have trouble. Its not right, she deserves a life, free of interference of our kind. A life in which she can grow old, with someone who can do that with her, with someone who she can have children with, with someone that's human."

They listened to what I had to say, knowing I had a point, but they didn't want to let go. Bella was like Esme's and Carlisle's daughter, that they'd never had. One without shopping addictions and self-obsession.

"We have to trust you. Its your decision." Carlisle said, and off they went, leaving me alone, like I would soon me. Forever.Leaving Bella was going to be hard, no it was going to be worse than hard. It was going to be awful. How was I supposed to break up with a girl I loved with my entire heart. A person I would die for. Not even the most amazing actor could pull this off.

And I needed to.It was going to be awful.

But it had to be done.

Didn't it?

Of course it does!

I chided myself. Of course she needed a life free of us. A life untroubled by disaster. Untroubled my my kind.

So I was alone in a room. Left to think of how I was to break the person I love's heart. A person who was sweet, kind and loved me even though I was a monster. A person who didn't deserve to have her heart broken.But she would move on, live a happy life with me.

I winced at the thought of her with another man that wasn't me but it would happen, wouldn't it?I felt a strange feeling at the back of my mind, as if something was going to happen, as if I was making a choice that would result in a tragedy.

But I was making the right one for her, I was sure of that, wasn't I? Of course. I told myself, scowling at the fact I was thinking of not telling her.

And I turned my thoughts on to how I was to lie to her.