Edward leaves Bella for the second time...
Bella has suffered so much already, barely able to be called human almost...
She tries once again to lead a normal life as if nothing had gone wrong...
But when she goes off to college and meets some interesting people who could help her change her eternity, will memories be enough for her to accept?
8. Memories Dipped into Reality
Rating 5/5 Word Count 1709 Review this Chapter
I spent the whole night crying. The rain whispered to me, crying with me, trying to calm me down even though it was useless in my opinion. I was going insane.
I tried to repair what was left of my heart. I knew it would be the hardest the first few days, the most painful by any standards, but I continued, as much as I did not want to.
I went to school on Monday as I was supposed to, and met Eliar in the cafeteria during lunch. I didn’t speak much to him, instead keeping my thoughts to myself, fearing that if I spoke I would most likely squeak, or end up crying for that matter.
He didn’t disturb the silence, instead just watched me in the quiet with the curious eyes he held.
I chewed my hamburger in peace, picking it delicately apart with my fingers and plopping it into my mouth before tearing it further apart into tinier pieces and swallowing. My mind was missing in action, not quite there, mourning, I supposed, in a land far away.
I guess Eliar got tired of the silence at last.
“Are you okay?” he asked, sighing, as he walked me to my vehicle.
I turned to look at him, my eyes empty of emotion, a mirror reflecting on the world and not quite getting the angle it was made for.
I didn’t respond.
He stepped closer, reaching up to move the hair from my face with his right hand. “What’s wrong?” he murmured, a worried look dripping into his brown eyes.
“Nothing,” I lied.
He sighed again, sounding more and more frustrated every second. “You can’t say nothings wrong!” he told me. “I haven’t seen you like this since. . . . It’s him isn’t it?” he whispered, comprehension alight on his features along with sorrow as his eyes softened.
I looked away, not sure what my eyes would tell him when I denied. “No, it’s not him,” I whispered so that my voice would not hint something else.
I wasn’t exactly lying. It was he in a sense, but most likely not what he was referring to.
“Then what is it?” he asked, when I had looked back up at him.
I shook my head slowly, ripping my brain apart on the inside so that my current thoughts would change. Edward.
“It’s nothing,” I repeated, turning around to leave.
I walked around my car, ignoring it and everything else and walked down towards the shore nearby, not stopping when my shoes met with the chilling waters. I felt the wind hit my skin, stinging it with the icy spray coming off the gray, dark depths of the ocean.
I closed my eyes and choked back a sob, shaking with the churning emotions as I felt myself sink closer to the edge, the water growing around me.
“Will you do something for me this weekend?” He turned to look straight at me, using the force of his scorching eyes.
I nodded helplessly.
“Don’t be offended, but you seem to be one of those people who just attract accidents like a magnet. So . . . try not to fall into the ocean or get run over or anything, all right?” He smiled my favorite smile.
I took in a ragged breath, my eyes snapped open as the freezing water lapped around me, engulfing me as it compacted my lungs. I couldn’t breathe. My lungs collapsed inside me as I struggled for breath, trying to let a breath squeeze its way through my throat. I gulped in salt-water as it reached new heights, covering even the sky above.
I was surrounded, not voluntarily this time.
“Don’t do anything reckless or stupid.”
* * *
“No! Bella! No!” It was the voice. His voice, I remembered. That is what his voice had told me last time.
My eyes opened. It was not him; it was not even his voice. Just a memory.
Nevertheless, it was enough.
I kicked against the silent waters as I tried to find my way out. I waved my arms in the black, trying to pull away from my end. I thought this was what I wanted, for it to be over, but the promise I had made him was so much stronger. I squinted, trying to find the obscured surface as I clamped my mouth shut.
My breath was gone.
Suddenly everything was a blur. I couldn’t tell memory from present.
“You . . . were . . . risking your life . . . to hear-”
“Shh . . . . Hold on a second. I think I’m having an epiphany here.”
Option three: Edward loved me. . . . “Oh!”
“Oh. Okay. I see.”
“You love me,” I whispered.
He smiled crookedly. “Truly, I do.”
Something hit me, hard, taking me in whatever direction - I could not tell. I heaved against it, trying to unlock myself from whatever tie I was in. Then there was black. . . .
* * *
“She’s not responding!”
“Give her mouth-to-mouth!”
“She’s starting to breath.”
“-at the beach.”
