The Little Vampire

Aro:

My dear Cullen boy, it’s what we live for

To kill unfortunate vampires like yourself.

Pathetic souls, with no way else to kill you.

I admit that in the past we’ve been nasty

They didn’t know when we were well…vampires.

But you’ll find that now a days

We’ve thought of everyway…

To maim

To kill

And maul the untamed

True, yes

And I fortunately have a little talent

It’s a power I always have used

And here lately, please don’t laugh

We use it on behalf

Of the violent

Cunning

And possessed

Wastes of space!

Utterly pathetic souls…

Causing pain

Evil fiends

This one longing for some blood

That one wants to get some action

And do we kill them?

Yes indeed!

Those utterly pathetic souls

So bad

They’re through

Some come running to Volterra

Crying:

"We’re dying!"

"Save us please!"

And I’ll kill them

Jane:

Ahem?

Aro:

Yes they do!

Now it’s happened once or twice

Someone knew a bit too much

And I’m afraid we had to SLAUGHTER them all at once

Yes I do a bit of boasting

Marcus & Caius:

Idiot

Aro:

But on the whole I’ve been a king!

To those utterly pathetic souls!

Here’s what we’re going to do Cullen I know a way we can kill you in less than three years It’s got a serious outcome… Sort of a fang and claw attitude: Before the moon rises on the third year You have to report back here to the three of us If you do, we may think about killing you.

Edward: And if I don’t?

Aro: Nothing important son, I’m sure. Oh look a hangnail!

Marcus & Caius:

Oh good God!

Aro:

Anyway, we do nothing and nobody will really care These shoes… Don’t you just love ‘em?!

Marcus & Caius:

Oh for the love of-

Aro: Of course there is another thing Our fee!

Edward: But I don’t have anything

Aro: We’re not asking for much Just… A servant?

Edward: A servant? But if I’m a servant, in three years how will you-

Aro:

You’ll have your muscle

Your amazing hair!

Everyone:

What?!

Aro:Ahem…

Edward, you musn’t underestimate the power of…

Mind reading!

The folks out there don’t need to know

They think vampires are a myth!

Yes out there it’s much feared

For vampires to be real

And after all son

What are little white lies for?

Come on!

You’re family’s not all that impressed with you

True family would enslave you while they can

But they hope and wish and pray

For a servant who will stay

And he, who can’t beat them, joins them.

Come on you…

Utterly pathetic soul!

Go on now

Decide here

We’re very busy eating

And we haven’t got eternity…

Everyone: Ahem?

Aro:

It won’t take long

Just side with us!

You utterly pathetic soul

We’re bad

It’s true!

If you want to die soon son…

Choose now, we’ve got a meal

Bar the fangs, show your claws, go ahead and make the deal!

Marcus, Caius now I got him brothers!

The vamp is on a role…

You…utterly… pathetic soul!

Marcus & Caius:

Aro we truly need to stop now

Jane:

Come we must leave

Demetri:

I really want to eat

Heidi:

Save some for me!

Aro:

Now leave, leave us right now

Edward:

That was odd

I don’t understand…

What is going on!

Oh no!

Wait…

What?

I can’t die?!

Oh no!

Aro:

Now don’t tempt us

I didn’t think so

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Vampire child!

HA HA HA!!!