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Dream On spin off-my style!

Summary:
If you haven't read Charmingal's Dream On, (which you should ;D ) this won't make much sence, so go check out her brilliant readings too, ok? Basically, we've (we meaning me and a few other idiots/clever peoples alike) moved to the not-so-sunny town of Forks, and by the magic of fan-fiction have ended up finding the Vampires and Werewolves! This is my side of the story (Looney's view), hopefully with extra madness, weirder humour, and rib-cracking...although I don't take responsibility for any Doctor bills...


Notes:
you wanted to do this of your own free will you poor, poor person


5. V ~ FOOD FIRST, AND EVERYTHING FOLLOWS AFTER

Rating 5/5   Word Count 2718   Review this Chapter

[Last couple of lines from before]

“Sorry about that.” I told him, a complete lie on my half. But what did he think?

“I didn’t mind” he shrugged, a grin etched on his face. How had he-

“I’ll tell you later.” He promised. Ok. Slightly weirding me out now. He hung his arm back around me, like it was the most natural thing to do. His cool touch was comforting. “So apart from getting revenge on Tolley, and ulterior motion to why you kissed me?”

“It’s a kissing game?” I tried. He raised an eyebrow. Damn it. He wasn’t buying.

“Oh…well…there’s kind of…these books and well…um” I mumbled unsure on how to continue on explaining that I thought he was a fictional vampire. Was there a right way to say that?

“The twilight saga?” he asked.

Crap… he knew.

“And no-Bella Swan isn’t here. You’re clean.”

In my head I sighed, though it took me a moment to realise why. Finally a blush appeared on my face.

“Tolley!” I suddenly realised, like my sixth sense (Tolley’s was in rock, paper, scissors) I ran from Edward’s arms and sprinted around the corner. Tolley was on the floor, and excited hyper-active Alice and worried Jasper kneeling next to her.

I took one glance at her red face, and in under a second something clicked.

“OK-who was hitting on her?” I glared meaningfully at Jasper.

“I only said I like Brunettes!” he said defensively, raising his hands. I think that’s what he had been repeating to convince Alice.

“Damn it.!” I cursed. “Now we have a collection for the hospital!” I sighed and bent down. I leave them alone for a few seconds…

“She’ll be out for at least an hour let.” Grinned Alice, skipping happily.

“Ok then.” I started to scoop her up from the floor and into my arms.

“And what are you doing now?” Asked Edward.

“Taking her home.”

“Looking like you’re carrying a dead body while you’re at it? Let me take her.” Jasper quickly slide his arms to take Tolley swiftly from my hands, lifting her much more easily than I had. Which I was only slightly jealous about. He wasn’t even trying.

“Oh, and you won’t look like you holding a corpse?”

“Nope. See you at your house.” With that, he ran. I don’t mean ran as in a quick jog, or an unsteady lope. He ran faster than anyone, nearly becoming a simple blur, and at the car before I could take more than a steadying breath.

“That idiot” said Alice quickly, quickly flashing her, also topaz eyes on me, looking like she was expecting me to fall to the ground too. I was made of harder stuff than that.

I stared at Jasper while he got into the canary yellow 911 turbo, parked right next to ours now that I noticed, and sped off, raging over the speed limits.

“Helen, its ok…” Alice was sympathetically patting my back.

“Oh…my…I KNEW IT!!!!” this was so obviously not the answer she was looking for.

“Pardon?”

“HAHA! $20’s” I stabbed a finger at the last place I had seen the car, and at Tolley, who was unfortunately still unconscious. “I want to go that fast.” I then muttered under my breath.

“You do?” asked Alice and Edward, dubiously over hearing, with there impossibly overly sensitive ears.

I nodded. “Wait. Lexhen and Dodger! They don’t know yet. Oh crap, and wait until Tolley is conscious again. She will kill Jasper. We were meant to be going to Texas, and I don’t think she’ll like holding it off again. Damn it, Jasper’s in trouble!” I started to run to the hospital entrance. Upon reaching it, I skidded inside and quickly flung open the door to Lexhen’s room. One step in and I pivoted on my heel. Emmett had his hand on her head. No doubt his cooling hands would be doing much more than that later…I’d better warn him not to. . .

The doors were about to close when a paper ball was thrown at the back of my head. I was betting my next $20’s it was Lexhen.

Damn her throwing skills!

I picked up the note, and unscrewing it from the ball it had been made into, I read…

Looney & Tolley

G one shopping- Someone emptied the refrigerator while I was out, Be back by 9 latest.

Early start tomorrow- so won’t be seeing you until later that day, because I know how you guys love to sleep.

From Dodger.

