-Eclipse in Edward's Point if View- ~*~"It's more Inevitable than the sun rising in the East." -Alice Cullen Midnight Sun~*~
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Looking into that peaceful sleeping face made it all the more difficult to leave. But it had been too long since I last hunted and the agonizing burn in the back of my throat told me so. Of course it was made all the more painful being this close to her.
The ache however was manageable now, it was still there and as strong as ever, but unlike the first time I came into contact with it, it was bearable.
We were both lying on our sides, her face was mere inches from mine, and I could feel her warm breath tickling my nose.
I tried my best to keep her warm during the nights, so I would always lie on top of the covers to keep her from my cold skin. This of course became difficult every now and then when she would try and snuggle as close as possible during her sleep.
There were many times during these long peaceful nights when I would have to push her back some, due to the fact she would start shivering. And it didn't help when she would somehow maneuver her way out from under the covers.
Her warm arm was currently lying loosely over my neck. She had turned over in the early hours of morning and it had landed there. When I went to move it carefully back under the covers her soft fingers had begun to unconsciously play through my hair and a small smile had formed on her face.
I didn't have the heart to move it after that.
I turned my head and looked at her clock. It was nearly time for me to go; Emmet and Jasper were picking me up at 6:30.
Bella had a morning shift today at Newton's and she would be getting up around seven. I had learned it was easier on both of us if I left while she was still asleep. There was something about the saying goodbye part, no matter how short it was, that got to both of us.
I had told her I would stay and hunt around here again, knowing she hated being separated as much as I did. But she had told me to go and have fun with my brothers. I smiled as I remembered her exact words. "Bag some mountain lions for me"
I really didn't want to leave, but the thought of being able to let loose on some of my instincts was very tempting. Hunting the puny animals around Forks was getting extremely dull. The feral part of me yearned for something large and fast, something that would quench my thirst in one round rather than several.
Turning back towards her I rested my head back on the pillow that smelled of nothing but her lovely hair. The smile on my face seemed to be permanently stuck there. I loved these moments, if I had ever missed sleeping before, I never did now.
This was my moment of rest, just lying here next to my angel, her steady heart beat, soft breathing, and lovely warmth lulling me as close to a peaceful sleep as I could or would ever get again.
With a soft sigh I gently moved her arm from around my neck and laid it back on the blanket before I smoothly slid off the bed, careful not to move it. As soon as I was standing a frown formed on her face.
"Edward?" she mumbled her brows furrowing while her hand reached towards the now empty bed beside her.
"Just sleep love" I whispered, leaning down to pull the covers back over her shoulders. To my relief, she relaxed and stayed soundly asleep.
‘Lets go Edward, the grizzle's are waiting' Emmet's voice entered my head.
They were here, waiting I knew just around the corner.
I hesitated, debating on rather I really wanted to go or not.
‘Come on...Alice said she'd stay near by, she'll be fine'
That was Jasper. I knew Alice was going to keep an eye on Bella because I had been the one to ask her to.
I sighed and looked around...seeing Bella's school things lying out on her desk I grabbed a peace of paper.
I'll be back so soon you won't have time to miss me.
Look after my heart-I've left it with you.
Folding the note up I leaned over and kissed her softly on the forehead before I climbed silently out the window, leaving the folded paper on the sill... the sooner I left the sooner I could return.
We were nearly two hours into our drive when my phone rang.
Emmet groaned. "Come on, what could she have possibly done already?"
I glared at him knowing who he meant by her.
Looking at the number I saw that it was, of course, Alice.
Pushing down the uneasiness I answered trying to keep my voice casual. I knew the only reason Alice would be calling my phone instead of Jasper's would be because of Bella.
"Uh, Edward I think..." she paused.
I waited. Her tone made me more uneasy, I could feel my brothers staring at me, clearly waiting for an answer too.
"What is it?" I asked a little impatiently when she still didn't speak.
"IthinkBella'sgonetoLaPush" She rushed out.
Emmet groaned again and Jasper sighed shaking his head.
Then everything fell silent; all I could here was the Jeep's rumble as we continued down the road. It seemed my mind had momentarily slowed, trying to reform the words that had just been told to me.
‘Gone to La Push'
"Edward?..." The question came from both Alice and Jasper. The later was looking at me cautiously and I could feel his waves of calm washing against my growing fear and anger.
