Text Size Large SizeMedium SizeSmall Size    Color Scheme Black SchemeWhite SchemeGrey SchemePaper Scheme        

The Inevitable

Summary:
-Eclipse in Edward's Point if View- ~*~"It's more Inevitable than the sun rising in the East." -Alice Cullen Midnight Sun~*~


Notes:


20. Panic

Rating 5/5   Word Count 4020   Review this Chapter

Recap of last chapter:

“Do you have plans with your parents?”

“Yes. f you’ll excuse me….” I turned without looking back at Bella.

If I saw her pleading eyes again I would cave. I knew she wanted me to go with her but I needed to get out of here. I needed to breathe….needed to think….

I needed to go back to Bella and run from Forks.

I needed to keep her safe….

I made it to the back door and threw it open.

I needed to find Alice.

Chapter 19

Panic

No sooner had I thought this than I felt my phone vibrate in my pocket. I continued forward, a low growl building in my chest. The fabric of the gown tore easily under my frustrated fingers, the yellow pieces landing on the wet pavement under my feet.

I didn’t realize I was moving too fast to be considered normal until I reached the edge of the trees; covering the large parking lot in mere seconds. Though secrecy was the last thing I was worried about at the moment, I felt a small part of mind automatically scan out for other thoughts, any sign that I had been seen. There was nothing, except the continuous buzz I left behind in the school building.

This quick observation was done without pause and I was quickly moving further into the shadows snatching the still vibrating phone from my pocket at the same time.

“I know, I know!” Alice said quickly before I could even open my mouth. Anything I was going to say was replaced by the growl finally slipping out between my teeth.

I already knew that she knew.

“Just cool it alright!” Her voice was hard and stern and it only made me angrier. “I didn’t find out until after I got to Charlie’s….Bella…”

I cut her off. I didn’t want excuses. “What do you….”

“I still can’t see anything.” She answered the unfinished question, her words flowing out in a rush. “I hoped knowing more would clear things up a bit but it hasn’t. It’s still just snippets and blurs. Nothing to go on…”

DAMNIT!”

“Edward just…”

“DO NOT TELL ME TO CALM DOWN ALICE!”

I felt my body freeze up as soon as the loud words left my mouth. I sucked in a breath and squeezed my eyes shut. Despite the fact I was upset with Alice, I knew she was right, I needed to calm down….and perhaps more so than that she didn’t deserve my yelling….not again.

I let the breath out, running a hand through my hair and gripping the strands in the back as if it could physically rein in my anger. It wasn’t working very well. “Why the hell did you block me?” I hissed through my teeth. Knowing if I un-clenched them I would be yelling again.

“Because I didn’t want…” she began but I cut her off. That question was pointless, her excuses still didn’t matter, there was no time for them.

“We have to act.” I said quickly, my mind spinning in the direction it needed to be. “No more waiting for a vision, we…”

“Edward we can’t just…”

“We can’t afford to WAIT FOR SOMETHING TO HAPPEN!” My voice was rising again but it couldn’t be helped. Besides, these panicked and angry words were not aimed at Alice. They were aimed at everything, everyone….me. “Not anymore! Not now!” I realized was pacing back and forth between the trees, leaving a short narrow path in the wet foliage. Hopefully the thick trees and dark shade would block my blurred moving form, as I was no longer paying attention.

“I know but…” Alice began but before she could finish my mind once again screeched to a halt and sped in another direction. There was so much that needed to be done, every second was dire and I was wasting more and more time the longer I was arguing with Alice. “Put Carlisle on the phone,” I said as evenly as I could manage.

“Edward….”

“I need to speak with him…” My pacing paused as this need hit me harder than I thought it would. “….now” I added. There was no one else I wanted to talk to right now. I needed Carlisle, he needed to know, and we needed to figure out what to do….something needed to be done.

“Edward he’s…”

CARLISLE, ALICE!!”

“HE’S NOT HOME YET!” It was only when her voice rose to match mine that I realized I had yelled again. “You know he and Esme are driving home. It’s going to take them longer to get back here….pull it together.”

