My Idea for Breaking Dawn: The Ultimate War
The werewolves refuse to allow Bella to marry Edward and become a vampire. They are willing to do anything--ANYTHING--to stop that from happening. More barriers threaten to keep Bella and Edward from acquiring their ultimate happiness and they must once again fight for what they want--what they NEED.
30. Chapter 30: De Ja Vu
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I was in excruciating pain...the fire was surging through me worse than ever before. I was screaming my sobs, unable to stop them. "Edward--" I sobbed, reaching for him, "It hurts--" I broke off sobbing again, "It hurts--"
Edward took my hand, held it to his chest, and reached down with his other hand to wipe off my tears. "I know, Bella. It's almost over. Just a little more."
I couldn't see him through my tears, but I could hear the pain in his voice as he said the words. I cringed and began convulsing in paroxysms of pain, struggling to get through this. I had to do it. I had to be strong. For Edward. I hated hearing how much he was hurting. It hurt me even more than the fire did, which was now raging in my chest, burning me so much, I could have sworn I was literally on fire. I was burning to death, I was sure of it. I screamed wordlessly again as the fire spread rapidly to my heart, the venom taking over my body in such a horrible manner--but it wouldn't stop. It couldn't stop. I wouldn't allow it to stop.
Tears streamed down my face and I turned my head deliriously from side to side. "Edward--if I die--I love you--" I broke off, unable to speak, as darkness once again tried to consume me, but I fought it with every ounce of strength I had.
"You are NOT going to die, do you hear me?!" Edward cried, fiercely, tightening his hold on me as he pulled me into his arms, "Bella, you HAVE to get through this. Fight it! For me; for us. I NEED you. Don't you dare leave me! Bella, please--stay with me."
The fire increased even more as it now entered my heart and I sobbed, "No!" I broke off, sobbing wordlessly again.
Edward held me even closer and brushed the hair back from my face with trembling hands. "I'm sorry, baby....I'm so sorry." He mumbled with great difficulty. His fingers were tracing my jawbone lightly and the coolness of them felt so good on my burning skin.
I grabbed his hand, desperately with my clammy hand that was trembling so hard that Edward had to steady it with his own. I brought it down to my chest and placed it over my heart, but the fire was so intense that it did no good. I couldn't even feel the slightest difference. I arched my back and kicked my leg to try to diminish the pain. But, nothing helped. I buried my face into Edward's chest and that helped a little, so I stayed like that, taking in desperate gasps of air.
Edward held me closer and lowered his head to kiss my temple, letting his lips linger, and rocked me back and forth, deliriously.
After what seemed like a million years, the pain finally began to subside and I began to gradually relax in his arms, my breathing evening out slowly. It really was almost over. I could feel the fire dying and fading away.
I exhaled shakily and tilted my head to look up into Edward's eyes. A slight smile was playing on his lips as he said, "Bella...are you with me?"
I nodded weakly and mumbled a small, "Mm-hm," into his chest.
He chuckled, but it sounded strained, "Just a little longer, love....It's almost over." He said, softly, caressing my neck with the back of his hand. I couldn't respond out loud, and he understood, because he merely kissed my eyelids and said, "You did great. I am so proud of you."
I smiled weakly and nestled in closer to him, the pain subsiding more the closer I was to him. I pulled myself closer to him and buried my face into the tip of his collarbone, lightly brushing my lips across it. "I love you," I murmured against his skin. He merely hugged me closer and kissed my hair, unable to express his feelings with words.
Eventually, the pain was completely gone and I heard my heart beat for the last time. My eyes jerked open and I felt the strength and power growing within me.
I sat up and looked at Edward, who helped me stand up and asked, nervously, "Bella?"
I smiled and caressed his face, "Thank you....It's done." He smiled his crooked smile and pulled me up slightly to kiss me.
I tightened my arms around his neck, pulling myself even closer to him, and deepened the kiss, caressing the inside of his lower lip with the tip of my tongue before entwining my tongue with his. I whimpered and pulled him closer to me.
I kissed him one more time before he was somehow ripped away and flying across the room, while I was thrown to the ground. I didn't feel any pain, though. It was like throwing a pebble at a boulder--neither felt pain.
