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Edward leaves Bella for the second time...
Bella has suffered so much already, barely able to be called human almost...
She tries once again to lead a normal life as if nothing had gone wrong...
But when she goes off to college and meets some interesting people who could help her change her eternity, will memories be enough for her to accept?


5. Change

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I woke up to the usually overcast sky here. I looked out the window, the clouds were dark, carrying rain, I assumed as they roamed above in the open space. I watched the nearby waves crash against the shore, reminding me so much of LaPush. I sighed and went to the miniature kitchen in my apartment, searching the cramped cupboards for some Fruit Loops.

I grabbed a bowl from the counter and pulled out a carton of milk, preparing my simple breakfast as I watched the clock.

I had to be early today to school, in attempt to stay busy, I had volunteered to give a tour of the campus to a couple of high-school graduates. I chugged the remaining milk in my bowl, almost gagging when I drank in too much and tried swallowing hurriedly.

I got dressed in a pair of light-wash jeans and a white t-shirt that displayed the school’s logo. It was mandatory that I wore it. I wasn’t too excited about the tour - why should I be? Surely, at least one in the bunch would be an obnoxious snob and I would end up irritated in the least.

Nevertheless, it was better than hanging around in my room on a weekend. Usually I would just head on up to the library, but it was closed today due to a little remodeling.

I gathered my hair up in a ponytail. It wasn’t so long anymore; it had been one of the things I had changed about myself when I moved here. Now it was just shoulder-length, and not so difficult to mess with.

I hadn’t really changed much when I did move here, just a few things. My truck, for one, had finally given up. I had replaced it then with a car. Not new, but not as old either. A blue, 1996 Chevrolet Cavalier. It also got better gas mileage, which I was eternally grateful for when I visited Forks, every now and then.

I would take a plane but for some reason, I liked the time alone on the road, despite the length of it. Alaska was beautiful. Snow covered almost everything here, and the mountains . . . especially when the sun peeked over them - looking just like the post-cards, except for it being a more perfect image in person.

The way the sun would glitter on the fallen snow, like the little diamonds I had once tried to find in the cold skin of a specific someone. It saddened me, every time. Almost anything would seem to remind me of him. . . . But at least I could count on that to not make me forget.

I liked to think I was stronger now. But time and time again I could feel myself weaken infinitesimally. I thought I was content with everything. Time hadn’t healed me at all, but it had at least gathered my heart together, so the pieces could one day find a way to heal.

I grabbed my coat, despite how warm today was compared to the wintry days here; it was still chilly, very chilly, no higher than 20 degrees Fahrenheit in the morning.

I unhooked my keys from the little hook they hung from in the small hallway that lead to the wooden door, locking it as I walked to my vehicle.

The main building appeared before my eyes, taking no longer than a few minutes to get there. I stepped out of the truck groaning internally. How I hated doing this. I took a deep breath. It could be a lot worse, I thought quietly to myself.

I walked inside, the warmth of the building overwhelming me. I smiled despite myself, not exactly knowing why.

“Good morning,” Sandra mumbled from the front desk, giving me a curious look. I never smiled. It was rare when I did, and to be quite honest, I don’t think I had ever smiled here.

I thought it odd. Maybe I was going crazy after all. I shook the feeling and continued with my sudden good mood, smiling back to Sandra. “Good morning,” I replied.

She seemed shocked.

Was it really all that surprising? I just narrowed my eyes and continued to the auditorium. Maybe I should get out more. . . .

I thought about that for the rest of the day, through the tour and into the night. It wasn’t such a bad idea, I have done enough moping around. Two years of it. Waiting for something. Anything.

It was time to move on. . . .