It did little good.
"She must have made a split second decision, because I never saw it coming...not until it was too late" Alice went on.
"So you can't see her now?" I was surprised at how quite and calm my voice was.
"What was the last thing you saw?"
Alice took a breath then said "She was in her truck, she must have been nearly there by the time I saw her because it didn't last long before she disappeared."
"But I know that's why I can't see her, Edward..." she went on quickly when I didn't speak "So it's okay.....I mean it's not okay...but it's better than..."
I threw the phone towards the front seat. By the time Jasper caught it I had already thrown the backdoor open, jumped, and was running in the opposite direction.
Emmet's loud oath was the last thing I heard through the loud gust of wind in my ears.
I would be long gone before Emmet stopped, and I knew he wouldn't follow me.
They knew where I was going and why.
My mind was set on one thing and that was getting back to Forks as quickly as possible.
The world blurred by me, not one tree or sign visible in the smear of color. I pushed myself faster than I ever had before... and yet it still wasn't fast enough.
It would still take too long.
The sun shown brightly, lighting up the rush of colors around me. I knew this was a risk, there was nearly no cloud in the sky today, but I did not care. I would be nothing more than a bright streak to the human eye anyway, a trick of the light if spotted.
I looked at my watch as I ran. It was past 8:30 now. I didn't understand, Bella had to be at work this morning; she should be at the shop right now. What was she doing? Didn't she know...?
Of course she knew, I had told her more than once.
Explained the dangers, explained the risks, and yet she had stepped back into it anyway.
I could feel a growl rumbling up my chest as I pushed myself even faster.
How could she?
I didn't stop or slow till I was standing inside the garage. Alice was there, of course, standing by my Volvo, waiting for me.
"Edward you can't." she said as soon as I was visible.
Ignoring her I walked towards my car.
She stepped in front of me.
"Alice move" I said quietly
"No" she said looking up at me since she was nearly two heads shorter. "Just listen to me for a minute"
I opened to my mouth, but she cut me off, throwing her hands up in front of her as if to hold me there.
"I know your freaking out right now, so just calm down"
I growled under my breath but she went on
"I don't think anything will happen to her, she..."
"SHE IS CURRENTLY WITH A WHOLE PACK OF YOUNG WEREWOVES!" I yelled in her face.
"JUST LIKE SHE DID FOR MONTHS WHEN WE LEFT HER" she yelled back not backing down.
The mention of this made me momentarily speechless and Alice took the advantage
"Nothing ever happened to her" She said quieter but still sternly "from what I heard from Charlie, Bella spent ninety percent of her time on the reservation and came back home every night, in one piece!..." she paused then said quitley "just give it sometime"
I was taking deep breaths trying to calm myself but it was in vain.
"Sometime?" I whispered. "Its past twelve now... she's been there for nearly threehours...Do you know what could happen in that sometime?" My voice was gradually getting louder but I couldn't help it. "The only mature one of the whole pack is Sam..."
"Yes I know that Edward, but..." She began but I cut her off.
"All it would take would be a bit of teasing... the wrong words said, a bad joke, something to tick one of them off and then what?!" I was yelling again as I answered my own question "Bella is going to be there, right in the middle of it...NOW MOVE!"
Quickly pushing her aside before she could stop me I climbed into the car and started the engine.
‘More than likely she's only with one of them, Edward' Alice thought desperately.
I sped backwards from the garage and spun around racing down the driveway. The speedometer was over ninety and still climbing when I reached the road. The last thought I heard from Alice was that she needed to call Carlisle.
It did not matter.
I pushed the pedal to the floor
Carlisle's face was what made slam on the brakes right before I crossed the line. Just like before, when I was faced with a life altering decision, he seemed to be my conscious.
Last time I had listened to that part of me, but this time it seemed so much harder.
I stared at the length of road in front of me. Bella was so close and yet still out of reach.
My hands tightened on the steering wheel and I could feel the flimsy material giving way under my grasp.
"More than likely she's only with one of them, Edward'
Even if Alice was right and Bella was with only Jacob that didn't help matters. All it would take would be for her to mention me in some way... say something wrong and he would loose it. I had seen first hand how close he had come to changing in front of her, regardless of what he always said.
