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Dream On spin off-my style!

Summary:
If you haven't read Charmingal's Dream On, (which you should ;D ) this won't make much sence, so go check out her brilliant readings too, ok? Basically, we've (we meaning me and a few other idiots/clever peoples alike) moved to the not-so-sunny town of Forks, and by the magic of fan-fiction have ended up finding the Vampires and Werewolves! This is my side of the story (Looney's view), hopefully with extra madness, weirder humour, and rib-cracking...although I don't take responsibility for any Doctor bills...


Notes:
you wanted to do this of your own free will you poor, poor person


15. XV ~ ROSALIE?YOU?RE BALD! / ACCIDENTALLY ON PURPOSELY SOAP-TASTIC?

Rating 5/5   Word Count 1686   Review this Chapter

“So Rose, like that breeze over your head?” I smirk at Emmett’s comment again. Edward had moved from my side to the other side of keep an eye on Rosalie. Who closely resembled a cross naked-headed mole. Well okay; Edward had moved to restrain her from attacking me. She was one seriously cross, naked-headed mole…with extra vampire strength…

"Okay then Helen." This couldn't be good. She'd used my real name. Soon she’d reveal my secret identity about who put up those drawings on the internet.

I breathed in. I was the dare master. I had talent, guts, and most of all, I could always run.

"You see the vampire to your right?" Lexhen asked. I turned my head.

"Rosalie?"

"No idiot, the male vampire."

"Like I said, Rosalie."

I ducked in time for a pale hand to swoop over my head. I'd been taught that by Dodger.

"Joking, joking. Besides, you only have to be bald...for another 5 hours and 3 minutes." Yes that had been a good dare; bald until midnight. Thankfully Tegan had helped no end to cut it off…Rose was very anti-chainsaw.

No, that was an understatement; she was furious.

"So, Lexhen we were going to punish that thing?" asked Rosalie, suddenly taking a liking to my, now ex-best-friends. ‘Ex’ because I was worried about what they were going to do.

"Well, Edward must be feeling very lonely." Dodger grinned. Maybe making her dance around in underwear hadn't been the best of my wonderful creative ideas.

"Yes, seeing as he only had to eat an apple" commented Emmett, sulking next to Lexhen.

"And so..." I prompted.

They all grinned at each other evilly.

"Seeing as he's all alone..." hinted Tegan still tied to the chair from her last dare and covered in the purple paper. (This was, incidentally, going to the other neighbour’s house wrapped as a present tied to a chair.)

"Erm, guys. Do I get a say in this?" asked Edward from on the sofa.

"No!" they all shouted. It seemed they were past being reasonable. They wanted revenge alright.

"It doesn't even involve you." said Lexhen. Now how did that work?

"But-" he started but Emmett glared at him. He carried on regardless. "I don't think Helen will want to do that. Well, I hope she won’t-not that I don’t love her just it’s not appropriate or-"

"By the way you talked about her when you came back to change with Emmett, you did want this Edward." commented Tegan, snapping his mouth closed.

There went my only defence.

“And don’t be such a virgin” Emmett winked over at him. I swear Edward would have blushed if he could have. Okay-this was taking too long.

"Bring it!" I called at them, crooking my finger at them.

"You know how to..."

"SPIT IT OUT!" I growled, getting impatient.

"Wellyouknowhowtolapdance" Lexhen blurted. All of them smirked at me. My face was taken aback for a second.

Edward groaned quietly, curled up in a ball on the sofa at the same time I said. "Now that-is nothing."

…Several embarrassing moments, the ‘sexy-back’ song, and a bright red face later, I was out in the kitchen. Though thoroughly… mortified, I decided to call it in for a night. No one else felt like they…had to top my dare, and to be honest, I was just wishing for the bed in my room for comfort. But bath first. No-my bath’s always took too long; shower it was then.

I clambered up the stairs, barely awake in time to dodge Lexhen as she started her marathon of Mario Kart with Emmett. No wait, she ran back down the stairs clutching her cherry-over-night bag. I take it that she was going over to the Cullen’s house.

And Dodge was going to some sort of story-time at the beach of dogs…

No- I had to keep my head straight.

But its sooo very hard not to think of him…

Stupid brain. It was being too smarticle for even me to come back at.

Finally I managed to get to the shower room. I un-dressed and set on the spray of the shower. Lovely, freezing cold. I shivered and set it on boiling. That was better. No wait too hot!

This is why I had baths instead.

Sighing I grabbed the soap and lathered my hands. At the same time, I knocked over the shampoo. I was becoming as uncoordinated as Bella was. I bent to pick it up, just as the soap fell down from its holder. The water splashed in my eyes as it hit the floor. Instantly I reached up and whipped my eyes.

