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Just the way I'd imagined it

Summary:
Its just before Bella and Edward's wedding and both of them are going crazy with nerves.


Notes:
This is my first story, so be nice


1. Nerves get the better of me

Rating 5/5   Word Count 3185   Review this Chapter

It was just one week before the wedding, and despite my reservations at first, excitement was growing inside of me with each passing day. Every time I thought about what was just a few days away, my heart would start to race and the butterflies in my stomach would surge violently again and again. Because of all of the planning, I'd had to spend less and less time with Edward as the big day drew nearer, and I spent much of my alone time either getting in some last minute bonding with Charlie, or deeply immersed in my own daydreams.

My daydreams usually revolved around my wedding. Our wedding, mine and Edward's. The idea of it, the very words, got easier and easier to wrap my mind around every day. I vaguely knew the details of the whole event, mostly because Alice could hardly keep the information to herself or else her giddiness might make her explode. I still protested every time she wanted to tell me about the caterer or the decorations, but secretly I added each addition Alice made to my own personal private fantasy.

One more week of waiting. It seemed like it would never come, but at the same time my future seemed to be rushing towards me at an unfathomable rate of speed. Today, I'd spent most of the afternoon watching a Mariner's game with Charlie, even though I'd barely been aware of even the score through my daydreams. As the game entered the 9th inning, I could hardly stand being stationary anymore; I had to get out of the house. I kissed Charlie on the forehead and grabbed the keys to the car Edward had insisted I drive. I got behind the wheel and drove, just drove, not having any idea as to where I was going or what I'd do when I got there. The engine on my Guardian was quiet, much quieter than my ancient truck had been, and again I slipped into my fantasies, despite my best efforts to stay focused on the road in front of me.

In my dreams, it was sunset, and the clouds had cleared out to let the pinks and oranges of the setting sun cut through the gloom. I stood with Alice just inside the front door of the Cullen's house. Through spaces in the curtains, I could see the scene stretched out on their expansive front lawn; simple white chairs adorned with crimson satin ribbons formed rows on either side of a white aisle strewn with rose petals. Around the seating area and at the end of the aisle were hundreds of crimson candles, flickering gently in the cool evening breeze. I caught, for the briefest of moments, sight of Edward standing at the end of the aisle waiting for me. Even in that short moment, I could see the nervousness on his usually calm face. He chewed anxiously on his bottom lip and wrung his fingers together behind his back. I looked back at Alice standing in front of me, fluffing my veil. She smiled at me and said, "Okay, Bella. This is it. Ready?" I looked to my right and there was Charlie looking more handsome than ever and yet a little worse for wear than I'd like. He offered me his arm and gave me a watery-eyed smile. I took a deep breath and Alice opened the front door, causing every eye in the gathered crowd to focus on me.

In the midst of my fantasy I had driven outside of Forks. I snapped back to the present as I unconsciously turned off of the main road and onto the familiar winding drive leading up to the Cullen house. It had been three days since I'd even laid eyes on my husband-to-be, longer than we'd ever been apart from each other since... I needed to see him. I needed his constant serenity to calm my nerves.

I guess Alice had seen me coming and he'd been able to read her mind because he was walking out the front door as I killed the engine of the car in front of the house. He was the same calm that I had expected and needed, but with a distinctly worried expression on his face as he opened my door for me.

"To what do I owe this pleasure?" he asked me, his worried look softening after he saw that I was still in one piece. All I could do was smile at him, a sense of calm washing over me like a tidal wave. I stepped out of the car and wrapped my arms around his waist, burying my face in his frozen stone chest. He pushed the car door shut and wrapped his arms around me, holding me close, kissing my hair. After a few long moments, he pushed away from me and looked down into my eyes, searching for something that was the matter. I smiled weakly up at him.

"I'm fine, I swear," I said. "I just... I don't know, I just needed to see you." He smiled at me again, my favorite crooked smile, and pulled me close.

"I'm sorry I've stayed away so long. I've just been so nervous, and I've been hunting to pass the time, to clear my head." At this, some unseen cloud seemed to drift across his expression, and he suddenly looked preoccupied.

"What do you have to be nervous about? I've already promised you everything I have to give," I remarked, looking up at him again, amused.

"You could still change your mind. I know you're not too keen on this whole marriage thing." He stared off into setting sun, clearly intending his comment to be taken as a joke, but his expression showing his true feelings.

"Honestly, Edward. When will you realize that I wasn't kidding when I said I wouldn't leave you at the altar?" I tried to make my tone light, but in truth, his nerves were starting to rub off on me, and that was the last thing that I needed.