My foot hovered hesitantly over the gas petal. By inching forward just a few feet I would change everything.
The peace Carlisle had built up over the years would be gone in a matter of seconds, not to mention the fact that if I stepped out into the sun light we would have even bigger problems on our hands than just a war.
‘Just give it sometime'
How could I do that?
I couldn't just wait. It had been too long already, anything could have happened by now.
Hell, she could have fallen and hit her head, and I would be completely blind to it,
Would they even now what to do?
‘She came home every night...in one piece.'
How could Bella do this to me, was she trying to make me go crazy, trying to start a fight?
I knew something like this was going to happen, knew she was going to try and sneak away. I could see it in her face last Monday at school. This was all the mongrels' fault...
‘I guess I'll survive or something. Who needs friends?'
He just had to lay an even bigger guilt trip on her, make her feel even worse than she already did.
I squeezed my eyes closed, trying to clear my thoughts.
‘Jacob is in pain...I can't not try to help him...'
‘Just because he's not human all the time...well, he was there for me when I was...not so human myself.'
With an oddly detached feeling I put the car into reverse and pulled off into the trees, making sure I was out of sight from the road.
Parking the car I cut the engine.
As soon as the motor fell silent my hand itched to turn the key again
What was I doing? I couldn't just sit here?
But I couldn't move forward.
What if I crossed the line, broke the treaty, and she was fine
What if I waited and she got hurt
Flinging the door open I jumped out.
I couldn't sit, I had to move.
Throwing all my anxiety, anger, and fear into my quick strides I began to pace back and forth.
Forks to my right the boundary line to my left.
I vaguely wondered why nobody had showed up yet. Alice had had plenty of time to contact Carlisle. I was surprised he wasn't here right now trying to talk me out of it.
I knew he would disagree with what I was planning to do, but I also knew he wouldn't try to stop me. He may not like my choices but that's how he is, he lets you be your own person.
I growled and stopped my pacing; walking quickly away from the border line I leaned against the back of the car, putting my head in my hands.
It felt as though it was splitting in two.
I looked at my watch for what felt like the hundredth time and growled again. If she had gone to visit Jacob surely she would be back by now. She had to know Alice would be anxious at her disappearance and would eventually call me.
Did she not care what this would do to me, what it was doing to me?
Did she want me to cross the line, to start a war? Did she not understand what that would do to all of our lives? We would have to leave again. And where would that leave her? She would have to cut everything out of her life much quicker, leave everyone behind unexpectedly with no kind of goodbye.
That is if she still wanted this...still wanted...
I shook my head to wipe those absurd thoughts away. Bella had told be a hundred times that this was what she wanted, that she had made her decision.
The problem was her constantly expressed desires still didn't seem to be enough to wash away the twinge of doubt that had been growing daily.
Usually when we were together it was instantly pushed away, the honesty and love that was always so astounding when she looked at me was a constant reassurance. But it didn't completely ease my mind.
Every time she said his name or whenever he was mentioned I could see something in her face, something that made the guilt and hurt go further than even I think she realized.
Something that made her constantly put herself in danger, something that made her drop everything today and make a split second decision.
On top of everything else, I now began to feel that bitter feeling of jealousy rise up in me again, and it made me even angrier.
I could clearly see an image I had gotten from Charlie not long after my return...
Bella running and laughing through the rain, making her way towards- what I assumed to be Billy's house- hand in hand with Jacob Black.
I became furious, not because the memory brought on more jealously but because I was repulsed with myself. Here I was fretting over the fact that Bella was with another guy, completely forgetting what the other guy was.
Quickly the picture changed in my head...
Bella was face to face with sharp snarling teeth. I could hear her scream in my ears... and then there she was, lying on the ground covered in blood and deep gashes.
I felt the rumble building it my chest again and I let it loose. My roar of frustration and fear echoed off the surrounding trees as I spun on my heal, striding back towards the boundary...
The werewolves did not matter,
The treaty did not matter,
Carlisle did not matter,
The near eighty years of peace that had resided between wolf and vampire was irrelevant when compared to Isabella Swan.
Stopping just short of the border I stared down at the ground. In my minds eye I could see that invisible line laid out at my feet. A hidden line that separated monster from monster, peace and bloodshed..... Bella and me.
