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OH SANTA!

Summary:
Image and video hosting by TinyPic" the cullen's normal christmas banner made by Japanezegurl


Notes:
WOW only one day old and the same amount of review as it took my other story for a 2 weeks and 21 more reads!


1. Chapter 1

Rating 5/5   Word Count 725   Review this Chapter


Narrator: And now it's time for Silly Songs with Alice,
the part of the show where Alice comes out and sings a silly song.
It's Christmas Eve, and Alice is anxiously awaiting the
arrival of Santa Claus with a plate of cookies.

Alice: Oh, Santa!
I can't wait for you to come,
I just can't wait for you to come,
And I've got cookies!
Three yummy cookies!
Just for you for when you come,
Only for you for when you come
Because it's Christmas!

*Knock, knock, knock*

Alice: Could that be Santa?
Could that be him?
Could it be the one who brings presents for a cucumber like me,

A good cucumber like me?
Narrator: Alice is surprised to be greeted not by Santa, but a crafty Bankrobber!

Alice: Who are you?

Bankrobber: I'm a Bankrobber!
And I've come to rob your bank,
Oh yes! I've come to rob your bank,
And I've come to take your dimes and swipe your nickels.
So stand back, step aside you silly pickle!
And let me in!

Narrator: Although frightened by the intruder, in the spirit of Christmas Alice makes an offering.

Alice: I'm not a banker.
I have no bank my robbing friend,
But I have cookies
Three yummy cookies.
And I don't have nickels,
But please take this my robbing friend.
Eat one of these my robbing friend.
They are for Santa,
But you may have one.

Narrator: The Bankrobber is truly touched by Alice's good will, but Alice, although momentarily distracted, is still excited about seeing Santa.

Alice/Bankrobber: Oh, Santa!
I'm a robber!
I can't wait for you to come,
And I came to rob your bank,
I just can't wait for you to come,
Oh yes - I came to rob your bank,
And I've got cookies!
You shared a cookie!
Two yummy cookies!
A yummy cookie!
Just for you for when you come,
Though I'd love to take your dimes,
Only for you for when you come
Perhaps another time
Both: Because it's Christmas!

*Knock, knock, knock*

Alice: Could that be Santa?
Could that be him?
Could it be the one who brings presents for a cucumber like me,
A good cucumber like me?

Narrator: Once again, it is not Santa who has come to Alice's door, but this time a savage Norseman.

Alice: Who are you?

Viking: I'm a Viking!
And I've come to take your land,
Oh yes! I've come to take your land,
And I've come to burn your crops and steal your horses!
And I've come to...uh, step on your chickens...
And soil your quilts!

Narrator: Although frightened by the intruder, in the spirit of Christmas, Alice makes an offering.

Alice: I don't have land.
I don't have crops, my Viking friend,
But I have cookies!
Two yummy cookies!
And I don't have horses,
But please take this my Viking friend.
Eat one of these my Viking friend.
They are for Santa, but you may have one!

Narrator: The Viking is also touched by Alice's good will, but Alice's thoughts are still with Santa.

Alice/Viking: Oh, Santa!
I'm a Viking.
I can't wait for you to come,
And I came to take your land,
I just can't wait for you to come,
Oh yes - I came to take your land,
I've got a cookie!
You shared a cookie,
A yummy cookie!
A yummy cookie!
Just for you for when you come,
Though I'd love to soil your quilts,
Only for you for when you come
I don't think that I wilt

Both: Because it's Christmas!

*Knock, knock, knock*

Alice: Could that be Santa?
Could that be him?
Could it be the one who brings presents for a cucumber like me,
A good cucumber like me?

Narrator: Alice is greeted now by an agent of the Internal Revenue Service.

Alice: Who are you?

Peach: I'm from the IRS!
And I've come to tax your...

*SLAM*

Alice: Oh, Santa!
I can't wait for you to come,
I just can't wait for you to come...
It's finally Santa!
It's finally him!
At last, the one who brings presents for a cucumber like me,
A good cucumber like me!

Santa: I'm Santa!
And I've come to bring you gifts,
Oh yes! I've come to bring you gifts,
And I've come to stuff your stockings
Oh ho-ho-ho!
And I've come to jiggle my belly.
And wiggle my nose!
Hey, wait a minute!
Isn't that my belt?
And what are you doing with my hat?
So you're the ones!

Bankrobber: Wait a minute, I can explain!

Viking: We've changed!

Santa: Nobody messes with Santa!
You know that don't you!?
You've been very naughty!
And I've got a list!

Peach: Did you claim that?

Alice: Merry Christmas!