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Edward leaves Bella for the second time...
Bella has suffered so much already, barely able to be called human almost...
She tries once again to lead a normal life as if nothing had gone wrong...
But when she goes off to college and meets some interesting people who could help her change her eternity, will memories be enough for her to accept?


12. Synchronization

Rating 4.5/5   Word Count 1556   Review this Chapter

The flight from Juneau to Seattle was the longest, hardest flight of all. I was alert the whole time, having slept for too many hours the day before. And I was alone now, making it harder to keep the memories away while I had nothing to do.

I was quiet the whole way, staring out the window at the pinkish clouds as they slowly morphed into their regular colors. I didn’t pay much attention to anything else, only turning my head to politely decline the refreshments and foods the flight attendants offered.

Edward, Edward, Edward.

I couldn’t think straight. I tried desperately to think of something else, often thinking of Jake, and how I would see him soon. And Maria, knowing they would always be together. How I wished I could have been blessed with a similar fate. I thought of Charlie, happy that I would see him soon, since I usually stayed at college during the holidays and summer, never visiting for long enough. But every time I tried to think of something else, college even, one thought would come rushing back, snapping in my head like an over-stretched rubber band popping in place. Edward.

My eyes stung faintly, not enough that would make me cry, but enough to make me wish I was crying, so this intrusive lump in my throat could dissolve and leave me the heck alone.

The sun slid slyly over the thick blanket of clouds, its rays momentarily blinding me. The colors were beautiful, almost like the dim hint of a rainbow touched them. The sun glittered in peace and I felt numb for a second, too calm. A tear managed its way out from my eye. I let it hang there, let it fall, gently caressing its way down my cheek like a moth’s wing. I breathed in through my nose and closed my eyes in contentment. I felt as if I wanted to stay here. In this little compartment, the second closest place to heaven, floating above all else. The colors were magical up here, and it helped despite the sunshine, to believe he was closer than ever. Even Alaska didn’t do as much for me, even with Jonathan and his little coven of vampire friends.

I noticed as the clouds got darker underneath, the darker they got, the higher the sun set in the sky. I knew it wasn’t much longer ‘til I was boarding the small plane to Port Angeles.

Just as I suspected, about a minute or two later, the pilot came over the loudspeaker, informing everyone of our soon-to-be landing. One of the two stewardess’ came to the front of the plane, informing us to stay seated and to snap our seatbelts on, just as she said that, the little seat-belt lights above started blinking in unison, with a rhythm, like a silent heartbeat.

That thought echoed in my head momentarily, pulsing like a headache, stinging like faint whiplash, I flinched. Silent heartbeat.

“Alright, we are going to land in SeaTac Airport in a few minutes now. If you could please turn off all electronics and refrain from getting up and walking around, we would appreciate that very, very much.” A stewardess announced. She left the scene seconds later when another voice came overhead.

“We have a temperature of 73 degrees Fahrenheit in Seattle, the skies will be partly cloudy. Most part to a fairly nice day, 10% chance of light showers, and we will be arriving at SeaTac Airport in just a few short moments. I hope you have had a nice flight, thank you for choosing American Airlines as your traveling service.”

I sniffled a little and shifted in my seat, hooking the seatbelt just as instructed, grabbing my purse and holding it in place over my shoulder. I leaned back as we started to descend, saying my silent goodbyes to the brilliant sunshine outside the tiny window.

[Somewhere in Alaska] Edward’s POV:

I closed my eyes, sniffing in the icy air. Something pulled on the edge of my memories, a scent.

The very scent of temptation. The smell of my angel, the smell of freesia, strawberries and else combined. I choked back a sob. She’s been near. I knew that.

My lids slowly opened, staring at the dull waters of the ocean. I sat deep in the dark vegetation of a small island, near Stevens Passage, staring away through the fringed trees and choppy waters, about three kilometers north-east out to the University of Alaska Southeast.