I took a deep breath through my nose, I was no longer thinking of the fact I was standing in broad day light ready to leave my car behind me. The only thing I was thinking was the fact I couldn't erase the image of my angel laying on the ground, her beautiful blood being soaked up by the unworthy grass.
‘I'm sorry Carlisle'
I lifted my foot....
And I heard it.
That unmistakable rumble of the old Chevy.
I rolled back onto my heals, my breath rushing out in a relieved rush. I was not mistaken, I knew that sound and it was steadily getting closer.
It was fine, she was fine...she was on her way back, it was Okay.
As quickly as it came the relief was gone, replaced by anger... it pulsed through me fast and strong.
In the blink of an eye I was back behind the wheel of my car, the engine running. I pulled back towards the edge of the road and waited.
It wasn't long before her truck rumbled by; I caught a quick glimpse of her brown hair blowing in the open window before I pulled out.
I sped up, the front of my car inches from her bumper. A part of me wanted her to pull over and another part wanted her to keep going, because right now I was furious.
She didn't stop and except for one quick -and somewhat frightened- glance in her rearview mirror she didn't look back at me.
It wasn't until she had slowed to pull into the Weber's driveway that I remembered she had set a date with Angela to help out with invitations.
She would have to come home sooner or later, and when she did I would be there.
The sun was getting low in the sky when Bella finally came home and I was still fuming.
I wasn't even sure who I was angry with.
It would begin with Bella, she had once again put her self in danger, nearly made me break the treaty... then it would change and I'd be mad at Jacob for being the reason she went to La Push in the first place... and then I would be angry at myself for being the reason they had come together.
"Bella?" Charlie asked when the fort door opened.
I tensed when I heard her voice, and I realized a part of me was in fact angry with her. I really didn't like how that felt, but I couldn't stop it either.
"So how was your day?"
"Good...They didn't need me at work, so I went down to La Push"
Well that explained her not being at work.
"How's Jacob?" Charlie asked.
"You get over to the Weber's?"
"Yep. We got all her announcements addressed."
"That's nice...I'm glad you spent time with your friends today"
She couldn't delay any longer, there was nothing else for her to do but come up stairs. Apparently she knew this too, because when she spoke again it was in a resigned voice.
"I'm going to go study"
"See you later"
Her footsteps and scent was steadily getting closer. When she opened the door I didn't move from my spot by the window. She of course knew I would be here, and waited till she walked in and closed the door before she turned around.
Her eyes found mine; they were hesitant and a bit scared. I wasn't sure what she saw on my face and I didn't really care... my anger was near boiling point.
"Hi" she finally said.
What? No sorry for nearly causing a war, no sorry for making me go crazy with worry for nearly the whole day.
Nope...just a simple ‘Hi'
I still didn't speak. She knew what she had done, why I was here.
"Er...so, I'm still alive"
The growl came before I could stop it. I had never felt the urge to yell at Bella before, but I did now and I didn't like it in the least.
How could she possibly say something like that? Say something that meant so much in such a casual off hand way. Once again I began to wonder about her mind a bit, it was like she had absolutely no regard for her own safety, for her own life.
"No harm done" she added after another long pause.
Unable to look at her beautiful face anymore I closed my eyes, pinching my nose between my fingers. I knew I had a bad temper. I have always had trouble with controlling it. If this was anyone else or any other situation I would be yelling my head off for a second time today.
But I couldn't... it just wasn't in me, there was no way I could look at that face and yell.
"Bella" I finally whispered, still unable to look at her "Do you have any idea how close I came to crossing the line today? To breaking the treaty and coming after you? Do you know what that would have meant?"
She gasped and I opened my eyes to stare at her shocked and frighten face. How could that possibly surprise her?
"You can't" she said loudly her eyes wide "They'd use any excuse for a fight. They'd love that. You can't ever break the rules"
"Maybe they aren't the only ones who would enjoy a fight" I said truthfully. Ripping off a few wolf limbs sounded really appealing at the moment, especially a particular wolf.
"Don't you start" she snapped at me "You made the treaty...you stick to it"
"If he'd hurt you..."
I clenched my jaw; she was making not yelling harder and harder.
