Coming Back to You
Edward isn't able to stay away. He comes back after 6 1/2 months, before Bella jumped. But, when he comes into Bella's room in the night, someone else is already there! CHAPTER EIGHT - LET'S GET READY TO RUMBLE!!!!!!CHAPTER NINE - EPILOGUE
I was always a little bugged that Bella had to go clear to Italy to get Edward to come back to her. I really wanted him to come in her window one night after she laid there crying herself to sleep. Anyway, this is sort of what I thought could happen.
5. FOR RIGHT OR WRONG
Rating 5/5 Word Count 4003 Review this Chapter
THE FIRST PART IS BELLA'S POV
About 9:30 in the morning I felt Rosalie shaking me.
"Bella, Edward just called. He will be here in about 10 minutes. He went to change his clothes first."
Probably wants to get out of Forks as fast as he can after seeing me, I thought. At any rate, I jumped out of bed and was heading for the bathroom when I remembered Charlie.
"What about Charlie?" I asked
"He left for fishing about 5:30," she said.
It must be Saturday, I thought. I really had lost track of the days.
I went into the bathroom and did what I could in 10 minutes to prepare for Edward. I looked at the finished product in the mirror. I was a shadow of my former self. If I thought I was too plain for Edward before, I was certainly beyond hope now. Beyond hope, perfect choice of words.
I could hear voices. My velvet voice was back, but not my velvet voice anymore. I finished and stepped out of the bathroom and into my room. There he was. It seemed so right for him to be here.
I could be strong. I would be strong. I had already decided that I was going to make it easy for him to leave. I would let my angel go. I would show him I was fine and that I was happy for the time we had, but we both knew it wouldn't last. I would act casual and friendly. I leaned against my doorway and took a deep breath.
I was so glad he wouldn't be around to see me fall apart. So glad he would never see what his leaving would do to me.
One last time, I was here with my true love, one last time.
FOR RIGHT OR WRONG
I got to Bella's room and Rosalie greeted me.
"She's in the bathroom," she said.
I nervously cleared my throat and asked, "Rosalie, has she said anything about me?"
Rosalie folded her arms and looked straight at me, "We talked about a lot of things Edward, but sorry, your name never came up."
I opened my mouth to speak but Rosalie stopped me. "Look, you were wrong, about everything. Imagine, the great all knowing Edward was wrong about something."
I was glad to see Rosalie hadn't changed in the six months since I'd seen her. I stepped away from her to move my left arm around. I had hurt my left arm quite badly, but it was healing. If I had been mortal, I am sure I would be in surgery somewhere having my arm put back together. The pain was lessening. I looked in Bella's mirror and I was glad to see the cuts that were visible on my face were almost gone.
"Is Emmett home?" Rosalie asked.
"He was still out watching the reservation boys dance around Victoria's ashes when I left," I replied.
"Speaking of the reservation boys, what about that kid that was here before? Bella seemed to know him pretty well." Rosalie had a smirk on her face again.
I could feel my muscles tense at the mention of Black. Venom began to course through my mouth. "I'll kill that animal before I let him near Bella again." I growled.
Rosalie put her hands on her hips and said, "Would that be because he is a werewolf, or because he is a boy interested in Bella?"
I began to answer, but again, Rosalie stopped me. "You are the one that left. Bella is free to see whomever she pleases. You have no right to kill that boy just because he has feelings for Bella. What would Carlisle say?"
My lips pressed in a hard line. I knew everything she was saying was true. Apparently jealousy was a weakness of mine that I wasn't aware of until I met Bella. Would I have reacted the same way if I had come into Bella's room last night and found Newton there? I was ashamed to know the answer would be yes. I didn't want Bella to be with anyone but me.
As if on cue Bella came into the room.
Too high and fast for Bella to hear, Rosalie said, "You do right by her Edward," and then she was out the window.
Bella's scent was already everywhere in the room, but when she walked in, the sweetness of it became much more intense. I closed my eyes and let it wash over me. It was driving me crazy. I wanted to smell behind her ear and on her wrists. I swallowed the venom in my mouth. I was out of practice at calming myself.
I studied her more closely as she was leaning against her door frame. I wasn't prepared for what I saw. She was way too thin. She looked brittle, breakable. Hey eyes were sunken and lifeless. The fire and intensity I loved in those dark eyes was gone. She looked like a feather that would blow away at the slightest breeze.