They were just fragments, blurring images of people swimming in my head.
* * *
I was huddled in layer upon layer of blankets, sunk deep inside the warmth.
I stirred under the packed weight and stopped cold, hearing as murmured noises came to a screeching halt.
It was like faint music, lowering the volume further despite the already dead quiet. I could only hear my heart struggling to regulate its pace as I coughed, my throat itching and burning as it came, roughing the edges of dry tissue until it was just a quiet rasp.
“Do you think she’s okay?” someone whispered. It was a woman, that much I could tell. However, the voice of the woman - not familiar - hitting close to home. It was smooth as silk, bells chiming in the wind, creating a beautiful melody as it rang.
“I’m not sure.” A man. Soft whispered words, quiet, yet much nicer than the woman’s twinkling singsong voice. An assuring voice, calming you as if saying, “everything’s going to be all right”.
I coughed again and the soft murmurs were drowned out by my awful screeches. Like nails on a chalkboard.
I stayed under the bulging cloth, my eyes opened as I strained to hear them.
“Do you know what happened?” she asked him.
“Not exactly; I got there when she was already in the water.”
“Oh. . . .”
And that was about it.
I fell asleep not much later, exhausted from everything.
* * *
“And your memories?” I asked.“Well” - “I won’t forget. But my kind . . . we’re very easily distracted.” He smiled, stepping back, but it didn’t reach his eyes. “That’s everything, I suppose. We won’t bother you again.”
* * *
“I’m so sorry,” he murmured into my hair for the last time.
I couldn’t speak, my throat constricted and locked at those words.
He touched me cheek gently. “Bella, this . . . can’t happen. It is . . . an impossibility. Bella, I think you know how much I care for you. I have never meant to hurt you Bella, but I cannot do this. This is not what I want to happen. You don’t deserve this-”
I opened my mouth to interrupt, but he placed his fingers on my lips. “And neither do I.”
* * *
“Bella, do you think it would be fair if I had you hanging on my side for the rest of eternity? Do you think I would like to . . . waste your life like that?”
“Oh . . .,” I whispered, I finally understood.
* * *
“Goodbye, Bella,” . . . “Take care of yourself. . . .”
“No!” I croaked, jerking awake and falling to the ground in a heap. My face twisted with pain as I shook in choked whimpers. I held on to the thick blankets, sobbing desperately into them since I had no one else.
Everyone had truly left me. If not purposefully, fate had taken care of it. Jacob had imprinted, my friend. Angela and Mike were off at college. Charlie in Forks, far away from here. And I did not further the list any. I was alone out here in Alaska, broken. I never imagined my life would be like this, almost a stranger’s life. I just get to act it out for them. Except I did not get that lucky.
Someone rushed into the room at that moment, kneeling next to me, placing a hand on my shoulder. Ice-cold.
The hand left and a concerned voice filled the air. “What’s wrong?”
“Do you mind if I look?” he asked as I began to remove the slide. His hand caught mine and he stopped. His hands were ice-cold. . . .
I shut my eyes close, clutching tighter to the soft material that had been draped over me.
“Are you okay?” It was the soft voice of the man. His concern was sincere. He didn’t place a finger on me again. He just stayed there, never quite leaving my side, waiting. . . .
I awoke sometime later, stirring until I found my way out of the weighty blankets. It was dark and I couldn’t see anything, only seeing shapes all black. He wasn’t there anymore.
I stood up, walking around until I felt my way through. I found the wall moments later after having run into it. I tried to be quiet as I stumbled throughout the room, finding a door finally.
I turned the knob slowly, keeping the blanket around me in case it was headed outside. The door opened without a noise and I stepped inside . . .
Into another room.
It was dim, no light shone through the drawn windows. No bed. Therefore, it was not a bedroom.
A couch stood on the east wall, a small drawer held a phone on one side to it. There was a shelf full of thick books on the south wall, covering the small space there.
The only other thing in the room was a desk with a computer.
I closed the door behind me and carefully walked around the room, studying it. I found a small picture hanging on the empty wall where the door was and walked to it.
It was black and white, no colors. . . . It looked very fragile, old of age. The picture was in a wood-carved frame. The picture itself was simple. A family. I reached with my index finger to touch the delicate thing, laying my fingertips lightly on it.
The door opened.
I paused, removing my hand from the frayed page and stared at the boy who emerged.
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