-Eclipse in Edward's Point if View- ~*~"It's more Inevitable than the sun rising in the East." -Alice Cullen Midnight Sun~*~
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I never thought I'd classify myself as coward but when it came to this there was no denying it. My muscles were tense and my nerves strung high. Looking at the clock I realized it was only a little after five. I had hours to go...how was I going to make it that long?
Not having the answer I just kept driving. I wasn't even sure where I was going, all I knew was that if I took a moment to stop the panic would engulf me.
As I drove back by Bella's house and the small building disappeared in my rearview mirror I had a sudden desire to go back. Charlie was off work but he would never even acknowledge my presence. He had never done so before and I spent nearly every night there with his daughter.
Making up my mind I parked the car off into the trees a couple more miles up the road and ran back. My only other option would be to keep driving or head home and neither one of those appealed to me.
I knew Emmett had taken Jasper's place with watching Charlie but I couldn't see or hear him when I reached the front yard. He was probably making a run around the perimeter. That was a good thing. I didn't feel like dealing with anyone at the moment and especially him of all people.
I loved my brother, but he could be extremely irritating at times. Usually I can deal with it, either by flat out ignoring him till he got bored, which didn't take long, or just by pouncing him. That's the way I normally shut his mouth... of course that's usually the reason why he started running it in the first place.
But there were times when I couldn't deal with him, like right now, when I had little patience and was already on my last nerve.
Climbing through the window was like second nature to me now; I swung in like I did every other night and landed silently on the carpeted floor. Almost immediately Bella's aroma surrounded me, completely dominating what was left of the intruder's scent, it helped me relax and think more clearly.
This was why I had come back... I needed a distraction, something to take my mind off the thoughts and images of danger I could not see and what my mind seemed to conjure up for it's own personal torment.
I knew this went way beyond paranoid but I couldn't help it and I honestly didn't care.
Sitting on the bed I placed my head in my hands and closed my eyes.
I could do this, she would be fine...I could do this.
How many times had I told myself that this evening? I wondered when I would actually start believing it.
With a deep breath I straightened back out and glanced around the room. Bella's school things were still laying on her desk, her English book opened with her sheet of half finished homework on top. Her clean clothes were folded and stacked neatly on her dresser waiting to be put away after her day of laundry.
She had also washed her sheets and remade her bed before she left, but as I laid back against mattress the thick quilt laying on top smelled so strongly I could almost imagine she was laying next to me.
I tried to ignore the fact that my head hit no resistance, tried to ignore the empty spot where her pillow should have been. It would only make my mind spin off in the direction I was trying to avoid.
Distraction I told myself...distraction.
Turing my head to the left I saw Bella's copy of Wuthering heights sitting on her nightstand. It was opened and laying face down, marking the place she had last left off. She had now read that book three times in row. I still didn't understand why she hadn't chosen another one of her favorites yet.
Reaching over I picked it up and looked at the page that was bent at the corner. She was on chapter nine and reading the part where Catherine finally declares her love for Heathcliff. Of course the woman admits all her desires to the poor maid Nelly. I remember many many years ago when I had first read this book I had felt no sympathy for any of the characters but Nelly. She seemed to be the only true human within the pages and was constantly thrown back and forth... seemingly none existent to the others and yet the near core of it all... the fly on the wall so to speak.
Unconsciously I began to re-read words I had already read once before. But as I took in their meaning I began to see them differently...unlike the last time I realized I could now understood what Cathy's words meant. I could relate to emotions that use to seem slightly trivial and all together ridiculous to me.
"If I were in heaven Nelly, I should be extremely miserable"
"Because you are not fit to go there' I answered (Nelly) "All sinners would be miserable in heaven"
"But it is not for that. I dreamt once that I was there"
"I'll tell you I won't hearken to your dreams, Miss Catherine! I'll go to bed" I interrupted again. She laughed, and held me down: for I made a motion to leave my chair.
"This is nothing!" cried she "I was going to say that heaven did not seem to be my home, and I broke my heart with weeping to come back to earth, and the angels were so angry that they flung me out into the middle of the heath on top of Wuthering Heights, where I awoke sobbing for joy. That will do to explain my secret, as well as the other...