P.S. Looney, don’t go to mad with Edward already! Let Lex and Tolley not die from gagging.

“She loves me for who I am alright.” I muttered as I folded up the note, neater than Lexhen had, and stuffed it into my back pocket. Something was slightly registering in my brain. Lexhen was obviously going to get a lift home, Dodger was away in the food isle, and Tolley was down for the count so…

“I GET TO DRIVE!” I yelped to no one in particular, but managing to startle a couple just walking past us. I was already sprinting down the last corridor. I hardly had time to say anything else, spare a hasty goodbye to Dr Cullen.

Sprinting across the carpark, I grabbed my spare keys from my back pocket, opened the door to her huge car, and hugged the steering wheel.

“So, why can’t you drive again?” asked Edward while I jumped up and down, for absolutely no reason. He was casually getting into the car with me. I revved the engine experimentally, and when he did nothing more than calmly put on his seatbelt, I reversed out of the hospital carpark, and out onto the roads.

“I used to have distractions.” I commented. I thought Tolley would fill him in if he asked about what distracted me.

As we carried on driving, he didn’t seem to care that I sped up miles above the limit when we were in the countryside like roads. (I slowed for the odd towns and villages, so no children pancakes ok?) I liked going fast. But I’m sure Tolley would embarrass me before she let me even touch her precious vehicles again.

With that in mind, I carefully parked the car in our drive way once we arrived, and killed the engine. We sat still for a few moments.

“Talking of distractions” he started “it seems that your friend just woke up. No wait…sorry-Jasper managed to make her go again.” He frowned at me puzzled.

I smiled at him. He looked so cute.

I took it as my cue to exit the car, and so bounded to the front door, before walking up the stairs, Edward still following me.

“And I also wanted to talk about…” he trailed off. I puased in the hallway, outside her room.

“If were having that talk, at least let it be out of human ranges of hearing.” The thought of Tolley waking up to hear me talking about kissing was unbelievable.

I turned on my last step to open my door to my room, opposite to Tolley’s on the third floor. Dodger got downstairs with the study, and bottom was kitchen and living room etc. A bathroom on each floor too, although Tolley got one in her room. If you’re wondering about Lexhen, we shoved her up in the huge attic room.

I clicked open the lock to my room and let him inside. For once, I had cleaned it up, having had Tolley breathing down my neck about it. It was average for me, still strewn with paper from failed attempts of drawings or plans of world domination. Plus my laptop was somewhere on my desk…

I offered the only chair available for him to take, my comfortable woven wooden oval seat, with furry sheets and pillows over it. I think I had slept in it yesterday. I, instead of the chair, flung myself down on my bed.

“Shoot.” I hit at him, covering my eyes with my arms over my head.

“Earlier.” My heart sped up. Damn it. Why react now instead of when I needed adrenalin? Like when I was running for that one guy ages ago…

“I’m sorry-why were you running from that person?” he asked suddenly.

“Oh. Um. No reason” I said innocently. Sadly, along with the control over my heart, the power to act had been lost. I could almost hear him raise an eyebrow at me again.

“It’s so strange. All of you have such different minds.” He commented. Ok- if none of it earlier wasn’t proof enough; that had to be him showing he was a mind-reading vampire.

“Whatever, vampy.” I said to him, now looking at the ceiling from my double bed. (I had managed to get Tolley to buy it. It took some bribing.)

“Really, see. It happened again. You change direction so easily. One moment it’s from about a few minutes ago, and then it’s all over the place. It’s so…different.”

“Glad to know you think I’m special already.” I told him. “If I wanted to think deeply about something, then I will. But judging as I am continuously in the presence of a model, please excuse the thoughts stopping me from thinking things you don’t want to know. Give me a test in history if you want me to think.” I sighed. It was better I just old him, or he’d just hear it in my head.

“Well…” he seemed to hold something in his voice.

“Sorry. Carry on.” I waved a hand at him. I hoped he took it as a hint that I was just a bit tetchy because I had a sudden craving for Tolley’s chocolate brownies. And a nice two player game of Final Fantasy with Lexhen on the PSP.

“About, that err…” he was awkward again! “Yes I am awkward.” He then reprimanded me. I liked this talking in my head thing. It was pretty fun.

“Ok then. I’ll help. About that kiss? Yes?” I lifted my head. He was staring at me curious. “What I’ve gone out with guys before. I know most inside and out. EW. That came out wrong.” I laughed. He managed a chuckle. “And what else” I asked him. I wanted him to say that first. I quickly covered my thoughts from him, trying to recite the Courtney Gears song of Ratchet and Clank backwards. I gave up after a while, and simply sung it forwards.

