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I've broken their heart more times than I can count. I just can't seem to change my ways. I did the one thing that Carlisle said not to, I joined the Volturi. When I came back I never thought it would be so hard. It doesn't help that Isabella Swan can't seem to stay away from me.

This is a story about what would happen if Edward had been unable to stop drinking human blood after that time he went out on his own. Everything would be different. The question is: can he still be Edward.

2. Fight

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Chapter Two

The years passed. I kept returning to Carlisle and Esme only to leave after a short time. Carlisle tried to help me by turning Rosalie into one of us. I rejected her and went back to roaming around alone within a few weeks. I didn’t want someone to love, I wanted someone to kill me.

I thought about going to the Volturi on more than one occasion. Carlisle assured me that they wouldn’t kill me. They would want me to join them. I had a gift they would want to use. He begged me not to go to them. He didn’t want to see me become one of them. They had good intentions, but that didn’t always mean what they did was good.

"Edward, don’t do it. The Volturi do things that they really ought not to do. Please don’t go. We’ll never see you." Carlisle said, walking with me through the forest.

"I’ve got to do something, Carlisle. I can’t stay here any longer. There’s nothing here. I’ve been through the whole country. Every state. I’ve met others who talk about the Volturi. I saw the Volturi."

He stopped walking. "What?"

"I saw the down south. They were cleaning up what some newborns had done. I could do good through them, Carlisle. They keep the peace."

"Or you could come home! If you would just resist the urge that you feel you could get over the thirst you feel for human blood, Edward! Animals provide everything we need to live! Come back. Give it another try!"

"You’re weaker. I don’t want to do it. It’s not enough. I need human blood!" My voice rose several times, causing birds to take flight. "I don’t want to live your lifestyle, Carlisle! I can’t be like you and the others! I never will be!"

"How are we weaker, Edward! We resist the urges! Rosalie has yet to drink the blood of a human! Yet, you who are older than her, won’t even try and let go of this. Why are you doing this to yourself! You shouldn’t. You could be happy with us." Carlisle said, pointing a finger at me. His loving side had been replaced by a very angry Carlisle I had never seen.

"I don’t want to do it! Go home and be happy with your family, Carlisle. Tell Alice I say hello for me." I started walking away, my back turned on him.

He ran at me, pushing me into a tree. "Edward Cullen, you are coming home with me wether you like it or not." He growled, pinning me to the tree.

I turned around and pushed him. I was stronger by a lot. Carlisle had never drank human blood. He didn’t have the strength that I had He couldn’t defeat me because I was stronger than him in so many ways. I knew everything he was going to do before he did it.

He went flying backwards, hitting a tree. He fell to the ground, where he staggered to his feet. I growled, showing my teeth. He did the same thing, before he got himself under control. I continued to growl, but let my lip fall back down over my teeth.

"Edward." He was pleading, holding his hand out. "Just come home. We miss you." His light brown eyes, were pleading with me. He wanted me to go home with him.

"No thank you." I started running. He would never catch me. I was faster.

"There is still a place for you with us. There always will be. We love you, Edward. You’re my son." That was the last thing I heard from Carlisle before I was so far away that I could no longer hear his thoughts.

No matter what Carlisle said, I was going to go to the Volturi. They could help me. He just hadn’t given them a chance. I would. I would prove to him that they weren’t all bad. He just couldn’t see that they did good things.

I would go to Italy without looking back. They wouldn’t follow me there. I wouldn’t see them any longer, but I hardly saw them as it was. I hadn’t seen the rest of the family in seven or eight years. Carlisle was the only one who came and found me. Rosalie didn’t even care about me, that was clear from the last time I had seen them.

She had stood there, leaning against the wall, looking down on me. To her I was a piece of trash on the side of the road. I didn’t mean anything to her, and she didn’t mean anything to me. It was a mutual hate of each other.

Alice and Esme still cared about me. I hardly knew Alice, but she begged me to stay just a while longer. Esme treated me like her son. She wanted me to stay as well. She didn’t like seeing my so unhappy, she wanted to see me smile again. I was the first of her children, there was a special place for me that none of the others could have. To Alice I was a brother that she wanted to be around.

Emmett and Jasper both had mixed emotions about me. Emmett didn’t know much about me. Jasper knew enough. He knew that I was getting to do what he didn’t. He also had trouble sticking to Carlisle lifestyle, but he did it for Alice. He knew how I felt, not only because he felt it but because he had felt that way for years.

I wasn’t going back to that. Carlisle and Esme were wrong. There wasn’t a place for me in the Cullen family. I was the outcast who couldn’t follow the rules. The bad child. That was all I would ever be in their eyes, even if they wouldn’t admit it.

On January 24, 1956 I got onto a plane and headed for Italy. I was going to the Volturi, they couldn’t stop me. They wouldn’t stop me.