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Pranks, Gossip, Everything Really

The Cullen’s and Bella decide to play a series of games – 10 fingers, truth or dare, all sorts. Why does Jasper have a donkey? Is Edward wearing a map? Why is Alice wearing clothes from Asda that don’t match? Why is Emmet in big trouble with Rosalie? And, is Rose making out with that guy? Read to find out way more funny things! PS: BELLA IS A VAMPIRE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!PPS: PLEASE REVIEW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Not Stephanie Meyer, and I don't know her.

2. Beware of Frogs

Rating 5/5   Word Count 1483   Review this Chapter

“YOU KISSED THE ENTIRE GOSSIP GIRL CAST?” Edward and Jasper roared at the same time, spitting venom everywhere.

And,” Emmet said, “they used tongues so they could get free things from them.”

“WHAT!” Edward and Jasper roared again.

“Err . . .” Me and Alice looked at each other, unsure what to do.

“Rose had sex with the guy who plays Chuck.”

“WHAT?” Emmet roared.

“Alice!” Rose shouted at her, annoyed that she had told her husband that . . . well she did that.

“What? If we’re in trouble because of your husband, I wanted payback. Beside’s, he pinkie-swore.”

“So?” Emmet asked.

“If someone breaks their pinkie-swear,” I answered, “girls declare war on whoever was stupid enough to break it, meaning . . .”

“They’re at war at you.” Jasper informed Emmet.

“Rose . . .” I told her, hinting what was agreed by all girls if that someone was your husband.

“I want a break.”

“NO! I didn’t mean to! I swear I didn’t mean to!” Emmet cried, down on his hands and knees. I couldn’t help but laugh – a giant, muscled vampire, begging at his hands and knees.

A pair of stone cold arms wrapped around me, “So . . . were they better kissers than me?” Edward asked, leaving a trail of kisses from my shoulder down to my hand.

Even though Edward and me had been together for so many years, this still didn’t make my unbeating heart flutter in my chest. “Of course not.” I said. “No one could ever be as good as you.” I turned to face him, kissing him on the mouth, wrapping my arms around him. He did the same, his hand creeping up my shirt . . .

Our tongues entwined, he ran up the stairs, him carrying me bridal style. Just as we were getting intimate, Emmet ran in, “Guys! I found them!” He looked at us. “Oh my God!Is this the first time or . . .” he looked at our embarrassed faces. This isn’t! OMG! My little Eddy isn’t a virgin any more! If I had known I would have thrown a party! Why didn’t you tell me?”

Edward and I looked at each other, at Emmet, and back at each other. “Crazy.” We both said in unison.

Then, the rest of the guys came in, obviously having heard Emmet’s little . . . speech. They were laughing so heard, if they were human, tears would be coming from their eyes!

“Well, we were coming up to tell you it was time to resume our game.”



Straightening our clothing, me and Bella stood, and following them down the stairs. This had to be on of the most embarrassing nights of my life. I saw the girls whispering to each other, obviously planning something. I was trying to read their minds when I found Bella had blocked them. What were they planning?

“Come on, let’s continue the game.” Alice said, an evil grin on her face.

“My turn.” Bella said, an evil grin on her beautiful face. “I have never shredded all of Carlisle’s books, Alice’s hats, Edward’s maps, Jasper’s play scripts or burnt Rosalie’s make-up.”


I laughed in an evil way as I watched the rest of my family, aside from Carlisle and Esme, advance towards Emmet each with a look of vengeance on their faces.

Edward was first, “You’rethe one who shredded my maps?” He seemed very angry, the worst I’d ever seen him. “I’ll deal with you later.” He growled running up the stairs.


GRR! That map-collection-burning-door-cupboard-gluing-book-shredding-hat-shredding-play-scripts-shredding-make-up-burning-annoying-think-he’s-all-that IDIOT!

I knew one thing. My one-of-a-kind map, the only one Emmet hadn’t burnt was not safe. It was time for drastic action! Taking off my clothes, I wrapped my map around me. It made noises as I moved, but it would have to do.

I walked down the stairs, thinking of some sort of a way to get vengeance.

Meanwhile – RPOV


Walking up to him, I hissed, “You’ve done it now.” I whacked him on the head with enough force so it hurt badly, before walking up to our room and taking out his stuff. He followed me, about to open his mouth to speak, I growled, “OUT!”