How could I ever really leave her? I would always be near, sometimes closer than others. My Bella, my love. Oh, how I missed thee. Maybe I could be in the shadows, like a ghost, the whisper of the wind, watching over her. A guardian angel.

I sighed in frustration at my weakness, I should leave her alone. She may not know that I am near, but I still should. It would be the right thing to do. The sane thing.

When you leave someone, and hurt that someone, and put her in danger, time and time again. Don’t you owe them at least that? To stay away? To not make their life any worse, any more complicated?

I had forced her out of my life. She had been so deeply entwined with it, so close to danger. Her very soul in danger. And I just wouldn’t go along with it. Couldn’t go along with it, being the better description. So deeply entwined that I had cut her out, tear her and hurt her in order to succeed. I was a terrible man.

And succeed I did.

Selfish! Selfish! Stupid, selfish, monster! I moaned, curling in on my self shaking. Trembling, vibrations rocking my body, shooting up my spine, down my bones. “Aargh!” I grunted aloud, knowing no one was on the island, nobody would hear, not even the ferries nearby would hear it. The engine of the boat would probably just drown out the noise, the ocean waters as well.

I snapped up in a second - still shaking - and tried to isolate my anger away form me, try to dump it somewhere else. But it just wouldn’t work. I growled aloud, ripping the nearest tree from the very ground, roots and all, aggravated with myself to no end.

With the twitch of my muscles, I let the tree flow forth, sending my angry energy out with it. A ripping crrack came with it. I paced the hard ground, panting, sobs choking in my throat and gurgling their way out. “Aaaargh!” I tried deep breathes, sitting back on the ground, clawing my fingers into the foundation.

Why? Why? Why? My head swam with indecision. What was left to do? Would I be able to leave? I couldn’t do that.

But I should do that. And I owed her everything. My life, a thousand, million times over.Bella, I groaned, weaker now. My anger transformed into pain, misery. “Bella . . . ,” I whispered into the frozen dirt, clutching myself into the ground. “Bella . . . Sweet, sweet Bella . . . ”

[Somewhere in Washington] Bella’s POV:

Jake had picked me up at Port Angeles just in time, a smile exploding onto his face when he first saw me . . . from a distance. I smiled back too, but the expression seemed off on my face. Almost a grimace, instead of a sign of joy.

“Hey, Bells,” he greeted, with a smaller smile as he now saw my face. He pulled me into a hug. “How’s it going?”

“Great Jake,” I half-lied, into his chest. “Just great . . . “ I muttered to myself. I sucked in a deep breath and pulled away, looking up at his wary expression, trying to smile. “You’ve grown,” I noted.

He laughed, breaking into a full blown smile again, reminding me of the sun breaking over the clouds this morning, my mood instantly got better. “Yeah. I’m getting worried that it will never stop. Billy says my head’s about to go through the roof on the Rabbit.”

I laughed along with him, already more relaxed than I had been all week. “You’re barely noticing?”

He laughed again. “Guess so.”

My breath caught for a second in my throat, an image of Edward in pain breaking into my head. He was sobbing on the ground, I couldn’t see clearly where he was, it was dark. The image left as soon as it had taken over. I shuddered, it had seemed so real.

My breathing hitched for a moment and I grabbed hold of my torso, trying to calm and regulate the pained sobs that had me crying. I stifled a moan of pain, just as it touched my lips, cutting it off into a gasp. I swallowed.

“You okay Bell?” Jake asked. We were in the Rabbit already, driving to Forks. His expression contorted into pain, he tried to smooth out his features, keeping on a calm expression, but the pain never left his eyes.

I knew how much it hurt him to see me like this. I gasped again, trying to breathe. “Mm’ fine Jake,” I choked.

“You don’t seem fine.”

“No, really, it’s nothing. I’m better already,” I said, straightening up as if to prove my point.

“You sure?” he asked, and I could almost see the concern, whisping like mist out of his words.

“Mm’ fine,” I assured him.

But I wasn’t fine, and I knew that. He knew that, yet he didn’t press it any further. What had that been?