Did I do this to her?
If I did, then I was far worse than a monster.
I couldn't have done this, for me to be the cause then she would have to love me. . . as much as I loved her. I knew that if I was a mortal, and breakable, that I would look just like her right now.
"Hello Edward," her voice was quiet but sure.
I hated this awkwardness between us. I hated me for being the cause of it.
"Did everything go the way you hoped?" she asked.
"Victoria is dead." I answered softly.
"Is everyone okay?' she wondered.
By everyone, did she mean Black? Right now, she was with me. I would not preoccupy her mind with thoughts of Black's injuries.
"Everyone is fine." I answered.
She stood up straight and said, "Well, I bet you're happy to have that problem taken care of. Now, you can go on with your life and never have to worry about Forks again."
She was not going to get rid of me that easily.
"Bella, I don't plan on leaving Forks." I said quietly.
I saw a look of panic in Bella's eyes. She tried to hide it by looking down and I saw her swallow hard. She was gripping the door handle for support. "Well," she said. "I suppose we'll see each other from time to time. I will . . . enjoy being your friend."
I felt the anxiousness rise in me. I could never be this close to Bella and just be her friend. I couldn't read her at all. Was she saying all this just for my benefit? Was she worried I would see her and Black together? I had to make my move now. This was where the explanation and the serious begging was going to begin. But, she looked so vulnerable that I thought I had better do this slowly. I didn't want to scare her away. Apologies first.
"Bella, I am so sorry for leaving you in such danger. For the first few months I was gone, I spent most of my time tracking Victoria. I thought I was close on her trail, but I lost her somewhere in South America. I never dreamed she would come back here. I am so sorry."
She swung her arms in a carefree way and crossed the room and hopped on her bed. "No big deal, Jake was doing a great job protecting me."
The venom rose again and I could hear a growl rising in my chest. The thought of Black protecting Bella just. . . .I took a deep breath. Getting angry right now would solve nothing.
I answered as calmly as I could. "Then how come three months after Victoria returned to Forks they still had not killed her."
"Because, she said, "I didn't know Jake was a werewolf until a month ago. He was doing everything he could to keep it from me. But, do you remember me telling you about the day at the beach when I flirted with him?"
"Yes," I answered through clenched teeth.
"Well, along with vampires, he also told me about the werewolves. I eventually figured out that he had become one. After I figured that out, he told me about the red-headed vampire that was killing people in the forest. She was trying to get to Forks but the pack kept stopping her. I knew it was Victoria. I explained my history with her, and as soon as Jake realized what Victoria was actually trying to do, which was kill me, the pack changed their tactics. He hasn't left me alone since."
I had to ask this question.
"How long has Black been staying with you in your room at night?"
She stared down at her quilt. "That's none of your business," She said quietly.
I took a step closer and asked, "Have you kissed Jacob Black?"
"That's no longer any of your concern," she whispered.
I ran my hands over my face. This was not going well. I walked around her room for a minute to clear my head. She just sat silently on her bed looking down at her quilt.
I hadn't been able to get her to look into my eyes once since I'd returned. She wouldn't even look at my face. I had lost her. She was mine and she loved me and begged me not to leave and I had rejected her. She not only offered me her love, but her soul, and I had walked away. I had told her I didn't love her.
I just had to know the answer to a horrible question before I went on. I turned around and in my most velvet voice I asked, "Bella, do you love Jacob?"
She took a deep breath. I however, had stopped breathing.
"Edward, I am not sure what these questions have to do with anything. What does it matter? If you came back to check and see how I am, then let me tell you, I am fine. Really. . . fine."
She was still looking down. I knelt down beside her bed in an effort to see her face and possibly get her to look at me. I had to tell her what was in my heart. No matter what, I was not leaving here until she knew how I really felt about her. If she had feelings for Black, then I would fight to win her back. If she decided to stay with him, (deep breath) I would still always love her, and understand it was me that had ruined everything. Somehow, I would have to get over my rage. I could not kill Black out of jealousy.
I had been here all this time and I hadn't touched her once. I ached to hold her.
I very gently took one of her hands in mine. It was not as warm as I remembered. I felt her stiffen. She was like a china doll and I was so afraid I would hurt her. She still would not look at me.
