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My Idea for Breaking Dawn: The Ultimate War

Summary:
The werewolves refuse to allow Bella to marry Edward and become a vampire. They are willing to do anything--ANYTHING--to stop that from happening. More barriers threaten to keep Bella and Edward from acquiring their ultimate happiness and they must once again fight for what they want--what they NEED.


Notes:


11. Chapter 11: Reassurances

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"Bella?" Edward's voice sounded distant. Did I fall asleep again? "Bella." He repeated, and I felt his cool lips at my ear. My eyes struggled to open and I searched for Edward's face.

Once my eyes adjusted, I saw him staring at me, guiltily. "Should we go back so you can sleep some more?"

I processed the words and moaned, shaking my head, "No...I need to stay awake...I'm scared to go to sleep...please...don't let me me fall asleep again." But, as I said the words, I yawned uncontrollably and wearily buried my face in his neck, sighing sleepily.

He chuckled softly, "Don't fight it, Bella. If you're tired, go on to sleep. I'm not going anywhere."

I shook my head more fiercely and tightened my arms around his neck, "No! The dream could come back....I don't want to go back....Even in my dreams, it KILLS me to lose you for the shortest second."

Understanding flickered in Edward's eyes and he shook his head, "Bella, that'll never happen."

I argued, "You didn't have a choice..." I broke off, trying to find the strength to say the words out loud, "Jacob KILLED you..." I broke off again, stifling sobs. "Don't make me go back there--" I begged, through sobs of fear.

Edward sat us down and readjusted me in his arms so that he was cradling me to his chest, my whole body propped between his legs and his chest, his legs pulled up to his chest, leaving just enough room for me. One of his arms was wrapped around my shoulders his hand lightly massaging the shoulder it was resting on, and his other hand was resting on the side of my neck, with his thumb on my cheek, and he pulled my head gently to his chest and leaned the side of his head against the top of my head.

My arms were desperately linked with the forearm of his arm that was resting on the side of my neck, and I was trembling violently in his arms.

He kissed my head repeatedly and simply waited for me to calm down before saying, in a voice barely above a whisper, "I tried to wake you up, but you wouldn't. It wasn't until you said: 'Edward--if I die--I love you--' that I really got worried. I knew I had to wake you up from the nightmare, but it didn't work. You were exhausted and obviously needed the sleep."

"Funny, I don't feel like I slept at all." I joked, through my tears.

"What happened?" Edward asked, ignoring my comment.

I took a moment to regain the necessary strength and sighed before explaining my nightmare to him. "It started off just fine....I was changing...into a vampire...but you were there, so I was totally fine."

"Don't lie," he accused, "I heard your screams; don't pretend like it was nothing."

"I didn't say it was nothing, " I said, defensively, "It hurt like HELL, but the pain you felt for me hurt me even worse than any amount of that venom. I never want to see you in such agony again. Please promise me that no matter how much I get hurt that you won't be put in pain because of it."

"I can't do that, Bella." I flinched at the same words that he had used in my nightmare when he refused to fight Jacob.

"What?" He asked, noticing my tensing up and concern.

I shook my head weakly, "That part of the nightmare was nothing compared to the rest. NOTHING." He waited silently, patiently, kissing my temple to urge me to go on, with a slight smile, hugging me closer. "After it was all done..." I began slowly, still scared to even think the words, "I was changed...Jake broke in and began fighting with you. You refused to hurt him, though. You mainly played defense and let him beat the crap out of you--for ME--and when I begged you to fight back--you said those exact words. So, I bodyslammed into Jacob to get him off of you and I killed him..." Those words seemed easier to say for some reason. "But, not before he killed you...." I trailed off, struggling to not break down sobbing again. "I can't lose you again...but DEFINITELY not like that."

Edward pulled my left leg and gently put it around the right side of his waist, encircled my right leg around the left side of his waist, caressed the outsides of my legs, up to my waist, which he traced delicately before leaning my back against his knees and pulling me closer.

I was trembling involuntarily at his remarkable touch and I so yearned to remain like this...with him...forever. I never wanted to leave this place again.