I've no more business to marry Edgar Linton than I have to be in heaven, and if the wicked man in there had not brought Heathcliff so low, I shouldn't have thought of it. It would degrade me to marry Heathcliff now, so he shall never know how I love him: and that, not because he is handsome, Nelly, but because he's more myself than I am. Whatever our souls are made of, his and mine are the same: and Linton's is as different as a moonbeam from a lightning, or frost from fire."
I laid the book on my chest and stared up at the ceiling. What was it Bella had told me that day when I asked what it was about this book she found so appealing?
‘...I think it's something about the inevitability. How nothing can keep them apart...not her selfishness, or his evil, or even death, in the end...'
Picking the book back up and flipped to the beginning and started with chapter one.
I began to re-read with different eyes. Though I could have read much faster I took my time. I wanted to take in every word and every meaning. I wanted to figure out what Bella had meant by her words and understand why she loved this seemingly dark story so much.
So it seemed this would have to be my distraction for now.
Words from a different time just like myself.
I just had to concentrate on the minds of Nelly and Mr. Lockwood instead of the worries threatening to overpower my senses. Because if I gave in I knew they would eventually force me to make a decision I would ultimately regret.
Though I had read slowly -for me anyway- I was still nearly halfway through by the time I looked at the clock again. It was a little after seven and the room was now dark.
Then as if Emmet had known I had stopped reading his face suddenly appeared in the window. Perhaps I had been more absorbed than I thought as I hadn't heard him approach.
Though I was a bit disappointed, as I was still in no mood to have company, I couldn't help but smirk as Emmett struggled, carefully maneuvering his huge form through the small opening. But once he had successfully entered, without breaking the old wood frame, he stood and did a full circle taking in the little bedroom. It was his first time inside Bella's room, or house for that matter.
He let out a bark of laughter and turned back to me
"Quiet" I warned him. "Charlie's downstairs"
"Oh come on" he said, though he did lower his voice. "That man would sleep through a hurricane right now; there's no way he can hear anything"
I chuckled softly. Even without my enhanced hearing I would still be able to hear Charlie's loud snores up the stairs. I often found myself wondering how Bella could not hear it when she slept. But I suppose it was something you would become use to over time.
"I couldn't help it" Emmet went on taking another look around "This room is just so...Bella-ish"
That's Emmet for you, always so articulate.
"Anyway" he said looking at me and sitting in the rocking chair by the window. I grimaced as it creaked in protest. I really hoped he didn't break it; I was rather fond of that piece of furniture and I think Bella was too. "Esme wanted to know where you got to"
"No where" I said gesturing around the room "As you can see"
Emmet snorted "Yeah Alice called and said you were here moping about...but Esme wants to know if you'll be coming home till Bella calls."
"I am not moping" I said a bit louder, ignoring the rest.
"Alright" he said raising his hands "she said it not me... don't kill the messenger" He was looking at me and I could tell from the set of his mouth and his thoughts he was trying his best not to burst into laughter.
"Well message delivered..." I said becoming more and more aggravated "...now don't you have something you should be doing?"
"Right" he said in mock seriousness as he got to his feet, "Back to duty sir" he gave a salute and turned on his heel before jumping back out the window with much more grace than he did entering.
I growled in frustration and stood up.
So much for my distraction.
The phone in my pocket though it was rather small felt huge against my chest. Reaching my hand in I pulled it out and flipped it open. Maybe I could just call and check, just make sure everything was alright.
It wasn't like I would be breaking any of the rules or any of the promises I had given Bella.
I hesitated with my thumb hovering over the button.
But before I could come to a decision a soft chuckling reached my ears followed by...‘Pathetic'
I spun to the window and threw the only thing I had in my hand at Emmet's large face. His hand flashed out white as he easily caught it.
"Now, now" he said still chuckling ‘you might need this later'
"Don't; you have other places to be, other people to irritate?" I asked, striding over and snatching my phone back.
I rolled my eyes and moved closer to the window.
If he wasn't going to leave I was. I had accepted defeat and I was ready to wait pathetically by the treaty line for my phone to ring.
"Why?" he asked suspiciously. Hearing his thoughts it was clear he knew my intentions and was stalling me.