I heard a growl erupt from the other side of the room and I climbed surprisingly gracefully to my feet as I saw Edward dueling with Jacob. Edward was just blocking Jacob's attempts to hurt him and holding him back, but Jacob was throwing as many punches and kicks and bodyslams as he could get in. Both were growling at one another, Jacob glaring at Edward with pure hatred, while Edward's face was perfectly composed into one of determination to keep me safe.
I saw what was going to happen before it did and I couldn't stop the yell that escaped me: "JACOB, NO!" But, he ignored my pleas and let out another yell of rage and bodyslammed Edward into the nearest wall, denting it.
Edward let out a muffled yell and screamed, "BELLA, RUN! GET OUT OF HERE!"
I ran over to them and tried to pull Jacob off of Edward, but he shrugged me off, sending me flying across the room in the other direction. I felt the crater appear in the shape of my body as I hit the cement floor again.
I heard Edward yell my name in concern and then a crash followed that. Jacob let out a yell of pain, but I couldn't care less. Was Edward hurt?
An unfamiliar growl erupted and grew until it bounced off the walls and echoed; loud enough to make Edward and Jacob freeze. I got to my feet and looked around for the source of the noise. Edward and Jacob were staring at me and it was then that I realized that it was coming frome me. Whoa, did I growl?!
Edward loosened his grip on Jacob and made to come over to me when Jacob grabbed him by his shirt and threw him into another wall, causing it to break into the other room and collapse, blocks of cement and sheetrock randomly strewn about.
"EDWARD!" I yelled. I couldn't see him. Was he under the debris? Oh, no.
Jacob ripped Edward's limp body from the rubble, threw him to the floor, and pinned him down.
Edward struggled to escape Jacob's firm hold on him. "Let me GO, Jacob!" Edward said, angrily.
"NO!" Jacob snarled, "You killed the woman I love! YOU. DISGUST. ME!"
"I didn't kill her! She's still alive; now she'll be alive forever."
"SHE'S. DEAD. TO. ME!" Jacob yelled, bitterly.
I was terrified. This was the true battle: choosing to watch my former best friend die or having to watch the reason for my existence die. If I was still human, I would have been hyperventilating and sobbing hysterically by now. I could not make this decision. How could it be expected of me to make this decision? I stared in horror, but I could not look away.
"Edward," I begged, "Fight back. PLEASE. Don't let him kill you."
"I can't do that, Bella." Edward said, his voice sounding almost strangled.
"EDWARD! WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING?!" I yelled, not daring to believe he would really let Jacob kill him for me.
"SHUT UP, BELLA!" Jacob yelled, "This is OUR fight; Stay out of it."
"Don't talk to her like that, Jacob!" Edward warned.
"What are you gonna do about it? You'll be dead!"
Jacob began convulsing and trembling in fury and I recognized this as signs of him changing into the werewolf.
No! My nightmare was coming true. I couldn't let that happen. Jacob would not kill Edward; he'd have to kill me first. I would see to that. I would not let Jacob Black ruin my life again. Once was agony enough, twice, would no doubt kill me.
I bodyslammed into Jacob as hard as I could, not holding anything back, using all of my newfound strength, and threw him off of Edward.
"NO!!!" I screamed, through hysterical tearless sobs. "No! Not again."
I effortlessly grabbed him and thrust him into the nearest wall, causing him to not only break through it, but through it, to the outside, landing on a shabby, old shed, made of now rotting and termite-infested wood, sending it crashing to the ground.
Before he can climb to his feet to fight back, I am hovering over him, three years of angst, anger, guilt, regret, and sorrow for what had become of us taking over me. "How could you?" I said, struggling to keep my voice steady, shaking my head in disbelief.
I made to hit him again, but before I could blink, Edward was standing in between us, but this time he was protecting Jacob.
He put his hands out, as if to stop me if necessary, and glared at me fiercely, firmly, but in manner that assured me that he loved me and that's why he was doing this.
"Edward, get out of my way!" I commanded, growing frustrated with his utter determination to keep me happy. Honestly, his loyalty would have made the old Bella happy, but I wasn't so sure it was what I wanted anymore. If I had to choose between Edward and Jacob dying, God knows I would have no choice but to let Jacob die. I would never have him live over Edward.
