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At the Beginning with You

Summary:
This is my take on Breaking Dawn, or at least what I hope will happen in the final book. It is told from Bella’s POV and in later chapters it may switch as needed to allow for that character to be completely understood.


Notes:


4. Jacob's Return

Rating 5/5   Word Count 1357   Review this Chapter

I knew that everyone’s eyes were following me as I headed into the darkness. I went past the dance floor, behind the stage and continued to follow. I followed him further into the darkness. Finally, I rushed passed him to head him off, I was worried about the things that might be lurking in the dense forest.

“What are you doing here?” I asked as my eyes began to adjust to the darkness that surrounded us.

“I just wanted to come and tell you that…”

“What?”

“That I still love you..”

I had to cut him off. “Jacob now is definitely not the time for this…” He gave me a look of frustration and I sighed.

“If you would let me finish, I will explain everything. I wanted you to know that I still love you, but now I understand that no matter what I say or do, you will always be beyond my reach.” His eyes glistened with wetness.

These were not the words that I expected him to speak. I was flabbergasted, I was prepared to tell him goodbye forever, and now it seemed as if that’s what he was planning to do.

“Jake. I’ve made my decision and I’m glad that you respect that. After tonight, I know that, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that I have made the best decision for me, and for Edward.”

“I know that Bella. I saw the look tonight.” He responded as he walked toward me.

Look?” I asked as I stepped back.

“Yes, the look of true and unconditional love, a love that no one can destroy. The way you looked at him earlier tonight, and damn it all, the way he looked back at you , I knew that…that was the right decision in the end.” He sighed. “You have never looked at me, quite the same way, as you do him. Everyone sees it… and now I do too.”

I was surprised by his response, I could not live with out Edward, my love, my life and it was obvious to everyone around me. Then it hit me, I was agitated instantly.

“Earlier tonight?” I asked instantly angry.

“Hmm?”

“You said earlier tonight? When did you arrive here?” I asked, growing more and more irritated by the minute.

“I made it to the ceremony, I was prepared to walk up and take you away or even to stop the ceremony when Carlisle asked if anyone objected…”

I glared at him, ready to open my mouth and retort, he held up one finger to stop me and continued to speak.

“I stood to the back of the ceremony site, behind the trees, ready to make my move. I struggled, trying to make myself come forward and take you away. But then something stopped me.” He said as he looked into my eyes and took another step towards me. “Bella, the look you had in your eyes…that’s what stopped me. I could see the smile on your face, the glimmer in your eyes and I knew that if I did what I was planning, that all it would do is hurt you more. I can’t hurt you anymore. I love you too much to hurt you in that way.”

I stood there silent for a moment, still in a dazed state, trying to understand the magnitude of what he had just told me. It actually made me think of Sam, Emily and Leah, was this how Leah felt after Sam had imprinted on Emily? Was she truly willing to make sacrifices for the one person that she truly loved, to keep him happy? As usual my eyes welled up with tears, and before I could wipe them away, Jacob stepped forward and wrapped his arms around me.

“I’m sorry.” He said as his grip tightened.

Still in shock, I said the first thing that popped into my head. “You should be!”

Jacob released me and stepped back, obviously staggered by my response. I could feel my face begin to grow hot. I had been worried and upset for so long, and when the flood gates opened, there was nothing I could do about it.

“You…had… me… so… worried!” I ranted as I poked my finger into his chest. “How could you do this to me? To Billy?”

“What?” He answered back.

“I was so worried about you! You could have been hurt, or even worse, dead!” I yelled, once more my anger getting the best of me. “Charlie has had the entire state of Washington looking for you!”

“I was fine, Bella, I had to get away.” He answered as he took another step away from me.

“Why did you leave?” I asked resolved. “You promised not to...”

“Truthfully, it was the invitation that sent me over the edge.” He answered. “It jerked me back into a reality that I really wasn’t ready to deal with. I almost broke the table…I had to run away. Get away, flee from the place that caused me so much pain…”

“There was no reason to run, Jacob.” I looked at him with angry tears flowing from my eyes.

“Yes…there was a reason to run, Bella, and I took it. I am sorry. I‘m sorry if it caused you pain, that‘s not what I intended to do. I made a resolution at that point, I had to let you go. ” He spoke as he returned to me. “But tonight, my resolution faltered, and I was ready to steal you away from here, run with you as far as I could, but that damned look in your eyes. I couldn’t do it.”

No matter how mad I was, I couldn‘t allow myself to hurt Jacob anymore. I couldn’t say bye, not right now, not to my best friend. Most importantly I couldn’t do it when he was hurting, I had to set him straight.

“Jacob, I know there is someone out there for you. Granted, I know at one time it might have been me…” I had to stop myself and rethink my words. “Jacob, there’s someone who will love you, unconditionally. Someone that will live for only you. Someone who would rather die, then not have you in their lives. I know you’ll find her. Someone who will look at you and only you forever”

“And you’ll be jealous?” He smiled weakly looking at me.

“Yes…I’ll be jealous, yet I’ll be happy that you’ve found your other. The person who will complete you, the way Edward completes me and I him.” I smiled. We stood there for a moment looking at each other, I could say no more. The silence was maddening, how much longer could it go on. I tried to think of something more to say, to help. Thankfully, Jacob broke the silence for me.

“Well, Mrs. Cullen…” He smiled, eyes full of tears once more.

“Yes?” I was surprised that he used my new last name.

“Where do we go from here?”

“Well, I think that we should return to the reception. You need to see Billy. After that I say that we should still try to be friends.”

“Okay.” He barked as we headed back to the reception.

“Bella?” He whispered.

“Hmm?”

“You look so beautiful tonight.” He whispered as we neared the back of the stage.

“Thanks Jake!” I smiled as we crossed the dance floor and headed towards Billy‘s table.

As we neared Billy‘s table, I could hear Charlie tell Renee that this was the boy who he thought I would end up with. I had to roll my eyes, I knew that he wasn’t saying it to be mean or rude. Finally we reached Billy’s table. Seth Clearwater helped Billy from his chair and I slowly returned to my seat as Jacob and Billy embraced. I looked into Edwards eyes and leaned in and kissed me gently on the forehead. I sighed and lost myself in the beauty of his eyes. I knew this was the look that Jacob was talking about, I never wanted to let it end. Once more I looked out into the crowd and saw Jacob and Billy talking. In my mind I wondered if Jacob would ever find the love that he so desperately desired, or if he would continue to hurt himself by wanting something that I couldn’t return. Not anymore, anyways.