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Edward + Bella = ?

Summary:
So what happens? Everyone has a different opinion. This is mine.


Notes:
I am going to skip around a bit in the story. I don't want to start something that's never going to end. I'll get all the important parts, don't you worry about that. And I am not exactly a review hog either. Not to name-call or anything of the sort. I'm writing for myself. If you like it, that's great :)


4. Pre-Transformation Contemplation

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I could feel the hot blood coursing its way through me; my heart pounding, loud in my ears. Sweat began beading over my neck and face.

Usually, when my life was on the line, there would be another way out; something aside from the most blatant fate ahead of us. Every time, I would have little to do with everything, basically nothing was required of me.

Life would have been just fine if I hadn’t moved to Forks. It would have been so much easier, not much to endanger my life. Then again, there wouldn’t be much purpose to my life either. A life without Edward is not a life worth living.

But what use is it imagining? This was reality.

I would have to be changed, no matter what. The Volturi were superior over basically everyone and everything. For once, the invincible Cullen family did not seem so invincible.

My mind began to whirl as the realization set in.

Ironic because mere days ago… not even! Every single moment, up until he said those words, ‘I have to change you’, my mind was absolutely set.

Amazing how I had been so confident in my decision before. Of course, it was supposed to be different, not under these situations, no. But now that I had no choice, well, this was honestly too much for me to handle.

The one time I am asked to fulfill a duty in times like these, I could not even muster up the tiniest speck of confidence?

I would do anything for my true love, anything in the world. I was willing to leave everything behind; even my humanity. I was willing to escape away from everything, just for him. Now… now I was unwilling. Does it mean I loved Edward less?

What was holding me back? Was it Renee and Charlie? Or worse… it could be Jacob. Did I love him enough to stay human; was that my validation for being so reluctant? Oh, why am I so bad to Edward, I don’t even deserve him. He is absolutely perfect, even for a… vampire.

I just want to scream and let it all out! My thoughts are bubbling out of my mind and I just want to quit. Quit everything; this whole situation. Why do I have to love souls? True love shouldn’t have been like this… should it? I just wanted everything to be the way it was supposed to be. The way it is for normal people.

Fate couldn’t save me now. Wishing was no use.

I loved Jacob. I couldn’t become a vampire because I loved Jacob.

Face it, Bella. You know you love him. Why can’t you just admit it?

I love Edward. I had to become a vampire because I loved Edward.

But I love Edward more.

More than anything else in the world combined. And yes, the world included Jacob.

Edward gave up so much for me, for useless little me. Now it was my turn, and I was going to give up our happily ever after for his mortal enemy. To him, that was worse than anything or anyone that could have taken me away.

What use was I to Edward anyways?

And the tears began to pour.