“I just found out the hoard of newborns killing in Seattle aren’t after me at all but after Bella….Bella Alice, and you expect me to ‘pull it together’?!”

Alice was saying something, her voice seemed impatient but also trying to be soothing at the same time. But that’s all I noticed, her actual words weren’t processing because my own words were replaying in my head.

‘…hoard of newborns killing in Seattle….after Bella…..’ My legs suddenly seemed too light to hold my body and I felt the soft bark of a tree pressing into my back.

For some reason, saying the words myself, made it more real. Made it final. They were coming for her….for Bella.

Jesus Christ…” The words came out as I chocked moan and the last of the anger drained from my body, or maybe it was the realization that it wasn’t anger….but fear.

“Of all the things I could get her dragged into.” I whispered, more to myself than Alice. “It had to be this…. this….and on top of everything else….everything I’ve already put her through.” I crouched down, small pieces of the tree’s bark crumbling into my shirt as I leaned forward over my knees, squeezing my eyes shut again. But all I could see was brown eyes. My brown eyes. “What are we going to do?” The whispered question was rhetorical, but Alice answered anyway.

“Right now, nothing,” she said softly.

My teeth gritted together, but I couldn’t find it in me to argue. I would talk to Carlisle soon enough.

“We go on as if nothing has changed,” she continued. “The party…”

“How in the hell can you possibly think of the party right now?” I asked incredulously, feeling some of the anger flare back up. “The least you could do is give Bella a break, she doesn’t need the stress of this party added to everything else.”

“It’s exactly what she needs,” Alice said firmly. “I’d rather have her stressing over being in a crowd and hosting a party than what could be coming.”

I sighed, but it was a sigh of defeat not frustration, because I knew she was right. Again.

“Speaking of Bella,” Alice went on. “How bad did you freak out on her?”

I winced, but didn’t say anything. Alice took my silence as an answer though as she groaned softly.

“I told her to wait,” she mumbled in frustration.

“At least she’s honest with me.” I said flatly, staring at the trampled ground under my feet. The words were not harsh, just a statement.

“I didn’t lie,” Alice said smoothly. “I just kept silent.”

“Of course,” I mumbled.

“And it was with good reason.” She went on stubbornly. “Bella was already scared and I wanted to try and break it to you alone, or at least with some of us there.” She sighed. “I guess it doesn’t matter now, you probably have her all but terrified at the moment.”

Guilt washed through me as I remembered Bella’s pale face and wide eyes. I knew she had been trying to calm me….worried about me, as usual.

And what did I do? I left her standing there. Alone.

Idiot!

I groaned, frustrated with myself. “I have to go Alice,” I said pulling myself up straight.

“I know, Charlie’s going to the lodge down town and then he’ll be driving Bella up to the house.”

“Alright.” Hearing the first name I hesitated…. “Is Jasper with you?” I asked

“Nope” Alice said “I’m one step ahead of you, he’s already at Charlie’s, so far there’s nothing except the dog’s trails around the house. Some of the pack was there earlier this morning making runs, but other than that nothing.”

I sighed, at least that was something covered, something was done. “Good. I’ll see you in a bit then.”

It seemed to take ages for Charlie to finish at the restaurant. I waited outside stretching my patience as far as it would go.

I felt so….stupid.

There were so many things I should have seen and been prepared for. I should have been able to keep it together at the school. Alice was right, I knew I had frightened Bella more than what she already was. Seeing me loose it was the last thing she needed.

But I wasn’t used to be being surprised.

I was used to knowing what was going on, used to knowing what was going to be said, what was going to be done.

And I had been completely blindsided.

And yet it was painfully obvious. Everything was there, all the facts and clues….they had pretty much been piled up under my nose and screaming in my face.

But I had been deaf.

Was I really so ridiculously clueless or was it the fact that a part of me didn’t want to acknowledge the real threat….the real target.

From across the parking lot I peered in the window and could see the back of Bella’s brown hair. She sat stiff in her chair, her shoulders tense, ignoring and being ignored by those around her. It took everything I had not to rush inside and pull her into my arms.