"No, Bella." He said, firmly.
I made to move him out of my way, but he was still much faster than me, by no surprise, and he grabbed my wrists and forced me to look at him. "You're not a killer, Bella. I won't let you do this. Jacob is not worth it. Please...trust me. You cannot kill him."
"Can't I? Edward, I'm tired of him trying to sabotage us. After everything he's done to us, how can you be okay with letting him walk away from this?"
"Bella, I promised you when you were human that you would never have to face the decision of killing. I would never let that burden fall upon you and I'm not letting you give in to the instincts like I did. Please, Bella...do not repeat the same mistakes I did."
"Look at him, Bella. He's still your best friend. Somewhere deep inside him, your best friend still lives. The one you love; the one who loves you."
At that moment, Jacob turned back into the human and my expression softened. I began trembling with fear, thoughts of what I was about to do tearing at me.
Jacob stared up at me pleadingly. "Bella..." he forced out, "I do still love you. Nothing will change that. I'm sorry...for everything."
I couldn't believe him. After everything he did to me, to my family--to Rosalie, to Carlisle--to Edward, I could never look at him the same way again. I could not look at him and see my best friend--the one I had fallen in love with.
Edward slowly loosened his grip on me, took my face in one hand, forced me to look at him, and begged, "Don't kill him, Bella. Please...please, don't. I know you still love him."
I glared at Edward. "No...I don't. Not anymore. I don't. I don't still love him. But, I don't not love him either. I just fell out of love with him when he hurt the one I have always loved."
Edward released me and turned his attention to Jacob, who still glared at him with pure hatred and loathing. "You will never come near my Bella ever again; is that clear? You will leave us be and move on with your own life. I saved your life; it means nothing to me. You mean nothing to me. But, you mean the world to Bella and I couldn't let her do something she would regret later. But, I swear to God, if I so much as catch your scent near her again, your worthless, no good hide is mine. And this time, I will finish the job. I won't let you get away unscathed. Is that understood?"
Jacob glared at him, not answering with words, but with forced, enraged breaths and desperate gasps for oxygen.
I put my hand on Edward's shoulder and said, "Wait a minute. I'm not done with him yet."
Edward cast me a warning look, but I merely nodded in acknowlegement before stepping to right beside Jacob, who was still on the ground.
I glared at him, screamed with rage, pulled my fist back, and thrust it into his jaw, enjoying that my hand didn't break as a result this time. "That is for hurting my family;" I pulled him up and thrust my knee into the other side of his jawbone, "That's for making me fall in love with you;" I kneed his jaw several times, before kneeing him in the gut, "That's for breaking my heart, and this;" I thrust my knee into his groin as hard as I could, and watched as he collapsed, stifling screams of protest and pain, "Is for hurting Edward."
I kicked him in the ribs and said, coldly, "I don't know how I could've ever loved you, you worthless DOG!"
Edward finally pulled me back slightly, his grip tightening protectively. "Come, Bella, we must hurry. The pack is on its way to back up Jacob and the Volturi will be here soon. We must go."
I cast Jacob one last look of utter hatred and betrayal, before saying, "Stay out of my life, Jacob Black. Or you won't have one anymore." The threat didn't sound nearly as effective as Edward's did, but Jacob nodded once in response, agreeing to the terms.
Edward took my hand and before I knew it, we were practically flying our way back to Forks.
First, though, we stopped in an unfamiliar location and I furrowed my eyebrows. "Where are we, Edward?" I looked around and took in my surroundings.
I was nowhere I recognized; but something did catch my attention. It was strange. What used to nauseate me and cause me to feel so lightheaded, I literally passed out, was now engulfing me, making my mouth water--figuratively speaking.
I could feel the rush and desire surge through me as I searched for some source of what was now my very own Elixir of Life. Once I pinpointed it, its exact location, needing no more of Edward's assistance, but rather wishing him away, so I could do this alone. It felt more powerful and stronger that way.