"I have no intention of breaking the treaty tonight..." I said flatly "give me a little credit"
"That's not what..."
I raised my eyebrows.
"You know it's not fair when you do that..."
I sighed impatiently; having heard this from him more than once.
But of course he went on...
"What's the point of ever saying anything in the first place...and you know sometimes people think things because they don't want it to be over heard..."
"...or because they're thinking of what they want to say before they say it. So really you shouldn't consider a random thought or idea as actual words, because in all reality..."
Well his "actual" words became muffled as I pressed my hand into his face and forcibly knocked him backwards.
The echoing thud of his large body hitting the ground made me pause and listen.
Emmet was right, Charlie would sleep through anything.
Taking one last deep breath I jumped out the window and landed gracefully next to my brother... who was still spread eagled on the ground. His low cussing and thoughts -which were always loud and clear- gave me the warning I needed. Taking an easy step to the right Emmet's dive missed me by nearly a foot.
He staggered slightly but gained his balance quickly and spun around into a crouch. His gold eyes bore into mine with an all too familiar glint as a smirk formed on his face.
I copied his position and grinned backed.
I knew this was his intention all along but I gave into it nonetheless, because it was exactly what I needed... another distraction. Perhaps I could even picture the dog's face instead of Emmett's. Let loose on some of the tension that had been building up daily.
I felt my grin widen at the thought.
Like he always did when we fought, Emmett began singing loudly in his head. He did this in the hope that his next move would be less noticed. It hardly ever worked but it still didn't stop him from trying each time.
Just as he went to lunge at me however he froze.
"Is that your phone?"
Immediately I straightened out, my hand reaching for my pocket.
Then -before I knew what was happening and before I could register the fact that my phone wasn't ringing- I was lying flat on my back looking up at my brother's triumphant face.
And then he was gone, streaking towards the trees.
I laid there in slight shock.
Emmet had finally found a way around my advantage. He had played dirty and used the one thing that could distract me thoroughly; the one thing that instantly took all my thoughts and concentration.
I growled, half in anger half in amusement, and leapt quickly to my feet, shooting off after him.
He may have his little tricks but I still had my speed.
I rolled over, Emmett's huge form tangled with mine. Managing to get onto his back I wrapped my arm around his neck holding him in a tight head lock. I started laughing as he struggled. Sure he was stronger than me but I was smaller and faster and knew exactly where I could hold him. Dealing with him the first few years after his change gave me a lot of practice in that area.
"Give up yet?"
He growled and just as he thought about flinging his leg up I ducked my head feeling his foot skim the top of my hair.
I laughed harder.
Emmett stopped trying to loosen my hold with his hands and placed them on the ground.
Realizing I had no way to avoid his next move I braced my self.
Using his thick arms Emmett pushed himself up from the ground with such force it flung him backwards through the air. We both collided into the thick tree behind us and as I was still on his back I took the blunt of the blow.
There was an echoing crack and I felt a tremor of pain shoot down my back as the tree crashed to the ground under our weight. Before I could compose myself Emmett had turned around planning to pin himself completely on top of me. I quickly pulled my legs up to my chest and kicked both my feet into his stomach sending him flying backwards again.
He was back on his feet in a flash but I was faster, just as he crouched to lunge I was already a blur heading towards him. I crashed into his front tackling him to the ground.
A ripping noise filled the air and we both paused
"Damn-it Edward!" ‘Rose is going to kill me!'
I couldn't help but start laughing as I realized what the noise was. Emmett's jeans had ripped from behind and he was now sporting a long hole from the top of his waist to halfway down his right leg.
I rolled off him still laughing as he continued to cuss in his head and out loud. Rosalie had been getting more and more frustrated with the fact Emmet was constantly tearing up his clothes. It had been an ongoing argument for many, many years now and after the last big blow out he promised to not fight in his good clothes. Which meant anything that she liked him in the most.
"You know Em" I said through my laughter as I easily avoided his next lunge.
"You wouldn't have this problem if you didn't ..."
"...wear those tight ..."
"...jeans all the time."
‘She likes them' he growled in his head.
This only made me laugh harder. "If you weren't..." I froze as a light buzzing reached my ears, something vibrating against the leaves.
