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He's Gone

Summary:
This is my take on the first week after Edward left Bella in New Moon.


Notes:
This all belongs to Stephenie Meyer. Please review and let me know what you think of my first story.


1. Chapter 1

Rating 4.5/5   Word Count 757   Review this Chapter

He’s gone. He’s gone. He’s gone. Didn’t love me. Didn’t want me. He’s gone. He’s gone. He’s gone. The words played in my mind over and over. I heard nothing else. I saw nothing at all. Never had I been so trapped inside my own mind. Nothing was real except the words playing in my mind. He’s gone. He’s gone. He’s gone. Didn’t love me. Didn’t want me. He’s gone. He’s gone. He’s gone.

I couldn’t feel anything. I was detached from my body. It was the only thing that kept me from the excruciating pain that threatened to pull me under, but my mind still repeated that horrible, unbearable knowledge. I couldn’t escape those words. They played without ceasing in my mind. He’s gone. He’s gone. He’s gone. Didn’t love me. Didn’t want me. He’s gone. He’s gone. He’s gone.

Time had no meaning. It could have been thousands of years or merely seconds that the words played in my head. I was trapped in a void where time did not exist. Nothing existed. Nothing mattered. Nothing but the words playing in my mind. He’s gone. He’s gone. He’s gone. Didn’t love me. Didn’t want me. He’s gone. He’s gone. He’s gone.

“It’s going get better, Bella. I’m taking you to Florida.” It was the first thing to break through the words running through my mind. However, it didn’t last long. The words took over, and I didn’t care about what might be going on around me. I only cared about the words playing in my mind. He’s gone. He’s gone. He’s gone. Didn’t love me. Didn’t want me. He’s gone. He’s gone. He’s gone.

Florida. The realization suddenly hit me and my mind cleared. I must not go to Florida. The very thought of leaving Forks brought on a spasm of pain. I jumped out of bed and saw Charlie and Renée packing my clothes. I yanked the clothes out of the suitcase and screamed. Everything after that became a blur. I acted on instinct, throwing clothes and anything else I could get my hands on around my room. I dimly knew I must be scaring Renée and Charlie by my behavior, but I couldn’t stop. I just threw items around my room and listened to the knowledge once again playing in my mind. He’s gone. He’s gone. He’s gone. Didn’t love me. Didn’t want me. He’s gone. He’s gone. He’s gone.

My energy wore out quickly. As the adrenaline left my system, the pain returned. I curled into a ball and gasped for breath while tears ran down my cheeks. Charlie left and Renée tried to soothe me for a while, but I couldn’t be soothed. Eventually, she left too. I was alone. I rocked back and forth fighting with the pain that wanted to trap me in my mind again. I knew the only way to stay in Forks was to pick up the shreds of my life that remained and try to be normal for Charlie. I didn’t know if I could do that, especially with the pain and the knowledge that wouldn’t leave my mind. He’s gone. He’s gone. He’s gone. Didn’t love me. Didn’t want me. He’s gone. He’s gone. He’s gone.

I stayed like that all night fighting with the pain. Eventually, my body went numb because it could no longer stand the pain, but I was still functioning. Perhaps this was the answer. I got up and looked at my clock. 5:00 A.M. Charlie and Renée would be up soon, and I would have to face them. I felt a twinge of guilt for what I must have put my parents through. I glanced at my clock again. This time I glanced at the date. I had managed to survive the first week with the knowledge running through my mind. He’s gone. He’s gone. He’s gone. Didn’t love me. Didn’t want me. He’s gone. He’s gone. He’s gone.

I heard Charlie getting up. I took a few steadying breaths and tried to push everything into the darkest corners of mind. This would be my life now. I would live for Charlie and Renée. I would try to survive with HIS presence staring at me everywhere. A constant reminder. I would live in the present second only and learn how to control my thoughts Perhaps then I would be able to exist, even with the knowledge now burned in my mind. He’s gone. He’s gone. He’s gone. Didn’t love me. Didn’t want me. He’s gone. He’s gone. He’s gone.