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How About a Shave?

Okay, This is a crossover story. If you don't know who Sweeney Todd is, You may not get it. Everyone's Human. They live on Fleet street. Life's going good. Bella's expecting and They are wealthy. If That Matters. Well, I wouldn't trust that new barber. Thanks to Eternity's_Charm For the Amazing Banner!


2. Chapter 2

Rating 5/5   Word Count 560   Review this Chapter


I couldn't believe it. I...We were having a baby. I put my face in my hands as we rod into the market. Edward was ecstatic. I knew I would only have to put on a charade for a few months and then I could blame the hormones. I was "Happy" If thats what you could call it. As we approached I noticed Mrs.Lovett with a very Discreet looking man. Almost a morose man. A shadow in the day. Edward's eyes shifted from Mrs.Lovett to The strange man as I strod over to speak to Mrs.Lovett. She's been torn apart since the death of her dear Albert. "Maggie, How are you doing?" I asked.

"Oh Well, The Buisiness is suffering if that's what your asking. Oh! I must be such a clod for not introducing you too." She spoke. Suddenly the dark figure appeare next to Maggie in two quick strides.

"Sweeney Todd, Mam. And You Might Be?" He asked as he took my hand and kissed it. I blushed.

"Isabella. Isabella Cullen. Nice to meet You Mr. Todd." I said politely. Edward was at my side in a flash. Oh Boy.

"Hell Sir. I am Isabella's Husband. Edward." He spoke in rude but polite manner. I sighed.

"Ah. I am Mr. Todd. Of Fleet Street." He said. Edward, Please don't do what I think You are going to do.

"Maggie" I said before Edward could even open his mouth. "Did I tell you the good news?"


"We are having a.." I was inturupted by the sound of a young boy. Darn It.

Ladies and Gentlemen!
May I have your attention please?

We drifted over to the rest of the crowd. Where the Boy was singing. Ah. Pirelli. That Italian Child abuser.

Do you wake every morning in shame and despair
To discover your pillow is covered with hair
Wot ought not to be there?
Well, ladies and gentlemen,
From now on you can waken with ease.
You need never again have a worry or care,
I will show you a miracle marvelous rare,
Gentlemen, you are about to see something wot rose
From the dead!
On the top of my head.

My God.

Twas Pirelli's Miracle Elixir
That's what did the trick, sir,
True, sir, true.
Was it quick, sir? Did it in a tick, sir!
Just like an elixir ought to do!

How about a bottle, mister?
Only costs a penny, guaranteed!

Does Pirelli's stimulate the growth, sir?
You can have my oath, sir, 'tis unique.
Rub a minute - stimulatin', in'it?
Soon you'll have to thin it once a week!

Suddenly, Mr. Todd Spoke Up.

Pardon me, ma'am, what's that awful stench?

Maggie was in on it too?

Are we standing near an open trench?

Sweeney: Are we standing near an open trench?
Mrs. Lovett: Pardon me, sir, what's that awful stench?

Buy Pirelli's Miracle elixir
Anything wot's slick, sir,
Soon sprouts curls.
Try Pirelli's; when they see how thick, sir,
You can have your pick, sir, of the girls!

Toby: Wanna buy a bottle, missus?
Sweeney: What is this?
Mrs. Lovett: What is this?
Sweeney: Smells like piss...
Mrs. Lovett: Smells like "EW!"

Sweeney: Looks like piss...
(Mrs. Lovett: Wouldn't touch it if I were you, dear!)

Sweeney: This is piss, piss with ink.

Let Pirelli's activate your roots, sir--
Keep it off your boots, sir! Eats right through!
YES, get Pirelli's, use a bottle of it; ladies seem to love it--
Mrs. Lovett:
--Flies do to!

I couldn't help but laugh. But That was when He came out.