"Bella," I said softly, "I don't want to just be your friend. I came back because I couldn't stay away from you another day. I may be too late, you have every right to find someone else, but if there's a chance for me, I am going to fight for you. I need you Bella, so much. Bella, I love you and I always have."
I wanted her to jump off the bed and into my arms. I wanted her lips on mine so badly I could already taste them. But, she stayed right there on the bed. She didn't move at all. She still wouldn't look me in the face. She just stared down at her quilt.
In a whisper she said, "I am confused."
I took this moment to make my move. I couldn't stay away from her another second. I got up and sat on the bed across from her and took both of her hands in mine and held them to my face.
"What do you mean Bella? Don't you remember everything I have ever told you?"
Bella finally looked up at me. But, what I saw there broke any heart I had. There were tears beginning to come down her cheeks and her eyes were full of so much hurt. She broke her hands out of my grasp and used them to defiantly wipe the tears away.
"I remember standing as close as we are now when you told me you didn't love me anymore. I reached out for you and you held my arms down so I couldn't touch you and thenyouleft.
I flinched at her words. They stung far worse than anything I received from Victoria. She wasn't through.
"I tried to follow you. I also remember the rain as I laid curled in a ball for hours and hours deep in the forest. I could hear people calling my name, but I wouldn't answer. If Sam Uley had not stepped right on me, I'd still be out there rotting."
I didn't want to hear any more of this.
"I remember Charlie threatening to send me away, but I wouldn't go. I would hear your voice in my head and. . ." she started to cry again.
I was about to reach out to her when she looked at me again with anger in her face.
"You tell me to remember. But you're the one who took my memories right? The music you made for me, the gift your parents gave to me, and you even took away the memory of your face." She shook and whispered, "Why did you have to take away the pictures?"
I reached out for her and she pulled away. I felt like something heavy was sitting on my chest. "Bella, please, please, don't pull away from me. Give me a chance to explain, I. . . ."
"Explain what Edward? I get it. It never made sense for you to love me. I now completely understand why you never wanted to change me. I don't want your guilt. I don't want your pity. It lasted longer than it should have. I just want to thank you for making me so happy and for sticking around as long as you did."
Bella stood up by the side of the bed. This was her cue for me to go.
Very softly I said, "You don't want me to leave, Bella."
"Get over yourself." She blurted out.
Very slowly, I rose up beside her and grabbed her by the shoulders and put my forehead to hers.
"Bella, I lied when I said I didn't love you. You were in danger every moment you were around me. I couldn't bear to see you die. I had to care more about your happiness than my happiness. I had to think past my selfishness in keeping you close to me. I had to try. The birthday party, I. . ." I shook my head, "Bella, I don't know how to do this. All I know is that I can't be without you anymore. Not now, not ever."
Being this close to her was intoxicating. I was alive for the first time in so long. My breath was coming out in ragged gasps. I reached to kiss her. The anticipation was driving me mad. Just before my lips reached hers, she pulled away.
I blinked back at the shock.
"Bella, what's wrong? Just talk to me, tell me what you want me to do."
Bella looked into my eyes. It took my breath away. All the moments and feelings I had tried to forget these past months were all coming back to me. She was my link to everything good and warm and sweet. She was what held me to sanity and happiness. I was lost in her eyes, just dreaming of all I wanted with her. I was brought back to reality by her question.
"Edward, how long will you be here?"
That was all she was worried about? I put my hands on each side of her face. I watched her eyes close for a moment, then she was intently staring at me again.
"Bella, my love, I will never leave you again. I am here until you send me away. I am yours. I was dead without you. Everything was meaningless. Nothing could ever make me leave you again."
I went to kiss her, and again she pulled away. I bent over and put my hands on my knees and closed my eyes.
She backed away from me. "What about the next time I get a paper cut or a stray non-vegetarian vampire stops by for a visit? You seemed pretty sure of your decision last time. So sure you stayed away almost 7 months. What will make you go next time? How long will you stay away?"
She was so afraid, so fragile. Her love for me had broken her. I had made her afraid of me, afraid of loving me. I was wrong about everything. Rosalie was right. I had lived over 100 years, through countless wars, and seeing so much change in the world. I had seen generations of people and heard their minds and thought I knew it all. I was sure that for Bella, I was just a first love. She would get over me. She was so young, she could never love me the way I loved her. She had parents that did not even stay together, how could she understand lasting love? I had been wrong. She loved me. Just as much as I truly loved her. I was desperate to take all her pain away. I was thinking of what to say or do when she said words that cut me.
