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Fighting Back

Summary:
Bella tries to keep Edward from leaving, that day in the forest. Will he agree, relieved that she still believed that he loved her? Or, will he leave anyway? Just a little One-shot.


Notes:
The first part of it is almost exactly out of New Moon. Stephenie Meyer owns it all!


1. Fighting Back

Rating 4.5/5   Word Count 937   Review this Chapter

Edward leaned against a tree and stared at me his expression unreadable. I had a bad feeling about what was coming next as a strange feeling of déjà vu passed over me.

“Okay, let's talk,” I said. It sounded braver than it felt.

He took a deep breath.

“Bella, we're leaving.”

I had to wrap my arms around myself to keep from falling to pieces. I understood what it meant, and I thought I had been prepared for it. But I still didn't know why it had to be know.

“Why now? Another year—”

“Bella, it's time. How much longer could we stay in Forks, after all? Carlisle can barely pass for thirty, and thirty-three now. We'd have to start over soon regardless.”

I couldn't comprehend his answer. I thought the point of our leaving was to let his family live in peace. Why were we leaving if they were going? I stared at him, trying to understand.

His cold gaze held mine.

With a roll of nausea, I realized I'd misunderstood.

“When you say we—,” I whispered.

“I mean my family and myself.” Each word he said was separate and distinct.

I shook my head back and forth mechanically, trying to clear it. He waited patiently while waiting for me to speak.

“Okay,” I said. “I'll come with you.”

“You can't Bella. Where we're going . . . It's not the right place for you.”

“Wherever you are is the right place for me.”

“I'm no good for you, Bella.”

“Don't be ridiculous.” I tried to sound angry, but it sounded more like begging. “You are the very best part of my life.”

“My world is not for you,” he said grimly.

“What happened with Jasper—that was nothing, Edward! Nothing!”

“You're right,” he agreed. “It was exactly what was to be expected.”

“You promised! In Phoenix, you promised that you would stay—”

“As long as that was best for you,” he interrupted to correct me.

“No! This is about my soul, isn't it?” I shouted, furious, the words exploding out of me. It still sounded like a plea, somehow. “Carlisle told me about that, and I don't care, Edward. I don't care! You can have my soul. I don't want it without you—it's yours already!”

He took another deep breath and stared at the ground, not really seeing it. His mouth twisted the tiniest bit. Finally, when he looked up, his eyes were colder—like the gold had frozen solid.

“Bella, I don't want you to come with me.” He spoke the words slowly and precisely, his eyes on my face. He watched carefully as I absorbed what he was saying.

“You don't want me?” I tried out the words that had already been burned into my mind.

“No.”

I always knew that this day could come. It never made sense for him to love me, no matter how many times he said he did. I was just a plain human. What could I offer to a vampire who already had everything he wanted?

“Why did you have to lie to me? All those times, Edward. Why didn't you just leave after that first day in Biology?” I took a deep breath, trying to steady myself and hold the tears back. “Why did you waste all of your time?”

His eyes confused me. They held pain, anger, and maybe . . . relief? This last emotion did not make any sense to me. Was he relieved to almost be rid of me, after all of his wasted time. He said something quietly to himself, which sounded like, “You always could see through my pretenses, couldn't you.”

“Bella, I do love you. Never doubt that. But I can't keep doing this,” He paused, taking in my bewildered expression. “Acting human. I'm not, and I haven't been for a long time. I have to stop pretending, and it's easiest if I leave before I get so attached that I can't. You're no good for me, Bella.”

I swallowed, doing my best to keep the tears back, but it was no use. “Why...” I started, but couldn't finish.

“I couldn't stay away from you Bella. That was why I stayed. I don't know if I can now, but I have to try. I have to keep you safe,” He paused. His expression flickered to pain for a moment, then went back to being cold and lifeless.

“Promise me you'll stay safe. Don't do anything stupid.” Seeing my nod, he continued. “In return I promise to make things as if I never existed. You will never hear from me or my family again.”

I watched as his mouth twitched a bit, almost grimacing. I reached out to him, and I thought he was trying to reach me too. But instead, his hands gently pushed my wrists to my sides and left me with a peck on the forehead.

“Goodbye, Bella.”

I felt an unnatural breeze, and he was gone.

***

I woke with a start, the sunlight streaming in through my window. I felt something wet on my pillow, and knew without looking that it was just from the tears that were still streaming down my face. Looking at the clock, I realized that I would be late for school. But I didn't care. I had learned enough for one day. I had learned that even if I had tried to get him to stay, he would have gone.

“It will never be as if you never existed. What a stupid promise to make,” I said to myself, rolling over to face the wall. “It was broken before you made it.”