It was what I should have done in the first place.

Instead I ran.

I growled in frustration, my hand making its path through my hair for what felt like the hundredth time.

Was Charlie ever going to shut up and eat?

An agonizing half hour pasted before I had my answer. Bella jumped to her feet startling me from my thoughts. The flash of panic and alarm that hit me instantly faded when I concentrated on Charlie’s thoughts.

In a hurry?” he asked, taking in Bella’s somewhat shaky appearance. She quickly made an excuse about wanting to help Alice and as soon as Charlie’s back was turned she headed for the door.

I took a moment to close my eyes and concentrate, taking in every small detail around me….every smell and every sound. I opened my mind and sorted through the babble, searching for any kind of threat that could be waiting.

There was still nothing.

Nothing but the loud crowded restaurant, cars passing on the street, Bella’s footsteps on the damp pavement, and that strong familiar beat.

I opened my eyes and breathed out slowly at the sound. My senses automatically being drawn to her as she leaned against the cruiser.

Charlie was still caught up in his conversation and it was only a matter of time before he noticed Bella’s absence. I took my small opportunity, my legs moving forward before I had thought it through completely.

Bella’s heart stuttered erratically when she caught my movement, but it was gone in the same instant. When I reached her I did what I should of done the instant I learned the truth: I pulled her into my chest.

Her warmth enveloped me, curling around my waist with the movement of her arms and rising up my back. My frozen form selfishly soaked it up, thawing my muscles one at a time until it felt like I could actually breathe again. I wondered briefly if I had taken a breath since leaving the school.

Either way I did now. With her soft hair tickling my cheek I breathed in deeply, hearing Bella do the same thing against my shirt. It soothed me, and from the sound of Bella’s heart it seemed to go both ways. She relaxed further in my arms, her tense shoulders falling while her arms loosened slightly from their grip around my waist.

I knew I still wasn’t thinking too clearly, I could still feel the raw panic leaking in my veins despite her warmth, but there was something ultimately more dire. Something we both needed in this moment.

I pulled back, letting my fingers find her delicate chin, and lifted her soft lips to mine.

Like it was the antidote to all of our problems I drank in her presence, every soft caress and every precious beat of life. Both of us were trying to calm the other more than ourselves and in the process we both found what little peace we could the only way we knew how. Despite the situation and the reason behind it, it was right, it was perfect….it was us.

When I pulled away she took a deep breath and looked up at me. Her eyes holding nothing but concern. Concern for me.

“How are you?”

There were many things I wanted to say and do, the main of which was be angry that she was worrying over the wrong person, but I felt drained, and settled for the truth.

“Not so great.”

I cupped her warm cheek and she leaned into the touch. “But I’ve got a handle on myself. I’m sorry that I lost it back there.”

She shook her head. “My fault. I should have waited to tell you”

“No,” I said firmly. ”This is something I needed to know. I can’t believe I didn’t see it.”

“You’ve got a lot on your mind.” She said gently, still trying to soothe me. I bit back my irritation. Not irritation at her but at myself.

“And you don’t?” I knew before I asked she wouldn’t have time to answer. Charlie was leaving.

I began to feel the pressure in my chest increase again. Impulsively I leaned into her lips for a second time, letting the warmth and sweet burn wash away some of the dread.

“Charlie’s on his way.” I mumbled quickly when we pulled apart.

“I’ll have him drop me at your house.”

In the two seconds I had left before Charlie stepped outside I reached up my other hand and cupped her face, studying every detail and feeling the familiar rise of her blush beneath my fingers.

Pain stabbed at my chest. I could not lose her again. The pulse of life and heat being soaked up by my cold hands was so simple and beautiful….and yet at the same time desperately vital.

It stood for her life and my survival.

“I’ll follow you there.”

The run to the house felt good, though I desperately wanted to bypass Charlie’s slow pace. I wanted to push my frustration out in speed. I needed to run, let loose in some way because I could feel the tension building. It was only matter of time before I could no longer contain it.