"Please go Edward, I can't survive the next time."
I thought maybe I should go. I would come back later tonight. I would lay beside her and tell her over and over how much I loved her. But what if Jacob came back?
I had turned and taken one step towards the window, when I whirled around and grabbed her face and kissed her.
My fantasies did not do justice to what it felt like to have my lips on hers again. At first, Bella stiffened and didn't respond. I had to make her believe how much I loved her. I drew her even closer to me, then, to my joy, and relief, her wall was broken and she was kissing me back.
Her hands went greedily to my face and hair. I wanted so much to tell her how I felt, but when our lips parted for a moment all I could do was whisper her name.
Without taking my lips off hers, I picked her up and laid her on the bed. I was alive. More alive than I had been in such a long time. I didn't know how I had ever left, or how I had stayed away from her for so long. My lips parted from hers for just a moment and I said, "For right or wrong, I am yours forever."
I kissed her until I knew I had to stop. I pulled away and waited for the muscles in my jaw to stop contracting and the venom that was rising in my mouth to subside. My throat was burning. I waited for the painful yearnings in my stomach for her blood to go away. For right orwrong Bella, for right or wrong. I can't stay away. Was all I kept thinking.
I lay down on her chest and listened to her heartbeat. It was so beautiful. It was my favorite music. It was pounding out a hard beating rhythm that I knew my heart would be playing for her, if I had one.
After a few minutes she tentatively touched my hair. I had made her not trust me. I hated myself for what I had done. I planned to spend every minute of every day showing her that I would never leave and would always love her.
"I love you Bella." I whispered. It was so good to again tell her how I felt.
"Edward," she said softly.
I raised my head up to look at her lovely face. "Yes, Bella?"
"I never kissed Jacob."
I was so happy that my idiotic crooked smile came out on my face. I got right up so I could look into her eyes and whispered, "You have no idea how happy you just made me."
She touched my face and traced under my eyes and over my lips. I closed my eyes and breathed her in.
"I could never love Jacob the way I love you. When you left, you took my heart with you."
I kissed her softly and said, "I don't deserve any loyalty or love for what I have done, but I am so grateful you are here with me." I kissed her again and said, "These lips are mine and I'll never leave them again." I kissed her again and said, "Never."
She swallowed hard and said, "It is going to take some time for me to trust myself."
My brows furrowed, "Trust yourself, what do you mean?"
She swallowed hard. "To trust myself to be enough to hold you. To be what you need so that you will want to stay."
It broke me to hear her talk that way. "Bella, your hold on me is permanent and unbreakable. I was 3,000 miles away curled up in an attic in Brazil and you were all I thought about. You have changed me Bella. Forever."
I kissed her again. This was heaven. I kissed her neck and whispered in her ear, "I plan on using the rest of my days showing you how great the hold is you have on me. Time Bella, we have lots of time."
She smiled at that. I loved to see her smile. I promised myself I would make her smile everyday.
We spent a lot of time in Bella's bed that day. We lay there staring at each other while we listened to the rain hit the window. All I wanted was her by my side. To be close to her again.
In the afternoon, we went to my house and she was so happy to see my family. I had to thank Alice. She knew that as soon as I made the decision to check on Bella, that I was coming back to stay. I tried to disagree with her, and asked her not to tell the family, but she told me that she would just let Carlisle know where I was. What she actually did, was call the whole family and told them it was safe to come back. It was good for us all to be back in this house again. Rosalie walked around with a smug look on her face. This was going to take a while to live down.
Chief Swan was due home soon. Bella wanted to be alone when she broke the news to her dad that I was back. I told her I would be in her room at 10:00 sharp that night. I hated to let her go. I couldn't wait to be back in her room all night. My sanctuary.
I did things to keep myself busy. I kept checking my watch. I even checked once to see if my watch was working because time wasn't moving fast enough.
At 9:00 I went out for a drive. Speed and loud music always made the time go by faster for me.
Finally, at 10:00, I was at her window. I was so glad to be back here. So thankful Bella wanted me back.
I jumped in her room, and immediately, I knew something was wrong. My muscles tensed, and all my senses were on fire. Bella was gone, and the room reeked of werewolf.