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Untold Twilight Stories

DISCLAIMER:Oh MY GOD! IT"S STEPHANIE MEYER THE AUTHOR OF TWILIGHT! oh look it's afterxdreaming that...crazy...person..that writes fanfics... What the Twilight Characters do when we're not reading... Special Thanks to twilghtfan_94 for making me write these crazy stories down, other wise I would have kept putting it off and off...(Until I'm old...like Bella...:p )

Special Thanks again to what's-her-face (I can never seem to remember her name...) (afterxdreaming just got bitch slapped by what's-her-face) Sorry guys! I had to combine Stranger Danger and Red Eyes caz I'm imcapble of using my words! lol (so true...)

1. I can't get chicks cuz' of these Funky Red Eyes!!! & Stranger Danger!!!

Rating 5/5   Word Count 693   Review this Chapter

I can't get chicks cuz' of these Funky Red Eyes!!!

In the giant fortress, called Volterra, the crazy red eyed guy, umm…Aro or something, (I mean who names their kid that? Or is it just cuz they were outta ideas?) was pacing around his great castle thingy.

“Oh Jane my dear! Come here won’t you?” So Jane skipped over to him.


“Are my eyes red?”

“Uh….yeah….we kinda drink human blood…it has to go somewhere…”

“Are my eyes a pretty red… cuz it seems like I’m scaring off all the ladies.. and I know it’s not my great charm or dashing hot body.” flexing his hot muscles, ( Caius who was standing nearby coughs) “So I came to the conclusion it was my eyes… Edward didn’t have red eyes and he has a girlfriend…right?”

“That yummy smelling human? I thought she was his pet or something.” said Felix who was trying to figure out which looked better; the nice cashmere sweater or the light purple silk shirt. Hmm…

Then out of the blue Alec said, “Oh Bella. The way her mind couldn’t be read…and her smell… oh that smell…absolutely delicious…it just all turns me on… lucky Edward…lucky frikin Edward…I‘m stuck here with some dumb, ’mental torture’, control freak, kid sister ”

“Okay…” said Caius. Then Alec was on the ground withering in pain.

“Back to me people! How am I going to get hot chicks if I have these funky red eyes?”

“Uum… Aro… we all have these funky red eyes,” Said Marcus. “But some of us seem to be able to get chicks…”

“Oh shut up, you crumbly thousand year old widow!”

“Oh my god Aro you can like totally get contacts you know!” said Felix in a shockingly preppy gay voice.

“But I don’t have vision problems you stupid brain dead idiot!”

“Which is pretty surprising considering your age.” muttered Caius.

And suddenly the great doors open to reveal the beautiful Volturi fisherwoman strutting in her new clothes.

“Hey guys…and girl!” said the stunning Heidi.

The vampires groan, for there is no food following her.

Guys it’s my day off,” said the slightly annoyed Heidi, “So what’cha talking about?”

“How Aro can’t get chicks because their scared of his red eyes.” said the very annoyed Caius.

Heidi turned her beautiful head to face Aro, “You know Aro, there’s a Visine for that!”


Stranger Danger!!!!

DangerMagnet logged on

blood sucker01 logged on

ilovepuppies82 logged on

ilovepuppies82; hello edwrd…

blood sucker01; Jacob…

DangerMagnet; HI!

blood sucker01; y r u yellin?


ilovepuppies82; umm… press the “caps” button….

DangerMagnet; oh… J

Blood sucker01; computer geek…

Ilovepuppies82; WAT?!?!?

Blood sucker01; o nothing…

Ilovepuppies82; I saw that!

DangerMagnet; please guys! stop!

Ilovepuppies82 signed off

DangerMagnet; *sigh* good job Edward!!

Blood sucker01 signed off

DangerMagnet; great…

Chief_fish signed on

DangerMagnet; hi dad…

Chief_fish;hey bels

Chief_fish;…where is everyone?

DangerMagnet signed off

Chief_fish; oh…

Chief_fish signed off

Pixie_dust signed on.

Super sexy7231 signed on.

Super sexy7231; hey alice wats up! Have u seen bella?

Pixie_dust; you…

DangerMagnet logged on

blood sucker01 logged on

ilovepuppies82 logged on

blood sucker01; bella o my sweet bella, I’m so sorry about what I said early. Will you please forgive me?

DangerMagnet; O Edward I can never be mad at you! i <3 u!

Blood sucker01; I love you too Bella!

Super sexy7231; Hey Bella wats up!

DangerMagnet; uh…hi mike

Super sexy7231; so do u have time this weekend to maybe….

Blood sucker01; …>:(

DangerMagnet; I don’t think…

Pixie_dust; can we talk about something else? This is absolutely boring!

Super sexy7231; how r u on AIM anyway?

Pixie_dust; it’s called 2 computers…duh!

Ilovepuppies82; rich bastards…

Blood sucker01; WAT?!?!

Pixie_dust; Excuse me?!?!?!

Chief_fish signed on.

Chief_fish; Hi guys!

DangerMagnet; -.- hi dad

Chief_fish; what are you kids up to?

Super sexy7321; well I was about to….

Chief_fish; well I just wanted to tell you all…

Ilovepuppies82; on aim?

Chief_fish; isn’t this how you kids communicate these days?

DangerMagnet; I guess…

Chief_fish; well any way I wanted to tell you all not to go with a strnger you met on the net to some remote location. It’s very dangerous.

Pixie_dust; classic ‘stranger danger’ Charlie?

Chief_fish; I just wanted to let you kids know!

Ilovepuppies82; don’t worry we’ll keep Bella safe!

Chief_fish; thanks see you!

DangerMagnet; see you at home

Chief_fish signed off

Feline_huntress signed on.

Feline_huntress; hey guys! Do you want to go to some remote locatin and hang out?

DangerMagnet; sure!

Blood sucker01; why not?

Ilovepuppies82; I want to come too!

Pixie_dust; YAY!

Super sexy7231; sorry I can’t come I have to get my legs waxed