He rested his forehead lightly against mine, took my face in his hands, and forced my eyes to meet his. "Bella," he whispered, confidently, "I assure you that will never happen."

"How do you know that?" My voice sounded dry, forced. "Sam told Carlisle that that is exactly what will happen if we follow through with this."

"Are you having second thoughts?" He asked, trying to sound as if it didn't matter either way, but I could hear the false hope coloring his voice, and I rolled my eyes. "No. Absolutely not. I want this; I want YOU more than anything. But, I don't want it at the price of your life. That cost IS too high."

"No one's asking you to pay that price, Bella. No one will." He shook his head and I sighed, shakily.

"Aren't they? Edward, I don't mind living forever. I know that one day I'm going to lose Charlie and Renee and Jake--although, right now, that thought doesn't bother me, down the road, I know it will--and I'll never see them again. But, I am completely fine with that. As much as I love them, I love you that much more. I can live forever without them, but to try to live without you...is suicide. The mere thought is killing me."

Edward simply stared at me, analyzing my expression and my words. After a moment, he said, "It's not too late. You can still change your mind."

"NO." I said, firmly, almost angrily.

"Bella, the werewolves, the Volturi, everything else--"

"Is not going to scare me away. And neither are you...so just forget about it. Edward, I need this to happen, no matter what happens as a result. Yours is the only life I refuse to sacrifice."

"You don't have to make that choice. I promise you...no one is going to die. Even if war breaks out, we refuse to fight." Edward said, rubbing my arms comfortingly.

"That's what scares me. You are so willing to let the werewolves win and for what? Just to remain the better people? To take the high road? SCREW the high road, Edward. Your life is EVERYTHING to me; don't lose it just for dignity."

"I'm not doing it for dignity, believe me." His voice sounded strained.

"Then, WHY ARE you doing it?" I demanded.

"For YOU. Bella, I know that Jacob hurt you and you have no idea the restraints I've had to use to stop myself from going and ripping him apart right now. It has been so, so hard and I assure you: if I hadn't been alive for over 100 years to develop such control, I would have killed him already, no doubt about it. The only reason I have such control with him is because he saved you when I left you to die...if it weren't for Jacob, I would have had nothing to come home to. I am eternally in his debt for that. That is why I won't kill him. He could have let you die, but he didn't. He gave you back what little of life he could and that allowed me to be with you once again. How can I kill him when he did that?"

I rolled my eyes, "Jacob is no saint; we both know he didn't do that for our sake. He did it for his. He hoped that, given time, I would lose interest in you and I'd turn to him. He only wanted to get laid!"

"Bella!" Edward sounded angry, "We know that is not true. As much as I hate him, Jacob loves you. He really does. He would never use you like that. I wouldn't defend the dog for much, but one thing I know is that I cannot blame him for falling in love with you. It's almost like a necessity in life."

"What, being in love with me?" I asked, doubtfully, irritably.

"Yes." He said, seriously, "I don't know how to not love you. And, if Jacob feels for you anywhere near the way I do, then I truly pity him. And you should too. You are perfect in every way...and leaving you for those seven months...showed me what a fool I would have been to stay away and let Jacob Black have you. I have some mercy on the werewolf, but not much."

"I have NONE." I said, firmly.

"Bella, in a hundred years, when Jacob's gone, you will value him, believe me. You will regret not treasuring him while you could."

"Why are you defending the damn brat?!" I asked, incredulously, "Edward, he doesn't deserve your pity. If you're holding back for my sake, then I am begging you: Please don't."

Edward shrugged, "I'm not defending anyone, least of all him, but I am telling you how it is; how it will be. Just some advice."

I leaned into him and sighed, "Just...promise me...that no matter what happens...if Jacob is fighting you, you'll fight back. Don't sit there and take it for me."

"Even my control isn't that good." He said, with a slight chuckle, "If my life, or yours especially, is being jeopardized by Jacob, it will be the last thing he does."

"Thank you," I breathed into his chest.