I did not need Edward's confirmation of my suspicions--the look on his face confirming the truth--but he answered nonetheless, "Your very first hunt. I know it can be confusing, but just focus. Find what you want, locate it, and go for it. I assure you, nothing will--"
But, I was no longer listening to him. My instincts had gotten the best of me and I could hear nothing but the slight rustlings in the bushes and trees; see nothing but what I so longed for; feel nothing but the desire and lust for blood taking over me, turning me completely into my fated creature; smell nothing but the rich, intoxicating, irresistible scent that engulfed me, surged through me, pleading with me to taste of it now. It was as if I had no other options; I had to go for the kill and now.
As the unsuspecting creature edged in closer, I closed in on it, taking in its every movement, waiting for the opportune moment to attack. Before I really knew what was happening, I lunged for the creature and now felt nothing, but the sweet quenching of my unbearable thirst. No struggle from the animal, no sound of pain; it was an instant death. The animal had no idea what had hit it. It was too late to even try to defend itself.
It seemed like a lifetime before I realized that I had drained it of every ounce of blood in its system and there was nothing else. I pulled away and looked to see that it was an elk that I had killed.
I looked up at Edward, who was now beside me, smirking in a strangely proud way. "Elk is one of the many numerous species of deer in Colorado. This area's having an overload of them, so we're actually doing them a favor. We'll try every animal until you find the one best suited for you."
I rose to my feet, still not sure if I had really completed my first hunt. It seemed too easy. I simply stared at him, waiting for him to either praise or criticize my technique.
He cocked his head and narrowed his eyes. "What? Are you finally seeing the bad in your decision? Are you having regrets?"
"No!" I said, immediately, shaking my head, "No, not at all. I just--I'm an amateur. I feel like I should be told if I'm doing it right or not."
He grimaced, "There's no right way to do it, really. Just steer clear of human blood, and that's pretty much the only restriction. After that, you're on your own. It's all you, Bella. No one can teach you to hunt or say whether or not it's the right way."
I nodded. "I'm weird like that. I just like knowing that I make you proud."
He smiled, drew me into his arms, kissed my head, and said, "I have never been more proud of you than I am at this moment. You were so strong; you endured all the pain with such indescribable strenth. And for what? For this: an endless life of blood, blood, blood, and more blood?"
"That's not why I did it. I did it for you and you alone."
He kissed me soflty on the lips before saying: "You were remarkable. Honestly, for a first time, you did amazing. Your senses were right on target and you completely succumbed to what your inner self was telling you. You never fought it. The rest of us did. That's what made us so weak in the beginning. That's what makes some of us so weak still. You will never have that problem. I assure you."
I smiled in return and he said, "Now, we must go. We need to be there by the time the Volturi comes. I will not leave our family alone to fend for themselves."
Without a word, I took his hand and we were once again running back to Forks, making sure to stay away from as many people as possible so as to not waken my temptations.
- Chapter 1: Nerves
- Chapter 2: Confessions
- Chapter 3: Choice
- Chapter 4: Hostage
- Chapter 5: Rescue
- Chapter 6: Inscription
- Chapter 7: Negotiations
- Chapter 8: Rage
- Chapter 9: Endless Conflict
- Chapter 10: Nightmare or Vision?
- Chapter 11: Reassurances
- Chapter 12: Confusion
- Chapter 13: Tension to Reconciliation
- Chapter 14: Assurances
- Chapter 15: Parting
- Chapter 16: Rosalie VS. the Werewolves
- Chapter 17: Torture and Rescue
- Chapter 18: Resolutions
- Chapter 19: Waking Up
- Chapter 20: I do, but I don't
- Chapter 21: We do
- Chapter 22: Reception
- Chapter 23: Possession
- Chapter 24: Depossession
- Chapter 25: Perfection
- Chapter 26: Bliss
- Chapter 27: Unexpected
- Chapter 28: Final Good-byes
- Chapter 29: Inevitablility
- Chapter 30: De Ja Vu
- Chapter 31: Surprise
- Chapter 32: Beginning
- Chapter 33: Solution
- Chapter 34: Training
- Chapter 35: Strategy
- Chapter 36: War
- Chapter 37: Over
- Chapter 38: Breathe
- Chapter 39: Hunting
- Chapter 40: Compelled
- Chapter 41: Utopia
- Chapter 42: Caught
- Chapter 43: Shower for Two
- Chapter 44: Cleaning Up
- Chapter 45: Forever
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- 19 Jun 08
- 02 Mar 09