Plus I desperately needed to talk to Carlisle and Jasper, preferably before the hoard of people showed up.

I no longer cared what Carlisle thought, or Jasper’s fear of the Volturi…There would be no more waiting.

We could not wait for them to come to us. That would be too close. I couldn’t even let myself think of allowing them to reach Forks.

I knew I had to send Bella away, far away. A fight was unavoidable now more than ever and she couldn’t be anywhere near when it finally broke out. But the very thought of her leaving tore at my mind.

We could not be apart but at the same time I had to protect her. The two instincts were evenly matched, both fierce and unyielding. I felt torn in two with nowhere to start.

“It’s not silly. I feel like I don’t always do everything for you that I should.”

Charlie’s words caught my attention and I was both surprised and grateful. Grateful for the distraction and surprised because he had admitted something I never thought he would.

Though I was running alongside the Police cruiser through the dark trees, I could still make out his words and his thoughts.

“That’s ridiculous.” Bella’s voice was next. And it was filled with the reassurance I knew would be there with a statement like that from her father. Not that he deserved it. “You do a fantastic job. World’s best dad. And…”

She paused, and it would be hard to catch the slight tremor in her voice if I didn’t know the sound so well. “And I’m really glad I came to live with you, Dad. It was the best idea I ever had.” Her words were soft and very sincere. I could tell from Charlie’s thoughts how hard they hit him.

“So don’t worry…” Bella went on, her voice turning more light as she covered her feelings with a joke. Something perfected by both father and daughter. “you’re just experiencing post-graduation pessimism.”

Charlie snorted. ‘She gives me way too much credit.’ His gaze landed on her brace again and the same guilt filled his mind, only this time it was made stronger by Bella’s words. “Maybe.” he mumbled. “But I’m sure I slipped up in a few places. I mean look at your hand!”

She followed his gaze down into her lap. A lock of hair blocking her expression from both me and Charlie.

“I never thought I needed to teach you how to throw a punch. Guess I was wrong about that” ‘And so much more’

Bella’s head snapped back up, and I watched as her eyes narrowed. “I thought you were on Jacob’s side?” she accused.

Like that matters’ “No matter what side I’m on, if someone kisses you without your permission, you should be able to make your feelings clear without hurting yourself. You didn’t keep your thumb inside your fist did you?”

He took his eyes from the road long enough to see Bella roll her eyes. “No, Dad. That’s kind of sweet in a weird way, but I don’t think lessons would have helped. Jacob’s head is really hard.”

I felt myself smirk at the same time Charlie laughed. “Hit him in the gut next time.” ‘or where the sun doesn’t shine’

“Next time?” Bella said loudly. I was just as incredulous. It seemed Charlie was anticipating the day Jacob would get his second chance as much as the dog was himself. Though when I thought about it I realized I shouldn’t really expect anything else from Charlie.

“Aw, don’t be too hard on the kid. He’s young.”

Yes I agreed.

Jacob was young….he was also extremely immature…. insufferably thick headed…way too loud, and beyond obno….

“He’s obnoxious.”

I felt myself smirk. Very obnoxious.

“He’s still your friend.” Charlie pointed out completely ruining the small moment I was having.

I knew he was right. It would take a lot more than that undesired kiss for Bella to lose her feelings for Jacob. I didn’t want to admit it but those feelings ran too deep….how deep I still didn’t know.

All I knew was that they were still there and had been built from a hard loss. A loss I had created myself.

“I know.” Bella murmured looking back at her lap. “I don’t really know what the right thing to do here is, Dad.”

I sighed. Her voice tugging at my chest. She sounded so lost. Her overly kind heart not wanting to hurt her friend and yet confused on how to draw the line he needed.

Charlie nodded. His thoughts just as confused as Bella sounded, though for a different reason. It was somewhat humorous listening to his mind run through different things to say. Giving advice wasn’t something Charlie usually struggled with, but this particular situation was different. It involved two things his mind fought hard against combining: His daughter and Boys.