He began playing with my hair and tickling the side of my neck with his fingertips. I caressed his neck with the bridge of my nose and I sniffed in his amazing scent that put butterflies in my stomach everytime I smelled it. "I love you," I breathed into the skin right above his collarbone.

He began caressing both sides of my waist with the back of his hands and said, "I love you, too," before kissing my hair again. "Anything else?" He asked, after a minute of this paradise. I gulped and shook my head. "Tell me." He urged, squeezing my waist.

"Charlie told me he hates me, that he never wanted me, he was ashamed to know me, and that I was never his daughter. I can't blame him. I'm the worst daughter in the history of the world." I sounded so miserable, I scared myself.

"Bella, that is not true. You have been an amazing daughter. Charlie loves you."

"After last night, can't say I agree." I protested.

"Bella, look at me." I obliged and he cupped my face in one of his hands and tilted my head up further to look deeper into my eyes. He shook his head, "Charlie does not hate you. That's not why he's so adamant about keeping me from you."

"Then, why?"

"Because, he loves you so much. That's what I was trying to tell you before: you shouldn't move out. He doesn't want you to get hurt like he did. When Renee left, Charlie was devastated; crushed--much like you were when I left--" he flinched, "He still loves Renee and it kills him how things stand between them. He thinks you deserve better than what he got out of life. And, he's right. He just wants you to have everything he didn't. He saw what I did to you and to him it was de ja vu...only when he saw you suffering, it hurt him even more than he hurt when Renee left. He knew how much you loved me and what taking that away had the power to do. He has every right to hate me, Bella. EVERY right."

"No, he doesn't." I protested, fiercely, "I know that Charlie got hurt and I pity him for that. I completely understand how he feels...but he doesn't hate Renee for leaving; why should he hate you? It wasn't his heart that got broken this time. It was mine. My heart; my call."

"Technically, it's my call, because it is just as much mine now as mine is yours." Edward said, "Bella, you can't deny that he loves you. He not only wants you; he needs you. You're all he really has left. Don't do this to him, Bella. He deserves better than that."

"Edward, if he wants me, he has to accept you as his son-in-law. I don't want to leave him. He's my father and I do love him, but he has to realize that every ounce of true happiness in my life is because of you. It's as you said. 'I am because you are.' He can't ask me to give that up. I can't. I won't give you up no matter how much he hates you."

I was rambling, so Edward shut me up with a kiss. I expected him to pull away, but he surprised me by straightening out his legs, rolling over, and lowering me to the grass.

He deepened the kiss and another formed from that one, followed by another, another, another...and from that one I lost count. I don't know how long we kissed, but when he pulled away we were both very breathless and my head was spinning uncontrollably.

He kissed the side of my neck, letting his lips linger, before laying the side of his head against my chest to listen to my heartbeat. He began tapping his fingers along with the beat against my shoulder. My fingers were tangling with his hair and I played with individual strands.

As if on cue, thunder rumbled in the distance and rain began pouring down on us. Edward and I both looked up at the rain, but didn't move. Rain soaked us, but I honestly didn't care. Edward looked back down at me and smiled his crooked smile, while the rain plastered his hair down on his face and raindrops slid down his skin.

He leaned down slowly to reach his lips to mine and as he got closer, I noticed a raindrop on his lower lip. I parted my lips, gathered his lower lip between both of mine, sucked off the water droplet, and moaned as inside of his upper lip caressed the top part of my upper lip and the teardrop above my upper lip. I arched my back to deepen the kiss and his hand slid down to the small of my back and he pushed me in closer to him and kissed me again.

He pulled away for a second and lowered his mouth to my chin to suck off the water droplets that had collected there before sliding his tongue into my mouth and entwining it with mine, practically getting my whole chin in his mouth.

After a beautiful time period, which I could not distinguish, Edward pulled away, kissed the corner of my mouth, and then went back to his previous activity of listening to my heartbeat. We didn't move. We simply laid in this position until enough light was out that we knew it was truly morning. Simply, holding each other and treasuring the beauty and serenity of this glorious moment.