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Always Something There To Remind Me

Summary:
There is always something there to remind Jake of what he has lost. Bella. One shot. Not a songfic.


Notes:
I know this song is kind of boppy, but Always Something There To Remind Me really fits well with Jacob. You've just got to imagine that it's a sad song.


1. Chapter 1

Rating 4.5/5   Word Count 572   Review this Chapter

Well, how can I forget you, girl?
When there is always something there to remind me

*

I walk along the empty streets of La Push, listening to my heavy footsteps on the dusty road. The sun is shining, the birds are singing, the sky is clear; but my sky is full of threatening clouds and lightening. She’s gone.

Bella.

She chose him over me. He left her for dead, and yet she chose him. He’s going to take away her life, and yet she chose him. He’s going to take her away from all she knows, all her family and friends, and yet she chose him.

She could have chosen me,

I was her sun when he left her; without me, she would not have survived. She would not have to die to be with me. She could have stayed here, with me, in La Push, with a whole pack of werewolves to protect her.

But no.

She chose him.

*

Embry and Quil notice how depressed I am. They see how I stare into space. How I don’t take part in conversations. How I don’t enjoy anything any more. “Come with us to the movies,” they say. I agree, but only to get them off my back.

We drive into Port Angeles in Sam’s car. The pack is rowdy, and the vehicle is full of noise the whole way. White noise. I hear none of it. I block out the sound, drowning my thoughts at the same time.

As we pull up to the theatres, my heart freezes. I can’t go in there. No. I won’t. Too many memories. Bella laughing. Mike vomiting. The pain increases. No, no. I shut down. I can’t feel anything. I’m numb.

“What’s the matter with Jacob?”

“Jacob? Jake!”

“Stop shaking him, Paul, you idiot! It’s not going to work!”

“Jacob, mate? Can you hear me?”

I come out of my reverie to answer. “No.”

“No, what?”

“I’m not going in.”

They appear to take my words seriously.

“Okay, Jake. Let’s go home.”

“But I wanted to-“

“Shut up, Paul.”

*

I wake up to Billy knocking on my bedroom door. The sound echoes loudly in my head. It hurts, and I cover myself with the blankets.

“Get up, sleepyhead.”

“Ughn,” I groan in response.

“Come on. I need you to drive up to the store for me. I need milk.”

I sigh and roll over. “Gimme 10 minutes.”

I hear the wheels of the wheelchair squeak slowly back up the hall.

*

I get dressed slowly, pulling on my rattiest outfit. I grab the keys from the kitchen bench and wander to the garage. Billy is waiting on the porch for me to bring the car around.

I open the door, and my heart freezes. Memories are bombarding me like hailstones hit the ground. Laughing Bella. Laughing me. A Volkswagen Rabbit. An old red truck. I can’t cope. I turn and run back into the house, all thoughts of milk and Billy forgotten, whispering, “no, no, no,” the whole way.

*

Small things, tiny things, set me off. Soda. Motorbikes. Brown haired girls. The word vampire. The names Bella, Edward, Cullen. Chief Swan. Volkswagens. Cars in general. Blood. All of these things remind me of her. Of what I have lost. And I’ll never be free. She’ll always be a part of me. There is always something there to remind me.