Normally it was Edward who pulled me out of my funks, but tonight it was clear that I'd be the one doing the pulling. I kept one arm around him and started to walk toward the house. He, like a gentleman, opened the front door for me and we walked inside together. He still seemed preoccupied, and that was certainly not helping my mood. Off to the left of the entryway Emmett and Alice were watching TV, while Jasper read a book, and Rosalie sat painting her nails next to a lamp.

Alice jumped up and danced over to me. "Bella!" she exclaimed in mock surprise. "We didn't have any wedding stuff tonight. What are you doing here?" She looked from me to Edward and back again.

"As if you didn't already know, I just needed some quality Edward time tonight." She smiled a knowing smile and kissed me on the cheek, as she always did, and went back to her place on the sofa next to Emmett. Edward and I walked up the two flights of stairs in silence, arms still around each other, until we reached the door to his bedroom. I turned the knob and walked into the room that was lit by the glow of the rising moon coming through the wall of windows on the far side. He silently closed the door behind us and wrapped his steel hard arms around my waist again. He pulled my back against his chest, and put his lips to my ear. "I'm sorry. I know I'm acting a bit off tonight. I've just got a lot on my mind." His voice was smooth and velvety, as it usually was, his nerves seemed to melt away as he stood there in the dark holding me close to him.

I twisted around in his grasp and looked up into his moonlit face. "You have a lot on your mind? What about me?" He smiled at me again, a little bit weaker this time. "I know, I know," he said. "I'm being selfish. I didn't even let you answer when I asked you why you came over tonight. So again, to what do I owe the pleasure of your company?"

He deep golden eyes were smoldering in the dimly lit room, and I could hardly focus on forming a coherent sentence. When was this trick ever going to loose its effect on me? Did I really want it to? I forced myself to look away before I answered.

"It's been three days since I've seen you. I just needed to make sure you were okay," I pouted.

"I know. I'm sorry I've been away so much lately. Alice has had you so occupied with wedding preparations and I can't seem to keep my focus on anything for too long these days. Hunting seems to be the only thing I can do for any length of time, and Emmett certainly doesn't mind the extra sustenance." He smiled at me again, his expression much less burdened by some unseen emotional baggage than before. "It's been killing me to be away from you, love." He leaned down and brushed his lips against mine, sending chills down my spine, taking my mind millions of miles away from any thoughts at all, good or bad.

When he released me, I walked over to the mammoth bed in the center of the room and flopped down onto the soft golden comforter. In an instant he was laying beside me, smiling again, his golden eyes still smoldering. He kissed me again, his icy lips tracing a line across the left side of my jaw bone and up to hollow below my ear. His teeth gently grazed my ear lobe, sending a fresh wave of goose bumps over my entire body. He continued to kiss my neck and throat, and over the curve of my shoulder through my t-shirt.

"I love you," he whispered against the skin of my neck.

"Mmm..." I breathed, closing my eyes and letting the ecstasy wash over me.

"Are you sure I can't convince you to collect on your demand a little early?" I could feel his lips curving into a seductive smile against my ear, as he referenced my one request before allowing him to turn me into a vampire.

"Edward, if you're trying to test my resolve, it's working," I replied, breathlessly, struggling to keep my voice even and controlled despite my racing heartbeat and trembling hands.

"I know," he whispered before crushing his lips to mine, his kiss hungry and warmer than I'd ever experienced before. I snaked my fingers into his gorgeous bronze hair and kissed him back with equal urgency and hunger. In one swift motion, he had rolled us both over so that he was on his back and I was lying on top of him, our lips never parting even for the smallest fraction of a second.

Before I knew what was happening, he had his icy hands under my t-shirt, tracing soft circles on the skin of my lower back.

Yes... Oh my god, yes... the voice in my head manually shut down all of my self control and I lost myself in his kiss. Our mouths opened simultaneously and our tongues gently started to explore the new spaces in front of them. He slid his hands down my back, over my hips and thighs to the back of my knees and he hitched one leg up so that it hung on one side of his hip. His motion was so fluid and quick that it momentarily jarred my brain out of the fog he had placed me under. I sat up as quickly as I could, causing all the blood to rush to my head making me dizzy. I put my hands over my eyes to keep the room from spinning. I heard him chuckle softly in front of me.

"You're really terrible, you know that?" I asked, my hands still covering my eyes. The room had stopped spinning but I was afraid that if I met his burning eyes again I might loose what little self control I'd suddenly regained.