“Yeah.” he said slowly. “The right thing isn’t always real obvious.” ‘Obviously’ “Sometimes the right thing for one person is the wrong thing for someone else.” ‘Which usually causes everything to get screwed up no matter what you decide. And someone is always hurt in the end. You’re damned if you do and damned if you don’t’ “So….good luck figuring that out.”

“Thanks,” Bella said, her voice sarcastic, making Charlie laugh.

I shook my head, I suppose that’s as good as it gets coming from him.

“If this party gets too wild….”

“Don’t worry about it, Dad. Carlisle and Esme are going to be there. I’m sure you can come, too, if you want.”

Uh No’ “Where’s the turn off again?” Charlie asked, instantly steering the subject away from the party. It was clear where Bella learned it from. ‘You can barely see anything on this road…. Not that there’s anything out here to see in the first place’ “They ought to clear out their drive—it’s impossible to find in the dark.”

“Just around the next bend, I think.” Bella answered.

We were drawing closer to the house and I was beginning to see the long expanse of lights through the trees. I also began to pick up on everyone’s thoughts. It seemed they were all home and waiting.

“You know you’re right….” I heard Bella’s voice again. “It is impossible to find. Alice said she put a map in the invitation, but even so, maybe everyone will get lost.” Her voice was so hopeful I couldn’t help but chuckle, and I found it relieved some of the pressure. She should really know Alice better than that by now.

“Maybe,” Charlie mumbled. “Or maybe not.” He added as they turned the last corner and the lit up drive came into view.

Whoa’

“Alice,” Bella hissed, and it sounded more like an accusation than anything else.

“Wow,” Charlie said in awe as he realized the lights continued the whole three miles. “She doesn’t do things half way does she?” ‘This must have taken forever’

As they made their way up the drive, I once again concentrated on my surroundings, stretching my ability as far as it was go. But just like last time there was no sign of a threat. No thoughts except Charlie’s and my family. I hated this anticipation, hated not being able to know when danger would strike.

“Sure you don’t want to come in?” Bella asked, as they pulled up front.

“Extremely sure. Have fun, kid.”

“Thanks so much, Dad.”

Charlie pulled away chuckling as Bella made her way towards the porch.

It only lasted for a fraction of a second but the sight of her walking alone, in the open and vulnerable to so many things had me flying forward and up the steps.

“Bella?”

She turned and I grabbed her shoulders, pulling her towards me. My lips met hers again and they were frantic. I didn’t know how I was going to do this. Just the wait outside the restaurant and the run home was unbearable. I realized I wouldn’t make it if I had to send her away without me. I wouldn’t be able to think straight much less fight. She was still here in this moment and yet the pressure of her absence was already too strong.

Overwhelming.

I pulled her closer in desperation, her soft body molding to mine, her scent swallowing me in fire as I pressed my mouth to hers as fiercely as I could and it still wasn’t enough. The feeling wasn’t going away.

For once Bella was the one to pull away and the loss of contact was painful.

She took in some much needed oxygen and placed her hands on my chest to steady herself. I couldn’t look away from her face, but she wouldn’t return my gaze. “Let’s get this stupid party over with.” She mumbled, her eyes focused somewhere bellow my left shoulder.

That was all I could take, there would be no more silence, no more worrying about me. She was frightened, and that concealed fear was enough to cover my own. I gently took her face in my hands like I had done earlier and waited. She knew what I wanted.

When her eyes met mine, I squeezed her face lightly. “I won’t let anything happen to you.” I whispered fiercely, knowing if I spoke any louder my voice would not have remained steady.

I watched as the line on her forehead dissolved and her eyes softened while at the same time seemed to bore straight through me. She reached up and placed her soft fingers to my slightly warmed lips. “I’m not worried about myself so much,” she murmured.

I breathed out through her fingers, resisting the urge to roll my eyes. “Why am I not surprised by that?”

Reaching up I pulled her hand away from my face and held it firmly in my grasp. I had no intention of letting go anytime soon. Then using every ounce of will power I had I turned our bodies towards the door and smiled. “Ready to celebrate?”