"There's nothing to worry about. Jacob isn't dangerous"
I rolled my eyes, this coming from her. "Bella...you're not exactly the best judge of what is or isn't dangerous"
"I know I don't have to worry about Jake. And neither do you"
My hands curled into fists and my jaw clenched. I was so tired of hearing that name come from her mouth. He was a werewolf, her best friend was a hostile dog for crying out loud and she tells me I have nothing to worry about.
She began to walk towards me but I didn't move. Her warm arms circled around my waist as she pressed her soft body into mine.
"I'm sorry I made you anxious" she whispered.
It was no use; her touch did what nothing else could ever do before, not even Jasper.
She Calmed me.
No matter how angry I was her warmth was always soothing.
Seeming of their own accord my arms wrapped instinctively around her small frame.
"Anxious is a bit of an understatement" I sighed, as some of my muscles relaxed for the first time in hours. "It's been a long day"
Too long and I had a sudden desire for it to be over.
"You weren't suppose to know about it" she said "I thought you'd be hunting longer" she looked up at my face with disapproval. What did she expect? I was just supposed to go on with my trip when I knew where she was...not likely.
"When Alice saw you disappear, I came back"
"You shouldn't have done that. Now you'll have to leave again" She frowned looking up at me.
"I can wait" I was hungry yes, but I had gone much longer without hunting before. Bella wasn't leaving my sight anytime soon.
"That's ridiculous" she said in an annoyed voice. "I mean, I know she couldn't see me with Jacob..." My hands clenched again at the name. "...but you should have known..."
"But I didn't" I cut her off "And you can't expect me to let you..."
"Oh yes I can...that's exactly what I expect"
"This won't happen again" I growled quietly. I was already working on a plan for the next time I had to leave. She would not do this again.
"That's right! Because you're not going to over react next time"
"Because there isn't going to be a next time" I argued.
"I understand when you have to leave, even if I don't like it..."
"That's not the same. I'm not risking my life"
"Neither am I"
"Werewolves constitute a risk." Which, in turn constitutes me tearing them apart.
"I'm not negotiating this, Bella"
"Neither am I"
I hated this...how could we be standing so close together and yet be so far apart? I didn't like this feeling, and I hated what this subject was doing to us, doing to her.
But I wasn't backing down. She would be staying away from that reservation.
"Is this really just about my safety?" she said suddenly.
"What you mean?" I asked defensively, of course it was.
"You aren't..." she hesitated "I mean, you know better than to be jealous right?"
I raised an eyebrow at her...it was a good question, for I was jealous. It was a human feeling I had gained that I didn't particularly like but it was there nonetheless.
"Easily...there's nothing remotely humors about this"
She narrowed her eyes suspiciously, "Or....is this something else all together? Some vampires-and-werewoves-are-alaways-enemies nonsense? Is this just a testosterone fueled...?"
"This is only about you" I said fiercely.
It was true that werewolves and vampires were born enemies, but that was irrelevant to this situation "All I care about is that you're safe"
She looked at me for a moment and sighed "Okay, I believe that. But I want you to know something...when it comes to all this enemies' nonsense, I'm out. I am a neutral country. I'm Switzerland. I refuse to be affected by territorial disputes between mythical creatures. Jacob is family. You are...well, not exactly the love of my life, because I expect to love you far longer than that. The love of my existence... I don't care who's a werewolf and who's a vampire. If Angela turns out to be a witch, she can join the party too."
I stared at her. Her cheeks were slightly pink from her little- and despite the situation slightly amusing- rant. Though I would be lying to myself if I didn't feel better after it, her words comforted me. But I still wasn't backing down, like I had told her before, the risk was too high.
"Switzerland" she said emphasizing the word.
I sighed, I didn't want to fight anymore and the way I saw it there was no fight to begin with. This would not happen again.
Then I smelled it. With all the stress of the moment I hadn't noticed the pungent odor mixing with her usual heavenly scent.
My nose wrinkled.
"What now?" she asked annoyed.
"Well...don't be offended, but you smell like a dog"
I couldn't help but smile at the look that crossed her face.
For once I wouldn't be disappointed when she had her human moment tonight.
- Seed of Doubt
- Unwilling to see
- The Right to Know
- Strike One
- Worth It
- Getting Heathcliff
- Curious Uncertainties
- Strike Two
- Not Today
- Getting Heathcliff Part 2
- Self Preservation
- A Change of Plans
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- 06 Jul 08
- 12 Mar 10
- In Progress