"I'm terrible? Who's keeping whom prisoner?" he asked, there was a smile in his voice that I didn't understand. I opened my eyes and quickly realized what he meant by keeping him prisoner. In the midst of my haste to break our kiss to clear my head, I had managed to position myself on my knees, straddling his lap in the middle of his bed. I flushed crimson, perhaps every drop of blood in my body rushing to my face in my embarrassment, but I was too mortified to move.

He chuckled again and ran his hands up my legs to rest on the hips of my jeans. I closed my eyes as tightly as I could; trying to somehow muster the strength of will to remove myself from this compromising position but it was nowhere to be found. He then sat up, letting his icy hands slide up the back of my shirt and rest on my shoulder blades. He started kissing my neck again, his smooth marble forehead resting against my cheek, keeping my budding fever at bay. I exhaled loudly, ruffling his hair and I could feel him smile yet again. The room spun and surged again and I hardly realized he was sliding my t-shirt over my head until it was lying on the floor next to the bed. He brought his lips to mine again, and he twisted his fingers into my hair holding me to his kiss, as if I'd try to protest.

The tiny voice of reason in my head had been drowned out by the sound of my rushing blood and pounding heartbeat, and it couldn't tell me to stop as my hands started unbuttoning his shirt. It took much longer to get it off of him than I'd seen it done in the movies, but when I slid it off of his broad stone shoulders; I let my fingers linger on his alabaster skin for just a bit longer than necessary, trying to memorize every contour of his perfect body.

He lifted me up just enough to get enough leverage to roll us both over again so that I was now on my back and he was on top of me, but I couldn't feel his weight. I wrapped my arms around him, tracing the tenuous lines along his muscular back. He moved his lips away from mine again, kissing a soft line down my chin, throat, and down to my breasts, still covered by my simple white lace bra. Self consciousness suddenly nudged its way back into my brain. Shopping for wedding night lingerie had been on Alice's list of things to do that we hadn't quite gotten around to yet and I was suddenly embarrassed my by everyday under garment. He seemed to be unaffected by the lack of sex appeal of my bra because he lips still traveled softly over the exposed skin of my cleavage and breast bone. My breath caught in my throat, and my head started to swim yet again. I felt him trace a thin icy line from my navel up my stomach and then let his finger tips gently graze the thin fabric over my left breast.

I covered my mouth with my hand to keep from giggling out of nervousness. He seemed so self assured except for the almost undetectable tremble in his hands as he slipped one hand under my back to undo the clasp of my bra. In one try he unhooked the tiny clasp and slowly slid the lacy fabric off of my chest and the straps off of my shoulders. I was completely exposed to him now, yet I was comfortable and the spinning of the room started to slow.

He gazed down at me lovingly for a moment, a gentle smile playing across his perfect lips. His finger tips brushed over my newly exposed flesh, covering me in fresh goose bumps. He kissed me again, softer, gentler, slower this time. I felt like I was falling; tumbling out of control into an uncharted blackness. My pulse was racing and I could feel my skin burning against his cold exterior.

Suddenly, there was a momentary stiffness that came over his entire body, and then he relaxed again.

"Damn..." I heard him whisper, halting my dissent into the unknown, bringing me back into the present. "I think we may have to finish this some other night, love," a slight hint of disappointment in his smooth voice. Frantic tears suddenly started to burn my eyes.

"What? Why?" I begged. Why did this always have to happen? Was he having second thoughts about what we were doing?

"Calm down," he soothed in my ear. "Charlie's getting worried. He's wondering where you are."

I groaned. Leave it to my father to ruin the impending love making of his teenaged daughter. Edward sat up and retrieved my bra and t-shirt from the floor, and handed them back to me.

"I think you're really enjoying this, you know?" I said as I redressed myself.

"Where you not enjoying it?" he asked sarcastically, with a single raised eyebrow.

"Of course I was," I shot back, much too quickly. I felt my cheeks heat up. "I meant, I think you're enjoying toying with my emotions like this."

He laughed a hearty laugh and pulled me into his arms again. We laid there on his bed for another few minutes just listening to each other breathing before I finally sat up.

"When will I see you again? Please tell me it won't be days."

"No, I promise I won't go days without seeing you again," he assured me. "But I don't think my sleeping over tonight will do much to help either one of our self control." He flashed me that amazing crooked smile again.

"You're probably right about that. But can you promise me one thing?"

"Anything, Bella."

"Be there when I wake up. I've missed that."

He smiled again, his eyes locked into mine. "Of course."

He walked me back downstairs and held open the door to my Guardian for me. He kissed me one last time before shutting the door and watching me drive down the winding lane back to the main road.