Text Size Large SizeMedium SizeSmall Size    Color Scheme Black SchemeWhite SchemeGrey SchemePaper Scheme        

Knock 'Em Out

Summary:
Songfic. Bella enters a talent show, and sings a song dedicated to Mike, Lauren, and Jessica!


Notes:


1. Chapter 1

Rating 5/5   Word Count 1158   Review this Chapter

“Alice, why did you sign me up for the talent show? And especially, why did you pick this song? I’ve never even heard it before!” I ranted to my best –vampire- friend.

“Because, Bella, it’s an awesome song, and seriously, why not? I’ve heard you sing in the shower. It isn’t as if you have a really bad voice that would make humans claw their ears out.” she told me. I sighed.

I didn’t want to give in, but I didn’t see any choice in the matter. Knock ‘Em Out by Lily Allen? I had never even heard of this girl, let alone sing one of her songs.

“Fine, where are the lyrics? If I’m gonna sing this, I don’t want to make an idiot out of myself.” I surrendered. Alice ‘magically’ pulled a sheet of paper out from her jacket, and handed it to me.

I quickly read over the words on the page. Then I started laughing. “This song is excellent! Oh, I know. I’m going to dedicate this song to Jessica, Lauren, and Mike! Wouldn’t that be great?” I asked her.

“Wouldn’t what be great?” a velvet voice said from the doorway.

“The song Bella is going to sing at the talent show! Knock ‘Em Out by Lily Allen! And she’s dedicating it to Lauren, Jessica, and Mike.” Alice told him.

He nodded, and then laughed. I looked back and forth between the two, confused. “Okay, what’s going on?” I demanded.

“Alice just showed me a vision of the performance. The looks on those three’s faces are priceless.” Edward told me.

“Well, there is no time like the present. So, I’ll get the song, and be back in about…” Alice broke off, and went blank. “…two minutes.”

I leaned into Edward’s hold, his arms draped around my torso carefully.

“Do you really want to do this?” he whispered in my ear.

I shook my head. “Not really, but maybe Mike will finally get the hint, and leave me alone.”

“Or he’ll just think you sung the song about me, and feel the need to be your knight in dull funky looking armor.” I giggled at his wording. He kissed the top of my head.

“Okay, you two lovebirds, none of that!” Alice joked from my window sill. I jumped slightly at the unexpectedness of her voice. Edward and Alice both laughed (well, giggled in Alice’s case).

Alice walked over to my stereo and put the disk in, flipping to track two. A piano melody came on, followed by drums. As the opening words started, I laughed.

“This song is perfect!” I said, smiling like crazy. Alice nodded in agreement.

“Okay, let’s practice. I’ve already signed you up, so there are no worries about that. You have roughly a week and a half to practice. I know you can get it by then.” Alice told me.

-- (One and a half weeks later, at the performance) --

“I don’t know if I’ll be able to do this, Edward! All those people out there!” I moaned.

“Don’t worry, love. If you get really nervous, just look at me or Alice. We’ll be standing near the front, okay?”

A voice came over the loudspeakers. “Next up is Bella Swan!” For some strange reason, people cheered.

“Good luck!” Edward said, kissing me, and giving me a slight nudge out onto the stage. I walked, very carefully, over to the microphone, and adjusted it to my height.

“This song is dedicated to three people: Lauren Mallory, Jessica Stanley, and Mike Newton.” I said into the mike. The opening music to the song came on, and I started.

Alright so this is a song about anyone, it could be anyone
You're just doing your own thing and someone comes out of the blue
They're like,
"Alright"
What you saying,
"Yeah can I take your digits?"
And you're like, "no not in a million years, you're nasty
Please leave me alone."

Cut to the pub on a lads night out,
Man at the bar cos it was his shout,
Clocks this bird and she looks ok,
She caught him looking and she walks his way,
"Alright darlin, you gonna buy us a drink then?"

"Err, no, but I was thinking about buying one for your friend."
She's got no taste hand on his waist, tries to pull away but
Her lips on his face,
"If you insist I'll have a white wine spritzer"
"Sorry love, but you ain't a pretty picture."

You can't knock 'em out, you can't walk away
Try desperately to think of the politest way to say,
Just get out my face, just leave me alone,
And no you can't have my number
"Why?"
Because I lost my phone

Oh yeah, actually, I'm pregnant, having a baby in like, 6 months so no, and yeah, yeah

"I recognise this guy..."
That's what she's thinking,
As he walks over her face starts sinking,
She's like,
"Oh here we go..."

It's a routine check that she already knows, she's thinking
"They're all the same."
"Yeah you alright baby? You look alright still, yeah what's
Your name?"
She looks in her bag, takes out a fag, tries to get away,
From a guy on a blag, can't find a light.
"Here use mine"
"You see the thing is I just don't have the time."

You can't knock 'em out, you can't walk away
Try desperately to think of the politest way to say,
Just get out my face, just leave me alone,
And no you can't have my number
"Why?"
Because I lost my phone

Go away now, let me go
Are you stupid? Or just a little slow?
Go away now I've made myself clear,
Nah it's not gonna happen
Not in a million years

You can't knock 'em out, you can't walk away
Try desperately to think of the politest way to say,
Just get out my face, just leave me alone,
And no you can't have my number
"Why?"
Because I lost my phone

You can't knock 'em out, you can't walk away
Try desperately to think of the politest way to say,
Just get out my face, just leave me alone,
And no you can't have my number
"Why?"
Because I lost my phone

Nah, I've gotta go cos my house is on fire,
I've got herpes, err no I've got syphilis...

When I finished, cheers filled the area, and I saw the looks on the three people whom I dedicated the song to. They were hilarious.

Mike’s was a look of confusion, as if he didn’t know why I dedicated that song to him. Jessica and Lauren had differing looks of anger. Lauren’s face was a dark, mottled red, while Jessica just had a very ugly frown on her face.

“Thank you, very much!” I said to the audience. “I won’t be here all week, sorry!” I giggled. I walked, very carefully (again), off the stage, into Edward’s waiting arms.

“That was fantastic, love. Great job. And from Newton’s thoughts, he does not think that you sang the song about me.” he told me. I laughed, glad that he realized that I wasn’t attracted to him. Then again, knowing him, he’ll think I was just playing hard to get.