Unfortunately Emmett took this opportunity to make contact with the side of my head. I stumbled sideways but managed to remain upright. Still hearing the buzzing I ducked under Emmet's arm and ran towards my phone, where I had laid it in order for it to remain in one piece.
All the mindless wrestling was forgotten as I snatched it from the ground. "Bella?"
"Damn it Alice I told you not to call this number, use...."
"It was the only way to get ...Oh, duck"
I didn't hesitate as I flung my head down just in time to have large branch whistled overhead and soar into the darkness. I spun around to see Emmett running at me again his smug smirk in place.
I held up my hand "Cool it" I said firmly and he instantly stopped. Sometimes it was nice being the older brother.
"As I was saying" Alice went on "This was the only way I could get your attention and I thought you'd like to know that if you two carry on there's going to be four more trees uprooted and I can just about guarantee you Charlie will notice in the morning."
After we cleaned up our little mess Emmett and I doubled checked the perimeter, making sure everything was still safe, and headed back towards Charlie's front yard.
As we neared the porch I could make out a small form sitting on the steps.
‘It's just me' Alice's thoughts called out. She stood and met us half way, throwing a fresh pair of pants at Emmet. "I figured I'd show mercy and save you from the wrath of Rose for one night" she said with a grin.
"You're a life saver" Emmet said in relief before he pulled Alice from the ground burying her in his massive arms. "I knew there was a reason I loved you!"
"Ugh, yes we all love each other now please put me down"
Doing as he was told he quickly placed her back on her feet before tearing off what was left of his pants and shoving his legs into the new pair.
"That was fun" Emmet said cuffing me on the back of the head when he was fully dressed again. "It's been a while"
I rolled my eyes. But I knew what he meant and if I was totally honest with myself I had enjoyed it. He was right it had been a long time since I did anything with him, anything with any of my family really. Except hunting trips. I realized with everything that had been going on lately I really did miss the regular rough time with my brother.
As I glanced at my watch however the fear that had been momentarily pushed back forced itself to forefront of my mind again. It was after eight and Bella could be calling anytime, she did say she wasn't going to be out late and if that was the case I needed to get my car.
When Emmett went back to his post of watch, I headed down the road with Alice at my side. We didn't run, just walked at a quick pace. If I ran I would get to my car that much quicker, thus get to the treaty line sooner and have to wait there longer.
Of course waiting now was difficult, but I remembered that day I had fought with myself over whether or not to cross. Even though this was a different situation I didn't want to tempt myself again.
"That's strange even for you" I commented as we walked away from Charlie's "You never miss a chance at seeing Emmett cower"
She shrugged, her dark head bobbing around my shoulder. "I was feeling merciful and I saw that this fight would probably last into morning. Emmet does have the tendency to put his foot in his mouth" she said lightly
I was about to speak again but stopped.
Alice had frozen her eyes glazing over with that familiar vacancy, and as the vision hit I saw everything she did.
A flash of red eyes.
Broken voices all running together.
And then as quickly as it came it was gone
"What was that?" I asked looking down at her just as she was coming back around.
"Good question" she growled shaking her heads slightly "I have no idea...It's been like this all day, just little snippets, things I have no way of making out." she ran a frustrated hand through her short hair, her light mood now gone as her head flooded with aggravated and confused thoughts.
"I can feel it, there's something there trying to get through but it never does... I mean I saw you and Emmett clearly, I can even see the others... but I know there are other things I'm missing. Not just the stranger in Bella's room. I'm having trouble focusing now... I don't understand"
She looked up at me her dark gold eyes slightly fearful "does this ever happen to you?" ‘I mean do you ever go to read someone's mind and it becomes fuzzy or doesn't come out clearly?'
I raised my eyebrows, she knew the only person I had ever had trouble reading was Bella. I opened my mouth but she cut me off before I could speak
"Yeah I know' she grumbled as she began to walk again ‘Bella's the only one you can't read'
I quickened my stride till I was next to her again, matching her steps.
"This is beyond frustrating" she went on ‘and it gives me a headache'.