Then the burning began

Ow, ow, ow! Stupid soap! Forgot that was on my hands. I cursed with out realising what I was doing and straightened.

There was a tentative knock from the door, but I hardly registered it. I guess they must’ve said something, but I could barely hear over the noise of the shower.

“Sure; just come in. Ow…damn this burns.” My mind was full of buzzing and cursing. Not good. Where was Edward?

I turned back around from my tear-stained face blinking furiously. Someone was standing by the door.

“Help?” I squeaked.

“Come here.” Okay-that was Edward. He came closer to me, stepping into the shower and peering down at me.

“I think I have soap in it.” I muttered, smirking slightly-I was that out of it. Please let him get rid of it…

“Here.” He pulled back my soaking hair from my face and washed the water gently over my stinging eyes. I blinked a couple of times-Much better. I could see…

Wow I could see a whole lot. And I was in a shower with…

My mind was mush. Absolute mush.

But even as I reached up on my tip-toes to kiss him, I knew that it didn’t matter.

I’d found what really mattered.

***

I was content. They were the first words registered in my head as I awoke. Very content. Couldn’t get any better than this. I settled closer to the cold thing I was laying on. Strange, couldn’t remember my bed having a cold shape on it before. I trailed my hand down a familiar shape, which I felt I knew from somewhere, perhaps it was a dream?

I continued my half-awake inspection, my hand going lower and lower down the smooth plains of the cold, and I noticed, very rock like ‘thing’. It was amazing. I sniffed happily, breathing a heavenly scent. Wow- the rock smelt good too. My hand lazily kept going until it met-

My eyes flew open at the same time I scrabbled away from the bed, hurrying to put distance between me and-

I fell off the bed.

“Helen, are you okay?” A worried voice spoke to me, as a head came into my line of vision. I’d pulled the duvet off the bed in the process of jumping backwards off it in shock.

My response was to moan slightly and rub my back. I swear I just stabbed myself on a pencil or something.

A chuckle came from somewhere above, as I clambered to retain my dignity, or what little I had left of it. I pulled myself up and settled back on the edge of the bed, wrapped firmly in the quilt. Silly vampires.

“Helen.” His voice wrapped around me, at the same time his arms embraced me in a cocoon.

“Best. Night. Ever.” I told him quickly, sighing and relaxing back against him.

“Glad you enjoyed it as much as I did then.”

“Good…you’re not going to start on about ‘how you’re a monster’ and ‘look at those bruises on you’ or anything extremely Edward-like are you?” I asked hastily.

“I hurt you?” He asked quickly back. Great. A mood killing Edward coming up.

“No. Not at all. Although.” I peeked at my pillows. “No, no damage for the furniture either!”

“Well…you’re shower door may need replacing…”

I walked gingerly up and staggered to my own door, peeking out onto the landing. Oh yes…the shower room door seemed, if a little, dented. Even the fact that Tolley was going to kill me put a smile on my face.

“Tolley killing you, makes you happy?”

“It shows proof that it did happen!” I squealed and ran to the door hugging it tightly “I love you door”

“It’s an inanimate object love…”

“I still love it. I may even make amends to the soap, if it means I get another night like that!”

“Helen. I think it might have only been a one night thing. I mean…you’re blood’s smelling so sweet this morning; I can’t see where I kept the control from. I’m glad to see that I refrained from doing so, obviously; I must have more control that I thought. But, well, I’m from an time when that…us, doing that would have been extremely…especially before marriage and-”

I turned around and marched straight back up to him, standing on tip-toes to try and have my eyes at a more level look to his. “Edward Anthony Mason Cullen! You are not going to stop me from doing that again with you, you understand!”

There was an awkward pause, where the only sounds were of the clicking of Lexhen on her game station in the attic-guess she was back.

“I guess so?”

“You had better!” I stormed back into the room, looking for something other than a duvet to wear. Stupid vampire thinking they knew everything. Pah.

I spotted a shirt on the floor, and on closer inspection I realised it was Edward’s. I shrugged it on anyway and continued on scouting out some trousers and underwear.

“Helen?”

“Yes Edward?” I said, trying not to fall over as I was trying to put on a sock, hopping about the room.

“That was the best night of my existence too.”

I stopped from madly skipping around the room to put on the sock to look at him.

“Good. Now Emmett can’t take the mick out of you for never getting laid.” I grinned and managed to stand up straight again.

“I love you.”

“As I love you.”

This was going to be a fun week.

***