Hmmm, now how am I to get revenge on Emmet? “Bella, any ideas?”

“Not yet.” She glanced up at the stairs, I didn’t look up, I was thinking.

“Err . . . Alice?” She asked in a low voice, which whoever was approaching wouldn’t hear.


“Is it normal for Edward to wear a . . . map?”

I looked at her as if she was mental, but she just pointed towards the stairs that Edward was walking down wearing a . . . map? I shook my head. We looked at each other, then at Edward, and at each other again before bursting out in hysterical laughter.

“What?” he asked, clueless as to why we were laughing. My mind had been blocked by Bella because she obviously worried Edward would take offence.

“Um . . . Edward?”

“Yes love?”

“Why are you wearing . . . I mean, are you wearing . . . Is that a map?”

“Yes, so Emmet doesn’t burn it.”

Just then, Emmet walked in. He took one glance at Edward’s map, before snatching it off his body, leaving Edward . . . standing there . . . naked. He screamed, “EMMET!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”

While me and Bella sat there, with shocked expressions on our faces, Edward started to chase Emmet around, still wearing nothing, when Carlisle and Esme came out of their room, and Edward ran into them.

“Edward.” Carlisle said in a stern voice.

“Emmet.” Esme said in a stern voice.

“Carlisle.” Edward replied in a stern voice.

“Esme.” Emmet said, in a stern, high-pitched voice, obviously supposed to be an immitation of Edward. Me, Alice nad Bella laughed even harder, if that could be possible.

“Um . . . he has my map!” Edward shouted.

“Um . . . He was only wearing the map, how was I supposed to know-“

“You did know, I heard your mind!”

“Did not!”

“Did too!”

“Did not!”

“Did too!”








“DIDN’T!” “DID!”

Children!” Esme chided them; they however, chose to ignore her.


Children!” This time it was Carlisle.

“DIDN’T!” “DID!” “DIDN’T!” “DID!”

“SHUT UP!”Rosalie roared.

“Okay!” Edward and Emmet said in unison.

“Please be quiet, children.” And with that, Esme and Carlisle left.

“Okay guys! Edward put on your map.” He did. “Emmet stop being weird.”

“Right.” He saluted.

“Now lets play the rest of the game!”

“I’ve never kissed someone of my own sex.” Bella said.



Of course, I had. I mean, half my cars wouldn’t be there if I hadn’t. It was the same with Alice’s clothes, Emmet’s action figures and Jasper’s stamps. Edward and Bella were the only ones who hadn’t kissed someone of their own sex. We’d have to change that.

“My turn!” I shouted. “Hmmm . . . I’ve never dressed up as bat-girl.” Everyone except for me, who knew who it was, looked at Emmet, who was looking at Jasper, who was looking at Bella, who was looking at Alice, who was looking at Edward, who was looking at the ground, with eight fingers left.

YOU dressed up as bat-girl?” Alice asked amazed.

“Well, it was a long time ago.”


Alice burst out laughing, obviously having seen the future, “He (laugh) wondered (laugh) what (laugh) it (laugh) felt (laugh) like (laugh) to (laugh) wear (laugh) female (laugh) clothing (laugh) and (laugh) it (laugh) ripped (laugh) all (laugh) the (laugh) way (laugh) up (laugh) when (laugh) he (laugh) was (laugh) in (laugh) the (laugh) cinema (laugh) and (laugh) he (laugh) didn’t (laugh) realise (laugh) and (laugh) went (laugh) around (laugh) like (laugh) it (laugh) all (laugh) day (laugh) and (laugh) night!”

When she had finished, we were all in fits of laughter, only when we had recovered, did Jasper have a go, “I have never believed frogs were evil and went around clutching a human arm bone to keep them away.” He was looking at Emmet.

“WHAT? They’re evil!”


Who knew this family was so weird. Well, of course they’re weird, I mean we’re vampires, but still!

"Be warned, they'll be the death of you." Emmet told us, but we just burst into fresh fits of laughter. "You may not believe me now, but you will when they kill you and in your last breaths, you say, "Emmet was right." before dying."

We looked at each other, then at him, unsure if he was joking or not. Judging by his expression, for once he was being serious.