I chuckled softly and wrapped my arm around her shoulders. I could defiantly relate to that. Some thoughts could be very painful. "That's what happens, dear sister when we are the freaks among freaks"
It was clear I had failed in my effort to make her smile when she stubbornly crossed her arms. It reminded me so much of Bella I got a pang of longing in my chest.
Would this night ever end?
"It's still not fair" Alice all but pouted "...Jasper's a freak too and he doesn't get headaches"
I couldn't help but laugh at that. "Your right he doesn't, he just has to feel what everyone around him is feeling.... including nausea"
She finally grinned "Yeah he told my about that...poor Bella"
Silence fell and after a while so did the smile on Alice's face.
Though she didn't say anything else out loud I could still hear the fears running through her head.
Alice was afraid she was losing her gift. Something she relied on so much more than the rest of us and so much more than she would ever let on. She lived in the future; she knew what was going to happen, how things would turn out...always.
Other than her human life Alice had never had any blanks in her mind, never had blanks in her visions. Everything had always been clear for her. She knew nothing else, living another way was completely foreign to her and I could tell the idea of losing it frightened her more than she was saying.
"Have you spoken with Carlisle?" I asked. If anyone could give her a proper guess or theory it was him.
"Not today, it's been a bad day at the hospital"
I nodded. I remembered earlier today on the phone when he had told me he was in over head at the moment and wanted me to check the paper for him. It's not common for Forks to have a busy emergency room, or busy anything really. But it does have its days.
"He'll be home in a couple of hours..." she added "but from what I can see he's going to be called back in later on tonight...at least....well I think so anyway"
"Maybe you were right" I said trying to soothe her, I could see she was becoming more upset. She didn't enjoy second guessing herself "Maybe you're doing too much...I'm sorry about that too, really. I've been putting too much on you"
"But I should be able to handle it."
"You're only one person" I reminded her. "Just do your best and try not to stress about it so much. That could have a lot to do with it also"
‘How can I not when there's another psychotic vampire after my sister?'
I sighed, "We are all looking out for Bella now, including the pack. Even if you happen to miss Victoria before she shows up, when she finally does there are enough eyes looking out that she won't get anywhere near Bella. I can guarantee you that." Forcing down the immediate growl that always built up when my angel's name and that fiend were mentioned in the same sentence I went on. "And Victoria will not get away again, if I ever lay eyes on her my face will be the last thing she see's" despite my effort the last few words were formed out between clenched teeth.
I felt a small hand on my arm and stopped to look down at Alice "It will be alright." She said softly
It wasn't till then I realized I wasn't breathing. I let out my breath and tried to relax.
"I thought I was doing the reassuring here" I said, forcing a smile.
"Well it's clear you need it more than I do" she grinned up at me, her white teeth flashing in the moonlight "I'm proud of you by the way; you're doing really good tonight"
I laughed and was surprised at how shaky it was. "Well I've had help"
"Yes" she smirked "Heathcliff is quite fascinating isn't he?"
I rolled my eyes; of course she would have seen that, she was the one who had seen me ‘moping'.
"Do you want a ride back?" When we made it to the car.
‘No I think I'll run, it helps clear my head'
I nodded and got in but hesitated before I closed the door. "Alice?"
"Mmm?" she sang turning back towards me
"Are you sure everything's alright...tonight I mean"
"Yes" she nodded
"Have you...." I began hopefully but she interrupted
‘No Edward...I haven't seen anything, I can't yet. But I promise you Bella will be home tonight and if I know her at all she'll be more at ease than she has been, all things considered.'
I sighed and mumbled a thanks before I shut the door.
‘Trust me' was the last thought I got from her as I sped down the road.
And I wanted to... badly.
I wanted to believe her words with everything I had. Because if I could to that...if I could let myself give in to that hope I knew I would actually be able to breathe properly.
Now that I had no more distractions I was left with nothing else to think about but what I had been trying to avoid... my fear.
But it was back now and had free rein to gnaw relentlessly at my insides.
- Seed of Doubt
- Unwilling to see
- The Right to Know
- Strike One
- Worth It
- Getting Heathcliff
- Curious Uncertainties
- Strike Two
- Not Today
- Getting Heathcliff Part 2
- Self Preservation
- A Change of Plans
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- 06 Jul 08
- 12 Mar 10
- In Progress