“Yes about that kiss. I was asking if it was something more than annoying Robyn?” I was looking straight at me. I looked away from his eyes. He had this totally smouldering look about them, distracting. I concentrated on the ceiling again.

“Maybe.” I muttered, a heat creeping on my face. “I mean no.”

“Oh really?” he asked, and I could hear the laughter held in his voice.

“Yep, yep.” Although I didn’t hear him, he suddenly wrapped a hand around my waist. He was lying right next to me and his hypnotising, cooling breathe was fanning across my neck.

“So no matter what I do, it was just a one off thing.” I shrugged hands behind my head. I was trying not to hyperventilate, although the fact he was showing he was interested was doing nothing to help me.

“That’s a shame.” He rolled onto his back.

“Ok then. If I said yes would you believe me?” he turned back over.

“Of course.” He whispered before kissing me with those smooth perfect lips of his, which I had been staring at instead of his eyes.

Several lungs full of air later, I slowed my heart down. I did not mind that at all. Not at all.

I sighed heavily, and sat upright. It must’ve been about six by now.

“What?” he asked me, also breathless.

“Oh stop it. You don’t need to breathe. But I need to eat. And no doubt have a meal waiting for Tolley, and Lexhen and Dodger.” I stood up, smoothing out my creased shirt.

“Here.” He helped me smooth out the sleeves of my shirt, trailing his hands down to mine.

“Damn it. I need to eat, but you doing that is just annoying.” I turned and kissed him quickly again, pulling away after a too shorter time. He must’ve thought so too, as he looked down at me, staring me in the eyes. “No.” I said shortly and walked from the room. “My rule is food first, everything else after.”

I had gone down one flight of stairs before I heard the front door open and close quietly.

Almost like they didn’t want to let me know about the fact they were back. I crept down the stairs, making any noises seeing as Edward was silent anyway. I got down to the last step, and I could hear her in the kitchen.

“Gotcha’!” I yelled, pointing a finger at Lexhen, who jumped out of her thick, fuzzy, warm socks. Declining her temperature rapidly. She couldn’t talk for a moment; a chocolate bar was keeping her mouth full. She swallowed.

“Hey! Why’d you do that?” I noticed that her hair was perhaps a little messier than before.

“So, you and Emmett huh?” I asked her. Edward laughed.

“It’s like you have mind reading better than me. I’m guessing Emmett remembered to tell you how to avoid my reading yours.” He asked Lexhen

“So what if he did or didn’t. Loon, can’t you keep an eye on what you say. And judging by your appearance, you got further than innocent talking.”

“I’m one to boast about it.” I told her smiling. “Tell you how bad he was later.”

“Well, if I wasn’t good enough on your standards. I’ll be off.”

“Err. No you won’t.” I grabbed his hand. “I don’t like the idea of Jasper and Tolley and Alice all together…” at that moment, alice ran down the stairs, carrying a green shirt, I could have sworn Tolley wore this morning. In fact, wasn’t that one of mine that she had borrowed…?

“Lighter-now.” She instructed. She grabbed Tolley’s one, even though she didn’t smoke, she just liked fire, and started to burn the shirt at the edges. “This went horrible with her skin colour. It wouldn’t have mattered on you two.” She glanced at us, before watching the flames go up again.

“Alice!” called jasper, appearing, like his sister, from a blur. “I don’t think we should be burning other people’s clothes.”

“To late.” The shreds of the material fell to the floor, where Lexhen, satisfied, dunked her glass of water on them. I blinked a couple of times. Thank god that wasn’t my favourite shirt, or I think Tolley would have to see me speeding around in her land rover.

“Err, Alice.” Warned Edward.

“What? Oh right.” She slapped Jasper along his face. “I saw you peeping around the door. Thank god that girl had her pyjamas on. Dirty little…” a string of profanities left her mouth.

“Wait. Jasper. What about Alice’s feelings?” I asked. I was shocked. If he was infatuated with Tolley like I thought he was, surely he would be breaking Alice’s heart already.

“What?” Jasper looked surprised, but I could hear both Edward and Lexhen laughing behind me.

Alice looked at the floor, like she was sobbing uncontrollably. I reached over and hugged her tightly.

“How could you do this Jasper!” I almost shrieked at him. Alice was shuddering, probably from tears, before she burst into laughter. I let go hastily. Was she ill?

“Oh god, you’ve got the wrong picture.” Laughed Alice, obviously knowing what was the joke. How could she be taking this so smoothly?

“What?” I was the only one not in on the joke now. Jasper seemed out of it too.

“Honey,” said Alice. “We’re all siblings.”

Oh.